Author's Chapter Notes:

Hello, readers. I know I told, someone, this would be 3000 words, but it isn't. The good news is the next chapter is ready to go, so as soon as you are reading this I will post the next chapter for validation. ajasperforme does a grammar idiot (me) and reader a like good.

Thank you for the reviews, feedback, email to get my ass working and all together awesomeness...

Not mine people, not mine.

Such we are made of, such we be

Two extra vehicles were parked in the Cullen's driveway when Bella returned from school. Taking her time gathering her bag, she trudged to the house.

"Edward says he and you have plans this weekend, but I would like you to hang out with me," Alice said to a flustered Bella as she opened the front door. "He has been hogging you for months."

"We have plans this weekend?" she asked him, bewildered.

"No, you don't. He is trying to stop you from being with me," Alice interrupted, glowering at him. "Don't deny it."

"Alice, I think she can make up her own mind. Are you going to let her come in or make her stand in the doorway?" he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You get to meet Emmett and Jasper!" she squealed, leading her into the family room and paying no attention to her frightful eyes and trepidation.

Edward noticed it and promptly stepped in front of Alice to stop the showcase.

"Perhaps you should let her take her things to her room and settle in before giving her to Emmett?" he suggested.

"Giving me?" she asked, frightened as she heard a loud booming laugh from somewhere in the house.

"Eddie, I want to meet your girlfriend," Emmett bellowed.

Bella tensed at Emmett's proclamation and felt like she was on the verge of a panic attack. She wasn't Edwards's girlfriend; they were friends with secrets. On the cusp of becoming friends with benefits and secrets; she hoped.

"Um, I need to pee," she stuttered, quickly moving from the room, away from any undead creatures.

Sitting on the toilet, she calmed herself of her panic.

It's just meeting family members, not being presented to them. And I'm certainly not going to be given to one, am I? she contemplated while relieving her bladder.

Bella stayed in her room for almost an hour; dallying and putting off meeting The Addams Family.

As she entered the kitchen, where Esme seemed to be cooking lasagna, she took note of Emmett and who she guessed was Jasper.

They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They're altogether ooky,
The Addams Family.

She sang to herself.

Everyone turned to watch her as Alice introduced everyone.

Rosalie ignored everyone. She wouldn't acknowledge anyone in the room even when spoken to directly. She sat and seethed. She and Emmett had only learned Bella had moved in that afternoon. A heated argument with Edward and Alice went on for hours before Esme told all three to stop arguing when she heard Bella's car turn down the driveway.

"Stop arguing right now," she demanded. "She is a guest here for as long as needed; you will show respect."

Rosalie huffed and did not speak another word for most of the night.

As Emmett interrogated Bella about anything and everything, Jasper could feel her mendacity and anguish from some of the more basic questions she had been asked.

He wanted to know about her childhood, high school, what her parents were like, what pizza tasted like. Esme was just as rambunctiously curious. What is your favorite food, what is your favorite movie? What do you want to do with your degree?

She recited the tale Edward had practiced with her.

Her mother, Pamela, left when she was a mere toddler. She just turned nineteen a month ago.

"When is your birthday?" he asked.

"December twelfth 1991," she fretfully lied- unconvincingly.

"Edward said you were 19 when you met, not just turned 19?" he pushed. "What did he get you for your birthday?"

"A gift card for a book store," she stated. She fibbed; a friend had given her one for her nineteenth birthday in September.

After several lies Jasper wanted to speak up, but Edward shook his head in his direction to stop him.

That didn't stop Emmett.

"I think you are lying," Emmett leered and demanded, "Let me see your driver's license."

"Emmett!" four voices rang out.

"What?" he laughed. "It's obvious she is not being completely truthful. Jasper?"

"Bella, why don't you tell us why you chose ETSU for school?" Alice interrupted the interrogation, glaring daggers at Emmett and Jasper. "Why so far from home in Washington?"

"Um..." she started. "My grandparents offered to pay for my schooling and wanted me to spend more time closer to them."

Rosalie broke her silence at her admission.

"We can take that with a bushel of salt. Great grandparents if you have to run away at, what was it- nineteen years old."

"Some people are not who you think they are," Bella stated. "Some people hide everything about themselves."

