A/N: Here's the full chapter, folks. Apologies for the lateness, but hopefully the content will make up for that! Erm, yes…warnings for sex.
Anyway, enjoy.
And I was strong, strong in the sun,
I thought I'd see when day is done,
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue,
Oh, so weak in this need for you.
Shikamaru stared at the lounge room wall and sighed. Ever since Neji had left that afternoon, he had been unable to concentrate on anything – his mind just kept replaying Neji's words over and over again. He had been thinking furiously of ways he could convince Neji, but even he found himself defeated by this problem. There was nothing for it: he needed an expert. He went round to Ino's.
"Shikamaru?" Ino said, opening the door.
"Ah, hi, Ino," Shikamaru said, suddenly a bit embarrassed, "Um…are you busy at the moment? I kind of need some advice." Ino's eyebrows shot up and she actually took a step back from the doorway.
"What on earth about?" she asked suspiciously, "You've never asked me for advice in your entire life." Shikamaru sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"I just figured that this was more your line of expertise rather than Chouji's," he said pointedly, hoping she got the hint. She did – her mouth opened slightly and it appeared as though she was fighting down a smirk.
"Well, in that case…" Ino stepped back to let him in.
'Sit down, sit down," she said, gesturing at the couch. Shikamaru sat, wondering what had possibly possessed him to do this.
"Tell Ino all about your troubles," she said, making herself comfortable in the chair opposite him. Shikamaru took a deep breath, and fought a rising blush with all his might.
"Maa…Ok, say I have this…friend," Shikamaru said, deciding that hypothetical was probably the best route in this situation. Ino arched an elegant eyebrow.
"A friend," she repeated, a tad sceptically.
"Well, a friend that I am…interested in."
"Ok," she said, humouring him, "Is this 'friend' interested in you?"
"…I think so," Shikamaru replied, "But there is this issue that's stopping anything from…happening." Ino smirked.
"I'm not sure I'm the one to ask for help with erection problems, Shikamaru," she said. Shikamaru felt a jolt of annoyance, and he jumped up from the couch.
"If you're not going to take this seriously, then I'm going," he said. Ino threw her hands up innocently, surprised at Shikamaru's reaction.
"Ok, ok!" she said, genuinely taken aback, "I'm sorry. I'll take this seriously – sit down. Please." Shikamaru regarded her for a few moments, but decided that her face had something sincere in it, so he sat again.
"So," Ino resumed, "You have this friend, but there's a problem that's keeping you from being…together –"
"– in a completely non-sexual way –"
"Right. So, what's the problem?" Shikamaru shifted on the couch, and frowned.
"This friend…well, they are very dedicated to their job as a, uh, law enforcer –"
"Shikamaru, cut the crap, I know you're talking about Neji." Shikamaru looked up at the sound of Neji's name, and sighed, suddenly feeling deflated and tired and a little bit lost.
"Ino," he said weakly, hating himself for sounding so pathetic, "I really care about him. I mean, we haven't known each other for long, but I want to help him. I want to show him that life isn't always about pride or loyalty or…I don't know, about being controlled by other people. I just…" Shikamaru trailed off, looking at the floor. Ino got up and sat down next to him, a comforting hand landing delicately on his shoulder.
"Shikamaru," she said quietly, in a tone that said she had been thinking about this for a while, "Maybe…. maybe it's just not going to work out. Neji is never going to stop being a Hyuuga. He's never going to stop being a shinobi, a killer. And you can't give him back his childhood, or his father."
"I know that, Ino," Shikamaru snapped, hating her words because they were true. She hesitated for a moment, but then continued.
"What if…well, what if you gave Neji a chance to let go, just for one night? What if you show him all the things you said you wanted to, just one time, and then…let it go?" Shikamaru frowned and opened his mouth to protest, but Ino cut him off.
"Maybe one night is the best it's going to get."
Silence settled over the two of them as Shikamaru went over in his mind what Ino had said. Part of him – a very small, rarely seen part of him – was screaming, telling him that Neji would come to him out of his own free will, in time. But then there was another, larger, more rational part of him that was looking at Neji and thinking about Ino's words and putting the two together. After a while, Shikamaru felt Ino move her hand away.
