o.o.O.O.o.o
Gabby's POV
"Explain yourself."
"Let me explain."
"Offer an explanation."
As a high school student, I hear these and even read these statements often. In class, if the teacher asks a question and I raise my hand to answer it, simply stating the answer is never enough. It's always followed with "why?" It's not good enough to simply say that you agree with something. There's a reason involved. There has to be a reason for everything: every thought, every belief, every action…always an explanation. In academia, they call it analysis; in math, they call it proofs; in law, they call it evidence; in crime, they call it motive. If you hope for something, you often find that people ask you why. If you have aspirations for a certain career and you just so happen to tell someone, they always ask you 'why'?
Have you ever done something or said something that you wish you hadn't? Or you had absolutely no idea why you did it? It just seemed to be the most logical thing to do or say at the time… You find yourself asking 'why did I do that'? Or 'why did I say that'? And you just can't seem to come up with an answer to your question. You can't justify what you've done or said…
Things can never simply just…be.
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Brot never thought that this process would be easy. Reopening a formerly closed case was always difficult, even if the evidence was substantial. He wouldn't have minded so much if this case were clear-cut and dry. The truth of the matter was that there was little to no evidence whatsoever with this case. The only thing that was certain was that Bianca Montgomery was alive and that she had been held against her will. He was completely devoid of multiple things: the true culprit, any evidence to build a firm case upon, motive… There were few things he did know:
Dustin Meyers was an accomplice
Bianca's locket had been marked as evidence
Dustin referred to his employer as 'boss' and he didn't know who they were
He had questioned Meyers earlier in the week and the man had the nerve to ask for a deal. Brot knew not to be fooled. He knew that Meyers had little to no information about anything pertaining to the case and so he let the man wallow in his cell.
Rubbing his eyes, Brot took a deep breath before looking into his empty coffee mug…
He looked down at the communiqué taken when Bianca had come to the station with a couple of weeks ago a little while after the second abduction attempt.
They didn't always have me blindfolded. I don't know when it was or how long it had been since I was kidnapped, but they only decided to blind me after I attacked one of them. I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, their voice was being altered. They were torturing me… I managed to find something behind me. It felt like a broken pipe. With any strength I had I managed to hit them twice: once in the ribs and once in the leg. I can't remember anything after that. I had been knocked unconscious.
He was missing something and it was the one thing he knew would lead to the answer he was looking for.
But what was it?
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Pain, fear, guilt, anger, and sadness – name it. Any morose emotion that could possibly be thought of had managed to run through Marissa's bloodstream. There was a tone of happiness and recognition…even relief in Bianca's voice when Maggie's name had escaped her mouth. Marissa knew about Bianca and Maggie's history – the good, the bad, and everything in between. Marissa knew about all of Bianca's past loves and even though some were more successful than others, she always thought that Bianca and Maggie's story was… She didn't know how to explain it. Their relationship was something to be reckoned with…even with its bitter ending. Marissa bit her lip in anxiety, not knowing which direction their lives were headed as of this moment, especially as she watched the love of her life wrap her arms around a woman who she was previously involved with. No! Breathe! You trust her. You love her. Fight! Shaking herself from her thoughts, preventing herself from having to stare at Bianca and Maggie, Marissa walked, slowly, staring at the snow as it crunched beneath her feet.
"Hi," Bianca said shyly. Marissa noticed how Bianca's face seemed to light up as Maggie replied.
"Hi…how are you?"
"I-I'm good. You?"
"Good," Maggie nodded. "You look amazing."
"Thank you. …So do you. So where've you been?"
"I was hoping we could talk about that…without a watchdog…" Maggie said as she noticed Marissa standing a little bit behind Bianca, looking at the two of them. Turning around slightly, Bianca smiled at Marissa and laughed lightly.
"Not a watchdog. This is Marissa Tasker," Bianca said, her smile growing to a full grin. "My best friend."
