Title: Patience, Chapter 13 - Feral

Pairing: Jacob/Bella

Rating: M

Spoilers: Twilight, New Moon

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns and originated these extremely compelling characters. I'm not making a dime from this.

Author's Note: So, only a couple of people correctly guessed what was going on with Jacob. Were you one of them?

13. Feral

Every ounce of Jacob's energy was focused on getting himself back in control as the hostess led them to their table. Bella had no idea what she was playing with. How could she? How could she know there was a feral beast snarling inside him, and she was its prey? She'd told him she loved him. That…changed things. Didn't it? He was supposed to be gentle with her. He owed her that. But there was nothing gentle about the way he felt. Ever since he saw her at the top of the stairs, the urge to bite her had been growing steadily stronger. He wanted to do things to her. He needed to mark her. Own her. The ferocity of it terrified him. His steel box was holding, but just barely. He shuddered to think what would happen if he couldn't control it anymore.

He navigated the closely-spaced tables, feeling a bit like a bull in a china shop. They reached a table near the back of the room and the hostess motioned for them to sit.

He smiled artificially as he pulled out Bella's chair, and watched her face fall. She could see right through him. He cursed himself. Their first real date, and he was acting like an ass. The prospect of screwing this night up sobered him like a smack in the forehead. While she sat down, he took a steadying breath.

"Holly will be right with you," the hostess offered, smiling.

"Thanks," Jacob said.

The girl walked back to her station. Jacob sat beside Bella, moving his chair close.

She was scanning her menu, conspicuously not looking at him. He'd hurt her. He hated it. But it was better this than the alternative. Even now, the beast in him was eyeing the wisps of hair that teased the curve of her neck. Stalking her. Seething.

Salivating.

He felt his groin tighten and knew he had to clamp down on the direction of his thoughts. "You look really beautiful," he said. His voice sounded strained.

Bella lifted her eyes from the menu. Judging by the look on her face, she hadn't missed the note in his voice. "Are you sure?"

He released the breath he'd been holding. Now she was offended. He hoped that was a step up from hurt. He took her hand in his and pressed her soft, cool fingers to his lips. "Really beautiful."

The corners of her eyes relaxed a little, and she shifted in her seat.

"I'm…" He fought for the words that would set her mind at ease. Hopefully without scaring the hell out of her. "I'm not used to this. To having you all to myself. To knowing that you…" Love me. He sucked in his breath and looked at her through his lashes. "I want to take it slow."

She blinked, her chest rising and falling a little faster.

Damn. Would she breathe quickly like that if he bent her over the table and…

No!

Jacob pushed away from her and propped his head in his hands. He was going to spend the entire night with a raging erection.

"Jacob, what is it? Are you okay?"

He could sense her hand hovering by his shoulder, like she was afraid to touch him. He got himself back under control and looked at her apologetically. "I will be."

"Maybe we should just go home. We can always do this some other time."

"Hell no. We're going to have a wonderful, romantic date, dammit."

Bella was momentarily taken aback, but then promptly burst into laughter. He immediately realized how ridiculous he sounded and joined her. It felt good. He felt himself uncoil a little.

As their chuckles were subsiding, a server came to their table with bread and a pitcher of water. Jacob watched Bella while the server worked. For the first time tonight, he felt relaxed. He sighed. Bella was smiling, and her shoulders had softened.

The beast was still there, but tamed. The server came and took their orders. While they waited, they shared stories about their families, and about school. Their easy, familiar companionship returned.

Their plates came, and they exchanged bites of each other's food. Bella's salmon was better than his rosemary chicken, but both were still incredibly good. To Jacob's relief, the beast didn't rouse, even when he admired her beautiful mouth, or breathed in her scent.

The reprieve lasted until the moment they stood to leave.

As he pulled out her chair, he realized he would have her alone again soon. Possibilities and fantasies flooded his mind. He felt his body tense, and put his hand on her back to rush her out.

Bella nearly tripped over her feet trying to keep up with him. "Jacob, slow down!"

"Goodnight!" the hostess called as they approached the door.

He waved and nodded at her, making no effort to hide his irritation.

"Jacob, what is it? Are we going to be late or something?"

They emerged outdoors and he steered her over to the Rabbit. "No. I just needed to get out of there."

"Why? I thought it was really nice. Didn't you like it?"

