Surprise! I know I just tweeted the other day (yesterday, in fact) that this chapter wasn't finished. After further review, and consulting with my two co-conspirators I felt like I was at a place where I could finish it off. In reality, it was already finished! It's not as long as the previous installment, but I promise (at least I think it is) a good one!
I can't promise when the next update will be as Friday is officially the start of what is the insane time in my work life. But I will try my best to get it out before the years out. I don't want to let you guys down and have you all (or whoever is left) abandon me!
Anyway, special thanks to Lauren and my mom for reading this over a million times. I'm actually surprised at how well this chapter came together with no solid plan written out. I hope you all enjoy it! Same disclaimer as always.
Chapter 12
The weight of the key felt heavy and unfamiliar in her hand. Rachel struggled for a minute against her emotions as she held the silver key and closed her palm around the small item that to her meant so much. To her it meant her future was that much closer. It meant freedom. It meant no more punches to the face or the stomach or unwanted sexual advances. It meant she had found an escape. It meant she had survived.
It was early in the morning, so early that neither of the girls were awake yet, or either of her parents. She sat on the balcony of the suite, high off the ground and wrapped in a blanket that she had gotten housekeeping to bring up. She sat with the plush linen wrapped around her body as she sipped at the coffee she had made for herself, the bitter taste still a little too much on her tongue - just like yesterday. She used to love coffee. He had even managed to take that away from her as well.
She turned the key over and over in the palm of her hand, letting the cool brass imprint itself on her skin. She was nervous, she'd admit to that. It was all coming together so quickly, and she was feeling anxious beyond belief. This little key held so much for her, and she was terrified that she was going to screw everything up. She brought the mug of coffee up to her lips and tried to allow the warmth of the drink to spread through her. But it wasn't enough. Her stomach turned at the thought of everything that was going to happen today, and she tried to breathe. But as she closed her eyes against the feeling, she was plagued immediately by memories of what she now had coined with Michelle to be her prior life.
New York. They were moving to New York, and it was happening - today. She felt the rush of anxiousness flush through her veins as they waited for their plane to board. They had packed up her small apartment in the past few weeks and sent it along by transport, in order for it to meet them at the new apartment Brody had gotten them. She rubbed her large bump several times as the baby inside did back flips or something that felt a little bit like gymnastics. She felt nervous. She was leaving everything that she knew, all the security she had built herself and following Brody into the unknown. The little girl inside her kicked softy as if she was acknowledging Rachel's feelings, just as Brody came back, a giggling Ione strapped to his back.
"Here you are, my lady," Brody smiled as he handed her the bottle of water he had gone to get her. "Might have given Ione a little bit of chocolate milk, hope that's okay," he gave her a look she couldn't quite read. She shifted in her chair, the baby was pressing pretty incessantly on her kidneys, and she only had the power to nod her head yes.
"New York is going to be amazing," he sighed as he stood in front of Rachel. "help me take her off?" he interrupted. Rachel put down her water bottle and she reached up to help Ione out of the backpack he had strapped her in. Ione squirmed as her feet hit the floor. "You're going to love the apartment. It's so big, the girls can have their own rooms!" he took Ione's hands in his and moved them in an excited motion. "It's going to be great Mom!" he cheered in a high voice.
She hadn't known then, but that day had been the start of her nightmare. She clutched her hand around the key once more, until the small object left an imprint on her hand. Her casted hand held the coffee mug, and she twisted her fingers as much as she could around the handle. She felt nervous, in that moment, about the future. Every time she thought about it, tried to feel excited or happy or even nervous about the future, memories of the past came back in floods. She pressed the key harder into her hand just as the door behind her slowly slid open. She put down her coffee mug on the small table beside the door and wiped her eyes as best she could while still staying under the blanket. She sat up in time to see Ione tip toe onto the balcony and Rachel couldn't help but allow a small smile to come to her lips.
"Hey there sweet girl," Rachel smiled. "What are you doing up so early?"
Ione shrugged slowly as she approached. Rachel lifted the blanket so Ione could sit down beside her and cuddled her into her side to keep her warm. "I couldn't sleep anymore," she shrugged again as she leaned into Rachel. "Ayla was kicking in her sleep again," she sighed. Rachel nodded. Ayla had always been a kicker in her sleep. Even when she was a newborn.
"Well, tonight maybe you'll be able to sleep in your own bed again," Rachel offered quietly.
Ione only nodded and leaned into Rachel's side again. "Mommy?" she asked after a few minutes.
