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Part Thirteen

Do you ever…

Just wish you could change everything?
- I know I do.

Today's blog post would be short but for a sum up it was pretty close to how I felt. Both Hinata and Sakura had been calling nonstop ever since I arrived at home. I bet the news must have reached them by now that Naruto's and mine relationship was already over in less than 24 hours.

I felt pathetic.

The following days I stayed home. For once, Itachi actually took pity on me and allowed me to escape the embarrassment, even going so far as offering to go visit Naruto and kick his ass for hurting me but I quickly made him promise not to. Even if I think Naruto deserves some of the blame too I knew most of it was my fault. Whether I kissed Kiba or not, I should have told him about it. Perhaps by hiding it from him he assumed it meant something more than what it really was: a drunken mistake.

The worst part was he still wouldn't let me explain. He ignored my text messages and disconnected my phone calls. What else was there to do? The only response I received was from Kiba. However, I was still unsure of how I felt about him so I ignored most of it. He still sent messages saying we have to talk and how he's sorry for how thing turned out.

At first I had been mad at him for telling but it quickly died once I got some perspective over things. Even if he had said it, how could he have known me and Naruto were dating. We had hid it for months and if I understand it correctly he actually like likes me and who wouldn't tell their best friend about it? I told Sakura and Hinata when Naruto and I got together. Mostly because Sakura had hurt my pride but by telling me Naruto was out of my reach, but also because she was such a pusher and could always tell when I'm trying to hide something and would have gotten more annoying had she found out by herself.

There was a knocking on my door and I called out for the person to enter. Itachi's head peeked through the small opening. "Hey there's someone here who wants to see you."

"Who is it?" I said thinking it must be Sakura having grown tired of my moping but was surprised when he said it was some guy named Kiba. Slightly reluctant to letting him in – I couldn't very well tell him to leave when Itachi already let him in – I nodded my consent and shortly thereafter Kiba entered my room. I sat up from having lied in bed all day and tried to look as respectable as possible. It most likely failed though seeing as how my hair was disheveled and I wore my pajamas.

"So I know you probably don't want me here but I've tried calling you and you know." Kiba began his eyes moving about my room. I could tell he felt just as awkward coming here as I was him being here. "I get why you don't want to answer but I just want to say I'm sorry and seeing how you're not coming to school I didn't know what else to do so I sorta ended up coming here. Sorry." Now he was apologizing again. A part of me wanted to say I was over it but my lips remained sealed.

After realizing I wasn't going to answer the air grew uncomfortable around us and Kiba started hesitating before eventually sitting down in my bed keeping a short distance between us.

"Naruto is a jerk." He said abruptly causing me to come out of my daze.

"Why do you say that?" As much as I found it annoying that he would say something bad about Naruto when I was the one at fault, a part of me agreed.

"I know he likes you." Kiba frowned. Whether it was from jealousy or sympathy was hard to tell. "He's way too stubborn. I know that if it was me… well, I'd forgive anything if that meant-" His words died out and our eyes met awkwardly, the look in his eyes picking up from where he left off. I found it strangely appealing. That raw emotion: the adoration he revealed. It was something I had only hoped for Naruto to show.

Was that my heart racing?

"But it's our fault from the start." I suddenly felt the need to defend Naruto. Why was my heart beating so hard? Did I have feelings for Kiba? No, no way! "If I hadn't done what I did this never would have happened."

"You don't think Naruto's in the wrong?" Kiba somehow seemed offended. I looked at him slightly confused. "I mean sure we were the ones kissing but you don't think he owns it to you to come clean about your relationship. If he wants you all to himself perhaps he should have made it clearer than sneaking around everybody's backs? "

He made a valid point. I couldn't deny him that. "But," I began however Kiba silenced me.

"If anything, should he want you as much as I want you, wouldn't he put up more of a fight? Please," he said and shifted closer, using my shocked silence to his advantage and covered my hand with his. "Why don't you give me a try. I know now… what I want…" I shivered unwittingly, not sure of what to do. My heart beat like drums to a point I was almost afraid Kiba would hear it now when he sat so close.

But whatever worries I had didn't matter because without warning, just like before, it happened again. Kiba's roguish expression moved in almost in slow-motion as he closed the remaining distance between us, his lips ending up touching mine in a gentle chaste kiss. Meanwhile I sat too baffled I never had the time to respond.

My eyes grew owlish and I lost my ability to speak. The only sound in the room was the heavy beating of my heart and Kiba's shallow breathing. How had it come to this? Only a few days ago he agreed our kiss meant nothing! He wasn't even gay that I knew of! Why did all this decide to happen now? I've gone my whole life without any sort of love interest and now I had two people messing with my mind and heart. Did I like Kiba? Yes, but only as a friend. Then again why was my heart beating so erratically if so? It didn't make any sense.

"Would you say something?" Kiba must have lost his patience as he broke the silence. My eyes moved about the room in slight hysteria. What did he want me to say when I didn't know it myself?

The window caught my interest. Suddenly I found it hard to breathe and I realized I needed air. I moved my hand from under Kiba's and stood up. "Um, I- I" I stammered as I slowly backed away from the bed and Kiba in need of space. I didn't even finish my sentence before bolting out of the room. I ran passed Itachi in the living room mumbling my leave and threw on my shoes, not caring I still only wore my pajamas. The next minute I was in the woods not far from our house, ignoring the twigs whipping at my face as I raced through trees and bushes. I must have run for quite a while before eventually slowing down to rest against a fallen tree trunk. My breath came out jagged and my lungs burned from loss of oxygen. My stamina was well known for being short lived.

The thought I had left Kiba alone in my room didn't even occur to me as the swirling mess of emotions kept me plenty of busy trying to sort them out. I almost felt lightheaded from just trying to recall the horrible mess that was my life. "What should I do?" I groaned to no one in particular in desperate need for some answers. A part of me wanted to call up Sakura and just start wailing but the other part of me would not let me. My pride and indoctrinated self-control held me from admitting out loud the pathetic defeat I felt. People say things happen for a reason, well, they should just shut up.

I must have spent hours just walking aimlessly through the woods until I eventually returned home, tired and hungry. I was still confused as of what to do about Kiba's confession but knew I had to sort things out between us. Things would only get more awkward if I were to leave it as it was now and that was something I rather lived without. I already had enough troubles to keep me busy thank you.

Having decided that much I let sleep take me away too tired from the days emotional stress. What wouldn't I give for just a single moment of peace.

tbc

Noooo how did this happen? I never meant for Kiba to fall in love with Sasuke! This must be some evil scheme made by Cupid.

Next chapter! A friendship turn into something else? Someone's jealous?

Will things ever work out for the poor Uchiha?

Read and find out as we finally reach the last chapter of awkward.