Chapter 13: Breaking Rules & Testing Patience

"Sera..." He gulped. "Na..."

She knew.

She knew.

She had already found out what she was saying long ago.

"What's wrong? Khajiit got your tongue?" Serana teased, and she looked so calm and confident and casual and relaxed and all these things that drove the khajiit crazy as he stared. He was paralyzed outside, overwhelmed inside. Too many things raced and roared and ran and hid and danced and sung.

She knew.

"Ja'kal needs to kiss you," he blurted, and the hands neatly folded on his chest pressed down against him with surprising strength. He couldn't budge. "Serana afa, this one will do anything and is not above begging or bribing. Afa; please. Ja'kal ari jer zira na."

"Anything?" Her brow quirked up and she smiled mischievously; it almost did not fit her, and at the same time fit her too well. He didn't care what he's just unleashed upon the world. He needed to kiss her, or he would explode. He nodded passionately, trying with all his might not to latch on to her, for he would surely be swept away by this current that rushed through him stronger than any river he'd ever swam before; he didn't want to accidentally hurt her with his claws.

"Alright. First rule."

Ja'kal's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes. I know how much you love rules." Serana's smile twisted into something truly sadistic. She could be terrifying when she wanted to be. "First rule..."

"Serana-afa." That was her new damn honorific.

She went on as if she hadn't heard him. "I call the shots." She didn't actually expect him to listen, right? "If you touch me, the kiss is off." She was smarter than this.

But try as she might, she would not outsmart this khajiit.

"S'rendarr have mercy," Ja'kal grumbled. He truly wanted to cry and he didn't care how much of a mopey house cat he'd look like.

"Second rule-"

He grabbed her and kissed her.

For a moment, her entire body grew rigid against him. Then her lips moved, slow and curious, and they were soft and sweet and he absolutely adored her smell and taste and by the moons, it was everything his strange dreams foretold. He angled his head and asked for permission as he licked and nipped her bottom lip, taking advantage of the opportunity when her mouth parted and he slipped his tongue inside. He tested how sharp her fangs were and poked the tips of them, igniting a fire in his belly when his tongue stung.

Tiny fingers combed through his fur, and he whined pitifully when Serana broke the kiss. Her smirk danced in the night and she swung her leg over to hover above his hips, sitting up straight and far away from his mouth. She brushed her disheveled hair behind her ears, but it spilled forward and cast shadows upon her face, half her braids in the process of being undone. He reached, and groaned when his gaze snapped to the length of his claws.

"Ja'kal just wants to touch your hair... This is torture."

"Really? Not the four or so bolts that were in you today?"

He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "This one does not remember after the first, and this is still worse. Do you have a knife? Ja'kal will pare his claws right now."

Serana's eyes widened, and whether she meant to torment him even more or not, she'd finally sat on his hips. Her rump was near a most special place for Ja'kal, and he tried to wriggle downwards so that she was at least a few more inches away. Serana seemed none the wiser, and was fixated on his claws instead. "You're going to cut them all off just to touch my hair?" She shrugged when he nodded, and an amused smile danced upon her lips as she reached behind her hip to unsheathe her dagger.

Impatient, Ja'kal only pared off the claws of one hand, tossing her dagger aside and smirking when she laughed. He motioned for her to come closer, and she propped her hands on each side of his head as she leaned down. For some reason, she looked sheepish when he buried his hand in her hair; until he ruffled it and loosened the rest of her braids.

"Hey!"

"What?" Ja'kal fought so very hard to smile innocently. "It will be a mess sooner or later. Better sooner, no?"

Serana rolled her eyes, and blew at her bangs to push her hair out of her eyes. He combed it back and pinned them to the side of her head, taking a moment to study her face and commit every single stunning detail to memory. He smiled affectionately, and every word poured straight from the heart without thought. "Jer oku serush wo silla'a dena jer." A curiosity marveled at that thought, for Serana knew what she was saying earlier, and he cocked his head. "Did you understand that?"

"A little. I've only looked up the words you've used, and the words I... Thought I might someday want to use."

Oh, that made him soar; and she knew.

She knew.

"It means you look beautiful with the stars behind you." Ja'kal gently pulled her down, and was beyond happy that she didn't resist when she came close to his mouth. He angled his head and lifted to meet her, blurting a confession against her lips. "That night in the crypt, you saved Ja'kal's life."

"What?" Serana pulled away, and that distance between them hurt. Literally. He was still sore from his wounds, but he pushed past the pain and his stomach worked harder to lift him higher. He kissed her, indulging, hungering for more. He tore away and took the dagger, paring the rest of his claws as quickly as he could, then reached to sheathe her dagger back in it's scabbard. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her roughly, possessing her mouth with a sense of desperation; he couldn't blink, for he was scared she would disappear.

