For those of you not on the forum, I was unwell last week which was why there was no update (well still not so good this week) but I managed to finish the prep on Chapter 13. So enjoy :)

The way back

Katie trotted out of the school and gave a happy wave in Klara's general direction. The other side of the step she paused and waited for Ben who was three steps behind her before together the two children bounded towards the young nurse.

"KLARA!" Katie gleefully wrapped her arms around Klara's waist and hugged her tight. "How's Mama? Was she good today?"

Klara chuckled. "She was very good, though she didn't eat very much at lunchtime, she said she was..." Klara paused for effect. "Full!"

"Course she's full she's got a baby in her," Ben looked at Klara blankly. "That's why she's all...um...bulgy," he rubbed his head as if pondering an idea. "How does it actually work? I mean how does a baby actually come out?" he sucked his teeth. "Does she crack like an egg?"

"NO!" Katie shook her head and rolled her eyes, "babies come out of lady bits." Katie marched up to her friend and tucked her arm into his. "When a lady has a baby the lady bits grow really big and then the baby falls out and someone catches it, but it hurts right Klara."

"Um yeah it does," Klara stifled a laugh as Ben blushed red but at the same time turned green as he no doubt pictured what Katie had just described. "Don't worry Ben, you won't have to ever see that unless you want."

"Sully is gonna be there when Dr Mike...um... you know," Ben coughed nervously.

"Of course Papa is gonna be there," Katie rolled her eyes again as the trio made their way across the meadow. "He caught me when I was born."

"Oh well, I'll be there when we have babies," Ben told her.

"We're having babies Benny," Katie's face lit up, "how citing, how many?"

"Dunno," Ben shrugged, blushing as Klara stifled a laugh. "As long as we have a little girl like you then I don't mind."

Katie gave a delighted squeal and squeezed Ben's arm before giving a contented sigh and started to almost skip alongside him. "Are you and the Reverend Alex gonna have babies?" she looked up at Klara. "When you get married I mean." She cast a sideways look at Ben. "Ya gotta be married to have babies."

"I know that," Ben rolled his eyes. "I gotta go, I said I would help Daddy Tim go for a walk," he detached his arm from Katie's vice like grip. The little boy hesitated for a moment, his green eyes scanning over Katie as if he was struggling to decide something. With a soft almost undetectable sigh he tipped his hand to one side in a half wave. "See ya."

"Bye Benny," Katie waved at him and watched her best friend run off towards the store.

"Hold up a second Katie." Klara requested as she spotted Alex out of the corner of her eye.

"Hello ladies," Alex greeted them as he walked down the street.

"Ladies," Katie giggled. She suddenly let go of Klara's hand and scanned the young man who came to a halt almost an arms width from Klara. "You can kiss you know. I see it all the time with Mama and Papa."

"Oh," Alex blushed but stepped closer to Klara and gave her a quick yet tender kiss on the cheek.

"I think Papa needs to give you lessons Reverend Alex," Katie tutted at his effort. "Papa is the best kisser. He is always kissing Mama, even more now that she's growing Storm."

"I like the way he kisses me," Klara lunged for the little girl and tickled her. "Come on, we need to get ya Ma home."

"Right," Katie nodded purposefully. "Come on," she slipped out of Klara's grasp and grabbed Alex's hand. Katie dragged Alex along behind her towards the clinic. Bounding onto the walk she reached for the bell to ring for her mother but hesitated and instead turned to look up at the young Reverend. "When are you going to ask Klara to marry you?"

"I...um..." Alex blushed crimson and cast a look at Klara.

"Coz if you don't hurry up I reckon someone is gonna ask her instead," Katie grinned at Klara.

"You reckon huh?" Klara tweaked the little girl's nose. "Come on go pester ya Ma to get her home."
"On it," Katie threw open the clinic door and made a noise of frustration. "MAMA we gotta go home, remember."

Michaela looked up from the chart she was working on and smiled towards her daughter. "I just need to finish this."

"No Mama." Katie bounced into the room and seized her mother's arm. "We gotta go, you gotta stop at 3 and it is...um..." she stared intently at the clock working out the time.

"Alright, alright," Michaela laid her pen on the table, "but I shall need my arm to get up," she returned her daughter's smile though not with the same triumphant fervour and slowly raised herself from the chair.

Michaela breathed heavily with the effort of moving her body and looked across at the young couple stood in the doorway. "What are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Babysitting," Klara told her collecting Michaela's coat from the rack and holding it out. "Now come on, home."

"Very well," Michaela caught her breath, not enjoying the new feeling of the baby pushing up into her lungs, she forced a smile. "Thank you for getting the wagon for me."

"No bother," Klara smiled and studied Michaela's concerned face. "You need a hand?"

"Perhaps Alex could stand behind me, in case I stumble." Michaela self consciously rubbed her middle and followed Katie out of the clinic.

"Mama give me ya bag," Katie who had already scrambled up into the wagon held out her hand to take her mother's ubiquitous black bag. "You want me to pull ya?"

