A/N: First post in the month of loooove. Anyways, this takes place during the season third premiere. Parts of it probably doesn't match because I don't remember the premiere perfectly. It's been over a month since I actually watched it. But ta-da. Here ya all go.

Disclaimer: I don't own SoA. Song by Default.

SONS OF ANARCHY

100 theme challenge

86. Picking Up the Pieces

Can hold my breath only for a little
While 'til reality starts sinking in
Once again I'm settling for second best
Turn the pages skip to the end
To where I swore that I would try since the last time
I crossed that line in the back of my mind
I know

- "It Only Hurts", Default

I moaned, rolling over so my face was buried into my pillow. The room was dark with the door shut, noise just barely coming through it. I was laying in Juice's bed at the clubhouse, where I had spent the better part of the past couple days.

Hell had hit Charming.

My mother had ran off.

My nephew at been kidnapped.

My friend was dead.

And all this happened while I was safely tucked away in the clubhouse where I couldn't do shit. The news had hit me like a freight train and I just couldn't handle it. After trying to speak with Jax – with no avail – and following my father around like a lost puppy until he told me to get some rest, I had holed myself up in this room. It might have been childish of me to do so, what with the club having to put up with so much at the moment, but I just couldn't deal with it.

The door creaked open but I didn't move. Every night, Juice would come in and go to sleep against me before leaving the next morning to help the club. I assumed it was just him.

"Kel?" Juice's weight came onto the bed and I felt him pull the blankets back. Reluctantly, I rolled over so I could look up at him. I immediately felt bad, seeing the look of concern on his face. For the past couple of days, I've been nothing but dead weight.

"What time is it?" I asked, sitting up. The whole body felt sore from the motion, which was to be expected as I hadn't been moving around a lot.

"Just past noon," he answered, absently reaching out and tugging a strand of my messy hair. "You gotta get up now. Your dad needs you."

I sighed before sitting up and dragging myself off the bed. It was about time I made myself useful. Juice sat on the bed, watching me as I got dressed. Quickly, I ran a brush through my hair before the two of us left the room together.

The rest of the guys – minus Jax and Tig– sat in the main room, muttering to each other. Sitting on the counter in front of Chibs was a brand new full-patched cut. I flinched at the sight of it. It was for Kip, I knew it. Just seeing it hurt.

Dad looked up once he saw me. "Princess, hate to ask this, but we need you to watch the garage and clubhouse," he said, putting down his beer. "We got business to do."

"Yeah, sure," I answered half-heartedly. He got up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, kissing me on the forehead, before leaving the clubhouse. The rest of the guys followed after him, leaving me alone in the large room.

The room never felt so quiet and lonely, even though I had been there alone dozens upon dozens of times. But it never felt like this. The air was thick. I felt almost dizzy just standing there. Needing to leave the room, I grabbed a cold water bottle from behind the bar and went outside.

The sunlight hit me, blinding me immediately. I cursed myself, knowing it affected me so much because I didn't go outside in a couple of days. The garage was as busy as ever, despite the current turn of events, so I made my way quickly across the parking lot. The mechanics greeted me as I passed so I gave them a failed attempt of a smile.

My morning was going how it was to be expected. I answered phone calls, talked to customers, organized the growing mess on my mother's desk, and helped with the cars. But my heart just wasn't in any of it. I kept drifting off, thinking about what the guys must have been up to. It had to involve Abel somehow. That was the only thing they were truly working on these days.

Abel, and figuring out how to get fix Mom's situation. Tig had rode out to look after her with a couple of the other guys. I had a couple of phone conversations with her since, but we didn't talk much. Dad had insisted on not telling her about Abel because he didn't want to panic her even more. I agreed with his reasoning; she had enough on her plate as it was.

A vibrating noise from my bag caused me to snap out of my thoughts. I got up from the desk and grabbed the pre-pay my dad made me carry with me.

"Hello?" I asked, sitting back down.

"Hey, baby," my mother's voice said. "You out of bed yet?"

"Yes, Mom," I answered, not paying too much attention. As our conversations went these days, it wouldn't be a very long one.

"Where are you?"

I could hear her shush Tig in the background and him make annoyed grunts. I smiled slightly at this.

"Work," I answered again, staring at the papers before me. I shuffled them around, trying to at least make it sound like I was doing something.