Rachel turned to look at her, and her small peaceful smile faltered when she saw the way Ione's own features had turned down.
"Yeah sweet girl, what's going on in your mind?" she asked quietly.
Ione looked down at her fingers and twisted them in her lap. Rachel waited for Ione to speak.
"...I'm scared about the new house," she stumbled out quietly.
Rachel turned her attention to fully focus on Ione. "What are you scared about sweetheart? You saw it yesterday, with me," she paused as she reached over and pushed her messy hair back from her face. "You like it, don't you?"
Ione shrugged again and moved into the touch Rachel was giving her. "It is nice," she started. Ione looked up at the floor above them. Rachel could see the ideas and thoughts turning in her head. She had once said Ione wasn't expressive, that she was her closed off little girl. But truth was she told everything in her eyes.
When she turned her head back down and looked at her, she saw thoughts swimming in her green irises.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, as if she was trying to figure out what to say. "I'm just..." her forehead crumpled as she turned to look at Rachel.
"Mom, where's Brody?" she asked quietly.
Rachel looked at her, her own mouth dropping. Her heart pumped in her chest and pushed the blood up through her ears. She cleared her throat.
"Ione," she started. She cleared her throat again; she felt like a lump was growing faster than she could get ahead of. She breathed deeply before turning her body so she was facing Ione head on. She gently searched under the blanket for Ione's hand, curling her fingers around her smaller one when she found it. "Ione, Brody is in jail," she said finally. The words hung in the air, tightly in front of her.
Rachel swallowed hard. She squeezed Ione's fingers, again, as she looked at her intently. Ione looked back at her with a look that was just as intense. She saw the questions swirling in her eyes, but no other emotion flicked across her features. Rachel's heart squeezed in that moment. She realized then, how much Ione must have been suffering. She realized how her original plan, to keep the intricacies of what exactly had happened from her girls - was probably not the greatest idea she had ever had.
"I didn't tell you, did I?" Rachel offered. When Ione shook her head and ducked her face so Rachel couldn't see, Rachel almost whimpered. "Oh sweet girl." She pulled her arm out from beneath the blanket and gestured for Ione to get up from her chair and sit on her lap. In place of the indecision that was usually on her features, Ione quickly slipped from beneath the blanket and without reservation sat slowly on Rachel's lap. Rachel replaced the blanket and moved her knee slowly so a lot of Ione's weight wasn't on it. She kissed her head as Ione curled up against her chest, against her heart.
"Is he going to get out?" Ione asked quietly. The fear that laced her innocent voice caused Rachel's heart to seize in an instant.
"I don't know the answer to that sweetheart," she started quietly. "But I do know, that I am never going to let him come near us again. The police are never going to let him come near us again. Nana and Papa are never going to let anything happen to us sweetheart," she whispered. "He's in jail honey. And the court is going to keep him away from us because he really, seriously hurt me. And he hurt you. And that's not okay. That's never okay."
Ione was quiet, as she played with the few loose threads on the top of the blanket Rachel was laying on.
"But what if that doesn't happen?" she asked so softly that Rachel almost missed the words. "What if he finds us at the new apartment," she questioned.
"Ione," Rachel sighed. She pulled her tighter, squeezing her to her chest. She placed a few kisses on her head, and in that moment Rachel felt thankful that she was still able to do this, still able to hold her. Brody hadn't been able to take that away from her. He hadn't been able to take away her girls, like he had promised to do so often. She squeezed her eyes tightly as she just held Ione.
"I'm really scared Mommy," Ione whispered against Rachel's chest.
Rachel's heart pounded. The fear that dripped from Ione's voice cracked her down to her very soul. "I was so scared, when you didn't come. But Mr. Hudson stayed with us, and protected us. And then when we couldn't find you...I thought...Mommy I thought you were gone," her voice dripped. She tensed with the feeling of regret, that traced through her body. Ione quieted then, and wrapped herself around Rachel more.
"Listen to me," Rachel swallowed quietly. She brought her casted hand up and used her fingers to tilt Ione's face up to hers. The little girls eyes glittered, but no tears had fallen from her pretty green eyes.
"Nothing, not Brody, or anyone else...can ever take me away from you. You know that right?" Rachel sighed. "You are my life, Ione. I love you so unbelievably much, more than anything. I'm going to protect you sweetheart. We're safe now. You're safe now. It's okay to feel okay. He's never going to hurt us again...I won't let it happen," she sighed. She pursed her lips before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before, Ione," she whispered.