Marissa felt her fear ease a bit as her presence was acknowledged, but as Bianca said the words 'best friend,' she felt a small pang in her chest. After the events of the last few minutes, before Maggie had made her presence known, Marissa was almost certain that they had moved beyond 'best friends'. Apparently not, she thought. No. Head up. Smile, you idiot. Walking forward the last little bit, Marissa extended her hand out.
"Hi," she greeted Maggie.
"'Best friend?'" Maggie questioned as she shook Marissa's hand.
"Yup. That's me."
"Hmm. Well, it's nice to meet you."
"Actually, you two are related," Bianca interjected, completely oblivious to the tension that had sprouted between the two of them. "Marissa is Babe Carey's twin sister. David's daughter. Makes you guys cousins."
"Oh really?" Maggie asked.
"Yeah…I'm sitting on a branch on the family somewhere."
"Huh…well, anyways, I should get going. But um…Bianca? Can we talk?"
"N-now?"
"Y-yeah. I was hoping-"
"Well, I promised Marissa I'd spend the day with her-"
"No, Bianca if…" Marissa sighed. "If you wanna go, I'm not gonna stop you. I mean…it's your life."
"No. Marissa I'm staying with you." Bianca shifted her attention back to Maggie. "Maybe sometime this week?"
Maggie looked from Bianca to Marissa and sighed.
"Sure. Uh…is tomorrow night okay?"
"Sure," Bianca said.
"Okay," Maggie smiled. "I'll pick you up? Or do you wanna meet somewhere?"
"Uh, why don't I meet you somewhere?"
"Sure…I'll call you with the details tomorrow umm, do you have a number where I can reach you?"
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Why is it always the same story with him? Why won't he change? …Okay maybe change is something that might be a bit of a delusion, but acceptance? Is that too much to ask for? There was a time when AJ thought he could go to his father for anything, whether it was for advice or something as simple as wanting to know how a word was spelled. That was when I thought I knew him.
"Hey, you okay over there?" Miranda asked, noticing that AJ hadn't said a single word since they left the penitentiary.
"Yeah…I guess. I'm just in my head."
"Quite the interesting day for us then."
"'Us?'" AJ asked as he took a quick glance at his sister.
"Do you mind if I use my 'favour' card to vent? I mean I know it seems insensitive because of what you just went through with your dad but-"
"Hey no! Of course vent away! I dragged you out here. What's up?"
"You remember Maggie Stone?"
"Mom's former best friend turned girlfriend who cheated on her with some French woman Maggie Stone? The Maggie Stone who Dr. Castillo wanted to bring back to town? That Maggie Stone?"
"You paint quite the picture. Yes, that's the one."
"What about her?"
"She decided to grace me with her presence at the Miranda Centre today."
"What? Are you serious?"
"Dead serious."
He started to laugh, which shocked Miranda. She raised her left hand and reached over the small bit of space between her and AJ and gave him a light swat on his right arm.
"H-holy shit! Hey! Why'd you slap me?"
"It's not funny!"
"Yes it is! Do you know how pissed I am that I wasn't there to see it?"
"See what?"
"See you hand her ass over to her."
"You didn't miss much."
"Really?" AJ asked, a little disappointed.
"Really…"
"NO! You're here because you're feeling guilty! You think that now she can't remember anything that happened between the two of you and the bitch you cheated on her with, you can use this opportunity to get a second chance!"
"That is not true!"
"Oh really? Then why the hell are you here? You could have easily said no to the 'assistant' assuming what you're saying is even true. You wouldn't be here after all this time if you didn't think there was something in it for you!" Gabby shouted.
Miranda didn't say a word for she was stunned. Gabby stared at Maggie in a way that had Maggie's face faltering within seconds. She felt fearless, betrayed, and protective. She didn't blink. She didn't move. She just stood there, glaring at the woman Miranda had once referred to as her mother.
"Clearly, it doesn't matter what I say to you. And you know what? It shouldn't. I don't have to explain myself to you."
Maggie moved to leave, headed for the door.
"No. Only to our mother." Gabby said.