"I'm sorry, Shikamaru," she said quietly, frankly, "But I don't want to see you chasing after something that will never happen. I don't want to see you get hurt – I'm just trying to look out for you, as your friend."
Shikamaru stood up slowly, and placed a hand on top of Ino's head affectionately.
"Yeah," he murmured, "I know. Thank you, Ino."
Shikamaru drew out the walk from Ino's to his apartment, ambling along and not really paying any attention to where he was going. His mind, which had been thinking up solutions and ideas so furiously that afternoon, was oddly fuzzy. Ino's words, as blunt as they had been, were beginning to make more and more sense to Shikamaru. He and Neji had known each other properly for a handful of months – he wasn't prepared to put his way of life, his reputation at risk for some person he barely knew… was he?
Shikamaru shook his head violently, expelling any confusion he had in his mind. If he analysed it objectively, one night would be the best solution for both of them – Neji could have a night of freedom, and could then go back to what was expected of him. And Shikamaru…well, Shikamaru would just go back to how he had been before everything had started. Shikamaru suppressed the nervous feeling in his stomach as he remembered the ferocity of the emotions from the night after Chouji's. He would go to Neji's now, get this over and done with, and then get on with his life.
On his way to Neji's apartment, Shikamaru stopped by a bar and had a few shots of sake, the warm liquid sliding down his throat comfortingly and helping to calm his nerves.
He turned down Neji's street and stopped in front of the door like a condemned man, taking a deep breath before knocking gently. The door opened a few moments later, and Neji stuck his head out.
"Shikamaru?" he said, frowning slightly, "What are you doin – mmphf!"
Shikamaru grabbed the front of Neji's shirt and pulled them together, kissing him passionately. Neji seemed shocked, his lips frozen and unresponsive against Shikamaru's. Shikamaru pulled away slightly, and started pushing Neji back into the apartment.
"Just one night," Shikamaru murmured, reaching back to undo Neji's hair from its tie, "That's all I'll need." He kissed Neji again before he could respond, threading his fingers through silky hair.
"What?" Neji whispered against his lips, pushing him away slightly, "Shikamaru, wait!" He pushed him away fully, opening his mouth to speak, but was cut off again by Shikamaru placing his hand on Neji's mouth.
"Don't talk," Shikamaru said, pushing Neji into the apartment and shutting the door, "It's too troublesome." They stayed in that position for a few moments, Neji breathing heavily against Shikamaru's hand, their eyes locked in a silent argument.
"One night," Shikamaru said, "Then it's over."
There was a pause, then Neji slowly pulled Shikamaru's hand away, muttering something that Shikamaru didn't quite understand.
"You take what you get, right?"
Then he leant down and kissed Shikamaru hard and open-mouthed, making Shikamaru's knees buckle. All the emotions from the past few months and the anticipation of what was to come hit Shikamaru hard, and he found himself clinging to Neji almost desperately.
"Do you know how long I've wanted this, Neji?" Shikamaru breathed as Neji left a trail of light kisses down his neck. Neji just chuckled, and continued his path downwards. Shikamaru's breath hitched, and he grabbed Neji's chin and pulled it up so it was level with his own.
"Tell me I'm not the only one," Shikamaru growled, making Neji's eyes widen in surprise.
"You're surprisingly lively tonight," Neji commented as he moved back to pull off his own shirt, his expression appearing to Shikamaru as one of infinite amusement. Not quite the response he was looking for, Shikamaru wound a hand into Neji's hair and pulled hard.
"Seeing as you don't know me that well," he breathed into Neji's ear, "You obviously don't know that when it comes to important things, I stop the lazy thing. Sex is one of those important things." Much to Shikamaru's annoyance, Neji merely chuckled again and started pulling off Shikamaru's shirt. Shikamaru grabbed his hand and stopped him.
"Tell me I'm not the only one who wants this!" he said, shivering slightly as Neji pulled his hands free of Shikamaru's and placed them on Shikamaru's cheeks.