"Who's watching Abel, then?"

I froze in my shuffling. She hadn't brought Abel up to me on the phone, just to Dad. And he was much better at lying then I was. I rubbed my forehead, aggravated.

"Neeta's with him," I lied, hating myself. I didn't like lying to my mother, of all people. There was a brief pause.

"Alright," she said, satisfied with my answer. I could have sighed with relief, if it didn't tip me off. I was lucky she wasn't in the room with me. My face would have given me away. "I'll talk to you soon, baby. Love you."

"Love you, too, Ma," I muttered before hearing her hang up. I tossed my phone back to my bag and sighed, propping my feet back up on the desk. The conversation was barely over two minutes long and yet it still caused my heart to beat faster.

Needing to do something to occupy myself, I went into the other room to work with the guys. Just past five, Tara showed up, looking none too pleased. I stopped work as she looked at me and jerked her head to the picnic table. I walked over, sitting up on the top next to her.

"Your brother's an ass," she muttered. I glanced at her.

"He's still alive, is he?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. As of recently, Jax had been acting just as useless as I was, but with good reason. Tara's mouth twitched into the briefest of smiles before falling again. I patted her shoulder, trying to be comforting. We sat in a comfortable, if strange, silence. Well, we did until a familiar car pulled up.

I scowled, getting off the picnic table as Agent Stahl got out of the car. She gave me a short glance with a raised eyebrow. I made a face, though I bit my tongue. Now wasn't the time to get into problems with the ATF.

"I need you two to come down to the station with me," she said, stopping a few feet away from us.

"Why does Kelly need to go?" Tara questioned, getting up and standing before me. I was a little touched that Tara was suddenly feeling protective of me. "She wasn't there when all of this went down. She was here."

"Yes, but the club trusts her with more than you," Stahl answered, sounding a little smug. Tara winced slightly at the statement and I looked down at my feet, feeling awkward. "She might know some things you don't that can be…helpful." She turned back to her vehicle. "See you in ten."

"Like I'd tell you," I grumbled as the car drove away. Tara glanced at me.

"I'll wait in the car," she mumbled. I nodded, taking my T-M shirt off. I went back into the garage, telling the guys I had to go. They seemed worried that the ATF was showing up again but promised that they'll look after things while I was gone. I grabbed my bag before jogging out and climbing into Tara's car.

We drove to the station, silent again. The only noise was the sounds of the car and what noises Charming gave us through the open windows.

Entering the station, Hale looked up with an apologetic look, mostly directed at Tara. He came over to us.

"Sorry you two have to go through this," he said, patting us both of the shoulders. We both shrugged simultaneously. "Well, Kelly, you're first." I gave my bag to Tara and followed Hale to the interrogation room. Feeling stubborn, I dropped myself into the chair across from Stahl and crossed my arms.

"Miss Morrow, we can make this difficult-" she started.

"Alright," I interrupted her, as contrary as possible. She raised her eyebrows at me before going back to the papers before her.

"Well, then, Kelly," she put emphasis on my first name, showing she wasn't going to be respectful anymore, "can you tell us about the night Kip Epps was murdered?"

"Nope. I wasn't there."

Stahl gave me a look like she was trying to be patient with a small child. I gave her a tight smile.

"We know you weren't there," she said. "But Sons must have told you something. Dr. Knowles must have told you something."

"Not really," I answered with a slight shrug. "Daddy says I'm too young to be given details about the death of my…friend." I struggled a little with the last word, remembering the blood stain I had saw that night when I went to Jax's. The body had already been removed but the blood wouldn't wash off, no matter how anyone had scrubbed.

"What about your mother?" she pressed, breaking me from my thoughts. "A mother wouldn't up and disappear, and not call her only daughter."

"I don't know where she is," I insisted. In all honesty, I didn't know her exact location, just that she was somewhere temporarily safe. "Like I said, no one bothers to tell me shit around here."

Stahl seemed frustrated. I could have grinned, but kept my amusement to myself. Juice had told me how Stahl had been demoted and was no longer working on the IRA case. Obviously, she was still trying to take it out on SAMCRO.

"You sure?" she asked again.

"Yes, I'm sure." I rested my arms on the table, leaning forward and looking serious. "Do you really think my dad would let his only daughter know stuff that could potentially be harmful? Just knowing stuff can get me killed."