Maggie turned her head at the sound of the younger Montgomery's voice. She shot a look of incredulity at the pair of them and walked out of the office.
"Damn! Gabby? Didn't think she had it in her."
Miranda chuckled.
"Really? With your mom as her go-to person when our own wasn't around, with Erica Kane as her grandmother and my own mother as her mom? Really?"
"I dunno. Gabby always seemed to be the quiet one." AJ reasoned.
"Yeah…like my mom. It's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for."
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
"Are you okay?" Bianca asked. She had her hands clasped tightly in her lap, despising the silence that had fallen between her and Marissa ever since Maggie left them in the park. Bianca had given Maggie her new cell phone number with permission to call her tomorrow morning. After that, Marissa hadn't said a word to Bianca and it was beginning to make the brunette nervous. Did I do something to upset her? She couldn't help but look over at Marissa who was concentrating hard on the road. The redhead was biting her lower lip and tapping her finger, nervously, on the steering wheel.
"I dunno." She simply said.
"Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?"
"Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?" Marissa could hear her own voice echoing in her head and trying not to laugh was proving to be difficult for her. A small smirk formed on her face. "No, Bianca," she said softly. "Of course not. I'm just thinking…over thinking…"
"About?"
'About?' Marissa thought. Where do I begin? What will happen to us if you and Maggie…oh God, I don't even wanna think about it. But she can't…she won't…right? I mean… She was gonna say yes…right? And that kiss! Oh God, that kiss! What I would give to just relive that again…and again, and again. I could stop the car right now and relive it. Control! …I could just say that I'm thinking about Miranda and AJ's gifts, but I can't lie to her. Dammit! What do I do?
"Marissa?"
"Heh? Oh. Sorry."
"If you don't wanna tell me, it's okay. I understand."
"No! That's not it…at all. I just…" Marissa hesitated. Just say it. "It's just…you didn't answer my question." She felt herself turn red from embarrassment. She looked at Bianca who was staring at the road ahead. Knowing that this wasn't a conversation they should have while she was driving. Sensing the palpable tension that had infiltrated the car, Marissa pulled into the closest parking lot. Once she put the car in park, Marissa turned her body to face Bianca and waited patiently.
"Your question?" Bianca asked, shifting her body as well.
"Yeah…y'know about me and you…" Marissa became courageous and took Bianca's hand in between the both of hers, gripping tightly enough to maintain a connection, but not secure enough to cut off her circulation. "…Going out…on a date?"
Bianca looked at the way her hand rested in Marissa's. Perfectly… No. Dammit. Why do I keep doing this? I was going to say yes, but then Maggie showed up. Is that a sign that I shouldn't say yes? Was that the universe stopping me from making a huge mistake?
"Uhh…" Bianca muttered. "I don't…I don't-"
"It's okay… I get it. You're uncomfortable around me."
"N-no, that's not how it is. I just…I'm…"
"Confused? Scared?"
"Yeah…I know I shouldn't-"
"It's okay. You don't have to explain it. Look, don't…don't answer right now. Think about it." Marissa said softly as she ran the pad of her thumb across Bianca's knuckles. She noticed the intense stare that Bianca had begun to look at her with and felt the old familiar thumps of her heart begin to increase. "But you should know that even though you don't answer me right away, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop asking." Giving her a smirk and squeezing her hand gently, Marissa turned from Bianca to restart the car. "So? I think I've figured out what I'm gonna get Miranda and AJ."
Bianca could only stare at Marissa with a look of surprise. She didn't know what to say at the way Marissa acted, but she shook herself from trying to think about it.
"Seatbelt," Marissa simply said as she drove onto the highway.
"Can I ask you something?" Bianca asked.
"Shoot."
"Would you mind if I got AJ and Miranda something?" Bianca said as they pulled up to a red light.
Smiling, Marissa replied. "Why would I mind?"
"Okay…okay good. Thanks." Bianca smirked to herself, but suddenly frowned. She tried to hide it from Marissa, but the expression Bianca wore didn't get past the redhead.
"Uh…what's that look for? What's wrong?"
