Iron Claws and Fragile Hearts
Chapter 13: It's About What You Don't Say
Isaac was almost giddy as he wolfed out and ran back to the McCall house that night. He was mindful to stay in the woods and out of sight from any passing cars, but other than that he let himself enjoy the shift in a way he never truly had before. Derek had always insisted that Isaac keep himself under control, even in the woods, in case he encountered a hunter or a supernatural enemy. Objectively Isaac couldn't fault that wisdom, but it had meant that his only opportunities to explore his wolf side to its fullest extent had been during training or combat. Oh sure, he had played with and tested his strength, speed, and heightened senses in numerous small ways, but he had never before gotten to enjoy everything at once for the pure pleasure of it.
But Derek wasn't Isaac's alpha anymore, and Scott had never told Isaac not to wolf out and play in the woods, so he wasn't technically doing anything wrong. Besides, they had a tentative peace with the hunters right now and since defeating the alpha pack there had been no sign of any new supernatural threats...except the ones that seemed to be developing within the pack, within Scott, Stiles, and Allison. Regardless, if Isaac couldn't let go and have fun on a night like tonight, when could he?
He grabbed a low hanging tree limb as he bounded by it, intent on swinging himself up and onto it. That plan was aborted as it creaked and snapped in his hands just as he launched himself into the air. He didn't mind. He laughed, enjoying the challenge of landing on his feet without colliding with anything. He could practically hear Derek's stern voice in his head, pointing out that Isaac could have smelled the rotting wood and avoided his blunder if he'd been paying better attention. That was true, but Isaac didn't feel like he had made a mistake; he had simply found an unexpected way of enjoying himself.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed in his pocket.
Unknown: Btw you're really cute when you smile.
Isaac had already been smiling before he opened the message, smiled harder when he saw it was from 'unknown,' and full on grinned when he read it.
Isaac: Shut up
Unknown: No [hand flipping someone off emoji]
Isaac snickered and waited a few minutes before putting his phone away, telling himself he just wanted to check his email and find out tomorrow's weather forecast, and okay yes, if Ethan happened to text him again he supposed he could be bothered to read it.
When he got home twenty minutes later, after poking his head in to confirm that Scott was zoned out peacefully on his bed, he sent another text, this one to Melissa.
Isaac: Home. Everything went fine.
He chuckled as he plugged his phone in to charge and took off his clothes, dumping his shredded underwear straight into the wastebasket under his desk. He had told Ethan getting off with him had been 'okay' and now he was describing his overall night as 'fine.' At this rate Isaac wasn't sure he'd even be able to survive a 'pretty good' orgasm.
That thought still in his mind, he tentatively raised his arm, sniffing the place where Ethan had touched him with sticky fingers. He moaned. The scent had blended into the background on the way home, but now that he was focusing on it again, it was potent...and still every bit as wonderful. He hated to wash it away, but he needed a shower.
Once out of the shower and in bed, Isaac was treated to another intensely pleasant olfactory treat: Stiles' scent on his pillow and bedding from his sleepover the previous night. It was a much less overtly sexual aroma than Ethan's semen, but every bit as delicious and pleasant in its own way. Isaac snuggled in directly atop the spot, his face nuzzled against the pillow Stiles had used. Between feeling utterly sexually satisfied and thoroughly enveloped in his packmate's soothing scent, Isaac slept better that night than he had in weeks.
The next morning was surprisingly pleasant for a typical Wednesday. Scott radiated a toasty-sweet happiness all over the house, and Melissa was tired but content as she fixed breakfast for the three of them. Isaac supposed her more sedate happiness was due to relief that Scott had gotten through the night safely in the mountain ash ring. He also allowed himself the indulgence of considering that maybe she was also relieved he hadn't had any trouble in the woods. It might have been unlikely, but it felt oddly believable as she ruffled his hair along with Scott's before sending them off to school.
"You're in a good mood today," Scott said as he handed Isaac his helmet in the driveway.