He backed her against the car and took her hand, laying it over his groin so she could feel exactly what his problem was. "I liked it just fine."

"Oh." Bella's eyes went wide. She looked down at where he held her hand.

The honesty and innocence of her response made the beast roar to full awareness. Jacob hissed and pulled her hand away, wrapping it behind her back. With his other hand, he opened the passenger side door. "Get in."

Bella felt the danger emanating from Jacob, as though he were on the verge of phasing. But his skin wasn't rippling. The second he released her, she obeyed him without question. While he circled to the other side of the car, she tried to sort out her confusion.

He wouldn't look at her as he sat in the driver's seat and started the engine. She watched the muscles in his jaw tick.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella," he rasped. He looked over his shoulder to back the car out of the lot, still avoiding her eyes.

She sat quietly, as tense as a deer sensing a mountain lion nearby. A barrage of irrational fears tormented her. Had he changed his mind about being with her? He still hadn't said he loved her. Had confessing her feelings changed things between them?

It was happening. History was repeating itself. It was Edward all over again.

After almost twenty minutes on the road, Jacob hadn't relaxed at all. She watched him ratchet his hand forward on the steering wheel for the tenth time and decided she couldn't take it anymore. "Jacob, what is it? Talk to me." She wanted to put her hand on his arm, but he seemed ready to snap.

"It's my problem, Bella. It was stupid of me to do that outside the restaurant."

His words found their way to the crack in her heart. "I thought…don't you want me anymore, Jacob?"

For the first time since they left Port Angeles, he looked at her. Glared, really. His eyes went as wide as the moon. Abruptly, he wrenched the wheel to the right and brought the car to a stop on the side of the road. After turning off the ignition, he leaned over her and cupped her chin in his hand. "Bella, I want you so much. Don't you see?"

His words and the earnestness behind them made her heart start thumping.

He caressed the side of her face. "You make me feel…" He pinched his eyes shut then took a breath before opening them again. "I don't want to hurt you."

She was only getting more confused. "Jacob, I know you. You would never hurt me."

His brows drew together tightly, forming deep creases between them. "You overestimate me. You deserve tenderness, Bella. I don't know if I can do it. I want you so bad. Do you know how hard it is for me?"

Understanding bloomed within her, bringing blessed relief. All of her fears fell away. How silly of her to have doubted Jacob's feelings. She covered his fingers with her hand. "Jacob, I love you. I love you." Her voice became breathier as she spoke. "Where'd you get this idea that you have to be tender? Just do what feels good."

Jacob's nostrils flared as he examined her face. After several intense moments, he pulled her towards him and crashed his lips upon hers. Her body instantly flooded to life. Mercilessly, he ravaged her mouth, grazing her lips with his teeth. She was helpless to do anything but stroke his tongue with her own. That small action seemed to inflame him further. His hands roamed all over her face and throat. She could hear his labored breathing.

Arousal mingled with her joy and relief. She kissed Jacob back with everything she felt for him. She wanted more. She needed to touch him. To show him. She pulled her feet up and twisted around until she was straddling his lap, her skirt hiking up to her hips.

He groaned. "Bella, what are you doing?" His expression looked pained.

"Is this okay?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head back, viciously squeezing her thighs. She took that as a yes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and resumed kissing him. She knew he could be free in a second if he wanted to, but for now, he was her captive. She felt a delicious power. Every time he tried to dominate their kiss, she pulled her lips away. Each time, he would suck his breath between his teeth and pull her thighs tighter against him, until she could feel his erection teasing her between her legs.

"God, you smell so fucking good," Jacob hissed. While she kissed him, he snaked his hand behind her and slipped his fingers inside her panties.

Bella cried out, breaking their kiss. "Oh God!"

He descended upon her exposed throat. Her hips writhed helplessly as he stroked her. His other hand slipped inside her dress and cupped her breast, squeezing it roughly.

He had turned the tables! Somehow he had wrested control from her, and she couldn't do a thing about it.

Jacob plunged a finger inside her, and she felt herself swell around him in a rush of pleasure. Jacob is inside me. The words repeated over and over in her mind, like a mantra. Her inner walls contracted violently.

