I'm so sorry for the delay, things have been very busy around and I am currently in the process of getting a book published so I have been extremely busy trying to get that done. Without further delay here is the newest chapter. Thank you for waiting so patiently and not giving up on me.
Chapter 12
The past few weeks have been so busy but happy in it, as we have not heard or seen John. Pheobe and I have been so busy at Escala with Christian. Finding a job has been quite a challenge as not very many places will take in someone with little to no experience, and even though Christian has been so kind as to offer myself a job at Grey Enterprise and Grey Publishing, I really want to find something for myself. Just having the satisfaction of doing it for myself, and knowing I don't need someone to always cover and watch over me.
I have gotten into a good routine in the mean time, Mrs. Jones and I split her duties around Escala. I thought that would at least be fair, seeing as I could never afford to pay for anything here, even if I was to find a good job. Mrs. Jones, or Gail she keeps correcting me, does the cooking for lunch and dinner, as I do for breakfast and whatever snacks Pheobe wants during the day. This let's her sleep more and arrive later in the day. It's the least I could do. I also do laundry and sweep to keep up with everything, unless it needs to be dry cleaned. Gail and I also do the food shopping together, and if Christian needs anything I can go with Taylor most of the time.
The hardest part of the past few weeks, is Christian having to travel for work, and being alone with my thoughts for the first time in a while. Having all the insecurities of him possibly finding someone else, or John finding us and not having him here with us to protect us. We still talk though, every night and Pheobe loves when he reads to her over video message. She has gotten so attached so fast, and misses him so much. I still find things to do during the day with her to keep her preoccupied and to make sure she doesn't get into the mess of the life she was brought into.
Every day brings something new around the house, and I have found that Christian has a very comfy livingroom, with a million movies, but he rarely uses it. I told myself when he gets back that we will have movie nights with Pheobe, so we can all relax and not spend so much money, even though he's told me a million times money is no issue. I still don't like that he spends so much on us. It really makes me feel so cheap, the fact I can barely afford a tenth of what he buys us.
I look over at the clock as I see it is almost midnight, and I am still trying to fold some of Pheobe's shirts. Lost in myself as I listen to some classics. I smile down at the shirt I am folding, one I got her about a year ago from Georgia when we went to see mom for a few days. It was so hot out, and mom insisted that she buy the shirt but I ended talking her out of it as I pulled my credit card out first. She was so upset, complaining that she never gets to buy her own granddaughter anything but then the memories come back and she usually becomes quiet. I try to not look her in the eyes much, all these years later and I still find it hard to trust her. She keeps saying it was a dark time for her, but it was a darker time for me.
"Mommy, I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?" Pheobe yawns and walks into the dining room. I smile and hug her tight.
"Baby, it is late. How about a drink of milk and we try and go back to sleep. Daddy will be home tomorrow morning early, and I will make your favorite if you want. Sound okay?" I kiss her head and walk her to her room as I swear I see something flash outside the windows but I brush it off as we are at the top of the building and no one can get in unless they go through Christian's men and I wouldn't dare do that.
I tuck her in after she takes a drink and hum till her eyes shut and her breathing becomes soft. It's these little moments with her that I thank Ray for standing with me and not letting anyone take her from me. I turn on her nightlight and walk out the room, still smiling and walk back to the dining room. My phone sends a soft ping, and I look to see that Kate has called and left a voicemail. I click the voicemail box picture and listen as Kate is clearly drunk and happy with her friends. She says she misses us and wants to go shopping this weekend and I chuckle and send a quick text saying to call me when she wakes in the morning.
I look over at the laundry I was folding to see that the shirt I was folding is missing, along with one of mine that Ray got me in high school. I look around the floor and chairs to see if I dropped them or maybe when Pheobe came in she might have knocked them off. I look for a few more minutes, to coming up empty and just put it to that I am tired and not thinking clearly. I decide to come back to it in the morning as I make my way to Pheobe's room and climb in bed with her to sleep. Something in the back of my head must have told me to lock the door, because without thinking I lock the door and fall asleep with my angel.
