Tohru smiled back at him and Yuki's breathing eased. That morning he had spun awake from a nightmare where a young Yuki gazed peacefully out the window at the moon, which twinkled benevolently before slowly morphing into Akito's face and leering over the quaking boy. Now mere minutes later seeing Tohru helped. It soothed him.

Returning to school that week Yuki found he was more focused again. His grades slowly climbed once more and he found himself involved in conversations, no longer zoning out. He still sometimes caught himself remembering the burning of his feet with painful clarity, or felt the eerie shivers as Akito washed himself in the shower with him, or the trembling of the child within him as Akito whispered his insults.

He still remembered. He still felt it all.

You are vile. Unlovable. Pathetic and weak. A disgusting abomination. A monster. A freak...

Sometimes he jerked awake in the night with the mantra dancing in his head. Sometimes it would peek up when he was at school, or laughing with Tohru and Kyo.

He still felt it. And he still struggled when its poison coursed through him. But now... he had an anchor. Tohru. She would smile at him, or lightly touch his hand, and he would be lifted from the darkness. He would resurface, sometimes gasping, but always grateful. And her smile would welcome him home.

After school, he would happily help Tohru with the housework. They laughed together as the sheets blew in their faces and wrapped around them as they tried to hang them. Tohru would wash the dishes and carefully pass them to Yuki to dry, which more often than not ended in one or both of them covered in bubbles. When she dusted, Yuki would stand ready with the furniture polish, often losing focus on his task because of his awe of Tohru. Her attention to detail, the small frown in her forehead, the flush in her cheeks, all rendered her absolutely fascinating and endearing to him.

He was enjoying his time spent with Kyo too. They had occasionally sparred in the evenings since Yuki had attacked him, but it was friendly, and Yuki felt they were helping each other, both in their fighting, and as people. He saw how Kyo interacted with Tohru and Shigure, the easy going way he had with people, and he aspired to be like him. When Tohru went to work the two would usually spar until they were exhausted, and then retire to the porch with much needed glasses of lemonade. Then they would often talk, of school and friends, of anything and everything. One evening Kyo told him that Kagura had visited him when he was injured at the main house, and he blushed as he told Yuki they were going to the cinema that weekend. Yuki had smiled, pleased for his friend.

It was a very pleasant pace of life for Yuki. He enjoyed the company of his friends; having fun and learning with them.

Two weeks after he had shared everything with Tohru, Akito summoned Yuki to the main house. Yuki had been expecting it; the knowledge that he would have to return soon had lurked at the back of his mind for some time, like an irksome itch. This time however, Tohru knew the implications of the visit. She watched his face carefully as Shigure tentatively informed Yuki that Akito was sending a car that evening. Yuki, in return, smiled sadly at her.

She found him late that afternoon, sitting on the porch. He was quiet and relaxed, his body almost swaying in the breeze which rustled the trees. She sat with him, taking his hand in both of hers. At length she asked if he was alright, if there was anything she could do, if he had to go. He turned to face her.

"I knew I would have to return. The rat's place is beside the God and Akito... likes to have me close. There's nothing you can do and I wouldn't ask it of you even if there was."

He smiled gently at her. Her fingers rubbed soothing circles. It helped. It made him sound braver than he was, allowed him to steady his voice.

"I have to return, yes. Knowing that... doesn't really make it any easier though" He gave a small, unintentional grimace. She opened her mouth as though to speak, but he bent his head gracefully to her hands and laid a delicate kiss there, and she never continued. Her fingers stilled and she looked intently at him.

"Thank you" he murmured, "That helps." He indicated her hands, which held his own as tenderly as if it were a baby bird.

As the sky gave way to evening, Kyo joined them. He swung himself down to sit on Tohru's other side. He didn't comment on their entwined hands, but gave a small smile and raised an eyebrow at Yuki, in a gesture which somehow reminded him of Haru.

They sun sank slowly behind the trees and the three watched, silent. It ended too soon for Yuki. Shigure cleared his throat from behind them and the three of them turned. He looked almost apologetic.

"The cars here Yuki" was all he said, but his tone conveyed a lot more; regret and sadness, bitterness and anger, all at once.

Yuki understood. He nodded and stood. His hand slid gently from Tohru's and she looked downcast.

