- Chapter 25 -
Thane placed the last weapon on the table before him. He glanced to his right to the clock that sat on the nightstand beside the bed. It had been several hours since he entered the cabin. Cleaning both Alexis and his weapons had taken longer than he had anticipated. His stomach grumbled. He arched a brow, yet another indication that a significant amount of time had passed. He stood and stretched. His stomach grumbled again. Clearly he was hungrier than he had realized. He wondered about Alexis. Where could she be? Was she still in briefings? He hoped not. If she was constantly buried in briefings, it was no wonder she never found time to sleep, let alone relax. But he knew how important she was to this war. Alexis was a symbol of hope - his symbol of hope. She had to be at her best because only with her leading the effort would they destroy the Reapers. He knew she was the key as she had been when they had pursued the collectors. With that thought at the forefront Thane left the cabin headed to deck 3 and the mess. He needed to eat. He would gather a meal for Alexis as well. He was certain she had likely not had opportunity to eat.
Alexis entered her cabin rubbing her neck. The tension of a headache was beginning to threaten. She just wanted to sit, close her eyes and think of nothing for a while, but she knew she couldn't. There were just too many damned things to do. She descended the steps and found Thane sitting on the sofa reading. He glanced up when she appeared. Thane stared at her for a moment an odd shadow clouding his eyes. She wondered what he was thinking. Whatever it was he didn't appear to want to share because he sat up to address her. "I brought you a meal, though I feel it has grown cold."
Alexis stifled a sigh. Another meal gone cold, this was hardly something new. And what was worse was that she didn't even have time for that. "Thanks, but I have to get back to CIC."
Thane cocked his head to the side and studied her. "When did you last eat?"
Alexis let out a slow breath as she made her way to her desk. "I don't know. This morning," she offered as she began rifling through data pads.
"If you have not eaten since this morning then you must be famished," Thane remarked.
Alexis continued to focus on her task. She'd been reviewing a report on fleet movements in the galaxy and had added some notes. She knew the data pad was here somewhere.
"Siha," Thane prompted when she didn't answer.
Alexis shrugged. "I'm fine Thane," she offered as she pulled another stack of data pads to search.
"You do not eat. You do not sleep. Your body will cease to function."
"It hasn't yet," Alexis murmured, tossing aside another data pad. Thane reached out an arm and turned Alexis to face him. Alexis let out an exasperated breath. "What Thane?"
Thane quirked a curious brow at her remark. In their time together Thane had helped Alexis relax. Had heard her happy and content. He had even made her angry but never annoyed. He could honestly say she had never once made him feel as though he was a hindrance, yet that was exactly her behavior now. Thankfully he loved her too deeply to allow her to push him away. "I would have no need to press the issue if you would but take the necessary time to care for yourself."
Alexis rolled her eyes and turned back to the desk once again rifling through the stack of data pads. Her reaction incited Thane's annoyance. Letting that annoyance show, was in all likelihood, an unwise choice however. He took a deep breath to banish the annoyance. "Why not take a bath to refresh yourself. I will procure another meal for you while you do," Thane offered quietly.
"I don't have time," Alexis answered absently. Thane's patients began to wear thin. He had to find a way to convince her to carve out some time for herself. Clearly he was going about this the wrong way. Taking a step back he turned and moved to the sofa. He would find a way to get her to settle even if only for a few hours. "As you wish," he muttered as he sat, closed his eyes and began to meditate.
Alexis heard Thane's soft response. She closed her eyes as her chest tightened. She didn't want to push him away but the constant nagging had begun to grate. She was fine. She knew her limitations and she knew she was nowhere near her breaking point. Didn't he understand? She was doing what had to be done to destroy the Reapers so they could have a future, so the universe could have a future. So she missed a few meals and some sleep. It was a small price to pay. And as much as she wanted to stay in this room with him, the memory of what had happened before still made her cringe. She didn't want Thane to suffer like that again. And she knew the moment they got going someone would interrupt. It would happen and she wouldn't do that to him again. No, unless she could guarantee they wouldn't be disturbed, it wouldn't happen. Thankfully the bond had weakened between them. As it was she ached for him. If the bond were still strong she wouldn't be able to hold back.
Alexis turned to find Thane sitting on the sofa meditating. She wanted to go to him to give him a gentle kiss if nothing else. But she knew herself well enough to know it would defiantly not end there. Stifling a sigh of frustration Alexis left the cabin.
