Chapter Thirteen

For the weeks after Ella's arguments with Jeremy and Alaric, she did her best to avoid them both. She interacted with Alaric during class whenever he asked her a question and with Jeremy at work, she was civil and courteous, but that was all. If either of them tried to start a personal conversation she would shut them down and walk away. It wasn't easy, but it was all she could do, anything else was just too hard.

Thankfully today was one of the days when she wouldn't have to deal with either of them. There was no school and she had the day off work. Ella was comfortably curled up on the sofa in the library, reading Moby Dick, and for the first time in months she was comfortable and happy.

"Ella?"

Fighting a sigh, Ella looked up to find her father standing a few feet away from her. He looked concerned and awkward as he hovered, totally unlike Damon.

"Are you okay, Dad?" Ella asked, sitting up.

"I'm fine," he nodded. "I just wanted to talk."

"What about?"

Damon sat on the other end of the sofa, angled toward Ella. "You. I'm worried about you."

"Worried about me? Why would you be worried about me? I'm fine!"

"No…you're not," he sighed. "You think you are, but we both know that you're anything but."

"Dad," Ella shook her head. "I'm really fine. In fact I've never felt better. I'm doing well in school, I have friends, we have her problems but we're still all here for each other."

"Ella, honey, I don't need to be a Fae to know you're still conflicted and that you miss them. I never really liked Jeremy or approved of you and Alaric, but if you're in love with one of them and they make you happy I think you should stop avoiding them and make a decision. They won't wait around forever."

"I don't want them to wait around!" Ella exclaimed. "I let them both go, I want them to move on. Alaric made it clear that Jeremy came first and I am so sick of everyone assuming that my life should revolve around Jeremy! I want to have a life of my own, I want to be my own person. As my father I thought that's what you would want too."

"Of course I do," Damon retorted, frowning. "But I want you to be happy and right now you're not happy. Your pain kills me Ella, you are everything to me. Never in my life did I think I'd love someone as much as I love you. You're my world Ella."

"I love them…" Ella finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "Both of them…and I don't know who I want to be with…what if I make the wrong choice? What if I choose Ric and he rejects me to protect Jeremy or his job? What if I choose Jeremy and he cheats on me again?"

"You can't focus on what ifs Ella," Damon told her. "You can't see the future…well you can…but you know what I mean. If you always think about what could happen you'll never move forward. Please just think about it. Follow your heart…never thought I'd ever say that…but I think it's what you need to do."

"Dad," Ella stopped Damon as he moved to leave. "Thank you. I love you."

"Love you too Kiddo."

Ella was left alone then, she tried to go back to her book, but she couldn't focus. Damon had been right, she couldn't focus on the what ifs. She had to make a decision, she loved them both, but she couldn't be with both of them. Hurting either of them was unimaginable, but maybe that was what needed to happen for all of them to be able to move on.

Not able to sit still any longer, Ella decided to go for a walk. The air was cool and crisp and she felt as if it cleared the cobwebs from her mind. Alaric, Jeremy or neither? Choosing neither of them would hurt them all, but in the long run it may be the better of the options.

Part of her blamed Jeremy for her dilemma. If he had never cheated on her, then she wouldn't be in the position of having to choose between them. She would still be blissfully in love and engaged to Jeremy and ignoring her feelings for Alaric.

Ella walked for a few hours, mulling over her relationships with both Alaric and Jeremy. She tried to let go of her anger and resentment toward Jeremy for cheating on her by kissing Anna. After while she found a small clearing, it was quiet and serene and she decided to meditate on it for a bit. Selene had been teaching her to meditate to hone her empathic ability.

At first it didn't seem to work, Ella was too tense and her mind was too full to find her balance. Soon, however, she felt herself relax and her mind begin to calm. She didn't know how long she sat there, but when she opened her eyes it was dark. Still, she had never seen more clearly in a long time. She now knew exactly what she wanted to do…and who she wanted to be with.

TBC…

A/N: Unfortunately due to personal commitments I do not have the time to make this story as long as I had intended. There will be 2 more chapters after this one, set 10 years in the future and on Ella's wedding day. Does she marry Jeremy, Alaric or someone else entirely? See the poll on my profile page to cast your vote!