"Mommy, it doesn't feel okay," she whispered. Ione curled into Rachel more. It was like she was trying to make herself as small as possible; it was her comfort position - something she has done for as long as Rachel could remember. Rachel sighed and pulled her closer as she pressed a few kisses to her head.
"It's okay to not feel okay," she offered. "It's not going to feel okay all at once. But the new apartment - it's our first step."
"Do you promise he's not going to come find us?" Ione asked in a small voice. "He's not going to get out, ever, right?" her questions were like a lightening bolt to her heart. "I don't want to see him again Mommy. I...don't ever wanna see him again..." she whispered.
"I..." she paused, trying to figure out how to phrase the answer, so that it wouldn't instill more fear into Ione. Her voice was already dripping with enough of it to last a lifetime. "All I can promise, Ione, is that I am going to try my very best to ensure you never have to see Brody again."
She hated moving. She hadn't done it a lot in her short lifetime, but each time made Rachel hate it even more than the last. Her Mom took the girls out for breakfast in the hotel restaurant while she and her father went over to her old apartment one more time. She wrung her hands as they rode over, because she had arranged for Mr. Hudson, err - Finn, to meet them over there. They needed the bulk of the help, getting beds and other things from this apartment to the new one. But she wasn't nervous because of what this meant - what chapter this closed. She was nervous because Finn was coming up. She was worried about that he was going to judge her. The place was still in shambles, to her knowledge. Her landlord was being patient, allowing her to take her time and had promised she wasn't responsible for cleanup of the damage. She was thankful for that small mercy, and prayed that maybe they had been by already.
When they pulled up to the apartment building, chills and goose bumps rose on her skin under her sweater and coat combination.
"This is going to be the last time you need to come here, songbird," her dad offered as he shut off the rental truck.
"Doesn't make it hurt any less," she whispered. Leroy reached over and placed his hand on her arm.
"I know. But I'm right here, okay? We're going to take this however you want to..." he tried. "This can be a good day. Let's make it one, alright?"
She nodded, before she reached for the handle and slowly got out of the truck. She took her time getting down from the truck, careful not to injure her knee. When her feet were both firmly on the ground, a voice from behind her caught her attention.
"Hey, Rachel..." she turned around slowly and pushed her hands into her pockets as Mr. Hudson started to stride towards her. She felt the same nervousness she had moments ago settle in her stomach as he came closer. The flash of what the apartment had looked like when she came a month ago before she went to Carmel caused her hands to twitch in her pockets. Finn stopped his stride a few steps in front of her and stuck his own hands into the pockets of his jacket. He wasn't wearing the wool coat she usually saw him wearing.
"Good morning," he smiled.
"Good morning," she nodded. "I really appreciate this. I'm still pretty useless with my knee and," she shrugged as she pulled her hand out of her pocket and gestured to her wrist.
"Not a problem," he smiled. "Just glad I could help out," they both nodded, sticking hands in their pockets as they took in the neighbourhood around them. Finn broke the silence. "Should we go inside? It's pretty cold out here..."
Rachel nodded slowly. She turned briefly to find her dad standing beside the driver side door of the truck. "You know my dad, right? Leroy Berry..."
Finn nodded. "He's picked up the girls a few times. But I think we met at the...at the hospital..." he sighed quietly. Her dad nodded in confirmation and Rachel shifted her weight to her stable leg.
"Let's get this finished," Leroy summoned. Rachel and Finn both nodded in agreement and followed him into the apartment building, that had once been her home. And her house of horrors.
Being back in the apartment again, in a better, slightly stronger state of mind caused a dizzying set of emotions to burst through her. The landlord had kept his promise and then some. He had arranged for the broken and useless furniture to be taken out, and had gotten the blood stain scrubbed. But it didn't mean she didn't remember the feeling of upset that flooded through her veins.
"We can start, um...Finn, do you want to start in the kitchen? I'm taking the chairs and the table...and there isn't much in the cabinets in the way of dishes but we can just...we can just throw everything in boxes," she sighed. "If it's broken, I don't want it," she sighed with a hint of defeat to her voice. When she was last here she didn't look at things closely. She had zeroed in on the essentials, and the things she had known the girls and her both needed and wanted. She had gotten through. And now it was time to reset.
She took a deep breath and pushed her cheeks out in a deep breath.