Thane stood in the port observation lounge absently watching the stars blaze by. After his disagreement with Alexis he had tried to mediate. He and Alexis had had disagreements in the past. Some so severe that she had even tried to cut ties to him. But through all those instances he had known who she was, her place in his life. Their bond had been strong then. But now, now all was altered. Their bond was weak and he could make no sense of it. He knew he loved her and he knew she loved him, yet the urgency he had once felt was absent. This knowledge served to only confuse him. Should the bond not be almost overwhelming due to the fact that they loved each other? Or perhaps the urgency of the bond was no longer necessary because of his love for her. He knew now there was nothing that could take place that would pull him her from him. He loved Alexis more than life itself. He would never leave her and he would never allow her to leave him.
Thane let out a long suffering sigh. Or rather he would do all in his power to keep her at his side. If he had learned one thing of his Siha it was that she was a woman of her own mind. No one forced Alexis Shepard to do something she did not want to do, which meant he had to convince her to want to be with him. Thane turned from the window. And the first thing he had to do in convincing Alexis they belonged together was get her to admit she loved him. Thane stifled a frown. Easier said than done, he thought as he left the lounge.
Thane entered the hallway intending to go back to deck one and wait for Alexis. He had no idea how he would convince her to admit she loved him. But before he could try to convince her of anything he needed to be with her and he needed them to be on good terms again.
Thane passed the crew quarters just as an ensign was exiting. His ears perked when he heard his Siha's deep sultry voice. He stopped and glanced into the interior of the room. He spotted her instantly. She sat facing the man before her. Thane's blood began to boil. Major Alenko was that man. So Alexis had time to sit and converse with the major but no time to share a meal with her own mate? Fury raged through him. Why would Alexis do this, choose to keep her distance from him while finding time for the major, a man so obviously in love with her? Did she not see how the major felt for her? Did she not realize how she would disappoint him when the major finally discovered Alexis was already mated? Mated to Thane. Thane clinched his jaw. Or was he the one who was being deceived? Was it he who believed Alexis loved him when she in fact felt nothing?
Insecurity saturated his veins. The sensation made his skin crawl. Thane had no insecurities. He was confidence in the extreme and the attention paid by the major to his Siha would not wreck that. Striding purposefully, Thane moved down the hallway toward the life support room, the room he had found peace in, the room where his life had changed forever.
- Chapter 26 -
Steve entered the life support room and froze when he saw the Drell standing, starring at the thermal coverings over the windows to the drive core. He scowled at the male. Why the hell did he have to be here? Steve didn't want to talk to the guy. His dislike for him hadn't changed since meeting him. Steve had been surprised when Shepard had appeared with him the day before. It had taken everything in Steve not to show his distaste for the male. But he had been with Shepard and Steve had great respect for their Commander so he had stowed his attitude and boarded the shuttle.
Steve had watched the Drell closely. He may be Shepard's guest but if he stepped even a toe out of line Steve would have been on him like white on rice. But the Drell hadn't done anything inappropriate. Actually it was almost like he wasn't even there. The Drell rarely spoke and always hung back, keeping himself separate from the others. Steve swallowed again. Why bother being here at all he mused darkly as he moved deeper into the room. Maybe Steve would get lucky and Krios's behavior would hold true and he would ignore Steve like he seemed to ignore everyone else.
"Lieutenant Cortez," Thane greeted. Steve stifled an annoyed growl. Well apparently Steve's luck had run out. "Krios," he answered moving to the supply crates. Steve cursed silently. He wouldn't even be here if he hadn't received the requisition from Shepard for the new rifle she had him order. She had ordered it weeks ago and had never made mention of it again until late yesterday. He rifled through the crates searching for the precision sniper. He wondered if Shepard wanted the rifle to give to the man currently sharing the life support room with him. The thought angered Steve. This guy didn't deserve her gifts. His anger raging through him he stood and faced the Drell. "Why are you here," he growled.
Thane turned and pinned curious eyes on Steve. "This was once my quarters. I had not realized it is now off limits."
Thane's feigned ignorance served to incite Steve's anger more. "I mean aboard Normandy. Shepard doesn't need you. She's Alliance N7. There is no one better trained or more capable. And even if that weren't the case she has a damned good crew. She doesn't need you. So why don't you just go back to your wife. I'm sure she needs you more than Shepard ever will."
Thane blinked. "Go back to my wife?"
Steve clinched his jaw angrily at the man's obtuseness. "Yes your Drell wife, on your home planet," he growled.
Thane quirked his head to the side studying Steve. His calm was really beginning to piss Steve off. Steve watched the man exhale slowly. "I am here, lieutenant, because I will do anything to help Alexis. And I assure you my Drell wife, has no need of me. Nor has she since the day she was murdered these ten years past."
Steve felt the words like a biotic punch to the gut. "Murdered," he muttered still shaken.
"Slavers," Thane answered. "They were searching for a method to do me harm. They chose to slaughter Irikah instead."