Throughout the night, I keep hearing banging and scratching and it eventually makes its way to my dreams as I have nightmares about someone breaking into the old apartment and taking things. I toss and turn, swearing someone is calling my name, cussing that they can't find what they are looking for, then darkness as the deepest sleep takes over and I am lost in nothing until morning.
I finally wake to my phone going off for the eleventh or twelth time, putting it off until now thinking it was mom or Kate. I look down to see it is Christian, and then I hear someone calling for me and Pheobe in a panic. It's Gail and Taylor. I unlock the door and am greeted to a frightened Christian staring me down. He must see questions in my eyes as he throws his arms over me and hugs me tight. What happened last night?
"Are you okay? Is Pheobe? Who broke in? Did you see their face?" Christian keeps asking he same questions as I slowly process what he is asking. Someone break in? To Escala? Are they mad?
"I honestly don't know what you are talking about. Pheobe and I slept in her room last night. I locked the door, well I don't know why I locked the door, but I had no idea anyone was in here." I look over at Taylor who is speaking with two officers and nods at me. What is going on?
"The place is a total mess, like someone was looking for something. Some of your and Pheobe's things are missing. Pictures Gail and Taylor took when we went to the park last week before I left, your locket that is always hanging in our bathroom, and your purse is no where in sight." Gail comes over as Pheobe finally wakes up, and takes her into her arms.
"I think this little lady is hungry, I'm going to make some breakfast. Ana would you like some tea?" I nod and try and think of who would be crazy enough to break in, no one knew that Christian was out of town except us and some people at his work.
"Do you think it could be John?" I ask, my voice breaking.
"I don't know, but we are going to get out of here until he is found. We haven't been on a vacation, is there any place you would like to go? Anywhere? The moon is the limit." He hugs me again and kisses me softly. Honestly, a vacation is not what I had in mind but then I remember something from last night.
"Can we go see my mom?" I ask, not knowing if he would be on board for what I was asking.
"Anything for you Anastasia." He smiles and we go to the kitchen as Gail and Pheobe are making eggs and pancakes. I smile at them and look around to see the place really has been trashed. Plants broken, papers everywhere. Luckily I locked up Christian's study earlier yesterday after I watered his plants and stocked his mini fridge with water.
"Pheobe, how would you like to go see Grandma?" I ask, not knowing if she would want to or not.
"Really?! We havent seen her in forever! Can daddy and Taylor come, too?" She looks over at Christian with sad eyes. He only nods and smiles to her. He would give her the world if it came to it. Yet, I keep asking myself the one question I want answered, who got in and why?
After breakfast and everyone get's cleaned up, I pack our suitcases with stuff for Georgia, as it is probably extremely humid and hot around this time of year. Pheobe brings her bunny Ray got her when she was just a year old, and the locket Christian got her when she threw a fight when I got mine and she didn't have one with my picture in it to wear.
"Have you ever flown by plane?" Christian asks Pheobe, and she just shakes her head.
"It is a lot of fun, even more fun than a helicopter." Her eyes get big with excitement, which we will probably travel in first class if Christian has anything to do with it.
We arrive at the airport about an hour later and get our luggage checked in. I call mom and let her know we will be arriving in Georgia in a few hours and that we will be there for about a week, at least Christian thinks that's how long it will take to find and 'take care of John'. I told him I don't want to know any of the details, as long as he is in jail by the time we get back and away from Pheobe that is all I care about. We board the plane, get in our seats in, of course first class, and relax as we await the departure to see mom. I wonder how she is, and her current husband. They have been married for a few years now, and he makes her happy but I just don't trust him. She knows that I will probably have trust issues the rest of my life, and it is understandable. Doctor Flynn says I will work through it, and will slowly trust people agian.