Stahl studied me for a moment before jerking her head to the door.

"Leave. Send in Dr. Knowles."

"Yes, ma'am," I muttered sarcastically under my breath. I left the room and sat down next to Tara who was waiting. "Your turn." She muttered something profane before giving me my bag and going into the room. I watched the door shut behind her, feeling agitated. I didn't want to be stuck in the station for any longer but I knew it wasn't right to leave without Tara.

I was falling asleep from boredom by the time Tara was let out. She had been in there much longer than I was. She stopped briefly, looking at me.

"Let's go," she said before leaving. I hurriedly followed her.

"Stahl let you have it?" I asked, as we walked to the car. She shook her head.

"FBI," she answered.

"Ouch."

"Dr. Knowles?" Stahl had followed us out of the station. Tara stopped again, turning to look at her. She glanced at me, jerking her head to the car. I sighed before leaving her, leaning against the car to watch.

I couldn't hear their exact words, but it seemed to annoy both of them. The sound of a motorcycle came and I turned to see my dad ride up. He got off his bike and stopped next to me.

"Go home and get ready for Sack's wake," he mumbled softly, kissing me on the forehead. I nodded before going around the car and getting in. Dad stopped to speak with Tara before going to Stahl. Tara climbed in, looking more frustrated than I saw her all day.

"Take me home, please?" I asked, trying not to annoy her. She nodded. As we pulled away, I could see the looks on Dad's and Stahl's faces. Neither looked pleased.

My room seemed perfectly spotless. It must have been because I hadn't been there in a while. I threw my bag to the floor and stripped, getting into the shower. I stood there, scrubbing myself off repeatedly. I felt so dirty from not washing myself recently. Once I was satisfied that I no longer stunk, I got out, wrapping myself in a warm, fuzzy towel.

The sun was setting as I pulled out on black pants and a black, short-sleeved dress shirt. As I located the most appropriate heels I owned, it stung my heart, knowing I wore the same get-up not that long ago for Donna's funeral. I was running a brush through my hair when my front door opened.

I didn't turn when Juice came into my room. He leaned against the wall, watching me.

"You already?" he asked. I nodded, tossing my brush onto my dresser. I grabbed my jacket off the floor near the foot of the bed and followed Juice downstairs.

Happy sat on his bike in my driveway along with a couple of the nomads. They didn't say a word as Juice got on his bike with me behind him. The town seemed dead as we rode to the church; there wasn't a person in sight until we reached our location.

The front lawn was littered with both SoA members and military people. As I got off the bike, I felt confused until it occurred to me Half-Sack had been in the military before prospecting for SAMCRO. I had heard the story of his name one too many times.

Juice took me by the hand and led me inside. Dad and Jax weren't there yet, and Tig was obviously too busy, but the rest of SAMCRO were already inside, conversing quietly with friends and family. Juice would stop occasionally to speak with other people. If they recognized me, they would ask how I was doing. I would nod slightly and say, 'all right', but nothing more. I wasn't in the mood to be talking to any of these people, most of them strangers or close to it.

Gently, I tugged my hand loose from Juice. He glanced at me, worried for a moment, but I gave him a slight smile and murmured that I needed to go speak with Kip. He nodded, understanding, before back to speaking with some guy I didn't quite know from Tacoma.

Walking past the other visitors, I wandered into the room that held the casket. I stopped, my heart pounding loudly. I could feel the tears begin welling up in my eyes at the sight of the casket before me. It wasn't even open and I couldn't see the body, but knowing he was in there, unmoving, made every inch of me ache.

The only other person in the room at the moment was Chibs. He stood there, staring down at the full-patched cut that laid across the wooden box. I walked up next to him, pausing at his side. He glanced at me. It was strange to look at his face. I don't think I've ever seen Chibs cry, not like this. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him. Honestly, I didn't know if it was to comfort him or me.

"Hey, darlin'," he whispered, reaching a hand up to stroke my hair. "I'll be okay." He kissed the top of my head before I nodded and released him. Chibs patted my arm again before going back out, leaving me alone.

Being left with my thoughts, I looked down at the casket. The tears finally began leaking down. I swallowed to clear a lump in my throat before I began speaking out loud.