Steve blinked at the statement. Slavers had killed Thane's wife because of him. How can he be so calm about it? If Steve's husband had been killed because of Steve he's pretty sure it would have torn him apart. "What kind of freak are you," Steve accused. "Your wife is murdered because of you and you talk about it likes it's an everyday thing. Or maybe it is for you. You are an assassin after all," Steve spit out like he was riding himself of something vile.
Thane for his part remailed infuriatingly calm. Steve was barely holding his fury in check. He was throwing accusations at a male he barely knew. And said male was hardly bothered by them. How could Shepard love this guy?
"I assure you, Lieutenant, Irikah's murder was no simple thing. For many years it was my sole focus, serving those who had done the deed their due. But ten years have since passed. I have grown, changed. I have met an amazing woman. My existence is altered. I will forever grieve Irikah, however the gods have chosen a new path for me. They truly blessed me when they placed Alexis in that path."
Steve watched Thane as his expression softened. It was a slight change but his calm facade had cracked and it was because of Shepard.
"How did you come to learn of Irikah. Few know of her."
Steve blinked. He hadn't realized Shepard had been sharing private information. But Thane didn't seem angry only curious. "Shepard told me. She was explaining where you had been before you appeared on the Citadel," Steve answered hoping he wasn't betraying Shepard's confidence.
Thane inclined his head in acknowledgment. "I had learned of the impending threat to Kahje. I wanted to do what I could for Irakah's family. They are all that is left of her and I felt I owed it to her memory. I am uncertain it was the wise choice however."
Steve frowned. "What do you mean?" Steve watched as the Drell swallowed, contemplating his answer. Thane wasn't sure if he should be speaking to Steve about private matters Steve guessed. Thane cleared his throat, making his choice. "I made a vow to always be beside Alexis. To do what needed to be done to keep her safe, happy. I broke that vow in an attempt to do good. The result was that Alexis saved my people, my home planet, Irikah's family. I was left with a broken vow."
Thane opened up to Steve and it was all Steve could do not to gape at the man. It's true he hardly knew the guy, knew almost nothing about his background or the kind of person he was. But what Steve had seen told him that this Drell, Thane Krios, was a very private male. That meant Thane's admission just now was probably not normal behavior for him. Worse still was Steve guessed he was admitting failure, in a roundabout way. And he was sharing this all with Steve. He couldn't help it. Steve's opinion of Thane jumped a few notches. It was pretty obvious Thane loved Shepard and he thought he had failed her. Steve couldn't contradict him either. "Look I don't know Shepard well. We shared a few moments. She comforted me during a difficult time and I tried to do the same for her."
"Difficult time," Thane asked.
Steve cleared his throat unsure of how to answer or even what to answer. Finally he decided on the truth. After all Thane seemed to be speaking honestly. He deserved the same in return from Steve. "I found Shepard in this room not long after you were injured and were staying at Huerta."
"Did you," Thane asked glancing around avoiding Steve's gaze.
"She was pretty pissed," Steve added.
Thane's head whipped around to face Steve. Steve blinked at the sudden movement. That was probably the first real sign of animation Steve had seen from the guy. Clearly the idea of Shepard angry with him struck a nerve. "She was angry you had almost gotten yourself killed. She still thought you were dying at the time."
Thane nodded slowly. "Yes I did not have opportunity to inform her of my health until she returned," Thane answered his tone quite, regretful.
Steve took pity on the guy. His feelings for Shepard were clear. Steve already knew Shepard loved Thane. And he would bet all his Alliance pay things were not right between the two. "Shepard loves you Thane."
Thane faced Steve wide eyed. "She said these words to you?"
Steve stifled a grimace. No she hadn't said so to Steve and apparently she hadn't said as much to Thane either if his question was any indication. Steve gulped, hoping he wasn't completely overstepping his bounds. "No she didn't say those exact words."
Thane arched a brow. Steve knew Thane was questioning his statement. "When I found her she looked sad. When I started to talk to her, questioning her about this room she talked about you. It wasn't what she said but how she said it. It was when she became angry that I knew for sure. Only someone with deep feelings for another would get that angry when the person they care about puts their life in danger. Believe me, she may not say it, but she feels it. Shepard loves you."
Thane turned to stare at the thermal coverings again. "Alexis and I discovered each other during a challenging time, an uncertain time. We shared a bond. It was a unique connection that is rarely shared among two individuals. During our time together I have never questioned her feelings for me. Now, however, close to a year later, there is little I am certain of."