"Yep." Isaac strapped on the helmet and climbed onto the back of Scott's motorcycle. "So are you."
Scott smiled at him before taking his place on the seat in front of Isaac. "Yep."
Isaac and Scott got to school early so they stayed together, both going to Isaac's locker so he could change out his books. Then they would head to Scott's locker. Isaac liked that Scott was sticking by him, and Scott had already texted the others to try to arrange an informal pack meeting before classes started for the day. Isaac was eager to see his packmates, even Allison whom he hadn't spoken to since their breakup the previous week. It didn't hurt as much today. In fact he hadn't thought about it at all until now. He was cautiously optimistic that he and Allison could get through this transition period with their friendship intact. They were pack after all, and while that hadn't ultimately meant a whole lot in Isaac's first pack with Derek (what with everyone running away, getting killed, kicking him out, or leaving town), he was beginning to trust that things were different in his new pack with Scott. His packmates mattered. He wasn't willing to lose any of them, not again.
Just as Isaac was closing his locker the distinctive thrum of a heartbeat caught his attention, well twin heartbeats actually. He spun around, unsure what to do as the former alphas strode confidently through the hallway toward them, side-by-side with matching cocky smirks on their faces. He usually prepared for a fight when he saw them, and seeing Aiden still had that effect on him – his anger and adrenaline wanted to start pumping in anticipation of a battle – but seeing Ethan had the opposite effect. Isaac just didn't hate him anymore and was no longer viscerally afraid of him. In fact...
"Hey." Ethan's voice was low, too quiet for anyone but the werewolves to hear in the noisy, chaotic hallway. He flicked his gaze to Isaac and let it linger just long enough for Isaac to feel it.
"Hey," Isaac called back automatically, his voice just as low.
For a moment Ethan's smirk softened into a genuine smile. Then his head and eyes were pointed forward again as the twins continued past them without further interaction.
"Wow, you guys are really starting to get along," Scott said, his hand on Isaac's shoulder as they walked away in the opposite direction toward Scott's locker.
"All I said was hey,"
"Yeah but...you meant it."
"How do you not mean a hey?" Isaac asked.
"It's about what you don't say," Stiles interjected, falling into step on Scott's other side. "Like, 'hey, what's up?' versus 'hey fuck you!' It's a different hey even if you don't say the other stuff."
Isaac leaned around Scott and made eye contact with Stiles. "Hey."
"Okay that's just rude," Stiles answered, folding his arms.
Scott chuckled and patted their backs as he stepped forward to unlock his locker.
Isaac propped himself against the locker next to Scott's and was neither surprised nor bothered when Stiles crowded close to him and slumped against his chest.
"Ugh, I'm so tired," he complained, nuzzling his head against Isaac's neck.
Isaac snaked an arm around Stiles' lower back and discreetly inhaled his scent. It made his lungs tingly and his chest tight with happiness.
"Wow!" Scott remarked, gaping at them. "You guys have gotten a lot closer all of a sudden too."
Isaac's cheeks heated as Stiles answered. "Yeah, Isaac's my new werewolf body pillow. You know, since you've been all clawy and bitey lately."
Isaac and Scott both flinched.
"Keep your voice down," Scott cautioned, frowning.
"And your brain on," Isaac added in a harsh tone. He thought about pushing Stiles away in rebuke but...well he felt really nice where he was, and he was tired after all. It wouldn't have been fair to deny him a little rest and comfort.
Stiles grumbled and raised his head, but otherwise remained wrapped around Isaac. "Are we going to have that pack meet- err, packing contest this morning or not?"
Isaac sighed and Scott rolled his eyes as he shoved a book into his locker and slammed the metal door shut.
"It looks like Lydia can't compete this morning," Scott said as he checked his phone. "She's running late, and Allison hasn't texted me back yet."
"You're lucky then," Danny remarked from the row of lockers across from them. "I've gone on trips with Lydia. She's a packing genius. She would have won easy."