"Nothing gets by you, does it?"
"Mneh, not normally." Marissa reached over as her foot moved from the brake to the accelerator, patting Bianca's leg. "Tell me."
I wish you wouldn't touch me so much… "I dunno what to get them. I just realized that I don't know all that much about them. Crap, I'm terrible."
Marissa chuckled. "Well, they both love music. Seriously, I think if you were to take that away from them, they'd die. Actually they both taught themselves to play instruments."
"Miranda plays?"
Marissa nodded. "Mmhmm…guitar. She taught herself when she was 11, right around the same time AJ taught himself. The only thing is, Miranda stopped playing when she was 15."
"Why?"
"Uh…her mom-"
"Oh! Right, I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. Anyways, I tried to get her to open up, tried to get her to play again, but she wouldn't… Uh, AJ…he likes to write his own lyrics. Can't read music to save his life, but he has an ear and a way with words. Doesn't seem like it, but I can tell. Some of the songs he's written…they'd surprise you… Do you wanna know more?"
"Yes!"
Marissa smiled. I could rave about our kids all day baby…
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
"Me next! Me next!" Sofia shouted, waving around her homemade birthday card.
"Okay baby girl," Marissa said as she took Sofia into her arms and sat her down between AJ and Miranda. The family of 7 was seated in the family room handing out their gifts to the birthday twins. Thus far, Gabby and Nathan had given their gifts to them. Gabby had, somehow, managed to break free from classes earlier that week to purchase her gifts, presenting AJ with a sticker that she had designed and had printed for him for his keyboard: one with an inventive makeup of his name and the other of his band name. For Miranda, more DVDs to add to her classic film collection from the 1930s-1950s. Nathan had made each of them a card and drew a picture. AJ and Miranda had smiled and chuckled to each other over Nathan's artistic ability. He was showing off his stick figure versions of AJ and Miranda and wore a proud smile, which only made his older siblings all the more happy.
As Marissa sat Sofia between Miranda and AJ, the little redheaded 4 year-old fanned her arms out, handing her siblings their respective envelopes.
"Gabby helped me and so did Nafan…but it was my idea."
AJ and Miranda looked at each other before prying their envelopes open. A homemade bracelet fell onto Miranda's lap as she looked down at the little girl beside her. She was giving Miranda a full-fledged and hopeful smile. AJ had a key-chain in his lap and raised it. On it were his initials with boxing gloves and he chuckled.
"Wow Sofia. Thanks! These are going on my car keys." He said and leaned down to kiss her head.
"Wanna help me put this on Fia?" Miranda asked. The youngster nodded her head animatedly before taking the bracelet and putting it on Miranda's wrist. "Thanks girly," she whispered and gave Sofia a tight squeeze.
"Okay! Mommy's turn!" Marissa yelled.
AJ and Miranda looked at each other and closed their eyes with a smile, shaking their heads.
"Okay, so, normally, I don't get you guys the same thing, but seeing as how you two have stolen all of mine and AJ, you no longer live here, I figured that you two would find use for these." Standing, Marissa motioned for the two of them to follow her and they did, but not before they noticed the knowing smirk that had appeared on Bianca's face. They followed Marissa into the den and when they got there, their jaws dropped. There, before them, were authentic, vintage record players.
"Holy sh-"
"Language AJ!" Marissa exclaimed before he could continue speaking.
"What-where?" Miranda stuttered.
"Hey! That's my secret. Just enjoy it!"
"Thanks Ma!" They said before enveloping Marissa in an all-consuming hug. A little way behind them, Bianca stood in the hallway while Gabby, Sofia and Nathan remained in the family room chattering away. Watching Marissa, AJ and Miranda, Bianca felt a longing fall inside of her. She wanted that. She wanted to know what it felt like to have kids hug you that way, out of gratefulness, happiness, and most of all, love. Something told her that it was within reach, but she couldn't understand it.