Steve watched Thane's back. The Drell stood ramrod stiff but his words, his tone, they were full of regret, even a little insecurity, definitely sadness. Steve felt for the guy. If what he had heard was true, Shepard and Thane were together before she was locked up by HQ. They had been apart for moths, with zero contact. Then she gets out and they go through a series of events, miscommunications and now what was a sure thing had become a practice in awkward acceptance. At least that's how it appeared. But there was more Steve knew. Shepard and Thane wouldn't admit the truth even to each other and that was the main problem. And to add insult to injury this entire situation had to be screwing with Shepard. She had enough shit to deal with. The one thing right should be the relationship she shared with the man she loved. "Look Thane I don't know you. I barely know Shepard. But I'm pretty good at sizing up a situation. This war is tearing this universe apart. Shepard is trying damned hard to hold it together by shear will. She needs her crew to be willing to do anything and everything. She can't hold even a single doubt in what we are willing to do, our loyalty to her. She needs that from you too."
Thane turned to face Steve, a curious gleam in his eyes. "You love Shepard. And at one time the bond between you was strong. You need to do whatever the hell it takes to make it strong again," Steve said his tone hard, commanding. "Convince her you love her, that you belong together. Give her a reason to win this damned war," Steve all but shouted.
Thane's expression hardened. Steve gulped realizing he had probably gone too far. He did barely know this man after all. But Steve couldn't regret his words. This guy was Shepard's lover. If there was anyone who could give Shepard a little peace it was this guy. Or so Steve hoped because if Shepard was going to win this war, she'd need a damned good reason, a personal reason. Hopefully Thane was that reason.
Slowly Thane unclenched his jaw. After a few moments he inclined his head. "You are right," he murmured softly then abruptly left the room.
Steve let out a long slow breath. He could only hope that was determination he had glimpsed in the Drell's eyes.
- Chapter 27 -
Alexis entered her cabin her mind buzzing with thoughts. All the things she still had to do, the reports she still had to follow up on, the places she wanted to check into. There were simply not enough hours in the day and that was that she had been foregoing anything and everything just to free up time. Her eyes blurred causing her to stumble. She cursed silently as she righted herself. The change of lighting had thrown her off she argued to herself. So maybe she was a little tired. But she was fine. It wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed with a strong cup of coffee or maybe stimulant.
Slowly Alexis descended the few steps to the cabin proper still not completely confidant of her footing. She found Thane sitting on the sofa reading. He glanced up when she appeared. "Good book," she asked as she made her way to her foot locker. She wanted to climb onto the sofa beside him and snuggle in his arms. But she was pretty sure she probably wouldn't want to move again if she did. No, what she needed was a shower, then back to CIC. She might visit Chackwas for a stimulant before that though.
"I have brought a meal for you," Thane said softly.
Alexis stifled a grimace as she sat on the bed. She knew Thane was trying. He wanted to help her, support her. But what she needed was understanding and strength, a never give up type of attitude. That was the only thing that would keep them alive. As much as she loved him she could not afford to soften. If she softened her resolve even a fraction she would crumble under the pressure. And she would not let that happen. "I don't have time," she responded, her tone sharper than she'd intended.
"I see," Thane remarked softly. Alexis swallowed her cringe. She was pushing him away again she knew. She wished he would understand how important it was that she try to stay ahead of this damned war. It wasn't that she was trying to drive a wedge between them. She just simply did not have time. "Perhaps I should ask Major Alenko to procure you a meal instead. Him you seem to have time for."
Alexis snorted drily. Where had that come from? And what kind of silly response was that anyway? She ignored the comment and continued pulling clothes out of her locker.
"I wonder. Does Major Alenko know he has little opportunity with you? That you are already mated?"
Alexis froze. Little opportunity with her? Kaidan? Kaidan was a crew member, a friend, a close friend. Was Thane implying she was having a thing with Kaidan? She turned to face Thane. She couldn't believe Thane didn't trust her. She was highly insulted by the knowledge.
Thane arched a brow, reinforcing his question. Rage rolled through Alexis. How could he believe she and Kaidan had a thing? Good God she barely had time to have a thing with Thane. Besides she has been faithful. Hell she probably could have strayed when Thane disappeared, writing him off as leaving her or already dead. But she hadn't. She had stayed true. She'd been locked up for six months, then fighting this damned war since being released. When the hell was she supposed to have developed a thing with Kaidan? Did she like having Kaidan around? Sure she did. She kenw she could trust Kaidan and needed that kind of faith right now. Unlike Thane who had abandoned her when she needed him most. Her fury continued to rage. "There is nothing between me and Kaidan. He is loyal to me. He's willing to go above and beyond for me. He," she emphasized the word, "would die for me."
Thane's brows rose. "He would die for you. Unlike, perhaps, someone like me," he challenged.
Alexis stalked to Thane. She didn't want to have this argument right now, but it was bound to happen eventually. "He was there for me when I needed him most. He was there when my world was burning. He was there when I had to watch Mordin die. Where were you," she bit out.
Thane reached out to her. "Siha," he began but she cut him off as the rage coursed white hot through her. "You weren't there Thane. You were too busy, off saving what's left of your dead wife, while your mate," she spat out, the word distasteful in her mouth, "was doing all she could to stay alive and keep it together.