"I got it, kitchen..." he pushed a smile to his cheeks and headed off in the direction of the small room. Rachel didn't spend too much time watching him go.
Instead, she turned her attention to her father. "Want to pack up the girls room? It's just really...just toys and their bedding...then we have to take apart their beds and..." she stumbled through her words as she began to feel overwhelmed. It had been a whirlwind and she felt everything coming to a head in that moment.
"We'll get it done, Rachel," her dad promised. "We'll get it done."
She could only nod, before she ventured off to her own room to gather whatever she had left behind on their last trip.
Finally, the apartment was empty, save for the things she decided to discard. They left everything in piles, the trash tied up in black plastic bags ready to be tossed. She took a minute to herself to stand in the virtually empty room, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked around. She bit her lip as she gazed at the space, and closed her eyes tightly as memories once again flooded through her. The weight of the implications of everything that had happened once they had moved to this small apartment coloured everything. But at the same time, she felt a distinct sense of peace flush over her too.
She was done. She was free. She was moving on.
Rachel took a deep breath as she did a once over of the room one more time to make sure nothing was left. As she walked to the front door, she bit her lip as she moved through the doorway and closed the door firmly behind her, leaving the key in the lock.
When Rachel got down to the trucks, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding so tightly. She had taken her time to descend the stairs, feeling in every fiber of her being like she was walking towards the light, finding the end of a long tunnel. When she reached the outdoors she gave herself a minute alone, with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes closed to the sunlight that came over her. She felt, in that second, that it was over - even if it was truly far from over - but this part was done. When she opened her eyes she had to blink quickly to stop the tears that she felt were bubbling behind her lids and at the corners of her eyes. She focused in on the rental truck in front of her, as her vision danced around her surroundings. Her eyes landed on Finn standing next to his truck, his back to her as he did something on what looked like his cell phone. His truck wasn't quite as full as the rental van, but they had been able to fit the girls beds and dresser in the back, along with a few boxes that were filled with whatever he had packed in the kitchen. She looked away when he turned around and started to walk slowly towards her. On instinct she shoved her hands in her pockets, as if she hadn't spent a majority of the morning in his presence.
"All set?" Finn asked with a small smile on his face.
Rachel nodded her response. "You'll have to follow us, um...it's right around the corner from the school, in case we get separated..."
Finn nodded. "Sounds like a plan. You lead the way," he smiled softly. She nodded with the smallest hint of a smile, before turning around and walking to the truck to ride with her dad.
Rachel fell in love with the new apartment the moment she had seen the pictures in Emma's office. But the pictures didn't even do the small but cheery space any justice. Compared to the old place, the tiny, two bedroom apartment was bright and airy. And what she had fallen for the most was the beautiful window that lined one wall of the rectangle shaped living room. She had plans for curtains and blinds once she was well enough to get back on her feet. There was even a little ledge on the outside that she hoped she could put a little planter on. The apartment was painted cheery colours, colours and hues in another life she would have chosen for herself. The landlord had apologized at the first viewing - as the previous tenants hadn't been out long enough for them to consider repainting. But the moment she had stepped in, she had felt it in her bones that this was right for her. And the paint was part of that. The kitchen, small in shape was painted a minty green. It reminded her eerily of the colour of her bedroom back in her apartment in Los Angeles, a place she hadn't thought of in a long time. The living room, was a dusty pink that Ayla had loved the moment she had seen it. She was in love with the space.
When they pulled up to the new apartment building, Rachel smiled when she saw her mom sitting on the small set of steps outside of the building. Ione curled beside her while Ayla danced around in the very tiny bit of snow that was on the ground. She had quick visions of the future, of the summer time and the girls being able to play out here...or at the playground that the landlord promised was around the back. But she was brought back to the now, when she heard the door to the truck behind them slam closed. She blinked and shook her head, before getting out of the rental truck herself.
The girls ascended on her the moment her feet were firmly on the sidewalk.
"Mommy, we got to have chocolate milk with breakfast!" Ayla squealed. "And we had hash browns. They were so yummy!" she giggled. But her voice got quieter when she noticed Finn was walking towards them. "Mommy, what's Mr. Hudson doing here?" she asked softly.
Rachel smiled softly. "He's going to help us bring all of our things up to the new apartment, isn't that nice?"
Ayla sighed and looked over at him again. "Yeah. Papa can't carry it all by himself!" she giggled.
Rachel sighed with relief and gently pushed her hair back from her face. "What do you say we get started, huh? The faster we get everything upstairs the faster we can have...pizza!" she exclaimed.