"Hey, Kip," I whispered. I didn't want anyone else to hear me since I felt this was a private conversation. "I miss you. It's not right anymore without you around. It was hard enough talking to the guys, knowing they would spill to my parents if it worried them enough. I miss having you listen to all my problems. It must have been a pain in the ass but you never complained about it.

"The guys miss you. They miss you a lot. I never seen most of them this broken up before, especially about someone not patched. He didn't notice me, but I saw Piney crack a tear. Piney of all people.

"I wish you were still here, Kip. Mom's gone. Abel's gone." I stopped to hiccup and wipe the tears off my face. "Thank you for trying to protect Abel. If he could talk, he'd thank you, I know it." I bent down and kissed the cut lightly. "I love you, Kip."

An arm encircled my waist and Juice rested his chin on my shoulder.

"You okay?" he murmured into my ear. I nodded and sniffed slightly. A noise came behind us and we both looked. Jax and my dad came in. Thinking they might want to be alone, I took Juice by the hand and led him outside. He followed me without arguing.

We went back to the original situation: Juice talking while I remained, mute, by his side. I departed from him briefly to talk with Lyla and Opie before drifting back to him.

Jax and Dad came out of the room together. People were filing out now, having already paid their respects. With a mere wave of his hand, the guys of SAMCRO gathered together, herding us who were attached to them. With Dad in the lead, we went outside the church.

Like earlier, the lawn was littered with people, but this time, most were leaving, not coming. It was entirely dark now with no sign of the sun. I was happy I had thought of bringing my jacket with me. My eyes followed Bobby's heels as he walked just feet ahead of me. Dad continued to lead our herd, Jax and Tara stuck together behind him. I wasn't paying much attention to walking; Juice's hand on my back was gently pushing me where he wanted me to go.

It came suddenly. A van pulled up, though I heard it more than I saw. And then the gunfire.

Someone shouted to get down. I didn't react fast enough so Juice pushed me forcefully to the ground. I could just see people dropping to lay flat on the sidewalk, road and grass. Juice kept most of his body over top of mine before kneeling up. I could see much of SAMCRO do to the same, their guns in their hands as they began shooting back. I folded my arms over my head, trying to block out the sound. There was shouting, screaming, then the noise of the van trying to screech off. The noise of an impact made my stomach roll. Whatever it was, it sounded not good.

The gunfire stopped almost as suddenly as it came. Absently, Juice tugged me up, running a hand along me as if to make sure I was in one piece.

"You okay?" he asked, hurriedly. I nodded before he stood up and joined with the rest of SAMCRO. I looked around, trying to figure out what had happened. It looked like many people were doing to same. Shuffling on my knees, I moved back to Lyla and the kids. She was trying to calm them so I instinctively started to help her as I looked around.

Someone was lying on the road. I stood to get a better look at the body. My stomach dropped into my knees once I saw the uniform. Police were rolling up but I knew only two officers had been there that night: Unser and Hale. And I could see Unser farther down the sidewalk.

I didn't like him. I didn't even know him that well. After all, he was always trying to get rid of the Sons. But he didn't deserve this. He didn't even have to be here, paying respects to a person who was the exact opposite of everything he believed in. But he still came because he was a good guy.

Swallowing hard, I looked around at the noise of a commotion. One of the shooters had been left behind and Jax was going after him. I wanted to yell for Jax to stop but it wouldn't do any good. I was able to see what had set him off. A mother was screaming about her hurt son. The boy was bloodied and he was clearly in Jax's view.

The police, who had showed up, were trying to fix the situation. After letting Jax get as much anger out as possibly could, they pulled my brother off the man. I shivered as I saw one of them handcuffed Jax too but there wasn't anything to be done for it.

Juice and Opie came over. Immediately, I wrapped my arms around Juice's waist, burying against him, as Opie tried to gather the children and keep them from getting more upset.

"Clay says to get you home," Juice murmured into my ear. I nodded.

"Is Jax gonna be alright?" I asked. Juice stroked the top of my head comfortingly.

"I don't know, baby," he answered, honestly.

I sighed and let him lead me through the crowd to his bike. I wanted to get away from there as soon as possible even though I was worried about my brother.

Looking up at the clear, starry sky, I whispered, "Sorry, Kip." I didn't want his remembrance to be like this.

/End