"No thank you Sweetheart," Michaela seized the sides of the wagon and carefully placed her foot to step upwards. She resisted the urge to groan as her action squeezed her swollen middle and stepped into the wagon breathing hard. "Thank you," she smiled weakly at Alex who as she requested had shadowed her.

"You're welcome," Alex smiled pleasantly at her, "I shall see you on Thursday."

"You shall," Michaela seized the reins. "Have fun with the triplets."

"Oh we shall," Klara slipped her arm into Alex, she waved to Katie as Michaela steered the wagon into the street and towards home. Turning her head slightly she studied her beau. "You Ok?"

"Oh I'm fine, is Dr Mike?" Alex asked turning to look at Klara as Michaela disappeared from view.

"She's tired and she's getting big and struggling with it. She's so tiny normally and it is getting a bit overwhelming for her size wise, but you know what she is like," Klara rolled her eyes. "She doesn't like to admit weakness, it was a big step for her asking you to shadow her," she kissed Alex lovingly on the cheek. "I think she's started to get nervous when Sully isn't around." She rested her chin on his shoulder. "So you ready?"

"For the triplets?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"No for Sadie," Klara pushed a loose strand of curly blond hair from her face. "She is another one who is very tired," she rubbed his arm. "I wish I could get through to Dad, he just seems to have switched off."

"He's missing the children," Alex rubbed her arm back.

"And her," Klara added. "He just needs to be proactive, just needs to find that way back," she dropped her hand to her side. "I just wish I could get through to him."

"You will," Alex inclined his head indicating to her that they should get moving. "You are the most persuasive person I know."

Michaela looked towards Sully as he sat slightly hunched over removing his boots. "Is you back sore?"

"Nah," Sully sat up and looked over his shoulder at her. "Yours?"

"A little, the bath helped," she smiled coyly at him, before casting her eyes down to the copper tub in front of their own fireplace so that she had been able to have a bath without the danger of the girls intruding on her and asking her questions about her changing and growing shape.

"You want me to rub it for you?" Sully asked swivelling round to look at her.

"No," Michaela shook her head. "I'm comfortable," she gave a wry smile. "We know how rare that is."

Sully chuckled and returned his attention back to his feet. "Sure do."

"So..." Michaela started before pausing as the baby kicked her squarely in the diaphragm and made her hiccup.

"So..." Sully looked round at her again, smiling as he saw her battle with her new dilemma. "Violet's bed?"

"Yes," Michaela hiccupped again and rolled her eyes before holding her breathe to try and stop them.

"I'll put it in with Esmee for now." Sully told her, spinning round to kneel beside the bed so he could have a better view of her middle, slowly one of his hands reached out and began rhythmically stroking the swell beneath her shift. "Then once we know what Storm is, the girls will either stay put or I'll move Esmee into Brian's old room, so that Violet and Storm will share coz they're younger."

"I understand," Michaela nodded bringing her hands to join Sully's on her middle in an attempt to calm the baby who seemed to be getting more and more active. "Were Esmee and Katie arguing over what Storm is earlier?"

"Yeah," Sully grinned. "Katie is desperate for it to be a boy and Esmee insists it's a girl, because they are all girls and," he made quote marks in the air, "'No like boys'. I'll remind her of that when she is Brian's age."

"Do you have a preference?" Michaela asked him nervously.

"No, just want Storm," Sully smiled reassuringly at her and resumed tenderly stroking her middle. "Just want you and Storm safe and well. I'm beyond caring if Storm will have dangly bits or girl parts," he smirked as he used his daughter's description of genitals. "You want that little boy?"

"I would very much like that little copy of you," Michaela smiled lovingly at her husband before raising her hand and brushing a finger through the front of his hair. "But I know that chances are if we have a son he'll look just as much like me," she chuckled. "So other then Storm arriving safe and well, all I shall say is I hope the baby has your blue eyes. Katie has one of my eyes, Violet has the other, Esmee has the blue eyes and I think it only fair we have another blue eyed baby," she hiccupped again, "and for it not to be enormous."

"You really starting to feel it?" Sully asked sympathetically.

"Yes," Michaela sighed with resignation. "My weight gain is despicable and well, you can see how I'm growing," she pushed the top of her belly, the swell encompassing the entire space of her torso beneath her breasts. "Nowhere to go but further out. I think Storm shall be long, she's taking up so much room."

"As long as 'he'," Sully grinned at her unintentional use of a personal pronoun. "Don't get stuck like Esmee did." He grimaced at the memory of her lying in agony with Esmee not able to deliver because her shoulder was stuck.

"Ten weeks," Michaela whispered resting her head back against the bed.

"Ten weeks," Sully kissed her cheek. "You can do it. You can do anything," he ran his finger down the line of her face making her shiver with anticipation. "Sides we got the wedding to keep you occupied."

"I can't believe our son shall be getting married in 4 weeks," Michaela shook her head in disbelief. "My first little one," she smiled almost reminiscing. "I never thought he would end up 6 foot tall."