When Rachel looked up she noticed that her Mom had distracted herself by playing with Ione's hair. Ione had a laser focus on the truck behind them. Rachel nibbled her lip before she offered Ione a small smile. She reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out the key, the weight of the silver item just as impressive as it was in the wee hours of the morning. She crossed the few steps that it took her to get to Ione. "Should we go inside?"
Ione nodded and offered Rachel a small smile, while not taking her eyes off her teacher in the distance.
The entire feel of the apartment building was something that Rachel really appreciated. It was clean, airy and well kept. The group ascended the stairs to the second level and once they got to the door of their second level apartment, Rachel felt herself release a breath. 2A. Her new home.
"Come on Mommy, open it!" Ayla squealed. "I want to see my room again!"
Rachel nodded slowly and pushed the silver key into the lock and turned it. When the door swung open, Ayla carefully rushed around Rachel and made her way inside. Rachel's heart beat quite quickly in her chest as she watched Ayla stand in the middle of the room, spinning around with her arms out. The giggle that she slipped from her lips was enough to make Rachel's cheeks warm. She had had much the same reaction last night to the bright open space. Ione followed behind Rachel inside and put down the bag of her things from the hotel she had been holding. She walked slowly up to Rachel's side and wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned her head into her side. Rachel instinctively wrapped an arm around her.
Rachel heard shuffling from behind her, and turned around to find her parents and Mr. Hudson standing behind her. She smiled softly. She knew her Mom had seen it yesterday, her Dads eyes moved quickly around the space and she waited with baited breath to hear what he thought.
"It's nice," he confirmed.
"Papa, you haven't even seen the half of it!" Ayla exclaimed. "Our room is so pretty! Right Ione?" she laughed as she clapped her hands.
Ione nodded. "It's purple," she whispered. Rachel noticed Ione's eyes search across the room and connected with Mr. Hudson's for a brief second before she looked up at Rachel. She pulled her a little closer. Ione had been so excited last night to see their bedroom was painted her favourite colour already. Ayla had been too enamored with the living room colour to care.
She was left alone soon after, Shelby had coerced the girls into helping with the lighter items that were from their bedroom, like toys, clothes and pillows. Rachel stood in the middle of her own bedroom as she watched from the window as they started to empty the rental truck first. Her heart pounded as she watched boxes come out of the truck one by one, and the group start back towards the apartment. She turned away from the window sill when they were out of her view, but she still took a moment in the room by herself. She felt like she had to pinch herself. This was happening.
The clamor of the girls filled the apartment, and she left the safety of her bedroom to find their windblown and smiley faces looking at her, arms laden with a box each for their bedroom.
"We brought the toys Mommy," Ayla giggled.
"Well, that is the most important thing on the truck, now isn't it?" she smiled as she watched Ayla march towards the girls bedroom. She followed her in to make sure she placed the box neatly so they could fit all the furniture.
"I've missed my toys, Mommy," she sighed as she used her hand to push her fly away hair from her face.
Rachel sighed quietly. "I know. But you're reunited now."
"And it feels so good!" Ayla giggled as Ione trudged in and put her box on top of Ayla's.
"Mr. Hudson is bringing up my bed first," Ione announced. "Where should we put it Mommy?" Her question was followed by the sounds of footsteps coming in to the apartment. Rachel turned to look at Ione who was staring back at her.
"Well, where do you want to put it?" she asked. She was trying to give Ione as much control over the situation, especially her bedroom, as she could. She only hoped it relieved some of her fear.
"I think right here," Ione smiled, gesturing to the wall that faced the outside. The view from the girls window was the park the landlord had promised was behind the building. It was surrounded by trees, and to Rachel seemed inviting and peaceful. She could see why Ione would choose this side. The room was an odd shape, but it allowed for different furniture arrangements.
"That sounds good to me, if that's what you want."
Ione nodded her head.
Footsteps came closer to them, and Rachel turned in time to see Finn standing in the doorway with Ione's headboard in his hands.
"I have one headboard," Finn smiled.
"You can just put it down," Rachel offered. She knew it was kind of heavy. "We'll put it in place."
Finn slightly shook his head. "Where is it going?" he asked.
Ione spoke up. "Right here Mr. Hudson!" she giggled, a sound that Rachel wasn't too familiar with coming from Ione as of late. "My bed is going against here," she gestured.
"Good spot!" he encouraged. "I'll be back with the rest of it, and we can put it together later, sound good?"