"You're not the only one who wants this," Neji said slowly and surely, his blank eyes boring into Shikamaru's dark ones. Shikamaru felt a spike of desire in his stomach as he realised that this was really going to happen. Neji's face was open and sensual, everything Shikamaru could have hoped for – but he also realised that this meant Neji didn't want anything more to happen between them. Shikamaru's mouth twisted into a bittersweet smirk as he pushed Neji away to pull of his own shirt. He felt Neji's eyes rake his body, and he squashed all the resentful feelings deep down until all he was left with was desire. Desire with no strings attached.
"Bedroom," Neji grunted. Shikamaru just managed to contain himself until they were inside Neji's bedroom, where he pushed the other man onto the bed and began to explore Neji's body. If this was to be their only night together, then Shikamaru wasn't going to let Neji be in control – he wanted to map every part of Neji's body so that it would be ingrained into his memory forever.
"Nnng, Shikamaru," Neji panted as Shikamaru's hands travelled up and down Neji's thighs lightly. Shikamaru smirked.
"Who knew that Hyuuga Neji could be reduced to such monosyllabic talk?" Shikamaru teased as he palmed Neji's erection through his trousers, "Could it be that you are actually an impostor Hyuuga?" Neji growled and pulled Shikamaru down for a hard kiss.
"Shut up, Nara," he said, smirking, when they came up for air, "It's like you said – talking is troublesome."
"Fine," Shikamaru replied, freeing his own hair from its tie so that it tickled his back pleasantly. Then, without a word, he got up from the bed, ignoring Neji's confused "what?", and turned the lights off. He then quickly made the hand signs for his shadow jutsu, which wound lightly around both of Neji's wrists, effectively holding him in place. Through the darkness, Shikamaru could practically feel Neji's facial expression.
"God, Nara," Neji said in an impressed tone, "How have you been hiding this kinky side from everyone for so long?" Shikamaru smiled, and climbed back onto the bed.
"It helps that I don't have sex with everyone in Konoha," he whispered as he ran a calloused thumb over Neji's nipple, "That way, my secret is safe." Neji chuckled softly, his chest lifting up to meet Shikamaru's hands.
"Fucking kinky bastard," he murmured, grinding his hips upwards meaningfully. Shikamaru just tightened his shadow's hold on Neji's wrists, and started working on Neji's pants.
"Lift your hips up," he ordered, and felt a thrill of pleasure when Neji obliged immediately. He pulled Neji's pants off, pausing momentarily as Neji's erection was freed.
'What's the matter, Nara?" Neji asked, panting, "Like what you see?" Shikamaru gave one experimental stroke of Neji's cock, relishing the sound that Neji made.
"You are much too coherent for someone who is completely naked and bound to a bed," Shikamaru commented, licking the tip of Neji's erection lightly and watching as Neji squirmed underneath him.
"Who says that you – mmm – get to be in control?" Neji asked, his hands fisting involuntarily, watching as Shikamaru's eyes glinted slightly in the moonlight.
"I do," Shikamaru said simply, and then engulfed Neji's cock completely. Neji gasped in surprise, his hips bucking up of their own accord. Shikamaru just hummed absently, and moved a hand so that it was grasping the base of Neji's erection. He was a man on a mission – he wanted to illicit as many different sounds from Neji as he could in one night.
Following that train of thought, he moved his other hand slowly up Neji's body to his mouth, where he gently pushed a finger between Neji's lips. Neji got the idea immediately, and began sucking on Shikamaru's finger enthusiastically, the sounds he was making going straight to Shikamaru's already hard cock. After a few moments, Shikamaru removed his finger and positioned it in front of Neji's entrance. He circled it a few times before probing gently, smirking at Neji's moan.
'Fuck, Shikamaru," Neji panted as Shikamaru added another finger, "I'm not going to last if you keep this up." Rather reluctantly, Shikamaru released Neji's erection with a light kiss to its tip. He then pushed a third finger into Neji, watching as his face contorted with pleasure.
"Let – nng – let my wrists go," Neji muttered, his eyes opening to look at Shikamaru intently. Shikamaru took a deep breath to calm his racing heart.
"Why should I?" he managed to ask, pausing momentarily in his ministrations. Neji just looked down at him, smirking, his face covered in a sheen of sweat.