"Like you noticeably are," she replied icily. "What are you hiding Bella Swan? Born on December 12, 1991? Your mother, Pamela, left when you were a child, but you are still in close contact with her parents? But you never see her? You are lying about everything."

"Rosalie that is enough," hissed Edward.

"You're so in love with her Edward, with a liar? She needs to be truthful."

Edward is in love me? Her stomach sank at the broadcasted revelation.

"We need to leave," Jasper said to Alice and Emmett.

"We will leave when Edward and Bella become truthful," Rosalie demanded.

Edward lurched at Rosalie and screamed.

"You can't handle the truth."

After Edward gave his best Jack Nicholson impression to Rosalie, Carlisle stepped in asking everyone to go home, and requested Nathan R. Jessep in his office.

"Do I need to be concerned about Bella's manipulation of the facts about herself?"

"Rosalie is a lie detector now?" Edward smiled, avoiding the question.

"Edward, you have been hiding something for months, and Bella is being a bit coy and not entirely forthcoming," he stated.

"I have never lied to you," Edward stated.

"'You can't handle the truth,'" he reminded.

"I will not lie to you," Edward stated. "But I can't tell you this yet."

"I trust you know what you are doing, son." he said. "Will you tell me why you can't tell me?"

"Foot bindings included breaking all of the bones in the foot and wrapping it tightly together," Edward answered.

"Vague and facetious," he inquired.

"A bone, once broken, will often heal with additional strength than it had before," he added as they heard Bella starting her vehicle and leaving the property.

"If you love somebody, let them go," Carlisle grinned at Edward's lost look.

Texting and making plans to meet up with Angela at her apartment, she only had one question.

Do you have issues with me drinking at your place?

After Rosalie's declaration of Edward's affections, Bella decided to engage in underage drinking to throw away her mixed up feelings toward Eddie Munster.

"Edward loves me," Bella drunkenly sputtered to no one unparticular.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Angela asked.

"It's not Teen Mom 'I love you'; it is Jane Austen 'I love you, most ardently'."

"Both of you are way too young for something like that," she argued.

"Precisely!" Bella bellowed. "He's a debutant from the 1950's."

"Is he a virgin?" Jessica, Angela's roommate, asked.

"Not for a long time," Bella giggled. "He has had a dozen girlfriends."

At two in the morning, Bella's phone chirped with a text message from Edward.

Are you coming home tonight? Are you safe?

By then Bella was belligerent and frisky.

Ask Cleo

Within moments her phone rang with his ringtone.

"Sulley!" she boasted. "How is my gentleman caller?"

"Are you drunk?" he asked. "Where are you? Do you need a ride home?"

"Too many questions for Jane," she hiccupped as he demanded information.

"Who are you with?"

"Bearcat and Sheba," she taunted.

"Just promise you are being safe, and I'll see you later," he insisted.

"You're goofy on me?" she mumbled.

"And you have learned slang from early 1900's," he noted. "When do you think you will be here tomorrow?"

"They're creepy and they're kooky," she sang horribly off-key.

"Are you singing?" he asked.

"Mysterious and spooky," she ended in a pitch only dogs could hear.

"You need..." before he could continue, he heard violent retching and gagging.

After several minutes, Edward heard a sound fill his ears from the handset of the phone-

Beep-beep-beep beeep-beep-beep beeeeep-beep-beep.

He growled when he realized she was dialing him again; too drunk to realize he was still on the line."

"Bella?" he asked.

"Edward," she slurred. "Can you come pick me up at Angela's?"

"I'll be right there," he assured her.

Around five AM, Bella had finally stopped hurling enough to lie down.

"What time is your first class?" he asked.

"Prob and Stats at eleven," she moaned. "I'm going to suck at it; I'll fail for sure."

"I won't let you fail," he vowed.

"'Cause you can't let the rest of the family know you love a dumb ass," she retorted.

"You are not a dumb ass; Emmett failed the first time he took the class," he bragged. "I will wake you at ten."

Fighting to keep her eyes open, Bella muttered, "Don't hate me if I can't love you back."

Chapter End Notes:

Question, Rosalie has a sister in this story, she is mentioned in prologue; she needs a name. I have a few swirling, but nothing is fitting. Ideas?

Let me know what you think of the chapter and I'll send a teaser...

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