Ione nodded enthusiastically. "I'll come help get more stuff. Come on Ayla."
Rachel watched as the girls followed Finn out of the bedroom and eventually down the stairs. She blinked a few times to clear the utter amazement from her features before she followed the sounds of her parents voices to the kitchen.
As the apartment started to fill up with her and the girls personal belongings, it became more and more real to Rachel that this was happening. No more hospitals, no more hotel suites. This was going to be her home. Surrounded by her and the girls things, the reality truly sunk in. She stood in her bedroom unpacking a box of her trinkets and mementos as the sounds of giggling flooded in from across the hall. Her parents had left after the rental truck was empty, as it had to be back by the end of the day. There had been a few tears, but as they weren't leaving until tomorrow night - Rachel knew the explosion of emotion on either end was coming. She put down the photo album she had just pulled out of a box and set it aside. She wandered through the maze of boxes on her floor and headed out to see what was so funny.
She stood outside the girls room, and clutched the door frame. Rachel tried to hold in her laugh as she watched Ayla emphatically make her American Doll dance in front of Finn and Ione. She noted the wrench clutched in Finn's hand, and the half constructed bed beside them - they were obviously trying to put together beds and she felt touched for a moment as laughter sprung from Finn's lips. In her haze, she had missed Ayla exclaiming the punch line to her song or joke, and now all that was left was the flailing arms and the American doll falling to the floor with a clunk. Ayla gave a horrified look as both Ione and Finn laughed, and Rachel could barely keep back her own laugh. The trio turned around and looked at her.
"Mommy, you missed the story!" Ayla giggled. Finn put down the wrench and adjusted himself to sit more cross legged on the ground.
"It must have been a good one, I could hear you guys laughing from across the hall..." she smiled.
Ione nodded, her own small smile on her lips. "It was pretty funny."
"Mr. Hudson hit his hand on the edge of Ione's bed and he made a funny face," Ayla stated. She started to laugh once again.
"So that's what made Ayla reenact with her doll," Ione laughed. "But Mr. Hudson didn't fall down like the doll did," she shook her head. "That was just Ayla being Ayla..."
Rachel laughed and walked into the room further. She moved to stand over Ione and ran her fingers through the tail ends of her ponytail. Ione looked up at her with a small smile.
"What do you say we take a break from bed building, and our re-enactments of dramatic falls, to order some pizza, hmm?" Rachel asked quietly.
"Can we get cheesy bread too Mommy?" Ayla asked with a grin. She turned to look at Finn. "Do you like cheesy bread Mr. Hudson?"
Rachel watched as Finn bopped Ayla on the nose with a smile before he stood up. "I happen to love cheesy bread. I would like to finish putting these beds together though..."
Rachel smiled a little. "You don't have to. You didn't have to start putting them together..." she shuffled her foot along the carpet a little bit.
Finn shrugged, and Rachel could feel the girls with their eyes on them.
"It's no problem. I've had some pretty good helpers," he winked. Rachel couldn't help but look back at the girls and offered them a wink of her own.
"They're pretty good at helping. I'll let you guys finish, in here I guess, as I go order the pizza..."
"And cheesy bread!" Ayla reminded.
Rachel laughed. "And cheesy bread. Is there something you like on your pizza, Finn? These girls are big fans of pepperoni and green olives."
"That sounds great, I love some green olives and pepperoni," he smiled. "Thanks Rachel."
She nodded. "I should be the one thanking you, Finn," she smiled and squared her shoulders as much as she could before she walked out of the girls room.
The laughter that started up once she hit the kitchen was contagious. Rachel smiled as she moved through the apartment to fish out her new cell phone from her purse. Her parents had insisted on getting her one last night when they made a late night trip to Target. She had relented only when she saw the tears that built in her mother's eyes. Her old phone had been lost, she honestly assumed Brody had taken it. Even thinking his name made her throat burn with rising bile. But she pushed the feeling away and allowed her body to drop on the small loveseat she had been able to salvage from the old apartment. She flipped through her internet until came across a pizza place she was familiar with in the area. Rachel placed the order quickly, adding in a package of cinnamon sticks for the girls with extra icing as a surprise. When it was finished, she put the phone back and just took in the apartment for a moment.
Her mom and dad had worked furiously to hang up the photos and get the living room in working order. Things were still in boxes, things that they had deemed unnecessary but she had insisted on getting the photos hung up. Photos made the apartment feel more like a home.