Pulling out of the hug, Marissa noticed the way Bianca was watching them. She winked at her and noticed the blush that had crept onto Bianca's face. She turned away suddenly from Marissa's gaze and headed back to the other three in the family room before she embarrassed herself again. That's when she had remembered Marissa's question earlier that day. I have to say no. But knowing the way Marissa had kissed her, how much she had wanted Marissa to kiss her, how she wanted Marissa to kiss her again…how can I say no?
Marissa had returned to the family room and smiled at Bianca, never taking her eyes off of her. Bianca suddenly felt warm and quickly looked away before she stood up. Marissa watched after her as she left the room before turning to Gabby and asking her to watch Sofia and Nathan. She followed Bianca out of the room, subtly. Grabbing her gift for AJ, Bianca went to the den where Miranda and AJ were still ogling at their gifts. With her hands behind her back, she cleared her throat. The twins looked at her and smiled.
"Happy Birthday, you two." She said. "Uhh, Miranda, do you mind if I speak to AJ alone?"
"Sure." Miranda said as she took one last look at her gift and left AJ and Bianca alone, not before noticing that Marissa stood watching them from a distance.
"What's up Bianca?" He asked, smiling.
"I had a gift of my own to give you." She said, bringing her hands out from their spot, holding out a gift.
"Wow, thanks." He said. He unwrapped the gift and, in his hands, he held a red, leather-bound book with his initials embroidered in gold lettering. He opened it and noticed the empty pages.
"It's so you have something to write your songs in… Your mom said you write your own lyrics."
"This is awesome. Wow!"
"Really? It's not cheesy?"
AJ chuckled as he moved to hug Bianca.
"Oh no, it's very cheesy, but lucky for you, I don't mind cheesy from time to time. This is just…damn. Saves me from having to scrounge for loose sheets and losing my stuff."
Marissa moved to the framework of the entrance and leaned against it as AJ made his way out of the den. Turning, Bianca noticed the way Marissa stared at her, smirking.
"I'd say you were dead on about that leather book Bianca."
"I tried." She said simply as she tried to walk past Marissa, but didn't get very far. The redhead had taken hold of Bianca's wrist, lightly. Their arms touched and Bianca recognized this to be dangerous territory…they were so close.
"And succeeded," Marissa whispered. She could see Bianca's eyes growing a darker shade of brown, converting to coffee black from their regular milk chocolate. Her breathing became slightly more laboured as her blood pounded in her ears. Bianca felt her palms begin to sweat as she noticed the look on Marissa's face become very similar to the one from earlier that day. Just like right before she-
"MOMMY! CAKE!" Nathan screamed.
Bianca forced herself backwards. Why...how does this always happen? Bianca thought.
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Sitting at the counter, munching on her nightly dose of Lucky Charms Miranda was caught off guard by a pair of hands covering her eyes.
"I could choke, y'know!"
Quickly, the hands were removed from her face as she turned and noticed Bianca looking at her.
"You've been avoiding me Mimo," Bianca said.
Miranda scrunched her eyebrows.
"No I haven't."
Bianca pulled up a chair beside Miranda and sat down.
"Sure you have. I'm here every night in the exact chair you're in and you don't come down anymore. And if you do it's well after I'm gone. Usually we cross paths. What gives kiddo?"
"'Kiddo'?" Miranda chuckled.
"I'm trying something."
"Oh, okay. Well, I promise. I haven't been avoiding you. I just have a lot on my mind lately." She said truthfully.
"Ahh. I see. Okay then can I ask you something?"
"Shoot." She said jamming another spoonful into her mouth.
"Okay well…Gabby's in high school, AJ's in college and you run the Miranda Centre?"
Miranda smiled knowingly.
"You wanna know why I'm not in school."
Bianca leaned her head to the side, sheepishly. She felt like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"Yeah. I mean. I know it's not any of my business, but Marissa said I should ask you. She said she offered to pay for your schooling and you said no. Tammy said you're an heiress of some sort."
"'Tammy said,' oooh haha… Well, I am an heiress of some sort, I guess. But I can't dip into that money until I'm 21. And I didn't want to burden Marissa so I said I'd work for it."