The flight goes by uneventful, Pheobe watches the clouds and looks over at the ground asking a million questions. Christian does his very best to answer them all, some of them he just can't and the stewartess saves the day by offering snacks, drinks, and anything else that we think we would need. She can't keep her eyes off Christian, and it starts to hurt my stomach watching her flirt with him and asking what he did for a living. He was being polite, but I just couldn't look at him. I keep telling myself to stop being Ana and relax. He wouldn't hurt me like that, but deep inside all the pain starts to resurface and I fake that I am tired and close my eyes just to try and escape from the inner demon.
I remember a time when I was fifteen, and I tried to talk to boys. Mom didn't think it would be a good idea, but I didn't know why until I invited a boy over. John was at 'work' and mom was doing dishes when I got home from school. She said that he needed to leave before seven which was usually dinner time. John would be home, and he would start drinking and I didn't want any of my friends to see how terrible my home life was.
We were in the livingroom listening to some music and doing homework and laughing when time started to fly. By six mom was aminent that my friend needed to leave soon, and I kept telling her it would be okay.
"His name is Jake and he is a very good friend of mine mom. He will be gone by seven I promise, just please stop you are embarassing me!" I whispered in the kitchen while getting us drinks.
"Please Ana, just make sure John doesn't see him okay? He just thinks you are to young to be dating and I don't want you to get hurt by him if he tries to turn you down." Mom walked off and I walked back in the room thinking of how hurtful it was for her to say that. Now I know that she was protecting me, or trying to.
"Sorry about my mom, she can be kind of strict as well as my step dad." I hand Jake the soda and smile.
"No it's cool, my mom told me I can't date anyone until I am in college." we laugh and pack up our school work and continue to tel jokes as he walks to the door to go home.
"I'm sorry you have to leave early," I say with sadness. John would beat my hide if he knew I brought home a boy from school.
"It's cool, how about Saturday I save you from the prison. A bunch of us are going to the mall and uh, it would be cool if we could go together." He doesn't look at me, and I smile.
"Saturday sounds cool, it's a date." I say and immediatly regret my words as John walks up behind him and greets me with a kiss on my forehead and whispers in my ear, 'over my dead body.' I wave as Jake walks away and prepare myself for the bruises I will have to cover up for tomorrow.
I awoken from the dream as Christian and Pheobe are waking me as we have already landed and first class is allowed to depart first. I smile and follow, as Pheobe holds my hand and gushes about how she got to talk to the pilot while I was asleep. I laugh as Christian holds my hand tight.
"Anastasia are you okay? You look like you had bad dreams." He kisses me soft and squeezes my hand.
"Just memories, that's all. Seeing mom always brings them back. It's okay, I'm okay. I just need a shower and some food." I have always been a good liar, I've had years to practice, so Christian just nodded and didn't press it any further.
Taylor has already gotten us a rental, and taken care of our hotel. He put us under his name so if anyone tried to follow us or get to me or Pheobe they would have to dig deep. We arrive at the hotel, which is only ten minutes from mom's house and right on the beach. Our room is bigger then my old apartment by double, and the view over the ocean is incredible. I can't even describe how beautiful the sun set is and it eases all the pain and anxiety running through my brain.
"Pheobe is fast asleep in her room," Christian comes up behind me and kisses my neck. I smile and turn around on the balcony and kiss him back. This man, he is what I need. I haven't felt so in love with anyone before. The need and desire run through me.
"Since she's asleep, how about we get into some comfy clothes. Mom hasn't called me back yet, so we can always see her tomorrow and order in tonight. I want to enjoy our 'vacation'." I kiss his neck and I think he understands what I am trying to say.
"Well, I do like chinese food." He kisses my ear and runs his hand down my back and over my butt.
"Mmm me to, but right now I think I need something else." I whisper in his ear and he slowly pulls me into the room and over to our bedroom and closes the door softly.
