Maura placed the cup of coffee down on her desk, rubbing her eyebrow as she stared at the mountain of work before her. She cursed herself for thinking it, but at this very moment she regretted her trip to Paris altogether. She was only alone with her parents for three separate occasions the whole two weeks she was there. Every other moment was filled with different galas and social functions. She wasn't quite sure why she thought this trip would go differently.
Pulling the first file from the stack, Maura set to work. She hoped this would finally serve as a distraction. She had tortured herself every moment of the trip thinking back to her last night in town. How she and Jane left everything unfinished.
She groaned at the injustice of it all once more. She had hoped she would return to Boston with a plan, some surefire way to approach Jane and handle the situation with delicacy and grace. No such brilliant moment came to her. The best she could do was spend an extra hour getting ready this morning (an easy feat considering she had been up since 5:00 trying to adjust to the time change) in hopes to somehow dazzle Jane into agreement that they should be together. Perhaps her most pathetic plan as of late.
Maura pursed her lips in frustration as she continued to read the same line again and again. How was she ever going to be able to concentrate again? She had survived these last few months on the assumption that friendship was enough. More than enough to keep her happy. But that night in the morgue demolished that idea. Decimated it. She knew that trying to be happy with a platonic friendship wasn't enough. Especially when she could see how beautiful they could be together. Especially when she could finally tell that Jane wanted it too.
True, Jane hadn't given her the indisputable affirmation she was hoping for, but the signs were clear. Jane wanted it, but was afraid. She needed time to process. The entire thing seemed to catch her by surprise. But Maura worried that time would be her enemy. In the six months that she had known Jane, she came to realize that when Jane was scared, she pushed people away. She shut down. And most importantly, she avoided. Maura still hadn't gotten Jane to tell her exactly what was happening in her dreams. She knew they involved Hoyt and the morgue, but she was never specific. To Maura's knowledge, Jane still hadn't let the dreams play out. She wouldn't let Maura in.
Maura's greatest fear was that this moment between them - this "almost" moment - would ruin their friendship. If Jane withdrew or avoided her...
Lost in her reverie, Maura jumped as the morgue doors opened. Jane.
"Hey," Jane smiled, a little nervously. She ran her fingers through her hair. "You're back," she finished softly.
"Yes." Great first worlds, Maura. Really great.
Jane paused for a moment and then shuffled in. "How was the trip? What time did you get in?"
"It was lovely, thank you. I arrived home around midnight." Maura was growing increasingly frustrated with herself. Why was this suddenly so difficult? She should be thrilled that Jane wasn't avoiding her! But it was like she had forgotten how to interact altogether. Why did she feel so stiff?
"How was your Christmas?" Maura asked, trying to calm herself down.
"Typical Rizzoli Christmas. Lots of yelling." Jane said while tinkering with some medical supplies, before turning to face Maura again. "That's actually why I'm down here."
Maura felt as if the oxygen was sucked out of the room the moment Jane's eyes met her.
"Oh?" Maura asked, trying to remember to breathe.
"Yeah, it's probably a bad idea... I totally overlooked that you're jet-lagged, and you'll be exhausted by the end of the day."
Maura's curiosity piqued.
"Well, I owe you a Christmas present," Jane explained. "It's no Pats game, but I really think you're going to love it."
Maura could sense a hint of excitement in Jane's eyes. Jane clearly had something up her sleeve.
"I should be able to make it, so long as it's not too physically strenuous."
"Oh, no. It's very relaxing! I'll pick you up around 7:30 at your place, okay?"
"Wait, you're not going to tell me what it is?" Maura smiled as she protested.
Jane made her way back towards the elevator.
"Now what fun would that be?"
Jane turned at the last moment and poked her head back in. "Oh, and don't forget to wear warm clothes. Really warm."
And with that, Jane cracked one last smile before disappearing through the door frame.
It took Jane all of five minutes after leaving the morgue two weeks ago to realize there was nothing to think about. She had been so concerned about what it would mean. What would their relationship be? How would this change who she was? What would people say? She thought she needed to think. To rationalize. To understand.
But Jane Rizzoli was not the kind of woman who sat back and considered. She was a woman of action. Of impulse. She was the kind of person who didn't care what others thought about her, so long as they understood she could kick their ass whenever she so choose.
Jane chided herself for the rest of the week for her poor timing. She was sure she left Maura in a state of confusion when she pushed her away, no matter how delicately she may have tried. And if Jane knew anything about heartbroken people going to Paris (all the movies certainly swore by it), Maura was sure to find some Parisian lover during her two-week stay and fall madly in love.
Three days before Maura returned, Jane realized she needed to get the upper hand on this. She didn't want things to be awkward. Above all else, Jane wasn't willing to lose Maura as a friend too.
And that's when the idea struck her. She knew exactly where she would take her out. It would be a date, if that's what Maura wanted it to be. Jane wasn't going to try to define it, just as she wasn't going to try to define them. She was a woman of impulse. When the moment felt right, it would be right.