He couldn't handle that kind of pain and loss all over again.

"Ja'kal," she muffled, trying to break the kiss. He cursed himself; why did he have to be so stupid as to make her curious? He grumbled when she succeeded and narrowed her eyes as she gave him a stern look. "Tell me what you meant, because what I remember of the crypt is the complete opposite."

"It means you saved Ja'kal." He tried to close the distance, but she simply leaned away with a satisfied smirk.

"Oh, no, no. Third rule. You will clarify everything you mean in detail."

Ja'kal groaned, and it was his turn to roll his eyes. He sighed. "It is a long story. Can Ja'kal make it short for now? This one would very much like to kiss you instead."

"I'll negotiate with you just this once; yes, it can be a short story, but it still better clarify exactly what you meant."

There was something terribly wrong in how she seemed to have more fun with this than kissing Ja'kal. He aimed to fix that.

All in one breath, he rushed. "Ja'kal wanted to die."

They stared.

Her expression hadn't changed. She... Knew?

"Serana is not surprised?"

"No." Eventually, a warm smile graced her face. "I'm not." She sat up and reached for his wrists, bringing his hands to the space between their chests. There was another curiosity that marveled her features, and slowly, inch by inch, she slipped her fingers between his. His arms were guided upwards as she lowered, and his stomach kicked into overdrive as he leaned up to meet her. His desperation flared back when her soft lips brushed against his, whispering. "Well, you know, technically... Your wish came true." Her eyes slipped shut, but there was a subtle sly smirk that tugged at the corner of her mouth. Her eyebrow arched the way it would whenever she thought she was oh so clever.

And, oh, she was.

"Now you're living un-death to the fullest."

It took a moment for him to translate and sink in, and laughter roared to life. She kissed him and he tasted her proud smile; and he was just as proud that she had taken something negative and turned it into something positive. She did that to his whole life as if there was nothing to it, changing his world.

"Ja'kal ari jer," he said between bouts of mirth, "Ja'kal ari jer opa, opa zira na." His core quivered, exhausted, and he fell back to the ground with a flop as his lungs starved for air. He tried to gulp and swallow as much as he could in between laughter, but whatever he wrought was stolen away as Serana claimed what was rightfully hers. Her hips shifted back and pressed to his as she lowered, her elbows cradling his head. He groaned and sincerely wished something else would not roar to life as the fire in his belly threatened to turn into a wildfire that would never extinguish.

Ja'kal broke the kiss this time and latched on her hips, burying his face in her hair. He fought to repress the purr bubbling in the back of his throat, and pleasure ebbed behind his eyes as her pelvis unwittingly rubbed against his. He knew she was aware and felt him harden when her entire body tensed.

"Urada, Serana... Ja'kal knows this one should have more control, but it is so hard around you."

"I'm noticing that now," Serana chuckled nervously, though she was still petrified. That fear he smelled before had been stoked in an instant and burned his nose; he was just as afraid of why she was afraid of intimacy. It angered him greatly thinking what could have caused it, and that anger overcame him before it could be tamed.

"Ja'kal will never hurt you; he will kill everybody who had and will try to hurt you."

"Good thing you're immortal, then, because that list is long." The wry joke tumbled out in a whisper. She reluctantly rose to look at him, searching his eyes for answers, it seemed. "I know you'd never hurt me, but... I still need time."

"It is not a fear you are ready to face, yes?"

"I... Yes, I guess so."

"Ja'kal understands. This one will always be here, and when you are ready, we will face it together." He beamed a warm smile, hoping to foster nurture and support and comfort so that she could melt against him again. Time and impatience may have been a terrible combination for him, but he had chosen the path of Serana; she came before him, no matter the matter.

It was more than he dreamed of just to taste her smile against his lips.

x - x - x

Snores and purrs rung in her ear, and her tongue was terribly sore from how hard she'd bitten it to stop herself from smiling every time. The lazy khajiit's limbs had sprawled out all over the pelt, and it was an honest-to-god challenge to stay on his side with how his legs and tail thrashed about. She had to sling her leg over his thigh to contain him; thankfully her pillow, his arm, hadn't moved too much. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, thoroughly entertained by his open mouth and drool making a notably damp path down his fur. As long as he didn't get that drool all over her, she was happy.

And he looked so, so happy too.

Honestly, she was nervous how he'd react for being rejected, sort of. He didn't even seem fazed. In her past experiences, men didn't take kindly to being told 'no'. There were consequences. Consequences she didn't want to pay, and so fooled herself into thinking what was forced upon her was what she wanted.