"I want to touch you," Neji said, which was all the persuasion Shikamaru needed. He quickly released the jutsu, almost moaning in pleasure as Neji's hands started making their way around Shikamaru's body. Neji's legs came up around Shikamaru's waist, and he pushed Shikamaru closer towards him so that they were grinding together.
"Pants off, now," Neji growled, suddenly realising that Shikamaru was still clothed from the waist down. Shikamaru moved back and sat down on the end of the bed, so that he could pull off his own pants, forcing down any feelings of self-consciousness as he felt Neji's eyes on him.
"Even in the dark, Nara, you are a very attractive man," Neji murmured as he sat up on the bed, placing light kisses across Shikamaru's back, "I could never think straight during our shoji games – no wonder why you always won." Shikamaru closed his eyes momentarily, quickly squashing the emotions that rose to choke up his throat. Don't think, he told himself sternly, don't think – just feel.
"You flatter me," Shikamaru said modestly, before turning around and kissing Neji deeply. He gasped into Neji's mouth as he felt a warm hand encircle his own erection and start to move up and down.
"I tell the truth, Shikamaru," Neji whispered against Shikamaru's mouth.
"Shut up," Shikamaru growled, pushing Neji onto the bed once more, "Lube?"
"Top draw on the right," Neji said, his eyes strangely bright in the half-light. Shikamaru leaned forward and rummaged around in the draw of the bedside table, extracting a small bottle of lube. He popped open the lid and was about to squeeze some out when Neji took it from him.
"Let me," he breathed, looking up to Shikamaru's face for confirmation. Shikamaru didn't trust his voice, so he simply nodded once, his eyes sliding closed as he felt the cool substance being applied onto his erection. When Neji had finished, Shikamaru opened his eyes again and saw that Neji had spread his legs open wide for him, making him pause in sheer attraction for the other man. Neji frowned, biting his lip slightly.
"Hurry up, Shikamaru," he said, wrapping his legs around Shikamaru's waist to urge him on. Not needing to be told twice, Shikamaru entered Neji slowly, waiting for Neji to get used to him once he was fully in before starting to thrust lightly.
"Ah!" Neji cried, leaning up to kiss Shikamaru wetly, "Faster!" Shikamaru obliged willingly, making his thrusts deeper and faster, stroking Neji's erection in time with his thrusts. Neji writhed underneath him, his hand clenching at the sheets helplessly, and just from looking at him Shikamaru felt a pre-orgasm tingle that started from his groin and pooled out across his body.
"Fuck, Neji," Shikamaru groaned as he increased his rhythm, hitting Neji's prostate with each thrust. He felt the heat in his groin coil tightly just as Neji breathed out, "I'm going to come", and they orgasmed together, so intensely that Shikamaru's eyes blurred and his toes curled almost painfully.
Shikamaru collapsed onto the bed, his hands still shaking, and he and Neji lay there for a few minutes as they caught their breath. After a while, Neji sat up and rummaged around in the draw, before pulling out a towel and cleaning himself up. He then threw the towel at Shikamaru, who caught it and did the same. Then Neji lay down on his side and looked at Shikamaru questioningly.
"What now?" he asked softly, his face carefully blank. Shikamaru watched Neji's face searchingly for a few moments before moving onto his back and looking up at the ceiling.
"Now it's over," Shikamaru said bluntly, once again fighting down all the bitter emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him in his post-orgasmic state.
"Over," he heard Neji echo, but he couldn't detect any sort of emotion in his voice. A dreadful, overwhelming weight was pressing against his chest, and he suddenly realised exactly why this had been a bad idea. He got up suddenly and searched around for his clothes, pulling his pants on quickly.
"Shikamaru –" Neji began, but stopped almost as soon as he had started, as if realising that there was nothing he could say. Shikamaru didn't even bother to turn around as he said "bye", picking up his shirt and leaving the house before he said something really stupid. The air outside was cold and there was a bitter taste in Shikamaru's mouth – he spent the entire walk home cursing Ino and her damn advice. When he arrived at his apartment, he stripped off all his clothes and fell into bed, pulling the covers up over his head and trying to ignore the burning feeling of shame.