"We will need to be quiet so we don't wake you-know-who," he whispers seductively and a giggle softly. This is it. This is what I have been so scared to do, but in this moment it feels so right.
I take off my pants and throw them over in the floor, as Christian walks over and starts to kiss me, really kiss me. I unbutton his pants, and they fall to the floor. I do the same to his shirt and he takes it off as I take off my mine. He picks me up and lays me gently on the bed, kissing every inch of my stomach and chest.
"Are you sure?" The question is soft but I know he's just worried.
"Yes," I kiss his lips as he pulls down my underwear. I can feel him, growing and eager for me. My anxiety starts to come back, but I calm it down by thinking of just Christian. I want this man, I want him in everyway possible.
The next thing I know, his fingers are circling my sex, making me moan softly. He keeps kissing my lips as he slowly inserts them into my folds and I can't help but to gasp. He chuckles quietly and kisses my neck as he does gently circles and pulls them in and out getting me ready. Who know making love could be so, amazing? Exciting? I can't find the right word.
"Are you ready," he asks in a husky voice, and all I can do is nod. My voice gone.
He pulls his boxers off and plops out. My eyes get big as he smiles and shakes his head. Will he even fit? I mean, I birthed a little girl but this will hurt, and before I can get lost in my head with fear, he inserts himself and my world is lost in colors I didn't know could exist. Slowly in and out, looking to make sure I am okay. I hold on tight as he picks up pace, making everything in me shut down except for this little voice in me screaming, 'THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!'
He keeps going, faster and faster and I can feel something in me starting to build up. I keep my mouth on his as he moans into me. Losing himself into something so magical. The amount of energy he has pays off as I explode into muffled screams in his neck, as he climaxes with me. Everything I ever feared, really was in my head. This wonderful man proved it. He slowly pulls out, as I am a little sore.
"For your first time, your first REAL time, you were amazing." He kisses my hair and cuddles into me after putting on his underwear and I do the same. I can't breathe. I feel so, powerful. Like I can conquer the world and I let out a soft giggle.
"Are you laughing at me Miss Steele?" He jokes and kisses my cheek.
"Never Mr. Grey. Thank you. That was, well, I have no words to compare it to. You were amazing." I giggle back as his hands circle around me. My scars don't burn, no memories come back. Just us.
"You are like my own personal heater Anastasia. No matter how hot or cold outside, you are always like the sun." With those soft words I fall into a deep sleep and dream of nothing but Christian and Pheobe.
Christian's POV
My Anastasia, she really is amazing. To overcome such a horrible past, and yet willing to do anything to see everyone smile. I wish I could be half the person that she is. I watch her sleep, and put on a nightgown on her sleeping body, without waking her and check my emails. The trip to Boston has proved to be fruitful, as we are buying old mills and turning them back into running textile mills. Hopefully this will increase the economy and give about 10,000 more jobs.
I look to see Taylor has said there is still no luck in finding John, but a tracking device in Ana's purse has shown he is still in Washington, which I hope he stays. I look back at Ana and I can only imagine what she is thinking. All the fear, all the questions, all the doubts. I could see it on the plane when that annoying stewardess wouldn't leave us alone. If it had just been myself I would have told her to leave, but I didn't want to scare Ana or Pheobe. I don't know what I would do without them. They have given my life new meaning. To be a father, when I had no desire to be one, and to maybe one day be a husband if Anastasia will allow it.
I look to see Ana's phone ringing and see it's her mother. I go to answer it, but I stop. Do I really want to meet the woman that put a man above her own daughter's safety and health? I feel my hands ball up as the phone stops ringing. I don't want Ana to hurt anymore. I have had years to heal over what my mother did, and how she wanted to run away and start over. Ana's mother just wanted someone to take care of her, and didn't care of what happened to anyone else.
I go and softly wake Ana, she mumbles that she loves me, and I smile. "I know baby, but your mother called. I was on the phone with Taylor or I would have answered it myself." I say and she wakes up and looks over me and smiles. She must have had a good dream.
