Chapter 5
Booth and Bones had found a thrift shop.
And Booth had instructed Bones to dress the part of a southern belle house wife. He had added quickly "And not the antebellum type."
So she was doing as she instructed and fiddling with the zipper of what she thought was a very girly dress in one of the dressing rooms.
Booth's voice came from outside, "Do all women need to take a decade in the dressing room?"
"If a decade has suddenly been reduced to ten minutes, then yes. Women actually care how they look before they go out into the world." Bones had let Booth pick out his own outfit and she sincerely wondered how he'd done with himself. She threw one last look back at the mirror, shrugged and stepped out of the dressing room.
"BONES!" Booth practically threw himself in front of her, "What are you doing? You don't seriously want to go out in that? Please...put some clothes on!"
"I do have clothes on."
"But but that dress....it's way too....short, and tight and low cut...it's just...not what I had in mind." He was practically shoving her back into the dressing room at this point.
"Oh," she shot back at him, "Like you did any better with your outfit?! You look exactly the same as you do everyday."
"No I don't...I..."
Bones cut him off by tugging a bit on his shirt, "Dress shirt," she tugged on his tie, "tie" she moved down to tug on his pants...
"Hey!" he protested, trying to keep himself from chuckling.
"Dress pants..." she grabbed his belt buckle.
"BONES!"
"Oversized belt buckle with the coat of arms of the United States on it...which was a very good find by the way...and," she straightened herself back up, "dress shoes. The only thing you are missing is the suit jacket."
"Fine!" he conceded, he guessed Bones was right. He couldn't help it though...he was a man of habit and very set in the way of fashion. He scratched the back of his head with a hand.
She sighed, "How about we just pick out each other's outfits and call it fair."
"Under one condition..."
"What?!"
"I get to keep the belt buckle."
"Fine."
After ten minutes of running around the thrift store an putting together outfits for each other Bones and Booth stood next to one another outside the dressing rooms.
Booth looked down at himself in a particularly satisfied manner. Bones had done a good job.
"I had no idea that you had any kind of fashion sense, but apparently you do!"
Booth was dressed in a worn out pair of levis, a white dress shirt and a dark brown leather bomber jacket. Black cowboy hat and boots completed the ensemble, as well as the belt he had picked out.
"Ditto," Brennan shot at him, "Though I would have preferred to be wearing pants."
She was in a sleek and simple Jackie O style black dress, completed by a particularly flamboyant pair of red heels. She looked at Booth and he slowly rotated in a circle, showing her the full extent of her handiwork. God, she'd never seen Booth in tight jeans before...his butt looked so...she stopped herself. Professional thoughts Brennan. PROFESSIONAL.
"This outfit only needs one more thing." Booth said, grinning at her.
She raised her eyebrows at him, "And what's that?"
"THESE!" Booth whipped out a pair of aviators that he had stashed in the front pocket of the bomber and turned to her with a cheshire cat grin on his face. "Now I am really one bad a--"
She rolled her eyes at him, "You are having way too much fun with this. Let's pay for this stuff and get out of here."
He peered down at her. Two tiny Temperances stared back at her from his mirrored lenses.
"We need these."
He reached in the same front pocket he had stashed the glasses in a pulled out three rings.
"An engagement ring and a his and hers wedding band." Brennan stated flatly. She had been hoping that they wouldn't go so far as to wear wedding rings to pull off the disguise. Booth knew how she felt about the institution of marriage.
"Yeah...I know how you feel about the whole thing, but we have to make it believable so..."he quickly picked up Brennan's left hand and slipped both rings on.
"There ya go."
"Yeah.." she said softly, staring hard at the rings on her left hand. She stared at them for a solid 5 seconds before her eyebrows knit in confusion.
She went to turn to Booth but he was already walking toward the counter to pay.
"Booth?"
"Uh-huh."
"How did you know my ring size?"
"Oh...remember I went with you to get that ring that your dad gave you resized for you?"
"That's right!" she snapped out of whatever reverie she had been stuck in an bounced up to join him. He had paid for her things as well and went to open the door for her, she quickly grabbed at it an opened it for herself.
"Now we get to think up names. I think we should call you Edward."
Booth snorted. Edward? "Bones, Edward possibly is one of the most uncool names I have ever heard. If I have to be Edward then you have to be Doris."
Brennan looked at him, "Fine than my name gets to be Isadora...after the great..."
He cut her off, "Can I call you Izzie?"
She grinned at him, "Only if you agree to be Edward."
He threw up his hands, "I can't win with you can I?"
"Nope."
"Will you at least call me Ed?"
"I'll call you Eddy. Izzie and Eddy yech...that sounds cutsie enough for me." Bones commented as Booth herded her into the SUV.
She turned to him when she was snugly secured in her seat, "You know Eddy, you sort of look like Boss Godfrey from Cool Hand Luke."
He turned to look at her, his mouth slightly agape, "Another pop culture reference, Bones? Maybe that rock you were under was a little smaller than I originally thought."
"I fit some time in to relax when I went to school...maybe twice." Bones shot back at him, "And it's Izzie, remember? Not Bones."
"Izzie, right. Well, I supposed we should pull over for some coffee and make up a story."
"I suppose so."
Booth turned the key in the ignition and started the car, then revved the engine.
He looked at Bones and tipped his cowboy hat to her.
"Let's ride!"
With that, they were off in a cloud of dust.