Ch.13
I'm Yours
I fell right through the cracks
And I'm tryin to get back before the cool done run out
I'll be givin it my best test and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some
I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait I'm yours
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
It's your God forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved
So I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours
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The attending lounge was empty, and Derek sat quietly staring at his cup of coffee. He hadn't seen Addison since yesterday; in fact, he hadn't seen much of her the last several days. The house appointment was at 10 in the morning and his watch showed that it was 9:05. Derek looked up when a newspaper was tossed on the small table.
"Morning." Mark greeted before slumping on the chair across from him. He looked tired.
"Morning." Derek replied. "Long night?"
"Yeah." Mark eyed him. "You?"
"Can't sleep."
"Sorry about that."
"Sorry about you, too."
Mark grabbed a pen from his pocket and drew fourteen dashes on the side of the newspaper.
"Fourteen letters." Mark said as he got up to pour himself a cup of coffee.
Derek eyed the paper with a puzzled look. They used to play this game to pass time in the hospital when they were best friends.
"E" He said when Mark returned to his seat.
"One E." He wrote the letter on the second dash.
Derek dragged the newspaper toward him. "A." He pushed it back to Mark.
"Two A's." He wrote down the letters and looked up at Derek. "I think Addison was looking for you."
"You think?" Derek frowned at the paper. "Y."
"No Y." Mark drew a vertical line on another empty spot of the newspaper. "She was watching the nurse writing down the morning surgeries on the board."
"Oh." Derek tried to be casual. "I."
"One."
"O."
Mark scribbled down the two O's. "I asked Addison to come back to New York with me…twice."
Derek's head snapped up and Mark continued.
"I asked her when I first came, and yesterday, but…."
"What the hell is wrong with you! You're supposed to be my bestfriend! You're not supposed to sleep with my wife, you're not supposed to take her from me, you're not supposed to destroy my marriage!"
"I'm not the sole reason your marriage fell apart!"
Derek rose from his seat. "How am I suppose to make this right if you're here coaxing her to go back with you!"
Mark stood up. "I wouldn't ask her to come back to New York if I know that you're being the husband you're supposed to be!"
Derek lunged forward but Mark reacted faster and Derek found himself on the ground.
"I never set out to hurt you." Mark watched his former bestfriend struggled to get up. "I'm not saying this because I want to hurt you, I fell in love with her and it doesn't go away just because she decided to stay with you."
Derek sat up and leaned back on the vending machine. "She decided to stay with me, not you…"
"If you would've listened, you would've heard that I said that I know she only loves you. I'm ready to let her go because I know I'm not the one she wants. I could've saved you that punch."
Derek got back on his feet and Mark continued. "The day I first set foot in Seattle, you lashed out at her and she stayed. You slept with Meredith and she still stayed with you. She doesn't want to go to New York with me. Do you get that, Derek? She's not going anywhere if there is a slightest chance that you want her."
Mark studied Derek's reddened face and heavy breathing and waited for him to say something.
"The word is 'Retinoblastoma'." Derek retorted as he brushed shoulders with Mark and walked out of the door.
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Addison strode down the hall towards the locker room, staring absentmindedly at the tiles. Her pace was timed and tentative as if she dreaded having to get ready and leave the hospital to see the house. She had not seen Derek since yesterday, but the fact that his name wasn't on the board for any of the morning surgeries gave her some hope that he might be waiting for her at a house on Atlas Dr.
"Addison?"
She jumped at the voice. "Richard…."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He walked beside her.
"Don't worry about it. How are you?"
"I should be asking you that."
Addison slightly frowned. "I'm fine."
"Liar. You're exhausted and you know it."
"What do you want me to do? Sleep at home with my grouchy husband while Julia Schweider is fighting for her life?"
"The baby has been fine…."
"Anything can still go wrong at anytime."
"There are two other very capable doctors."
Addison gave him a look.
Richard rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. They're not you and they're not the best, but they are still highly capable, Addison."
"I know that…." She said softly.
"But…?"
"We've come this far, Richard. If something happens and I'm not here and we lose her…." They rounded the corner and Addison came into a halt. "Then this is all for nothing…."
"Even if that happens, it won't be for nothing. Derek separated her and you kept her alive until now, it's already something. You tried. You did the best you can. "
Richard searched for her eyes when she looked away.
"You can't carry all the responsibilities on your shoulder, Addie. Let the others do their parts." She looked down and he took hold of her hand. "Her condition is very critical but she's been stable. In a case like this, it's a waiting game and it's out of our hands, you know that."
"She has hope…."
"I know what this means to you."
Addison looked up. "It's the biggest case in our career, of course it means…."
"It goes beyond that." He stated. "Is that why you're so adamant on holding onto this?"
"How I can let it go when we're so close?"
"Sometimes there is no other way than to let go, Addie…"
"Don't get too attached." Addison let out a dry laugh. "That's the number one lesson you taught me."
"It'll be easier when things slip out of our hands."