"Well, try not take too long at the main house, we've got more fighting to do rat." Kyo grinned. It was interesting Yuki noted, as he returned the grin, how Kyo seemed to have matured recently. Even though he'd been joking there seemed to be an undercurrent of seriousness and affection in it.

As he arrived at the main house Yuki steeled himself. He thought of Tohru and willed himself to use his anchor to keep him grounded.

The weekend with Akito was strange. Upon arrival Akito embraced him, holding him closely against his chest. He led Yuki to his bedroom and indicated he should sit on the bed. Yuki was unsure, both of how to act and how he felt. The last time he had been here... well he couldn't clearly remember how it had been; his world had been dark then. He had left Akito after five weeks feeling conflicted and empty, and now...? It seemed to him that telling Tohru had built a support structure in his mind, keeping the darkness at bay.

Immediately he saw that Akito, whom he knew so well, looked markedly worse. He was thinner definitely, and his skin had a strange sallow quality to it. When he smiled though, Yuki still sensed the same power and rage trapped within the fragile form. Akito asked him how he had been since returning to Shigure's, and Yuki attempted to tell him. He included attacking Kyo because he was sure Akito would have heard, but omitted the night spent with Tohru. He skirted over the last few weeks, instinct warming him not to share his recent happiness.

Akito sat back as Yuki talked and when he had finished he didn't say anything for a long, heavy moment.

"You seem different, dear." It was more of a statement than a question, and Yuki didn't dare to contradict Akito anyway, so he remained silent.

Akito reached forward to gently tuck Yuki's hair behind his ear. Yuki suppressed a shudder.

"Your eyes. They're brighter."

Akito stood swiftly and floated to the gilded mirror atop the dresser. One slender hand reached out to rest on his reflection. Then slowly, it drifted to his face. Yuki could see Akito's puzzled expression in the mirror. He turned slowly, and it seemed to Yuki there was fear there now.

"My eyes," Akito took a step towards Yuki, "are getting duller."

Yuki didn't know what to say. Akito tilted his head alarmingly, and as his eyes bore into Yuki's, Yuki certainly didn't think they seemed duller.

Akito reached down to Yuki, a long trembling finger outstretched. The finger came to a faltering halt mere centimetres from Yuki's eye, causing his eyes to cross as he tried to keep it in focus. For one horrible moment he thought Akito meant to take his eye, but then the finger came to rest lightly upon his eyelid. The trembling finger guided Yuki's eyelid closed and he obliged. Akito followed the same procedure with Yuki's other eye. He sat as still as he could, thoroughly uncomfortable at not being able to see.

After a still, silent moment there came a flash of pain as Akito sharply slapped Yuki's cheek.

Yuki gasped and his eyes unwillingly flew open in alarm. Akito seemed enraged at this. Yuki closed his eyes again just as Akito drew his hand back for another slap. This time he managed to keep them tightly closed against the pain. Akito slapped one cheek, then the other, over and over.

And Yuki sat there on the bed, eyes closed, and took it.

He didn't make any sound, he didn't react to the blood which pooled when he bit his cheek, and above all, he didn't open his eyes.

He thought that he must be as strong as Akito, if not stronger, yet still it was Akito who beat Yuki... who held all the power. Because there was a big difference Yuki knew, between strength of body and strength of mind. And Yuki knew, though he didn't like to admit it to himself, that he was weak of mind. Years of darkness and fear had eroded any strength he had once possessed. Now he was a wreck, a mere husk. The slightest gust of wind might send him tumbling into the darkness once more. And he would be powerless to stop it. Because he didn't hold the power. His God held the power, his God thrived off it. Yuki was merely the rat. And if his God wanted to slap him until he passed out... there was nothing he could do.

In this instance that didn't happen. Eventually Akito stopped, and Yuki could hear his laboured breathing though he didn't dare open his eyes to see. His cheeks stung furiously and the taste of blood was strong in his mouth. He was shaking, and thought he could feel blood trickling from his nose. A soft hand cupped his jaw, and Akito's whisper tickled his ear.

"Open your eyes Yuki."

He did so, and the felt the pools of moisture which had gathered there winding down his cheeks. Tears. Akito seemed satisfied. He nodded for a long time.