Stiles coughed and choked, and Scott looked like he had swallowed a goldfish. Isaac cringed but tried to look casual.
"Have fun with your contest, guys," Danny said pleasantly as he walked off.
"How much of that do you think he heard?" Stiles whispered.
"Enough to know that you're an idiot," Isaac answered.
"Well yeah but..."
Isaac's good mood continued until lunch when he went outside and spotted Allison across the common grounds sitting by herself under an oak tree. Sadness and distress hung over her like a cloud. Isaac had to do something to cheer her up.
"Hey," he called as he approached.
She frowned but gave him a small wave.
"Mind if I join you?"
"Isaac..."
He didn't wait for her to finish as he plopped down next to her. "Scott was thinking about having a pack meeting today."
She stared straight ahead at nothing in particular. "I don't think I can make it. I'm not feeling well."
"Oh, what's wrong?" Isaac asked, keeping the question as light as possible.
Her muscles tensed, and anger swirled in her scent. "I don't want to talk about it."
He tried not to take that personally, but it was difficult. He couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't trust him and never truly had.
"So, did you hear about Scott's Iron Claw incident," he asked, hoping it might spur her to open up about her own problems.
She sighed, still staring straight ahead, her jaw clenched with barely controlled emotion. "Yes."
"Stiles has been having really bad nightmares too and–"
"I'm sorry they're having problems!" Allison snapped, finally looking at Isaac.
He kind of wished she hadn't. He had never seen so much hatred in her eyes before, not even when Gerard had tried to brainwash her a few months earlier. It was devastating to be looked at that way by someone he cared about...again. He couldn't help but compare it to the way his father used to look at him.
Her face softened as Isaac's started to crumple. "I'm sorry, Isaac, but I really can't do this right now."
That's nothing new.
Before he could form a verbal reaction she got up and jogged away from him, apparently unable to stand his company even a moment longer.
He sighed and closed his eyes. The good mood he had so desperately clung to for the past twelve hours was utterly destroyed, and as that look flashed through his mind, he couldn't even remember what it had felt like.
His mood didn't improve as a warm scent brushed his face and a familiar heartbeat reverberated in his ears...but it didn't get worse either.
"You okay?" Stiles asked as he took Allison's place beside Isaac.
Isaac opened his eyes and regarded Stiles curiously. "Would you tell me about your nightmares?"
"W-what do you mean?"
"Like what happens, how they feel, what you think they mean. That kind of thing."
Stiles licked his lips nervously, a conflicted expression on his face.
"You don't have to," Isaac said, feeling guilty for springing it on him and wanting to let him off the hook.
"No, I" –Stiles licked his lips again and very consciously pressed his bare arm against Isaac's– "I trust you. If you want to know. I'll tell you."
Isaac pulled his arm away and a wave of hurt crashed over Stiles' face before it just as quickly rolled back out to sea as Isaac dropped his arm heavily over Stiles' shoulders and pulled him against his body. "Your spot's free."
Stiles shot him a look laced with so much unguarded affection that Isaac couldn't help but cough and look away. A moment later Stiles' head was on his chest and Isaac was tracing lazy lines along his side.
"Last night it was Scott," Stiles said softly, his heart rate accelerating. "I was stabbing him with a hunting knife, over and over. It was very...realistic."
"That sounds awful," Isaac said quietly, tightening his grip on Stiles just a little.
"Before that it was Lydia. I strangled her and then" –Stiles cringed and pressed the side of his face harder against Isaac's chest– "cut up the body."
"Oh god...If you want to stop talking about–"
"It's been you too," Stiles whispered in a shaky voice. "You remember the night you woke me up, and I was really happy to see you?"
Isaac knew he shouldn't have smiled but he did. That hadn't even been a week ago yet, but he already recognized it as major turning point in their relationship. "Yeah."