"Mommy!" she heard as she was starting to focus on the images that seemed to represent a life time ago. "Mommy, come see! Mr. Hudson got our beds all done!"
She turned on her heels and walked the few steps to the bedrooms, to see what all the fuss was about.
The apartment was warm. As the four of them sat around the small dining room table munching on the pizza and cheesy bread, Rachel allowed the warmth of the environment to wrap around her. Ayla chatted non-stop since they sat down at the small well worn table. Normally she would deeply regret the glass of pink lemonade she had poured her with her slice of pizza, but seeing the way Finn sent the same silliness back her way allowed the anxiety she usually had when things got rowdy to melt away.
She watched with a curious eye the way the girls responded to Finn. It was hard to believe, from her experience, that Ione could laugh the way she was in that moment. As Finn told a joke that to anyone over the age of like 12 would find corny, Ione smiled wide and laughed with one that nearly met her eyes. But when the joke ended and the laughter subsided she seemed to revert back to the reserved little girl she was on most days. But she still kept a firm eye on him, like she was cautious, like she was concerned that if she closed her eyes he would be gone. She could see the thoughts roam her mind, her eyes wondering and critical. Rachel felt the pain slice under her skin as she tried to think about how she was ever going to help her change that.
"Mommy, I'm all done," Ayla announced as she finished off her cheesy bread piece. "Can I be excused please?"
Rachel smiled and nodded as she chewed her own piece. "Of course, just wash your hands first! I don't want you to get your room all messy."
"I know! Papa got me the soap I like!" she laughed as she popped off her chair and headed to the bathroom. Rachel couldn't contain her smile as she watched Ayla take off for the bathroom.
"It smells like bubblegum," Ione commented as she took a bite of her cheesy bread. "She made Papa buy it the other day at Target!" she swallowed her bite. "She said she couldn't wash her hands with anything else." She pulled a serious face.
Finn laughed. He reached for his glass of soda and took a slow sip, before fixing his gaze across the table for just the briefest of moments.
"I'm done too," Ione announced. "Can I go too? I want to find my book that I was reading..."
"Of course sweet girl, maybe you can make sure your sister isn't making a big mess in there," Rachel smiled as she nodded. Ione slid off the chair and took her plate into the kitchen, leaving Finn and Rachel alone.
Rachel watched as Ione retreated towards the bedrooms, and soon giggles filled the air. A smile slid over her features, as an air of contentment settle on her shoulders.
"Can I get you anything else?" she asked quietly. She shook her head a little bit to clear herself of the haze. "Do you need another drink? I think my parents picked up some beer and it's in the fridge..." she stumbled through her words. "I did get the cinnamon sticks but I can save them for later, since the girls seem to be eager to..."
"I'm fine, Rachel," he smiled. "This has been great, really." She offered him a small smile before pushing back in her own chair. She stood up slowly, her body was aching from all the physical work she had put in today.
She walked into the small kitchen, intent on getting herself another piece of cheesy bread. Rachel reached into the box and took one of the remaining pieces out and took a healthy bite. She indulged in the taste for a minute as she leaned against the counter. The small clock that she had set on the counter earlier clicked with the passage of each second that floated past. She tried not to flinch when she heard a few jumps and clamours from the girls room, held herself back from running in to make sure everything was okay. Everything was okay, because they were okay.
Rachel was pulled from her thoughts when the sound of a clearing throat came from behind her. She turned around slowly to find him standing there, his plate and glass from the table in his hand. She gave him a soft smile.
"Finished?" she whispered with a cock of her head.
"I am," he smiled. "I haven't had pizza that good in awhile. Usually the place around the corner from my apartment burns the heck out of the crust. Pretty disappointing when you want some pizza. Tastes like cardboard." He screwed up his face at the thought of cardboard pizza.
She chuckled a little bit at the face he made just then. A silence came over them, one that was comfortable with an air of the untouchable. Rachel leaned her elbows against the counter as she tried not to cast her eyes on him too often.
She had a hard time believing, still, that there were good people in this world. Her experiences with strangers and loved ones had not always been shrouded in the kind of kindness Finn had shown both her and her girls. Sure, there was a time when she was younger that she would have believed in the goodness of people, had know her parents would have her back and aside from the latter she was sure that her belief in kindness and goodness would come again with work and time.
"I guess I should go," he started after a few minutes, once he had put down the dishes he had been carrying. "The truck has an offer that expires at midnight," he winked. He stuck his hands in his pockets and hooked his thumbs around his belt loops.