"Not... so bright now" he managed. His chest heaved and his arms shook, but he smiled.

"What are you Yuki?" And Yuki knew what was required.

"I am vile. Unlovable. Pathetic and weak. A disgusting abomination. A monster. A freak..." It was strange; half of him seemed to believe this, yet half rejected it as a lie.

"You are nothing Yuki. Never forget that."

Akito nodded some more, and Yuki felt tiny. He was unable to stop shaking. It embarrassed him the way his body betrayed him.

"You are also mine." Akito had stopped smiling now. "Never forget that either."

He left. Yuki remained where he was. After an undeterminable time he realised what he was feeling: humiliation. Akito could do whatever he wished and Yuki was powerless. He tried to think of Tohru, and of Kyo, but thoughts of them were so incongruous with this place that he couldn't maintain them for long. All that his mind kept returning to was that he was weak, and that they would despise him for it.

He tried to tell himself that Tohru knew, that she accepted him... but it was difficult.

That evening Akito brought two cups of tea, as had become their routine. Yuki changed into his pyjamas as usual. On that evening however, Akito emerged from the bathroom naked. He seemed perfectly at ease as he walked to what had become his side of the bed.

Yuki stared, suddenly tense. The air practically thrummed in warning. Akito got into bed. Ignoring Yuki's shocked expression, he gave him a small sideways smile. As Akito clicked the light off, plunging them into darkness, Yuki's breathing came deep and fast. His chest constricted.

Akito shifted under the covers, moving closer. Yuki's entire body was tense. He could hardly move, hardly think, hardly breathe. When Akito reached him, and wrapped his bony arms around him, Yuki felt his mind teeter on the verge of transforming into a rat. It was the danger, the fear. He felt it in every inch of his body. He struggled to control his breathing as Akito wriggled closer, wrapping a leg around Yuki's.

In time his breathing juddered back to a regular rhythm and he relaxed slightly.

"Very good" came the whisper in his ear.

Yuki couldn't move. Powerless, once more. The gasp rose up in his throat like vomit.

Then Akito began singing. His voice just above a whisper, he murmured in Yuki's ear.

"Hush little baby don't say a word,

Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

And if that mockingbird don't sing,

Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring."

Yuki knew the lullaby, but it didn't soothe him. The eerie murmur was accompanied by Akito's hand caressing his arm.

"And if that diamond ring turns brass

Daddy's gonna buy you a looking glass"

Yuki was acutely aware of their bodies pressed together, with only the thin layer of his pyjamas separating them. The song continued, but Yuki was hardly aware of the words. All he could think was of Akito's body, so near.

Akito guided the song to a gentle end.

"If that horse and cart fall down

You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town."

He planted a soft kiss on the nape of Yuki's neck. Then... nothing. He moved his head away slightly and buried it in the pillow. Yuki was frozen as Akito's body gently relaxed as he drifted to sleep.

Yuki himself hardly slept that night, if at all. His mind was trapped in a cage of fear as much as his body was trapped in the very real cage of Akito's bare limbs.

When Akito stirred in the morning, Yuki was wide awake and waiting. Akito turned to him sleepily. He gazed pensively at Yuki, and though instinctively he wanted to turn away, Yuki held his gaze. Akito frowned slightly as he stroked Yuki's cheek, the same cheek he'd been slapping the day before.

"Such bright eyes" was all he said, before freeing Yuki from his cage and leaving for the bathroom. Yuki lay still, exactly where he'd been. As the minutes passed and he realised Akito wasn't coming back the waves of emotion washed over him. He sobbed then, curled in on himself in Akito's bed, on that beautiful autumn morning. He cried, not necessarily out of fear of what had happened, but out of relief of what hadn't happened.

Yuki returned to Shigure's on Sunday evening, and it was different and difficult. This time Tohru was waiting for him. When he emerged from the car she leapt up from where she sat cross-legged on the porch. She hurried towards him but something in his face made her stop short. Yuki saw her smile falter as she looked at him. It hurt him to see that. To see the way her eyes filled with concern. Worse, it hurt to know it was his doing. She asked if he was ok, and he replied that he was. Simply, no emotions or elaborations. He thought then that she could tell he wasn't, but he couldn't talk, not yet.

