Thank you for all the support! I'm glad everyone is happy I'm back to writing and I'll try harder to keep up from now on!
"Gaius said she'll be well taken care of while we're gone, didn't he?" Arthur questioned Merlin again, only phrased a tad differently than all the other times he'd asked on the way to the horses awaiting them.
"Yes, he even plans on resting in the nearby chambers so if anything happens, he's within her range," Merlin assured him, not annoyed because he knew how worried Arthur must have been feeling. "Jada is also going to be helping him since I can't be there."
"Kara will be able to heal her in no time, My Lord," Mordred insisted, pale eyes looking into Arthur's. Merlin's slight suspicions died down as Mordred spoke, and he knew he had to trust the young knight.
They galloped out of the square towards the forest. It was a quiet journey, save for the occasional instruction on what path to follow next. Arthur was determined as ever, Merlin had his eye on the King and, in his peripheral vision, Mordred, and the youngest of the trio was a little uncomfortable while the tension hung over them like a dark cloud. Still, he remained nonchalant and kept his eyes peeled. He could not fail Arthur.
"G-Gaius."
Hermione's trembling, icy hand gripped the physician's forearm with such gentleness, he could not believe she was in so much pain. But it was true, and the effects were taking their toll on her appearance. Gaius looked into the almost glassy brown eyes, nodding once.
"Yes, My Lady?" he said softly. Tears leaked from the corners of Hermione's eyes as she placed her other hand on her stomach.
"Is he all right?" Just like that she broke down, and began speaking in a slightly hysterical voice. "I don't know anymore. All I feel is so much pain... and yet I can swear sometimes I feel his heart beating along with mine. The tiniest pulse to match my fading one, but I can feel it. And then there are moments when I hear nothing, feel nothing, and I'm so frightened, Gaius!"
Hermione was sobbing by now, and it made Gaius' heart ache.
"I cannot bear it. I feel for a baby to hold, to make sure it is still breathing, but it's not lying next to me. It's in my womb, and there is nothing I can do! It makes me feel powerless. I can't do anything for him but try to keep living. What kind of mother is that?"
In the middle of her sobbing, she cried out in pain as her nerves lit on fire under her skin. The pain was excruciating, and she arched her back in response. Gaius removed her hand from his arm, the hand that was tightly holding on, and placed it in his own. He allowed her to squeeze his hand, and it hurt him, but what did it matter? She was the one fighting for her life, while he had already lived his and, in turn, he was meant to save others.
"A mother that would sacrifice the easy path of letting go so that her child may have a chance to see the sunlight," Gaius answered quietly as Hermione's convulsions stopped. Hermione risked moving her head to gaze upon the old man, tenderness replacing her pain.
"Gaius," she began, voice surprisingly steady, "When the time comes for my baby to be born, you must promise me something."
"Anything, my dear," Gaius told her, eyebrow raised.
"If I must die so he may live- then so be it."
Gaius stared at the queen, whose eyes were burning with determination despite her frail exterior.
"My Lady, I am quite sure it will not be nec-"
"But if it is necessary" Hermione interrupted, "I would be very much at ease if you complied with my request. Camelot must have an heir."
The look that proceeded her words weakened Gaius so that he had to agree. Once he had, Hermione smiled slightly and her eyelids drooped until she was sound asleep. Gaius pursed his lips and dabbed her face with a wet rag, sighing and hoping Arthur would return with the Druid girl soon. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could bear. Watching a woman you see as your own daughter falter before your eyes... it only weakens an already frail, aged heart.
"Sire, I think we should set up camp now," Merlin suggested to Arthur, moving up to ride alongside him. The sun had set not long ago, and the sky was so dusty the moon had disappeared behind a cloud. It wouldn't be safe to travel any further, and everyone needed a break. Everyone, it seemed, except Arthur.
Arthur shook his head fiercely and replied, "We must keep on."
"There is no more light and the horses need rest," Merlin added. "You need rest."
"And during those hours of rest my wife and son's heartbeats weaken!" Arthur hissed, gloved hands clenched tightly on his reins.
"Merlin is right, My King, we must stop," Mordred piped up, glancing at Merlin. "Besides, Kara is good at staying hidden. We'll have even worse luck finding her at this time of night."