"Right, you borrowed it..." her voice dropped an octave. She nodded and moved her arms to wrap around her midsection. "Thank you."
"You've already said that a few times today, you know that right?" he asked as he gently nudged her in a friendly way. He chuckled as they moved to the front door of the apartment.
She shrugged, coming a stop a few steps behind him. Rachel stood there for a moment as Finn went through the motions of putting on the shoes he had worn. When he stood upright, he gave her a small smile. The girls laughter wafted in from the bedroom, as a silence that was not unfamiliar permeated the air.
"I think you're really brave, you know," he whispered once he was upright. His voice was quiet, so quiet that she almost missed the admission.
She shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself tighter, tugging on the edges of the sweater she was wearing. She slowly dragged her eyes to look at him. Finn was staring back at her, a soft look on his features. She bit her lip slowly as she looked back down at her feet. She felt self conscious in that moment, of the knee brace - the cast on her arm. And if anything else, she felt the furthest thing from brave. She couldn't control the shrug that rose over her shoulders. But the words themselves touched her.
"Thank you," she whispered. She fidgeted with her sweater as a slow chuckle slipped from her lips. She really had been saying that a lot today, to him especially. "That," she paused to clear her throat. "That means more than you know," she whispered.
"It's the truth," he sighed. He grabbed his coat which he had hung up in the closet after they had finished hauling in everything. "I guess I'll see you guys on Monday?" he questioned.
"They'll be there," she smiled. "I should get them to say goodbye. Ione! Ayla!"
"Do you want me to bring them home?" he blurted as the girls scrambled to the front door.
"What? I can't ask you to do that..." she stammered as Ione and Ayla joined her at the front. Rachel felt Ione wrap her arms around her waist, and she wrapped her around her in return.
"I offered. It's going to be cold the next few days. I don't mind...it's on my way home," he shrugged, he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
Rachel felt Ione clutch around her waist, but she didn't respond. "Can I let you know on Monday?" she whispered.
All Finn could do was nod. "No problem."
Rachel offered him a small smile before she let out a breath. "Now, girls what do we say to Finn for helping us move everything?"
"Thank you Finn," they both said in unison. Rachel brushed her fingers through the ends of Ione's ponytail.
"I'll see you guys on Monday," he smiled with a nod to his head.
Finn pulled the truck up into his parents driveway and cut the engine. He sighed as he closed his eyes for a second. The clock on the truck's dashboard read 7:00pm, and he had promised his parents he would have it back an hour ago. He was concerned that they hadn't started to text him obsessively. He climbed out of the truck, making sure to collect his cell phone charger and the coffee cup he had purchased this morning so he could throw it away. The front porch light went on at the top of the long driveway as he slammed the door and he tiredly groaned. He knew someone was watching him from the entry way, he just didn't know who it was.
He climbed up the long pathway to the door as an exhaustion from the days events sank into his bones.
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he heard. When he made it up to the front porch of his parents house, he found his Mom standing in the doorway.
"Hi Mom," he sighed. "Sorry I'm late."
Carole smiled. When he reached her, Finn felt her place a hand on his arm. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't starting to get worried..." she commented. Finn walked into the house and started to shrug off his coat.
"They wanted me to stay for dinner," he smiled. "She ordered pizza and cheesy bread..."
"And we all know how much you can't pass that up," Carole laughed. "Come on back, say hi to Burt. Do you want something to drink?"
Finn shrugged as he followed his mother through the house. He nodded to his stepfather who was sitting off in the den watching sports highlights.
"Did you replace the gas?" he called as he looked up from the screen. "Carole, can I get another one of those cookies please?"
"Yeah Burt, I did," he sighed.
"In a second, you've already had four," Carole sighed as she rolled her eyes. "They are heart healthy but that doesn't mean we have to eat them all tonight," she laughed. "One second sweetheart. There's beer and soda in the fridge, grab whatever you want..."
Finn sighed. He walked further into his parents spacious kitchen. He swung open the fridge door and screwed up his nose when he saw that there was only light or alcohol free beer in the door.
"Mom," he sighed. He reached in and grabbed a Miller Light before he let the door close behind him. He popped the cap and tossed it in the sink behind him.
"You're not in high school anymore," she sighed. She walked over to the sink and fished out the cap. "It was annoying then, and it's even more annoying now that you're a grown man," she chuckled as she tossed the beer cap away.