A/N: Hi everyone! PLEASE READ THIS because I would like to sincerely apologize for the brief hiatus this story went on. I had intended for this to be at least 30 chapters by now but because I'm at very crucial years in my schooling I am finding it hard to balance what I love most (writing for all of you) with my seemingly never-ending education. I mean I want to be a writer, who needs math and science anyway, lol? Anyway, this weekend and moving forward I plan to be much more proactive with this story. I want to immerse myself in my writing again, which I haven't done in a very long time. Plus, any of you that read my other story know that I never used to be this bad at keeping a schedule. Please, please, PLEASE sound off in the comments and reassure me that you all don't hate me! Anyways, enjoy! (I read some reviews just now and I know y'all hate me so some love would be much appreciated)

Disclaimer: If I owned both the book and movie versions of the Outsiders my life would be absolutely perfect.

Ponyboy: I woke up that morning half expecting and half hoping that Sodapop would burst into the room and start tickling me awake like he always did on Saturday mornings; he didn't.

At first I was confused. Soda was always the first person I saw in the morning, and that's why I was always so cheerful. His attitude was enough to get Dally to lighten up every once and a while if you can imagine that. But then the memories of yesterday came flooding back to me.

Steve at the house, Steve telling me that my brothers thought of me as nothing but an inconvenient little pain in the ass, I remember being jumped, Buck's party and being grounded. They'd probably gone easy on me last night because they knew I'd been hurt. Now though, morning was here and I wasn't hurt at all. I was sure as hell in for it.

This should've frightened me at least a little bit. Darry was already scary enough when he got upset about little things, like me coming home half an hour after curfew, but those were all stupid mistakes. Last night I had deliberately gone to Buck's knowing it would piss Darry off. Not only would it piss him off, but I wasn't allowed to go there and that's the last place they'd have thought to look. Darry would be livid now that he knew I would be awake enough to understand his lecture. But I just couldn't find the strength to care.

They both said what they said, the truth was out and they could drop the act. There would be no reason for them to care about me sneaking out to Buck's or making good grades. This was a surprising relief to me; I could finally relax. I don't care what happens when I walk through the kitchen door. There was no reason for me to fear any anger.

I was broken from my thoughts by two soft knocks on the door. Knowing it was probably Sodapop, I froze and regained my composure. "Come in," I said just loud enough for him to hear. Even in this state of unrest I was in, I could still tell that my voice was off. There would be no fooling him now.

To my surprise it wasn't only Soda that entered the room, but Darry as well. I tried to open my mouth and ask Darry why he wasn't at work, but I was stunned silent; there wasn't as much as a peep to escape my lips.

Without a word, Soda slid into the bed and sat next to me, while Darry sat across from me on the edge. Both of their faces were etched with an emotion that I wasn't quite able to pinpoint. Fear, worry, anger? When Darry finally spoke, I settled on worry.

"Listen Ponyboy," he said slowly. "I know there's no way you'll want to talk to us but… we need to talk to you." There was something new in Darry's tone; desperation. Darry was always careful not to show any type of emotion. After our parent's funeral, you'd expect any regular nineteen year old to look up to the skies and pray that their parents would come back. They would pray because life as they knew it was over, all familiarity gone, and because they had to take on major responsibilities.

Darry however, was never really a dreamer. Once they were gone, they were gone and that was it. After all of the custody details had been settled in court, Darry went home and closed the door to our parents' bedroom for months and didn't talk about them or accept further condolences. They were gone, they'd left us, and Darry was smart enough to realize that and shut off everything else. He'd never been one to get desperate. Until today, it seemed.

"About?" I finally replied, my voice cold and hard. It was time for me to switch personalities with my older brother. For once, I would be the strong one. For once, I would not break.

"About what happened with Steve yesterday," he stated firmly. That caught me off guard. I'd expected him to lecture me, tell me off for being at Buck's last night; for sneaking out. But no. He just had to ask me about Steve.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I sneered defiantly. I wasn't about to let them attempt to justify their actions.

"Like hell you don't!" Soda shot at me, speaking for the first time since he'd entered the room. "We heard you talkin' in your sleep last night, Pony! We know what he said to you."

"How do you know it wasn't just a stupid dream?" I demanded, silently praying that I could pass it off as just that. "I mean, hell, you know half the stuff I dream is complete crap. Why is this any different?

"Because I talked to him kiddo," Sodapop told me gently as he carefully placed his hand upon my shoulder. "He told me everything, and he told me that he never meant to hurt you that way."

It wasn't funny and it wasn't believable, but for some reason laughter bubbled up inside of me and I couldn't seem to contain it. This laughter wasn't normal though, wasn't mine. This laugh was that of someone who was being torn in half; anything but natural.

"You think… that he's actually sorry?" I gasped out between my chuckles. "You don't get it do you? You don't see Steve for what he really is; a cowardly, sneaky son of a bitch. He tells you that he's sorry, but he doesn't really mean it. Steve wanted to see me in pain; he wanted to make me believe that you've hated me ever since mom and dad died. That scumbag doesn't have a sorry bone in his body."

"That's why… I told him never to come back."

That was absolutely not what I had expected. "You-you what?" I pressed. "Why in the hell would you ever do something like that?"

"'Cuz he hurt my baby brother," Soda's statement was simple enough, but there was an undertone of darkness to it. "Nobody, not even my best buddy, is allowed to do that and walk away thinking I won't make their life living hell for doing it. I love you Ponyboy, I just wish you could see that."

At that moment I felt something crack within me, and all of a sudden I felt suffocated. I couldn't talk to Soda and Darry. Not right now, when all I want is to cling to those three words and believe everything Steve said to me was a lie. I couldn't take that chance. Like Dally was always telling me, I couldn't be weak. I had to be strong, no matter how much sense it all made when they pieced it together for me.

Abruptly, I leaped from my bed out of my brother's arms, mumbled that I needed to go for a run and I'd be back in a few hours and dashed out the door.

I needed to talk to someone about this, try and figure out whether or not Darry and Soda just told me the truth or lied to my face. The only snag was that the whole gang had either probably just gotten to my house or were probably busy. The one option that was left available to me was the one I would've chosen anyway. She would be the one person to know what to do in a situation like this. I needed to talk to Jade.

A/N: Okay, so I feel like that was a crap chapter but I could be wrong. The good news is that I know exactly where this story is headed now, and I don't have any homework this weekend so I'm devoting myself to writing. I swear that I WILL be back with a new update tomorrow if you guys review and tell me what you thought! I love you all!

Thanks for Reading!

-thewolfgurlgleek :)