"I was dreaming a-about when you jumped in front of my Jeep earlier that evening."
"Oh god, Stiles, I wouldn't have done that if I had known–"
"In my dream I didn't stop...I accelerated...and backed up...and accelerated...and..."
Isaac squeezed him closer, wishing he could pull the painful images out of Stiles' head the way he could have drawn physical pain out of his body.
"I would never hurt any of you," Stiles said with a quiet ferocity.
"I know that. Of course you wouldn't," Isaac answered.
"But it feels so real when it happens. Like–like every time I think I really have killed one of you. I-I always...It makes me want to die in my dreams, do to myself what I did to you or the others. And sometimes when I wake up...that's what doesn't feel real."
Isaac held him, slowly stroking his hand along the side of Stiles' body.
"Have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?" Isaac asked after the tension and fear had finally eased from Stiles' body.
Stiles shook his head against Isaac's chest. "What is it?"
"It's where you learn how to control your dreams."
Stiles scoffed. "Doesn't sound like a real thing."
"I do it all the time."
"Really?" Stiles raised his head and looked at him.
Isaac nodded. "I have some stuff bookmarked. I'll send it to you."
"Isaac, thank you, but I-I don't think these are just regular bad dreams. I think..."
"I know." He slid his hands along Stiles' arms, gently squeezing them. "But maybe it'll still help."
Stiles nodded. "I guess it's worth a try."
"Come on." Isaac stood, pulling Stiles up with him. "Let's go get some lunch."
After getting their food, Isaac and Stiles found Scott and Lydia at their usual table. Isaac was unsurprised that Allison wasn't there today; however, in her usual place was Danny, effectively preventing them from discussing pack business. Lydia was outwardly calm and collected as she chatted about a movie she wanted to see, but based on the discreet looks she kept giving Isaac and the others she had something she wanted to tell them. Isaac sort of wished he could just tell Danny to get lost so they could speak freely, but he knew that wouldn't exactly go over well with anyone at the table, and it would have been a lousy thing to do.
A couple minutes later, Ethan and Aiden entered the cafeteria and sat down a few tables away. Their arrival relieved some of the frustration Isaac felt about Danny's presence since the pack couldn't have discussed private matters with the twins in the room anyway, but it also made Isaac even more uncomfortable about having Danny at their table. He didn't miss the brief but significant look of anguish that passed over Ethan's face when he saw Danny, and it felt like a punch in the gut when Ethan's hurt gaze shifted a fraction of an inch and he made eye contact with Isaac.
Isaac frowned and shifted awkwardly in his seat under the weight of Ethan's scrutiny. It felt like an entirety before Ethan finally looked away and returned his attention to his brother, making an off-hand remark about the quality of their food.
Isaac didn't like that he didn't have to seek out Ethan's scent to monitor it for emotional changes. He had automatically honed in on it as soon as Ethan walked into the room, and he smelled the hurt, anger, and confusion billowing off of him the moment the emotions formed. Isaac's focus on Ethan was a bad sign. The fact that he felt guilty sitting next to Danny was an even worse sign. Why the hell was he taking Ethan's side in this breakup, and when had Ethan's feelings suddenly started mattering to him?
Isaac inwardly called bullshit on himself. Obviously this was because of what had happened between them last night. Isaac just kind of hated that it had affected him this much. He didn't want to feel anything for Ethan.
A flare of anger burned through him. This was Ethan's fault. He had probably planned it this way on purpose: Get Isaac off really hard so he starts siding with you – fucking asshole.
"Isaac, what is it? Your mood is all over the place," Scott whispered almost silently behind a piece of bread.
Dammit, now Ethan was looking at them, regarding Isaac curiously and obviously awaiting his answer.
Isaac raised his milk to his mouth. "Can we talk later, Scott? We're not alone."
Ethan dropped his eyes to his plate like he'd been caught.
"Sure, just hang in there," Scott answered, not turning his head but glancing sideways toward the twins' table with his eyes to indicate he understood what Isaac meant.