Alexis was seeing red. She had tried to forgive Thane for choosing his dead wife over her. After all, their entire relationship had been whirlwind, their lives always on the precipice of a great chasm, the fall of which would most assuredly tear them apart in death. They had tried to forge something lasting. She had convinced herself that they were forever. Time and a whole lot of tragedy later, she was coming to realize there was no such thing as forever. "I thought this was what I needed Thane, that you being here was the best thing. But I'm just not sure anymore," she said into the bleak silence. "Since you've been here nothing has changed for me," she added. She cocked her head to the side contemplating that last. She turned to face him. "No that's not entirely true. Things have changed. You think I'm capable of having an affair with one of my crew." Thane watched Alexis his body relaxed, his expression calm. The appearance did nothing to sooth her. "Maybe it's time we went our separate ways," she said softly. She felt her stomach clinch in response. She watched as Thane exhaled deeply. She wondered if he would agree. She wondered if she even wanted him to.
"Do you recall the day you boarded the shuttle to go on the fateful mission that resulted in you being incarcerated?"
Alexis frowned as Thane shifted gears on her. "Yeah, I remember. I remember you weren't happy about being left behind," she answered.
Thane's lips quirked ever so slightly. "No I was none too happy to be watching you go. As I watched the shuttle depart it occurred to me that must have been how Irikah always felt when I left her. For once in my life I knew what it was to be left behind by the person you love. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I learned how very much I had disappointed Irikah. I had failed her in the most grievous way. I had caused her death."
Alexis felt her fury cool. Thane never admitted failure. He was confidant and accepted the consequences of his actions. As brutal as it was to say, Irikah's death was an unfortunate consequence of Thane's occupation. Something he should accept. But now he was telling her he hadn't. That he had, in fact, failed his dead wife.
"When we were separated I thought of nothing but you," Thane continued. "I would have lost myself completely in my memories if not for Kolyat." Thane smiled fondly at the mention of his son. "I took comfort in his company and felt you beside me always for I knew I would not be reconciled with him if not for you. You are my life Siha – my future. I have always known this, accepted it, craved it. However, when word of the threat to Kahje reached me I felt compelled to do what I could. Irikah had given her life because of me. I believed the least I could do to honor her memory was protect those she had once loved. I had no idea of the attack to your world and by the time news reached me I was so far deeply hidden I could not leave. I, of course, know better now. I should have left Kahje and come to you immediately. I believed I was doing what was right. Never would I have imagined the turn of events that took place. Or that you would believe I had chosen Irikah over you."
Alexis spun on her heel as Thane voiced the one thing that had cut her so deeply she wasn't sure what would heal it. She hated herself for allowing him to do that to her. That kind of pain implied weakness and she wasn't weak – she couldn't afford to be.
"If you believe anything believe that I love you. I did not choose Irikah over you."
Thane's statement made the gaping would inside her flair, the torn edges burning hot and fester in agony. It hurt like nothing she'd ever experienced before. What was worse was she didn't know what hurt more. Knowing he had chosen Irikah over or or him laying himself at her feet, pouring his soul out to her to prove he hadn't. She couldn't deal with this. She needed the anger back. The rage always kept her sure footed. Kaidan, it had all started because of Kaidan.
Alexis rounded on Thane. "You say you love me but you're awful quick to accuse me of having an affair with Kaidan," she spit out, feeling the now familiar fury saturate her veins.
Thane for his part remained calm, refusing to rise to her baiting. The reaction served to incite Alexis more. Before she could rip into him he shook his head slowly. "I did not accuse you of being unfaithful. Rather, I asked if Major Alenko knew of your commitment."
Alexis scowled. "Why would it even matter if he knew?"
"Perhaps he would not pursue you so ardently, love you as deeply, if he knew."
Alexis froze and blinked. Kaidan didn't have those kinds of feelings about her – did he? Interactions with Kaidan replayed in her mind. All the times he had sought her out for no reason, when he would place himself in harm's way to protect her, how he was always there even she didn't need him. She had always thought it was because he was loyal. He had watched her die once after all. "Kaidan doesn't love me," she argued. But the words sounded hollow even to her. "Kaidan doesn't love me," she repeated with more conviction.
Thane inclined his head slowly. "I am relieved. I would not wish the heartache on anyone, even one who clearly had no liking for me."
Alexis frowned at the comment. Did Kaidan dislike Thane? Did it matter? Wasn't it better that she and Thane went their separate ways? "Kaidan is my crewmate, my subordinate. There is nothing between us. But that really doesn't change anything. I think we should discuss you leaving the ship." Alexis felt her chest pinch at the statement. She ignored the sensation. She watched as Thane's lips pulled into a seductive smile. Her stomach bottomed out. Oh crap she thought. Thane indifferent, Thane annoyed, hell even Thane angry she could handle. Thane seductive, she wasn't so sure.