It took just over a day for him to come back to her. He was in his garden, sitting amongst the withering flowers with his eyes closed. She sat by him, and waited. Eventually he inhaled deeply and turned to her.

"I'm sorry" he said, and he truly meant it. "I'm sorry for how I've been behaving."

"Yuki, you have nothing to apologise for. I've just been worried."

There was silence, and Yuki watched the wind rush through the grass and scatter the fallen leaves.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tohru asked, her eyes wide and earnest.

Yuki nodded. "Yes" he whispered. "It's just, starting..."

Tohru nodded gently. She slowly reached out, and took his hand. Yuki breathed deeply.

Finally he found the words he was looking for, and began. He told her all that had happened at the main house. Of Akito slapping him, sleeping naked with him, of the singing and the talk of bright eyes. It took him a long time to tell the story. It was so fresh and raw that his mind hadn't really processed it yet. It was like picking at a scab which has barely begun to form, and there's nothing really there yet, just a cut. He struggled, but he succeeded.

Tohru listened silently, attentively. When he was finished she looked so sad he wanted to hold her. He wanted her never to look so sad again, and he felt a great shame that he had cause this sadness.

"Isn't there something we can do?" she asked desperately. He shook his head.

"But this- this can't be allowed. I mean if we told someone-"

"We can't" he cut her off, ignoring his usual manners. "Akito is the head of the family," he continued," he protects us, all of the zodiac members. He is our God."

She frowned, seemingly unsatisfied.

"Akito," he began. He paused, thinking for a moment how best to show her. "Akito is like a colossal tempest, made of anger and sadness and pain and power. The tempest is unstoppable, and untameable, and almighty. And whenever it's angry it hurls itself against a rock in the sea. The rock doesn't like the waves beating against it, of course. But behind the rock are many other rocks, let's say twelve rocks, and if the first rock wasn't there, all the other rocks would suffer the wrath of the tempest. And so the rock stays. The rock is used to the tempest, and the rock is honoured to shield the other rocks." He finished, and hung his head in embarrassment.

"Sorry, that was lame." He smiled self-deprecatingly. Tohru however, shook her head.

"I understand Yuki. I'm sorry. And thank you."

"Thank you?" he asked.

"For including Kyo. When you counted the stones. Everyone forgets the cat."

Yuki frowned slightly in bewilderment. It hadn't occurred to him not to count Kyo. He smiled at that, and Tohru smiled at him.

She leant forward, and kissed his cheek. Yuki felt wonderful, strange warmth spreading from that point. He smiled wider, and both blushed in embarrassment.

Talking to her, telling her what had happened, even just being with her, it helped. It brought him back to himself and kept the darkness at bay.

They returned to the house late that night, barely noticing the dark or the cold. They held hands, and didn't stop when they reached the house. Shigure smiled amiably at them.

"Right you two, school tomorrow. Don't let Hatori say I'm not a responsible adult!" They both laughed and bowed, and made their way upstairs.

Feeling foolish, Yuki kissed Tohru's hand as they parted. She giggled in response and he watched until she disappeared from view. He tumbled into bed that night smiling.

He went to sleep dreaming of Tohru and flowers and twinkling stars.

He woke up from a nightmare of Akito and mockingbirds and clutching hands.

At school over the next few weeks Yuki and Tohru spent as much time together as possible. It was sneaky glances and small giggles and snatched moments. It was exciting and uplifting and exuberating to Yuki.

He continued to spar with Kyo occasionally, and Tohru would watch and cheer. Kyo told him, with much embarrassment, that his date with Kagura had been fun. He blushed as brightly as his hair when he told Yuki he'd been wrong about Kagura, then punched Yuki when he laughed.

Yuki slept more, and ate more. He hadn't made himself sick in weeks. His nightmares continued as vividly as ever, but often now he dreamt of Tohru too.

He felt stronger with Tohru.

Sometimes he even believed he could be the strong, brave rock he had described to her, and survive the sea.

Of course, deep down he knew he was just a pebble.

What he didn't know was that there was a storm coming.

I don't own Fruits Basket, or the lullaby of course, which I think is called 'Hush, Little Baby'.

Thank you for reading, reviewing and everything :)