"What is your problem?" Aiden asked his brother from their table, his tone none too kind.
Isaac couldn't help but draw a comparison between the gentle, concerned way Scott had checked on him versus the rough, demanding way Aiden was checking on Ethan.
Isaac dismissed the thought. Okay so Aiden wasn't being nice to Ethan. Of course he wasn't; he was Aiden. At least he had noticed something was wrong, which Isaac reluctantly admitted he appreciated on Ethan's behalf. Isaac had spent years sitting by himself, not being okay, and no one had noticed. Not even Scott and Stiles had noticed Isaac until he had become a werewolf.
"Dude, did your Jello tell you a sad story or something?" Stiles asked, draping his arm around Isaac's shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Isaac leaned into him. "Just reminiscing."
"Well stop," Stiles answered more sternly than Isaac would have expected. "Live in the now. It's better here."
Isaac nodded and gave Stiles a quick one-armed hug, appreciating just how right he was without even knowing it. Isaac should focus on the here and now. He wasn't that lonely boy suffering quietly by himself anymore. Today as soon as he'd become only a little upset two people had noticed and checked on him, three if he counted the concerned affection radiating silently from Lydia.
Danny was looking at him too, but with less concern and more confusion and curiosity. "So what's going on here?" he asked, nodding at Isaac and Stiles, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Stiles is just being a good friend," Isaac answered almost defiantly. He was normally completely cool with Danny, but the guy was unintentionally doing a lot of things today that were getting on Isaac's nerves, and that certainly included putting him on the spot about his burgeoning feelings for Stiles.
"You called me a friend!" Stiles declared happily and with no trace of self consciousness about the fact that everyone at the table was listening.
Isaac turned back to him, not seeing what the big deal was. "Well...yeah."
"You've never done that before," Stiles told him, still smiling as he went back to eating.
"But...you knew it." Isaac wasn't sure if he should feel guilty or annoyed.
Stiles shrugged. "Still nice hearing it."
Isaac furrowed his brow, utterly confounded by his friend and packmate. Over the last couple days Isaac had gradually started to acknowledge that he was developing a crush on Stiles. He wasn't stupid, and he could only deny it for so long. Stiles felt a little too good in his arms and his scent was a little too comforting for it to just be friendship. Yet as much as he had always assumed that Stiles was completely straight, he had started to delude himself into thinking that just maybe he had been wrong, that maybe Stiles had feelings for him too. He seemed so receptive and affectionate.
This emphasis Stiles was placing on their friendship, seemed to confirm Isaac's worst fear: friendship had been all Stiles wanted from Isaac in the first place. He had even said in so many words that morning that the only reason he had cuddled up with Isaac was because of Scott's problem. He had probably just been feeling scared and isolated and had turned to Isaac for some much needed support and affection. Isaac was really glad he had been able to provide that for Stiles. It made him feel needed, and he was legitimately grateful that he and Stiles had bonded over everything that was happening. It was just disappointing that that's all it had been.
Isaac felt unexpectedly broken at the realization. He hadn't realized how invested he had gotten in this completely theoretical potential relationship with Stiles, yet it felt a bit like someone had replaced his intestines with broken glass and was now giving him a vigorous tummy rub.
Isaac's phone buzzed.
Unknown: Your sadness is making my fruitcup taste rancid. Knock it off. [angry face emoji]
Isaac couldn't stop the chortle that escaped his mouth as he looked up and saw Ethan grimacing dramatically at a forkful of pineapple. Aiden had left the table and Ethan was alone now.
Isaac: You caught me. My singular goal today was to spoil your lunch.
Unknown: Asshole
Isaac tried really hard not to smile as he put his phone back in his pocket, thinking about his plans to see Ethan that night. There may still have been broken pieces inside of him, but he was pretty sure there was more than one way to put them back together.
-000-
End Note: Feedback is always appreciated.