"There is nothing to discuss. I will not be leaving your side, not now, not ever," Thane murmured as he slowly approached her.
Alexis steeled herself for Thane's onslaught. She knew he was about to try to seduce her into agreeing with him, allowing him to stay. But to what purpose? Things were not as they had been during their mission to destroy the Collectors. Every day was spent putting out some sort of fire or another. She had zero down time. Hell she barely had time to use the bathroom, let alone time to try to cultivate a relationship. No, Thane had to go. If he loved her he'd accept that. And maybe after this war was over they could give it another go.
Alexis took a step back, shaking her head. "There is no point in you staying Thane. We are holding on to what we once had with a thin thread. The bond is broken. There is little left," she argued as Thane began to advance.
Thane stood before Alexis, close, so close she could smell his musky scent, dry earth and sandalwood. That's what Thane always smelled like. The scent set her senses to tingling.
"I agree all is not as it once was. Our world has changed and we have changed with it. But here," Thane laid a warm hand on her chest over her heart. "And here," he continued as he placed his other hand on his chest above his heart, "nothing has changed. Our souls are still one, our bond still true."
Alexis could barely breathe. She and Thane hadn't been this close since that disastrous afternoon when she had been forced to leave him rampant and needy. The memory was like a bucket of ice water. She never wanted that to happen again and she knew it would. Alexis tried to steel herself against the effect Thane was having on her. Frantically she searched her m ind for a valid reason why he should go. "You said yourself the universe has changed, that we've changed. There's no room for a relationship in this altered universe of ours. Not now, not until the Reapers are destroyed," she breathed barely getting the words out because Thane had wrapped his arms around her and was nibbling his way down her neck. He was not playing fair. She couldn't think when he did that to her. "Thane stop," she argued weakly.
Thane suckled her neck in that spot that always sent bolts of lightning through her body. Alexis barely stifled a whimper as her body began to heat.
"Do you still wish me to leave?"
Alexis closed her eyes tipping her head to the side giving him better access. "Yes," she breathed.
Thane nibbled up her neck to her ear. "Tell me your body doesn't quicken in need when I touch you, that your blood doesn't heat with want, that your mind doesn't scream that I give you what only I can, all of me."
Alexis felt her breathing saw in her chest, every inhale taking in more of Thane, heating her blood, firing her body until her mind begged he finish her, make her whole. "Thane," she moaned, her resolve crumbling like a fragile dandelion, all its petals blown away in the face of a forceful wind. Thane was that wind, blowing her petals in the exact direction he wanted them to go. No she couldn't tell him he didn't affect her because he did. That hadn't changed but was it enough? Alexis quickly realized she didn't care, that all she wanted, all she had ever wanted was this, Thane, all to herself. She wrapped her arms around Thane pulling him in closer, desperate to have him. Alexis kissed Thane like a woman starved and he was her meal.
Thane broke the kiss and pulled her tightly against him, his head resting against hers. "I love you Alexis. I will never leave you," he breathed, his voice ragged, full of emotion.
Alexis closed her eyes as emotion chocked her. She felt the sensation flow through her, healing the jagged edges of her pain, her sense of betrayal. She felt Thane give her a gentle squeeze, then pull back to face her. "I understand you have a multitude of duties to attend to, but for this night, take a meal with me. Lay your head to rest beside mine. For one night let us be as we once had been."
Alexis glanced down to their twined hands unable to face him. She wanted to give him what he asked for but she knew she couldn't.
Thane picked up on her reluctance. "One night," he asked quietly.
Alexis let out a breath slowly. "I can't promise you that. It's out of my control. I never know when something will come up."
Alexis felt Thane nod. "Agreed, should you be summoned you must go. I will not stand in the way of your duties Siha. I want only to support you as your mate. Part of that support is ensuring you care for yourself, that you eat and sleep."
Alexis glanced up to see sincerity in Thane's deeply soulful eyes. Could she say no to him? Alexis had always believed herself a strong woman, clearly not strong enough to deny this man. Nodding she allowed Thane to pull her toward the sofa and her first sit down mean in weeks.
- Chapter 28 -
Thane's eyes sprang open. He turned his head to his right. He could feel the heat from Alexis, a comfort he hadn't felt in months. It was a pleasure he had begun to fear he would never feel again. He watched her as she slumbered. Something he had also wondered if he would ever see again. He was glad she had fallen asleep, even though it had meant another night without her. But she had needed rest, certainly more than he needed their lovemaking. He knew in time they would be together again. In time, he mused, as he closed his eyes and deepened his breathing, slowing his heartbeat, slipping into a meditative state.