Here and now, she controlled and chose what she wanted. It was almost strange to have such a liberating power; it was almost just as strange to exercise it on Ja'kal. There was a hunger that gnawed away inside of her, one that she ignored; a hunger to make him submit and bend to her will. She wasn't a fool. She knew where that 'instinct' stemmed from, and she knew herself well enough to know it was one of the things she hadn't wanted.

But, a thinker she was, and she thought of many, many things; and many, many things flushed her cheeks with heat. She'd stolen a look to make sure the khajiit was asleep before she'd let her eyes roam freely, and her gaze often landed on the mysterious bulge centered squarely in between his hips. Oh, she knew nothing of that, nothing at all. She hadn't consumed every detail that demystified the bulge in every salacious book in her hands, of course not. Those books were solely for educational purposes.

Gods, was his... Thing... Actually barbed? Why on Nirn would they be barbed?! The physiological purpose proved to remain more elusive than the dwemers' disappearance.

Those barbs were the fear she truly wasn't ready for. After all this time, she still hadn't processed her shock over it; and if her mind hadn't processed it, there was no way she would allow her body to go ahead and try. Though she fully trusted him in that he wouldn't hurt her, he still would, unintentionally, and she feared where that pain would take her mind back to.

Maybe one day, she could, but that day wasn't today. She knew she would get there one step at a time. After all, the notion of kissing seemed impossible yesterday, and here she was, sleeping directly beside him, sneaking feather-light kisses whenever his head lulled towards her. The sensation still felt abnormal and she wanted to rectify that; she found herself smiling whenever the unruly fur of his chin tickled hers.

Had someone told her she would have been doing any of these things at all, with a khajiit or no, when she'd first awoken from her slumber... She would have considered throttling them with her magic.

Watching him as he slept was proving to be a more enjoyable hobby than reading, and she absentmindedly chewed on her lip as she shifted to lay on him more. She missed how his kisses made her feel; it sounded absolutely cliché, but it was magical, or that was the closest word she could think of to describe the sensations that made her nerves sing. It was like whenever she had thought to charge electricity in her palm. That was what he did throughout her entire body.

She craved it, and so she sought it.

Serana swung her leg over so that she straddled his hips; afraid she was, yes, but there was an undeniable thrill of the... Effect... She wrought from him. Surely this coupling had to be just as strange to the one who had trouble comprehending wishing mornings instead of moons. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that, up until they met each other, he'd probably thought he'd settle with a kind khajiit lass; if he ever settled at all.

But, after all, they were both avid explorers. Perhaps the exotic appealed to him just as much as it appealed to her.

Ja'kal stirred beneath her, and she smirked when his milky blue eyes fluttered awake. "Do oonpal, Ja'kal," she husked, uncaring if it was actually morning or not. As soon as she dared shift down a little, her rump over the mysterious bulge, an exhilarating and almost nauseating rush shot through her when she'd felt his body respond to her. His gaze glazed, and Ja'kal took a deep, shuddering breath, never tearing his eyes away from her.

"Do oonpal, Serana," he purred; the rolled r in her name was so much more pronounced, dancing off his tongue. He looked down where their hips were joined and his whiskers flared, a dark look swept over his eyes as his gaze snapped back up to her. A sinful promise hid behind his smile. "You are playing with fire. Ja'kal is on to you."

"Technically, I'm the one on to you," she teased and smirked when he laughed, rocking her.

"That may be true, but, remember? You cannot outsmart a khajiit. This one knows what game you are trying to play, and Ja'kal will not lose."

"That's some confidence."

Here they went, off on another contest. Now Serana needed to get her priorities straight; she was just as confident that Ja'kal would not mind being blamed for this. She rested her hands on his chest, chilling her fingers to coax them through his fur. His shivers delighted her, sating her curiosity for cause and effect. His tail end sashayed lazily and draped over her calf, but he made no move to move, stretching his arms out as his intense gaze bore into her. In that moment, she felt bare and vulnerable, as if she could see into his thoughts; it was no secret what he was restraining himself from doing. In so little time, thus far, he had proven to be steadfast in his commitments; that tenacity was admirable and endearing.

Now just how strong was his resolve?

"Testing Ja'kal's control, Serana?"

"More like..." She ran her finger down his chest, hooking it on his waistband. She popped off a button, and loved what it did to him. He could posture macho all he wanted.

She saw the screaming in his eyes.

"...Your patience."

Translation

Afa - please

Ari jer (opa) zira na - love you (so) very much

Jer oku serush wo silla'a dena jer - you look beautiful with the stars behind you

Do oonpal - good morning