Arthur said nothing momentarily, and Merlin and Mordred's eyes met briefly.
"Fine," Arthur agreed begrudgingly. "But when I see the first shred of light in the sky, we're getting up."
They stopped to tie up the horses. Merlin and Mordred went to find firewood while Arthur sat on a log, thinking.
"Do you really know where she is?" Merlin asked abruptly, eyes straining to see the forest floor.
"Not precisely," Mordred admitted. "But I know where she's generally found."
"How would you know that if you've been in Camelot up until now?" Merlin couldn't help but ask. "You haven't had any communication with the Druids anymore since you joined the knights, or so I thought."
Mordred gritted his teeth and shrugged, picking up a twig.
"Last I remember, she was staying in the White Mountains," he told Merlin.
The warlock said nothing more, only pondering upon the idea that Mordred had not been completely out of contact from other Druids as he might have originally thought.
After collecting enough wood, the men returned to Arthur and a fire was started. Arthur stared into the flickering flames for a few minutes before his deep, quiet voice reached Merlin's ears.
"You knew," he stated simply. Mordred's eyes fell on Merlin and the latter lifted his shameful gaze. Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyelids shut. Merlin's stomach coiled and he nodded once.
"I'm sorry, Arthur," Merlin answered tiredly. "She's my friend. I promised not to tell."
"She is your queen, and I your king!" Arthur shouted, slamming his fist down on the log he sat on. Merlin winced,. "You had no right to keep the existence of my own son from me! No matter what she made you promise! His life means everything to me, and to Camelot as well! I could have protected her better, could have made sure she was properly watched and I would have never let her out of my sight! And now she's dying, Merlin, as well as our child! Why couldn't you just do your duty as my servant and told me what was going on?"
Nearby crows made a loud chatter and then flew away, rustling tree leaves. Merlin swallowed and pucked up the courage to look into Arthur's eyes. If looks could kill, Merlin would have failed his destiny right then and there by dying under the intense dark blue gaze.
"I didn't expect Morgana to find out she was pregnant," Merlin murmured. "It was only supposed to be Gaius and I that knew. Don't you think I worried for her too? For your child? For her health? I tried convincing her many times to tell you, Arthur, believe me. But she was worried. Maybe you can blame me for not doing my proper duty as your servant, but I did my duty as her friend. You can't blame me for her hiding this from you. Perhaps you should instead wonder why she could tell Gaius and I, but not you."
Arthur's passion was deteriorating, and he now looked into Merlin's eyes with disappointment. Not in Merlin, but within himself and his actions. Merlin didn't stop though. No, he couldn't stop now, not when Arthur needed a last push to guide him in the right direction.
"Gaius and I took care of her and gave her all the medicine she needed to stay healthy and to rid herself of pain. Not everyone wishes to betray you, Arthur... I wish you would see that without me having to explain myself. Now, instead of holding a grudge against me for the rest of our journey and thinking about what you could have done better for Hermione, worry about finding the cure. And when you return to Camelot, stay by Hermione's side and be there for her and your child."
Mordred's eyes, wide as coins by now, gazed into the embers of the fire that had (quite symbolically) died down. Arthur slowly stood up and turned to walk away, and Merlin caught sight of a trickle of blood running down the side of his hand as he left.
Arthur trudged into a dense, dark part of the trees and sat, slumped against a tree trunk. Hot tears escaped from the eyelids he had closed and dripped down his strong jaw. Merlin was right. He was pointing his finger at everyone but himself. The real question, the question that prickled his heart was why Hermione had kept this a secret from him. But it could not be answered until he saw her again. He hoped he would return to her still breathing.
"You're not supposed to be my damsel in distress," Arthur muttered into the cold breeze. "You're strong, Hermione. Fight back. Just until I return. Fight."
Wow. Sad chapter after another after another- I hope things get better quickly! My heart is breaking for everyone! Hope you liked the chapter though, despite it's painful moments. I really enjoyed writing Merlin's speech to Arthur, because it's quite unlike Merlin to be so straightforward, but he also knows Arthur needs to hear a different perspective and see things clearly.