Alexis mumbled. Thane's eyes sprang open again. It wasn't the words but the tone she used. Alexis sounded distressed, afraid. Thane lifted up on an elbow concerned. Alexis never sounded thus. He gazed down at her quickly realizing she was still deeply asleep. Alexis muttered something again, her body tensing. Thane's concern grew. He leaned down and kissed her temple, hoping to wake her out of her restless dream. Alexis stirred but did not wake. Thane's concern morphed into distress. He could feel her body temperature rising, small beads of sweat forming on her brown and elsewhere on her body. Worse yet she would not wake. He knew whatever she dreamed disturbed her greatly. He wanted to help her, needed to help her. He knew he had to do something, something that would change her focus. He couldn't get through to her mind. That left him one option.
Thane quickly discarded his clothes and lay beside Alexis. He slipped his right arm beneath her torso and wrapped his left around her stomach pulling her snugly against his chest. Thane groaned at the wonderful feel of his Siha in his arms again. His concern quickly morphed into desire. Thane reached for her breast searching for her nipple, that lovely little pebble that brought them both such pleasure. Alexis bucked in his arms still muttering, her heat singing him.
Urgency snaked through Thane. He latched onto her let nipple with his fingers, gently twisting the wonderful little nub. Gently he slipped the fingers of his right hand down her stomach to her core searching. He hoped his touch would break through her nightmare, that her body would react even if her mind did not.
Thane groaned when he felt her core coated with desire. He couldn't wait any longer. He had ached for Alexis for so very long. Yes he felt some guilt that the first time he had her she would be unconscious. But he was doing it to help her. Or so he told himself as he lifted her leg rubbing his hardness against her core. Thane buried his face in her neck, the sensations pushing him perilously close to the edge. But he knew he had to hold on. Alexis had to feel the desire build. He didn't want to simply chase her nightmare away. He wanted to obliterate its hold on her completely.
Thane began suckling her neck as he pinched her nipple. He felt her arch her back. She was indeed responding. He couldn't hold on any longer. He slipped himself into Alexis, his eyes closed tightly at the exquisite feel of her. He buried himself to the hilt groaning into her neck. There was nothing more glorious than the feel of Alexis wrapped so intimately around him. Thane pushed into Alexis in long slow strokes caressing the center of her pleasure as he did. He felt Alexis tremble in his arms as the desire exploded inside her. But it wasn't enough. He wanted her squirming and when he made her climax he wanted her to cry out. He wanted the intensity to be so great she would not hold back as he knew he could not.
Thane pulled out of Alexis almost completely then pushed into her slowly, deeply. He latched onto her neck sucking hard, his fingers pinching her nipple, his other rubbing against her core. He was desperate, he couldn't hold out much longer. Thane felt Alexis tremble in his arms again, her core tightening around him. He groaned against her neck. She was close, so very close. And he knew the moment she went over the edge she would take him with her.
Alexis arched her back taking him deeper, moaning his name. Thane's body tightened, every nerve ending on fire. He felt his climax straining to break free. He could feel his essence battering his senses, struggling for release, release into Alexis, into his mate.
"Thane," Alexis breathed reaching back to wrap her arm around his head, trapping his lips against her neck. She was awake and so very close. Thane pushed into her, quickening his pace. He felt Alexis tighten around him, her core begging he give her what his entire body strained to hold in check until she shattered.
Alexis stiffened in Thane's arms, her glorious body tightening its hold on him. Thane continued his pace as Alexis shattered in his arms. Thane's breathing sawed in his chest, every muscle in his body straining, knowing he was on the cusp, that he was about to explode into his mate, that she would receive him, take him fully.
Thane's climax slammed into him, stealing his breath. Thane shot into Alexis, the pleasure indescribable. His heart ached from the beauty, the intensity. "I love you." The words ragged, torn from his very soul.
Thane buried his face in her neck inhaling of her essence, feeling her heart beat furiously, her body still trembling in his arms, her core still convulsing around him. By the gods how he cherished this woman, the woman who made him whole, the woman who was his reason for living. He wanted to stay with her thus, his arms wrapped around her, keeping her safe from anything that would trouble her. But he knew he couldn't. She had a war to win and her skin was likely already beginning to rash.
Thane nuzzled Alexis's neck then reluctantly released her. "Go bathe while I prepare your ointment."
Alexis turned on her back and reached up for him. Thane knew he should let her go, that he shouldn't exasperate her rash further. But it had been so long since he had simply enjoyed her thus, lazily, even lovingly. Alexis kissed him slowly, tenderly. Thane felt his soul melt. This was how it was meant to be between them. But he knew there was a war raging and a universe to save and Alexis was their savior. With herculean effort Thane pulled away from Alexis. He gave her nose a gentle peck. "Go and bathe. The rash is primarily on your back. I will help you apply it then bathe while you apply the rest."