She sadly smiled. "If it makes you feel better, I'm off this weekend. Grouchy Derek, too."
"I think he's grouchy because he misses you." Richard chuckled. "No one can compete with you."
"I'm not so sure, Richard." Addison looked away for a moment.
"In your case, it may be out of your hands at this point." He sighed. "But I don't think Derek is ready to let it get out of his."
"We'll find out soon enough..."
"Whatever the outcome, it's not for nothing, Addison. You tried your best."
She nodded. "I have to go. Bye, Richard."
"Bye, Addison."
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"Seriously…" A look of amusement on Finn's face. "She showed up and strutted to you and Derek like that…."
"Yep." Meredith nodded. "All leggy and fabulous, all in black and four inch Prada heels. Isabella freaking Rossellini meets Wicked Witch of the East…."
"You must have hated her…."
"I tried, but she's hard to hate. She's painfully smart and annoyingly kind and she saved Cristina's life…." Meredith explained while chewing on her breakfast.
"And Derek couldn't sign the papers…." He dipped a piece of waffle in the maple syrup.
"He called her Satan and adulterous bitch and said all these things about wanting the divorce…." She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "But when she gave him the papers, he couldn't do it."
"She's his wife, his family for over than eleven years." He turned to her.
She furrowed her brows. "That's exactly what he said…."
"It's probably hard for you to understand, but when you've loved someone for that long, you don't know how to stop." Finn sighed. "You'll learn to let go, only when you're ready…."
They remained silence for a minute.
"Do you miss her?" She asked softly.
"I do…." He watched the passerby in front of the waffle shop. "But I've learned to let go…though not completely."
"I don't think you will ever completely erase someone like that from your life."
"Yeah, I don't think so either, but I've moved on." He glanced at her. "Are you ready to let go of him?"
"I think I already did." She smiled.
"That's good." He smiled back. "So, what happened on the next episode of the Ex-Files?"
Meredith laughed. "He-Shepherd made She-Shepherd live in a trailer, I got…"
"They've been living in the trailer!"
"Mmm hmm..." Meredith laughed. "We're all a bunch of scary and damaged people, we sure made one hell of a drama…."
"That you did…" Finn joined in laughter.
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"Good morning, you must be Dr. Shepherd. I'm Beverly Gleeson, you can call me Beverly, and I'll be showing you the house today." The younger woman introduced herself when Addison entered the front door.
"Hi, I'm Addison." She shook Beverly's hand. "I'm sorry I'm late."
"It's all right." Beverly smiled. "Is your husband joining us this morning? We can wait until he gets here." She offered.
Addison took a look at her watch. It was 10:09 am. "He's not. It seems like his surgery ran longer than expected." She lied and tried to form a smile.
"That's unfortunate, shall we get started then?"
"Yes, we shall."
"Alright, let's begin with the living room." Beverly walked further inside the house.
Addison felt her feet unable to follow Beverly. Instead, she stared through the window, expecting a familiar figure to walk on that front path toward the door.
"I'm sorry if I was too quick, Dr. Shepherd." Beverly came back to the foyer. "I didn't realize you were still here."
A startled Addison turned away from the window. "Oh, it's not your fault. I need to check on my phone for a minute." She smiled awkwardly. "I'll meet you in the living room, if that's okay."
"Of course." Beverly gave an assuring nod and left Addison alone.
Addison took out her cell phone. There were no messages and no missed calls. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He's not coming. This house is too big for one person…. She was about to walk toward the direction Beverly had disappeared into when the front door opened.
"Hey." He smiled.
"Hey." She smiled.
"Sorry, I'm late."
"I was late, too."
"Where is the realtor?"
"She's in the living room. I told her I'll come inside in a minute." She was a mix of surprised and relieved. "You show."
Derek took her hand and led her inside the house. "Well, I don't want you to pick a house with a pink master bedroom."
He grinned and she playfully slapped his arm.
"Derek, what happened to your face?" She stood in front of him, studying the discolored mark on his left cheek.
"It's nothing." However, he winced as his left hand lightly touched the bruise.
It was then that she noticed the platinum band on his ring finger.
"You're wearing your ring…." She smiled as she held his left hand in her palm.
"I am." He caressed the side of her face with his thumb. "The vows say 'till death do us part' and I promised you that." He whispered before giving her a kiss.
"I missed you." He kissed her forehead when they pulled back.
"I missed you, too." She kissed his nose.
"We'll talk later, okay?" He put an arm around her waist. "Let's go and see if this is the one for our house."
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I called this sucky chapter 13, because it took forever to write this and everything just didn't come out right. Anyway, Mark punched Derek, ouwie, but oh well shrugs. And I heart Richard and Addie's conversation, I like the parallel between the case and the marriage. And Derek showed up at the house, albeit late, and they toured the house happy dance.
Oh, btw, the story is ending soon. Soon as in next chapter soon. So read and review and make me feel better about this sucky 13. A non-depressed me is good for writing happy cute cuddly kissing Addek for the ending, a.k.a. next chapter.