Bianca studied Miranda.
"It's more than that though, isn't it?"
"Nothing gets past you huh?" She quipped.
"Sorry, I guess I just know how to read you."
You have no idea, Miranda thought. She sighed and started at the pot of gold marshmallow in her bowl. "Well…to be honest?" She said as she looked up from her bowl to her mother. "I didn't know what I wanted. My mom had vanished, I was young, I didn't know what to do. Miranda Centre was the only thing I knew. Marissa didn't wanna push me and risk losing me too, at least that's what she said when we got into an argument about it last year. I never had to make these massive decisions without my mom and she wasn't there." Miranda said, as the feeling of guilt settled within her, speaking to her mother about a past that she wasn't a part of.
"I'm sorry that you had to go through that."
"I survived. I still don't know what I want, but I have the Centre and I think I'm good at that."
Bianca smiled and raised her hand and placed it on Miranda's face.
"I think you are."
Miranda smirked and sighed.
"Thanks."
Removing her hand, Bianca lifted her other one and placed a small box in front of Miranda.
"Happy Birthday Mimo." She said.
"What's this?"
"Open it," she said as she hopped off of the chair and stood over Miranda, who had, eagerly, grabbed the box and pried it open. In the box was a small, silver box with an engraving on the lid.
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny way of helping you out
Miranda smiled. "'Ironic?' How'd you know I love that song?"
Bianca shrugged. "Well, it came on in the mall today and I dunno, it made me think of you."
Miranda scoffed. "I sang this song in the school talent show when I was 11."
"Really?"
Miranda nodded. "It's been my favourite ever since."
Bianca smiled.
"Wow, thank you!" Miranda said as she threw her arms around Bianca's neck and kissed her cheek.
"Oh, don't thank me yet…"
"What do you mean?" Miranda said, pulling away from her mother.
"Open it…"
Miranda grabbed the silver box and opened it. In it, she noticed a purple guitar pick. Her face fell from curiosity to one that Bianca didn't recognize. She had never seen such a look on Miranda's face before. It was contemplative, but sad. Taking the pick from the box, Miranda brought it up to the light and noticed the word Mimo embellished in it.
"Marissa said that you used to play, but stopped. Life sucks. It sneaks up on you and takes things away from you…I mean look at me; I'm living proof of that much… Unfortunately, so are you. This world ripped you of someone you love…but you shouldn't let it pry everything else along with it. Life sneaks up on you, it spits in your face, but it also has a funny way of helping you out."
Tears formed behind Miranda's eyes for the first time in three years. In all of her interactions with her mother, this one felt the most familiar. Neither of them had their guard up and this realization made Miranda smile…genuinely, largely, thoroughly, extensively. Before she knew it, Bianca the 19 year-old hugging her again.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome… I should thank you too."
"Uh…me? Why me?"
"I may still be in a basement somewhere if it weren't for you."
"And your mom…and my mom…Marissa."
"Right."
"Well. I'm gonna head to sleep. You're sticking around for tomorrow night, right?"
"Tomorrow night?"
"Yeah, the whole family's gonna be here. We keep tonight for just us, but tomorrow most of Pine Valley's gonna be here, knowing my mother."
Bianca frowned in confusion. Why didn't Marissa tell me? She let me make those plans with Maggie… Why would she do that?
"Uh…yes, of course. I'll be here."
"Okay. Good." Miranda smiled. "G'night."
"G'night sweetie."
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Marissa was cleaning up and all of her kids were in bed. Sofia and Nathan had requested Bianca to read to them tonight and she couldn't refuse them. She was washing the dishes when she heard the pattering of feet coming, quietly, down the stairs. There was a jolt of excitement being shocked into her when she thought about who it was. Those footsteps had made their way to the kitchen and stopped. Turning the water off, Marissa turned around and saw Bianca standing by the counter, eyeing her suspiciously. Reaching for the dishtowel, Marissa dried her hands before questioning Bianca.