Jane's confidence quickly disappeared as she knocked on Maura's door later that night. Maura pulled back the door, donned in a knee-length pea coat, leather gloves, a colorful scarf, and a woolen beanie. She smiled nervously.
"Do you think I'll be warm enough? I'm wearing layers underneath as well."
Jane smiled back and led her towards the car. "You should be good."
Jane continued to sneak a glance over at Maura as they headed south from the city. Maura was certainly confused. Even more so when Jane exited the interstate and took a left on an unpaved road in a wooded area.
"Jane! Are you sure we can be here? This isn't very well-lit."
Jane smiled. It had been years, but she still knew this area like the back of her hand.
"Don't worry," she assured her, "we're almost there."
Jane brought the car to a stop and watched Maura look around.
"Where are we?"
"The middle of nowhere."
"Are we going... hiking?"
Laughing, Jane ignored her and grabbed a bag from the backseat.
"C'mon," she said with a nod of the head.
Maura got out to the car and realized they were at the top of a hill. As she cautiously peered down, she saw a lit area beneath them, with people milling about.
"Is that an amphitheater?"
Jane brought two blankets out of the bag she grabbed from behind the front seats. She laid one down on the hood of the car.
"Yep. My family and I used to come down here all the time growing up."
Maura clasped her hands over her mouth as people took the stage.
"Is that the Boston Pops?"
Jane smiled and motioned for Maura to sit on the hood, which was now covered in a blanket, two pillows resting along the windshield.
"Yep. I remembered you saying how much you wanted to see them. Tickets were outrageous, and then I remembered they were playing here this week."
Maura rested herself along the car's hood as Jane draped the other blanket across the both of them. Her jaw dropped yet again as the group began to sing. It was crystal clear. The design of the amphitheater was astounding. She could hear ever word.
Jane pulled out two mugs and a thermos of what appeared to be hot cocoa and turned towards Maura.
"I know we're not close, but -"
"Jane, it's wonderful!" Maura exclaimed as she held out a mug while Jane poured her a cup.
"I've got whiskey and Bailey's in the car if it gets too cold. Warms you up real fast."
Maura shook her head. "It's perfect."
Jane guessed it must be in the twenties. But with Maura's warm body resting against her right arm, Jane felt impervious to the cold. As the Boston Pops began their finale, Jane snuck a look over at Maura. She looked exhausted, but happy. A lazy smile and heavy-lidded eyes proved to Jane that the night was a success.
Maura turned to Jane and whispered, despite no one being nearby, "Thank you."
Jane smiled as Maura's eyelash caught a snowflake. She turned to look up towards the sky to see that a light snowfall had begun.
She turned back towards Maura. "Do you want to move inside the car? We can keep the windows open so you can still hear it."
But Maura seemed to be renewed with energy, she scooted off the hood of the car and twirled with her hands out, face turned upwards towards the sky.
"Oh no I love this! Isn't it so... beautiful?"
"You've lived in Massachusetts for years. How are you so giddy about snow?" Jane asked as she hopped off the car and joined Maura.
"I've always loved it. Especially like this - with the snow falling softly. I had a snow globe as a child. I used to imagine that I was living inside of it..."
Jane watched Maura close her eyes as she lost herself in the memory. She had never seen her look more beautiful. Maura's hair was now covered with snowflakes, her cheeks flushed from the cold and excitement.
Without thinking, without stopping to consider anything, Jane slid her hand behind Maura's neck and pulled her in close. Though Maura was startled, she didn't pull away. One last snowflake fell on the tip of Maura's nose. Jane laughed and brought her finger up to wipe it away. Jane brought their faces closer together, and when Maura began to close her eyes, Jane kissed her.
It was unlike anything Jane had ever experienced. Everything was so... soft. Maura's lips seemed to melt in hers. Her neck, her hips, the swell of the music... everything was so -
Jane's head shot up as her cell phone rang. They both pulled back and smiled nervously.
"Go ahead," Maura said softly, her hands still holding on to the lapels of Jane's coat. "I'm sure my call is coming soon."
Jane shook her head in frustration. At this very moment she had no sense of duty. The only thing she cared about was lowering her head and running her hands through Maura's hair.
"Rizzoli," she all but growled into the phone.
Maura looked down at her own phone, confused as to why it still hadn't rung.
Maura watched the color drain out of Jane's face. What was it?
Jane hung up the phone and with a shaky voice explained.
"They're moving up Hoyt's trial."
"What?" Maura asked incredulously. "That wasn't suppose to start for another four months!"
"I know," Jane said, her knees feeling like they would give out at any moment. She expected that when the time came she would be ready. Ready to face him. Ready to account for what happened. But right now she felt sick. She felt terrified.
Jane rubbed the scar on her right hand, which suddenly began to ache.
"They need me in court tomorrow."
A/N: Thanks for reading! And thank you so much to anyone who voted in the Rizzles Fan Awards. I really appreciate the sweet reviews!
I wish I could make the chapters longer for y'all, but this is all I can manage given my schedule. Hope that's okay.