Back On The Hunt

I started on the long trek back "oop north" picking up the injured man, Samuel, on the way, well why not? One day I may need a stranger to do the same for me. I arrived at the Friendly Arm Inn to find my former companions missing. I was told two had left but the other two were around somewhere but hadn't been seen much. Later that evening a very sleepy Branwyn and Kivan made their way down to the bar...oh...

"Hi guys, did you miss me?"

"You've been somewhere"

"Didn't you get my letter?"

"We've been very busy..."

"Sure"

According to Kivan, Viconia was holed up in a cave, "where she belongs with the crawling beasts and sun hating monsters".

"You know Kivan, you really need to stop this racial stereotyping and prejudice".

"But that's what she said"

"Oh...that's OK then"

"So where's Edwin?"

"Gone back to Nashkel"

"Why?"

"Cheaper concubines"

So once again we set off, this time to pick up our errant companions. On the way I told them about the bounty hunters and the golden eyed man trying to kill me and how we had to stop him. I don't think they were really listening though. Kivan was too busy picking flowers and Branwen just interjected "that's nice" now and then while she watched him with a soppy smile on her face. We found Viconia in her cave and she greeted us with about as much enthusiasm as expected. I'd like to say she was hiding her happiness at our arrival but with Vicky, well you can never be sure.

"So the jaluk and the dathir have come to ask for my help"

"Viconia, what does "jaluk and "dathir" mean?"

"I have no idea but they sound suitably dismissive, I am Drow if you haven't noticed"

We found Edwin in the Nashkel jail, he'd been charged with sexual harrassment. He didn't deny it, though his account of events was of it being an example of his erotic onslaught merely being misunderstood by the barbarians in these parts. I'm surprised the jail was still standing. Though that might have had something to do with the number of young guards on duty to whom he was giving an impomptu lesson on Thayvian methods of "persuasion".

"Who has he harrassed?"

"Everybody, including Noober who filed the complaint"

The FF chief allowed us (begged us?) to take Edwin if we agreed to find his former boss who had murdered his family. A strange case, completely out of character for the man in question. A loving father who had gone beserk and massacred his whole family. So we headed west after picking up his trail. On the way we helped out with an acheological dig, acting as security guards for the diggers. And must say, we did a grand job. Until the diggers were possesed by an evil entity and we had to slaughter them all mercilessly. We removed an idol, of course we did, we then tried to put it back but that didn't work, of course it didn't. So had to kill the avatar of the long dead God who turned up to complain about being disturbed.

It was easy to find the murderer, the trail of mutilated bodies led us straight to him. He asked us a question, we answered his question (wrongly as it happens, "the circus", was not the answer, who'd have guessed). We explained Viconia was only being sarcastic (she is a drow) and gave him the right answer. Whereupon he realised his dreadful crimes and fell to his knees sobbing. We escorted him back to Nashkel and delivered him to the temple as pretty sure he needed an exorcist rather than a hangman. The sword he'd picked up had cursed him.

Important lesson there for us, identify everything...if only we could, it's not like we don't try.

We traveled north up the coast. Met a tramp, (no scratch that, too bitchy). Met a very attractive thief who asked us to help her get treasure from a cave. Well not asked exactly, more implied that she would be ever so grateful in the Biblical sense should any of the men agree to help. She was so obvious for the first time ever even Edwin didn't bite, he said he felt insulted and that he wasn't that cheap... After we had picked ourselves up off the floor from laughing so much at that, Safana moved onto me. Well that wasn't going to get her anywhere. Branwen stood very close to Kivan and waved her hammer around, I think she got the message. Viconia then took her to one side and proceeded to lecture her in a low voice. I didn't hear all what she was saying to Safana but caught the odd phrase now and again like "crush them underfoot", "make them grovel for your favour" and "kill them afterwards". So we declined, leaving a very thoughtful Safana behind. I hope we haven't stirred up some trouble for the future there.

We decided to get the treasure anyway for ourselves, you can never have too much treasure. The Sirens guarding the cave told us to go away but were reasonable enough to change their mind when we pointed out that if we didn't clear the cave, plenty of others would be along later and would probably bother them more. We had of course blindfolded Edwin before this conversation. In the cave we found some flesh golems, I presume left by the pirate to guard his treasure? Judging by how old they looked as they had bits and pieces falling off, an ear here, an arm there, I don't think the pirate was coming back. But conveying that to mindless flesh golems was impossible, especially the one with no ears. So we had to kill them (again not so sure whether that counts as murder so much as deactivation). The treasure was a cape to turn you into a wolf and a book that of course we couldn't identify. Not really what you would expect from a pirate, we expected more of a nautical theme, doubloons, a treasure map, a skeleton with an eyepatch holding a cutlass. Kivan claimed the cape as he is the ranger and it could be useful for scouting.

After ransacking the cave we were approached by a fortune teller offering to read our palms. I accepted, well you never know, it's not like I had much of a clue what was going on anyway. Edwin, dismissed her as a con artist, professional jealousy on his part I think. It was going fine when talking about the recent past, not so good when she "delved further into the mysteries hidden to ordinary people that only one as gifted as she could unveil", (Edwin stop snorting indignantly I daresay she can't master the power to conjure a demon and right at the moment that's a relief when she's holding my hand). The upshot was she turned on us after looking at me like a monster and we had to kill her. There was an awkward pause afterwards,

"OK, who want's to say it first?"

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, we all have things in our past we would rather forget"

"That's not the point Branwen, she was scared of what I am"

"A stupid simian? When she should have have been scared of the extremely powerful yet devestatingly handsom mage standing behind her"

"I am not scared of you, in the Underdark you would be considered weak and mewling and unlikely to survive"

"You are not an Elf so that's bound to be a disappointment, but apart from that you don't seem too bad"

There's something to be said for traveling with people of such huge egoes that most things never penetrate their self regard. Safety in the company of egomaniacs. I wonder how Branwen copes? Probably puts it down to being Southern softies, not wrestling enough in childhood and not eating properly.

Heading east towards Beregost to stock up and sell our murderous plunder, we happened across Drizzzzzt D'urdon, the famous all action hero. He asked us to help him kill some gnolls. I have no idea why because he chopped them up quite happily and incredibly quickly on his own. I rather think he just wanted an audience. Kivan was actually friendly, Drizzzzzt is the one drow he can accept. Unlike Viconia, he pointed out, who in comparison should be murdered for her evil ways. Then Drizzzt saw Viconia and she saw him. Not completely surprising, one thing led to another and I thought for a while there we'd end up with another companion. Now that would increase our chances of survival. But it wasn't to be, he's married I think. Not that Drow set much store by that. So instead we set up camp for the night so they could play at being "star crossed lovers" and thanked everything that's holy that none of us understood Drow. It was a long night, that's all I'll say. In the morning Drizzzzzt (how stupid is that name, can you even say it without dribbling?) bade us farewell and wiped a manly tear away when taking his leave of Viconia. She merely nodded dismissively, of course.

The next day it was back to same old routine, kill everything that moves, kill everything that doesn't move, we don't discriminate. All the way back to the Friendly Arm Inn ready to start our campaign to the Cloakwood Mine.