I felt between a dream and reality. I could still feel the tree pressing against my back, every knot and twist of bark noticeable, yet my head was clouded and my eyes shut with heavy eyelids.

I couldn't pinpoint an emotion for this moment. My chest was light and my stomach heavy. My skin was cold and yet my insides were on fire. My heart beat somewhere in my throat and my hands were folded neatly over my belly.

Walking helped, but I couldn't move. Feelings were so overrated, yet I succumbed to them everyday.

I loved him.

"Hey, the meeting is about to start!"

I glared around the tree. Hidan stood there, grinning like the devil himself. I let my hands fall, my cloak falling from where it had been pressed for so long, it once again hid what it had to. I walked towards him, hoping he would turn around and go inside before I got to him. Of course not.

"So, you haven't been on a mission lately, huh?"

"Well, Konoha is still under the impression I am disposed-of," he grinned. "Plus I no longer have a partner."

"That can be easily taken care of."

We stepped inside. As the only woman in the organization, I knew eyes were on me even if my body was hidden by this massive cloak. Anyways, if they saw what was under it, most would lose their lunch in surprise. I refrained from touching my belly, but there was a definite urge to do so. Even as the only woman, not all eyes were on me all of the time. I often saw eyes on Deidara, the youngest of the Akatsuki. He was not very tall, about my height in fact, and lithe. Plus he was gorgeous as hell, with long, blonde hair to top it off! I found eyes, including my own, staring at him and his every feature. His stunning cerulean eyes, however, were reserved only for Itachi. I liked musing with this idea, the two youngest and, by coincidence, the most attractive members of the Akatsuki were caught up in a little romance. Of course this was absurd considering Itachi had eyes for no one, nor, as far as anyone could tell, the drive to have an affair with anyone. After all, he was very ill, little to the knowledge of most members.

Everyone was gathered now. Nagato-san was up on his apparatus, the likes of which I had learned to despise. It had weaned him of his chakra, causing him to look thin and deathly.

"Now that everyone is here, let us get to the matters at hand." When Nagato spoke, I listened, except during meetings. Everything discussed he had already confided in me long before. He trusted me.

I was sure…he loved me.

Too.

When the meeting was over, I approached him. I hadn't even noticed that he had asked Itachi to remain behind.

"Itachi, are you aware I was contacted by your brother?"

"I was not aware," Itachi looked surprised for a moment.

"Yes, he wishes to join the Akatsuki. He and two comrades."

What? How could I have not known of this!

"He contacted me using a shadow clone two nights ago. He claims he is very close and I believe him."

"Thank you," Itachi bowed and left. His eyes caught mine for a second; I thought he could see straight into my mind. There was a glimmer I could not label, as if he knew something important but wished to keep it for his own devices.

"Nagato-san, what do you intend to do?"

"Hmm," he closed his eyes. Concealing the rinnegan, his much feared kekkei genkai. "I think I will let them join. I told him I would send him word. He shouldn't be hard to find."

I nodded, and turned to leave.

"Konan," I stopped and turned, my heart high in my chest. "How many months is it again?"

"Going on eight," without the prying eyes of the subordinates upon me, I placed my hand on my belly.

As Nagato said, they were not hard to find. Itachi's brother was easy to tell apart. The only other younger person there had pale whitish-blue hair and purple eyes. Sasuke was tall, raven-haired, and had the same detached dark eyes. Plus he was devilishly handsome, like his brother, though in a less subtle way.

"Uchiha Sasuke," he stepped foreword. "Nagato-san has sent me to inform you that he has decided you and your fellows may join the Akatsuki. I am to lead you to our hideout." I turned without further word and led them through the woods. It wasn't far, but I tire easily in my state. When we were inside I led them to Nagato's chamber.

"Very good," I smiled and went to take my place at Nagato's side. "Konan, will you please leave us?"

I was startled to say the least. I left, casting a furtive glare at Sasuke. My eyes met with the older teammate. He was a tall, dark man, with a more chiseled handsome appearance versus the soft beauty of the Uchiha boys. I stared at him for a moment, a stare he returned. My heart was decieving me! Beating this way for some lowly stranger, the only person worthy of this feeling was my Nagato! I turned my head sharply, letting my hair swing and brush across my face. I was merely exhausted, and confused by Nagato's sudden clandestine behavior. I left to my quarters, I needed a nap anyways.

…

Something had definitely changed. A week had passed since that night in the woods, when I rejected Sasuke's devious and restrained silent offer to make love, if you can call it love, off somewhere deep in the trees away from the campsite. At first I thought I offended him and he was punishing me. But since we found the Akatsuki, more has come up. He is not as short with me, or as demanding. He is more omnipresent in his orders, which I and Zabuza-senpai follow instantly.

And his eyes.

They are like those of a madman on occasion. He will stare unblinkingly at a plant, muttering under his breath. And then smile wickedly as if he shared a secret with that plant, one that may cause much pain and distress to someone. I feared that someone would be me.

On that note, he had touched me only once. We were walking, he allowed Zabuza to get ahead of him, and he dragged back next to me. I knew he was staring, and for the first time it creeped me out. I wanted to be anywhere but there. He reached out and touched my face, causing my neck to go rigid. His fingers were so cold! He then smiled widely, which I saw from the corner of my eye, and caught back up to Zabuza who lagged back once he saw Sasuke. Zabuza looked back at me, I couldn't tell what emotion he had, but I knew he felt the change too.

It terrified me. And this terror, as new as it seemed, was so hauntingly familiar.