Jacob wailed. He stopped suckling her throat and breathed noisily against her skin. She could feel his body shaking. His need drove her wild. She sought out his mouth again for a wet, mindless kiss. This was not sweet or elegant. She was out of her mind, grinding her pelvis into his hand. He thrust deeply into her, withdrawing and thrusting again. She needed to touch him the way he was touching her. At long last, she needed to know what he felt like. When she began fumbling with his zipper, he froze and sucked in his breath.

"Ah, yes..."

His shaky voice spurred her on. She unzipped his pants. Jacob held his breath, his mouth open against her throat. Her sex pulsed with excitement.

She found her way into his boxer briefs, trembling as her fingers brushed the skin of his sex for the first time.

Jacob groaned and rewarded her with a rough thrust of his fingers.

She whimpered and explored him further, marveling at how hot he felt, how heavy.

"Bella…"

Jacob's sanity was hanging on by the barest thread. He couldn't believe Bella was touching his cock. He pulled her panties roughly to the side, stretching them to give him better access. She squeezed his sex, and he responded in kind, plunging his fingers deeper within her. She felt so incredible. Indescribable. He delved his fingers into her sweet little body, reveling in the sounds she made, feeling her pulse race against his lips.

Unexpectedly, she shifted forward. Was he hurting her? He removed his hand, and nearly came out of his seat when she brushed herself against his erection. He instantly felt his sack tighten with the need to come. "Oh God."

He dug his fingertips into her hips. What the hell was she doing to him? How strong did she think he was? The sane part of his mind cried out to stop her, but when she stroked her sex up and down his length again, he found himself slouching lower in the seat, giving her better access. He needed to be inside her so bad.

While he fought his internal battle, Bella lifted his cock and began to press it into her body.

Holy fuck. They were going to have sex. Right fucking now. God, not here. Not here. His whole body shook from the effort of holding back. His sex slipped against hers, and they both moaned.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to mercilessly thrust into her. She lifted him again and began to work the head into her body.

God, she was so hot…so hot…

He heard his own plaintive sounds as if from a distance, mingling with Bella's cries. He fought with everything he had to keep from shoving her back against the steering wheel and fucking her until he could feel the back of her throat. Bella pressed her body onto his, and suddenly some hidden resistance gave way. She yelped sharply, and her body seized with shock.

Jacob panicked. One second he was inside her, and the next, she was on her back in the passenger seat, with her head against the door. His heart thumped with adrenaline as he hovered over her. What the hell had they done?

"Ouch." Bella's face was contorted in pain.

He sucked in his breath and looked at her with horror. "Did you hit your head?"

"No."

"What hurts?"

She peeked one eye open and moved her hand over her groin.

Jacob felt like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head. The reality of what just happened suddenly assailed him. They'd just taken each others' virginity! And he'd ruined it! He screamed inside, his face crumpling. He wanted to tear his own hair out! "Oh my god, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. It's supposed to hurt. The first time. I didn't know it was going to hurt this much though."

"I shouldn't have pulled out like that. It's my fault."

She opened her eyes and lifted her hand to his face. "It's not your fault, Jacob. It hurt before we…stopped. Honestly, I don't think I could've gone on."

Her words did nothing to ease his guilt. It felt like a ton of bricks on his chest. He gathered her into his arms and sat her up, stroking her back tenderly. She was as stiff as a board, but as he went on caressing her and lovingly kissed her forehead and cheeks, he felt her soften.

They sat silently like that for several minutes. Jacob was still trying to process what had happened. Holding her was helping. "I don't want to let you go."

She buried her face in his throat. "I don't want you to either."

His heart tightened. She still wanted to be close to him, despite how horribly he'd botched their first time. He kissed the top of her head, resting his lips there while he stroked her temple with his thumb.

After a few moments, she pulled back a little. Her features were soft and unsure again. There was no sign of the pain from before. "You could stay with me tonight, if you want. Just to hold me."

When the words came into his heart, he didn't think. He just said them. "I love you, Bella." Once it was said, his pulse began to race.

Tears formed in her eyes. She clutched her hand in his shirt. "Jacob. I love you."

He believed her. Things could only be like this between them if she really loved him. He cupped his hand behind her neck and brought their lips together softly. Afterwards, he rested his forehead against hers. She was glowing, and he could feel it reflected in him.

Reluctantly, he broke away. As he started the engine and pulled back onto the road, the beast was surprisingly sated.

Chapter End Note: I hope you enjoyed reading that chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Let me know what you think by dropping me a review. :)