"What's wrong?"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Uh…t-tell you? Tell you what?" Marissa asked, worried about what was going on in Bianca's head.
"About tomorrow night?"
"Tomorrow night?"
"Marissa, please? Don't play dumb with me. I'm already confused by everything. Miranda said tomorrow night people are coming for her and AJ's birthdays. And you let me make those plans with Maggie for tomorrow night."
Marissa sighed, defeated.
"Bianca…you're your own person. I saw the way you looked at Maggie…the way you seemed to light up," Marissa paused to gather herself, to prevent herself from breaking down. "You light up when you see her. You remember her…your friendship, what you two had, you're happy around her. Who am I to keep you from that? So…I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel obligated to stay when there was the possibility that you'd rather be somewhere else with someone you can remember…" Marissa admitted.
Bianca sighed and shifted her position from the counter and went closer to Marissa. She stood directly in front of her and bit her bottom lip.
"Being here is not an obligation. I want to be here. All of you made me feel so safe and comfortable and wanted. And you guys were here when I came back."
Marissa sighed and sneered at herself.
"Yeah, because we made it that way." Marissa said, scared to look at Bianca, knowing that what she would say next might put her in a different light in Bianca's view.
"What do you mean?" Bianca said as she took a step back. She looked at Marissa and she had a guilt-ridden expression written with terrified determination on her face. "Marissa? It's okay. You can tell me," Bianca said, taking her hand.
Sighing, Marissa spoke, holding onto Bianca's hand tightly.
"Umm…after you asked Griff about Maggie so many times…he asked Miranda if he could give Maggie a call and bring her back to Pine Valley. He uh…he thought that it would help you out with your memories. She said no, so he came to me. Told me to think about it and to let him know. I didn't know what to do… I just saw you and you were happy and didn't know if it was the best option." Bianca had raised her eyebrows in disbelief and she tried to pull her hand away from Marissa, but she only held on tighter. "No, wait, Bianca. I realized that it wasn't my decision to make-"
"You're damn right about that!"
"Which is why I was gonna talk to you about it!" Marissa was beginning to get desperate. Bianca had been pulling away, acting exactly as she feared she would. "I was going to tell you today, ask you what you wanted to do, but then everything happened. You started to remember me. That memory you had of us with the snowball fight? That has to be my favourite moment between us. We really became friends after that and I…I dunno, things just spiraled out of control after that."
Bianca was silent. She was staring at her feet, not knowing how to react. She tried to not be angry, but she couldn't help but feel robbed of a decision that was hers to begin with. Dr. Castillo should have gone directly to her. Why had he gone to Miranda and Marissa? It didn't make sense to her. Nothing had made sense to her. She needed some semblance of control, something that she recognized, something familiar.
"Bianca, please? Say something…"
"Y-you should have told me…"
"I know, I know I'm-"
"You should have said something to me right away! You keep saying I'm my own person, why didn't you trust me with this?"
"Bianca, please-"
"Just tell me why?" Bianca said softly. She looked at the way Marissa held onto her hand. She watched and Marissa brought the both of their hands up to her chest plate, using them to drape over her heart. The back of Bianca's hand could feel the wild and rapid beating muscle.
"I…I was…afraid of losing you…all over again. You're one of the only people in my life who's ever meant anything to me… You mean so much…more than you will ever know or could imagine. It scares me how afraid I am that you're just gonna disappear again. I don't think I would be able to live through that again. I survived the first time, but if it were to happen a second time? I can't say that would happen again."
Bianca took a deep breath and pulled her hand out of Marissa's, who had let it go this time. She didn't say anything, but by the look in her eyes and the way her tears had begun to fall freely, Bianca had felt even more confused than she was to begin with. "So…jealousy…that's what it all comes down to?"
Marissa didn't deny it, but she didn't know if that was the case or not.
"I don't know… All I do know is that, whatever you decide – to forgive me or not, to stay or go…" She lost her words momentarily. "You do what you want, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop being here for you."
o.o.O.O.o.o
What a day! Hope you enjoyed!