"I'm up, I'm up. What time is it?" She looks over at the clock which reads just after sever in the morning. She shakes her head and slowly gets up and kisses me. I can feel something growing and have to think of other things to stop it or we won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
"Is Pheobe up yet?" and I shake my head, she smiles and get's up and puts on her robe. She walks over to Pheobe's room and get's her up. I can hear her complaining that she's tired and hungry and I quickly put on some clothes and call room service. I have him bring up three plates of the chef's morning special with coffee, two orange juices, chocolate milk, and some hot tea for Ana.
"Well, someone is going to get spoiled with all this princess business," Ana says over to me as she comes back from Pheobe's room. I smile and blame Taylor on being a dad of a daughter. She smiles and walks over to her suitcase to get clothes for herself and Pheobe.
"Can you see what my mom said? She's usualy not up this early even if I call the night before." I look over at her phone, and listen to the voicemail.
"Ana, we are up and awaiting your arrival! I can't wait to meet your boyfriend I hope he is treating you right and he is treating Pheobe right too. Please don't be your usual self. You know how much your step dad loves you and he is sorry that we couldn't make it to graduatoin. He wants to take us all out to dinner to make up for it. How about a day at the beach? We can go swimming and hit up a cafe on the beach as well. Call me and let me know!"
I close the phone and shake my head. If anyone should be treating Ana and Pheobe right it is her. I slow down and calm myself. "She said she wants to spend the day on the beach, and that your step dad would like to go to dinner tonight." I say to Ana as she nods and pulls out a pink and white sun dress and bathing suit, and a yellow over dress for Pheobe and a pink swim suit for her as well. Ana is always on top of things.
"Oh by the way, I packed you some swim trunks from god knows where. The tags were still on them and in french or some other language. Go get dressed Mr. Grey for today you are going to meet my mother. I hope you don't mind constent questions and stories of me when I was like two." She smiles over but the smile doesn't feel like it usually does. There is sadness behind it. Probably thinking of the past.
"yes ma'am" I smile and get dressed as she does. I want to take away all the pain, to calm the demons of the past. First, before I can do that I will have to meet the woman that caused this beautiful, smart, funny goddess to break and shatter. Please let me have the patience to not kill this woman.
John POV
"HOW COULD SHE NOT BE THERE?" I scream at this stupid whore. She is sobbing as I slap her face again. Yes, you like that don't you. Anastasia did. I know she did. She was such a good girl, always doing what I said.
"I.. I'm sorry. She wasn't there. I got her purse and some of her clothes and a locket, but she wasn't there.." I hit her again as she sobs louder. Fucking whores. They can't do anything right, even fuck.
I look out at the rain, trying to think of where she could have gone and an idea came to mind. Her mother is still probably hiding away, but if I find her, she will tell me where Ana is. My sweet Ana, now the mother of my sweet daughter Pheobe. I look over at the pictures of them both. God, the woman Ana has become. I knew she would be beautiful. No man is worthy of her. No man can come close to what she needs. I know what she needs. I know her wants.
"I want you to go to the library and see if you can find anything on her mother. I want to know where she moved, if she changed her last name. Anything. If you do this for me, I will reward you. I will reward you well," I show her a bag of coke and unbutton my pants. I know what this woman wants and I know she will do anything I ask for it.
"I will I promise," I hand her the name of Ana's mother and kiss her hard on the lips. She's no Ana, but she has the same look as her. She will do until I have my sweet girl in my arms. She will come to her senses and see that she needs me.
I watch as she leaves and look at the television as I see Christian Grey and Anastasia holding hands in public as everyone loses their shit over how cute they are and how Grey has become quite the dad. Makes me sick! That's my girl, my girls. I will make him pay. I shine my gun in my hands and lose myself into the sweet memories of Anastasia and how I will make her feel like a woman again.