"I don't have ointment," Alexis replied still caressing Thane's face softly. Thane could feel himself slipping. If he stayed in this bed with her he would claim her again. And, though they had yet to be interrupted, he knew it was but a matter of time. And he most definitely did not want to repeat their last encounter. Unpleasant did not begin to describe the discomfort he had felt.
Stifling a grimace he gave Alexis a quick peck then climbed out of bed. "I brought ointment with me," he offered standing to pull on his cotton briefs. He turned and faced Alexis. He found her in bed, propped up by the elbows, a wicked smirk curving her lips. "I like the new wardrobe," she purred.
Thane felt his member stir. By the gods he was barely holding his desire in check. If she continued to look at him in such a seductive manner he would climb back into bed and smother that smirk with kisses and it wouldn't stop there he knew. Instead he reached out a hand to her. "Come, you must bathe before the ointment can be applied."
"Or you could just come back to bed," Alexis answered her tone firing his blood further.
Thane let his arm drop taking deep calming breaths. "Nothing would please me more than to spend the entirety of this day tangled in your arms. But…" He couldn't finish. He saw the disappointment in her gaze. "Siha…"
Alexis hopped out of bed cutting him off. "I understand Thane. And you're right. We get going again and odds are someone will interrupt. I'll have to leave you straining again and that's not fair to you."
"Siha," Thane began again. He did not like to be left without release but he certainly did not want her to believe he did not want her because of the possibility. He would be left wanting for eternity if it meant keeping her happy.
Alexis stood before him. She took his face between her hands gently stroking. "I hating leaving you like that Thane. I want so much for us to be together, for us to both enjoy the pleasure. And as amazing as it is what you do to me, it's not worth it if you are left without. I want to stay in this room with you and try to make up for all those months we were apart. But my time isn't mine."
Thane wrapped Alexis in his arms. It probably was not the wisest choice as he was still struggling with his desire for her. But he had to hold her. He could hear the hint of despair in her tone. After their argument of the night before, when she wanted them to part ways, he was overjoyed she wanted him so urgently. But the tone cut him to the quick. He never wanted her to doubt him - them. "We are together Siha that is what matters. We will see one another daily. But simply knowing you are near is enough."
Alexis gently stroked his face nodding. Thane watched as Alexis gulped, stroked his face once more then stepped back. "I'll be away a lot. I don't want to think of you alone in this room all the time."
Thane's brow quirked with curiosity. "I will stay occupied. I have my reading and I will mediate."
Alexis gave him a tight smile. It was her indulgent smile. The one she gave a person prior to telling them exactly what she expected them to do. Thane waited.
"I want you to get to know the crew Thane. These people are mostly Alliance. They don't know you…"
"And they do not trust me," Thane added realizing what she was getting at.
Alexis let out a slow breath. "No they don't and they never will if you stay in this room."
"They will acquaint themselves with me well enough on missions."
Alexis shook her head. "That's only the combat crew. There are a lot more people aboard than just that small group."
Thane could see this was something that truly concerned her. He hardly cared if he met any other of the crew. His sole purpose for being here was to be with Alexis. He would fight at her side and keep her safe. He would wait on her hand and foot if necessary. He had no need to know the rest of the crew.
"These people are my crew Thane. I want them to know you as I do, as Liara and Garrus do. The distrust and animosity wouldn't be there if they did."
Thane schooled his features not to grimace. He knew she was speaking of Major Alenko. He truly did not want to attempt to forge a relationship with the man, friendly or otherwise. But this is what Alexis wanted. He knew it would not be easy as he knew how Major Alenko felt for her but he would do what he could. He would comply. "What do you suggest?"
Alexis's face softened. "Tour the ship. Meet the crew, and if you want something to do go see Liara. She is still active as the Shadow Broker. I'm sure she has something you can help with."
Thane inclined his head. He knew Alexis was just trying to make him feel included. He, of course, knew he needed no such thing. His one and only priority was Alexis. But if it gave her peace of mind he would do it. Of course he was not about to let an opportunity pass either. He looked up and faced her. "I will do this if you make me a vow."
Alexis arched a brow at his comment. "A vow," she asked hesitantly.
Thane almost smirked at her response. "It is but a simple request," he replied not wanting to leave her guessing. "I ask that you take two hours each day to be here with me."
Alexis stiffened. Thane could see she was about to argue. "Two hours Siha. You can relax and eat or perhaps rest. I ask only two hours."
Alexis considered the request, inclining her head in agreement. "I give you two hours a day and you get to know the crew."
Thane hid a small smile. Integrating himself among a group who inherently disliked him would be a small price to pay for having her alone for two hours each day. "Agreed. Now go and bathe while I prepare the ointment."