"What's wrong Libby?" I ask her after leading her away from the party into the front yard "Girl, it's nothing to serious, just my mom and dad are going to be home in 30 minutes... heh heh." she trails off twiddling her fingers. I smile "that's okay; they know you're having this party, don't they?" I ask her relieved.
A few seconds in silence and me looking at her questioning face "Oh, Libby, you said they knew!!" I explode. She smiles "They do, they do know it's just uh, well, girl you remember that one time when you thought you knew I wasn't setting you up with Jimmy when you went on that blind date, and then you went on it and Jimmy was there?" she smiles.
I raise my eyebrow "they don't know Jimmy is here?" I ask. This girl is crazy. She shakes her head "well, technically they don't know you're here." She looks behind me at some people gathered around something "or them." she says. Then points to the house "or the contents of that building... they don't know that they're here either." she says.
I rest my head in my hand "Libby, how many parties of yours that I have attended, did your parents actually know about?" I ask. She takes my arm and smiles "this is the only one... I promise! Sheen just had a way with words, and when he mentioned 'costumes', girl, I couldn't resist" she smiles and waves at sheen through the open door. Barf.
"All these years and I still can't figure out how you ever fell for that idiot Sheen." I roll my eyes and start for the door; I guess I'm going to have to resolve this. But Libby grabs my arm "All these years and I still can't figure out how you never went out with that genius Jimmy" she smiles. I glare at her "hardy har, Libs give it up" I say.
"Oh, I don't have to Cyn, you already did enough by kissing him, I'm sure I can just lay back and relax and watch the rest bloom." she smiles following me into the room.
I step up to the mic "Hey everyone, party's over put your tail into high gear before I do it for you!" I yell... you could practically hear the crickets as all of those wide eyes just stared at me like deer in the headlights. "Well... GET!!" I yell. Still nothing happens.
I bend down and grab the nearest loser to the mic by the collar "You, take your poesy and scram!" I yell into his face. His friends, about five of them, run out of the house and I throw him on the floor. He scrambles to get up and crawls out the door.
"Everyone out before I call the cops on you sorry losers!" I finally bargain taking out my cell phone and flipping it open in one swift move. Soon everyone in the living room, except Jimmy, Sheen and Libby are out. The screech of tires and slamming of doors is heard outside. Libby smiles "thanks girl that was quick!" she says. I shake my head... "It isn't over yet, we still have the basement, the backyard, and regretfully, the bedrooms. We are going to divide these by who will do the best of emptying them." I list off.
Pointing to Jimmy I smile "you get to empty out the den!" I say. He sighs "but! I don't want to, it's full of hyped-up jocks and bullies who are full of testosterone and their energy levels are through the roof!" he whines.
I roll my eyes "so, you'll get over it. Now we only have 30 minutes so I suggest you get to it." I point up stairs as he sighs and unwillingly slumps towards the stairs. "wait!" I stop him. I pick up an air horn that's sitting beside me. I toss it to him "use this to get their attention" I smile. He catches it and goes upstairs turning into the den.
"Cindy, are you crazy? You just sent him to his death!" Sheen says. I shush him "I know - just shut up and listen." I say sitting down in a folding chair. Libby mimics me.
After a few minutes of waiting we hear an air horn and then Jimmy yelling something, then him screaming, then a couple of thumps and grunts, then the sound of some one being tackled. I smile but with each scream and thump Libby and Sheen wince.
I stand back up "okay, back to business. Sheen, since neither Libby nor I wish to deal with naked teenagers, you get bedroom duty" I say. He sighs "aw man!! Gross, what makes you think I want to see naked teenagers!!" he groans. I smile "I don't it's just Libby and I are better than you so that rules us out" I say.
He slumps upstairs mumbling angrily about something. I turn to Libby, "Okay, so it's just you and me now, I need you to go out back and around the house and scare off the people out there, got it?" I ask. She smiles. "Got it" she salutes.
I nod as she opens the glass door and puts on her angry face. "Now that leaves me and the basement." I open the door and go down the squeaky stairs to the bottom.
"First I have to find Carl" I say looking around at the game playing teens... I thought there would be a lot of people down here but you'd be surprised how little adults actually play games. After the first few minutes I spot Carl and rush over to him.
"Oh hey Cindy, I'm just down here kicking but at this limbo game" he snorts "I think I should be some sort of champion or something" he presses his glasses back up on his nose "except maybe for the fact that if I limbo to much my back gets this kink in it and that does some minor damage to my scapula, but I can always work out the kinks with some stretching, maybe pre-stretching even though the game is over and you don't have to do pre-post stretching but it never hurts to be safe!!" he finishes with a smile.
I unfold my arms and stop glaring at him. "Riiiight... so, Carl, I'm going to need you to clear out the game room and clean up for me. All these people have to go." I say looking around at the slow hunch-back, acne ridden, pocket-protecting, glasses wearing geeks who are supposedly 'breaking loose' by playing twister with their shoes, off.
Carl salutes me "ay-ay captain" he snorts. I smile and go back up the rickety stairs and open the door. I look out to the back yard and see Libby fishing out pairs of swim trunks and bottles of root beer out of the pool. People draped in blankets holding their costumes come down the stairs their hair all messed up and their face disgraced. "That's right out! ALL OF YOU!" I hear Sheen cry from up stairs. The last of the bedroom group leave and the beginning of the frat group comes down, high-fiving and smashing cans of flurp on their head. What jocks...
Just then Sheen comes down carrying a knocked unconscious and pretty bruised up Jimmy bridal style. "Here you go Cindy, I found him underneath the piles of empty plastic red cups." he says dropping him on the floor in front of me. I place my fingers on his carotid artery and feel a pulse "well, he's living. He'll be fine" I say leaving him on the ground and going to help clean up.
"Carl is downstairs ridding the basement of nerds, Sheen I need you to get a trashbag and clean upstairs. Don't throw away sheets just wash them. Libby you finish up outside and I'll get the living room/ dining area. When Lord Dorks-A-Lot wakes up I'm going to put him to work on the kitchen" I say gesturing to Jimmy.
Libby looks at me wearily "but Cindy, that could take hours, we have less than 20 minutes!!" she begs. I sigh "fine, I'll wake him up, it doesn't take a team effort, so get to work on your job!"