"Me neither," Sully chuckled. "But he's a fine man."

"Much more you then Ethan," Michaela whispered. "Other than the blonde hair, there is nothing of that man in him."

"Good," Sully nodded. "See we already got our son. It don't matter what's cooking. I think it's time for bed," he noted Michaela attempt to stifle a yawn. "You gonna stay like that?"

Michaela studied her position, propped slightly on her side, supported by all the pillows. "Do you mind?"

"Nope," Sully lifted from his knees to kiss her on her plumpening lips. "Long as I get to be near you when I sleep I'm happy."

Klara regarded the sprawled figure of her father on the floor of his office. Semi naked he was laying face down on pile of rags, which on closer observation she realised were his clothes. She touched the sole of his bare foot with the toe of her boot in an attempt to wake him. She rolled her eyes as he grunted and mashed his face into his make shift mattress.

"Dad," she tapped the bottom of his foot again. "Dad," Hank jerked his leg and mumbled something. "Dad."

Klara winced as her father swore and blamed a rat, his perceived attacker. "Dad its Klara," she banged her hand against the wall. "WAKE UP!"

"What?" Hank jerked awake, he partially rolled over and pushed his long hair from his face. "Klara?"

"Oh," Klara baulked and spun round. "Dad pants," Hank looked downwards and groaned, in an effort to make himself more comfortable last night having undone his tight trousers. "Why aren't you wearing any under clothes?" Klara asked tapping her foot insistently against the floor as she tried to remove the image that had just been burnt into her eyes.

"I ain't got any clean ones," Hank mumbled, he sighed he had never had to look after himself in that way before he had always had someone else to do it for him, whether it be mother, aunt, his prostitutes or his wife he had never had to wash his own clothes. "What do you want?"

"Breakfast," Klara told him, "and to fix this mess."

"What mess?" Hank mumbled grabbing hold of his desk and using it to pull himself upright. He stretched and gave a satisfied moan as several of his joints popped and clicked.

"What mess," Klara looked back at him and rolled her eyes, "your separation from your family."

"Oh that mess," Hank selected a shirt from the 'mattress' and started pulling it on. "I tried talking to her."

"She doesn't need or want talking. She needs help with the kids," Klara told him with an air of annoyance. "Get dressed, Grace's five minutes. We're gonna fix this, I mean it, if it kills us, we are at least going to try."

Klara stared at her father intently as he slumped into the chair opposite. For all intensive purposes she was staring at a man who appeared at the same time like he was 4 years old and 100 years old, he looked almost bewildered, something which he had never let happen, not in public. In the public eye he was always the gruff bartender and that guard never came down unless he was with the children or if he was with her and even then he would be laughing and joking. But his bravado was gone, the bluff and courage that had got him through so many years had deserted him, and for the first time he looked weak to her.

"Dad."

"Klara," he murmured back.

"I think I know how I can get you a toe in the door," she told him softly.

"Ain't paying a toe in the door?" Hank shot at her.

"No, that is an obligation," Klara raised her eyebrow disapprovingly. "Or do you want your children to starve?"

"Ya know I don't," Hank grumbled sliding further into the chair.

"Then shut up," Klara gave him a withering look, she took a breath, steeling herself for what she was about to say. "You need to watch the children, for a night, have them from a lunchtime to a lunchtime, so Sadie can have a rest."

Hank sat up, his face contorted, staring at Klara like he thought she was mad. "Close the Phoenix?"

"Yes."

"For a day?" he repeated slowly. "From lunchtime?"

"Yes."

"And lose a day's coin!" Hank scoffed.

"And get your family back," Klara shot at him. "Look each time you see her to give her money she is tired and that makes her even more annoyed at you. She is never going to even give you a chance when she is like that. She needs a chance to relax, and regroup."

"But it's a day's wage," Hank ran his fingers through his hair.

"That could change your whole life," Klara rolled her eyes, slowly she sat upright and made eye contact with him, her blue eyes boring into his. "There is only so much that Alex and I can do, and I hate, hate, hatehearing Jordy go 'Daidy, no Daidy' and crying because you are not there. All of them crying because you are not there." She shook his head. "Sadie thinks you care more about the Phoenix then her, more about money…"

"I don't, that's rubbish," Hank scowled. "I want her back, I know I was an idiot I…"

"Dad I know," Klara almost shouted at him, she glanced to her side realising that she was drawing attention to herself. "Look, I know that, she knows that, she's just too angry at you at the moment, you need to do something which is so out of character to make her look around that anger," she looked up as Grace sauntered over with two plates and set them on the table. "Thank you Grace."

"Thanks," Hank mumbled staring down at the plate of food, he had not been eating breakfast since the break up as he had been getting up late.

"Well someone has to look after you," Klara muttered collecting her cutlery, "and you really need to clean that room, and wash your clothes."

"You offering?" Hank grinned cheekily at her.

"I am not washing your underpants." Klara shuddered. "That is disgusting, but I will help, this time only with your other stuff."

Horace banged the gavel calling the meeting to it's end. "So if no one got anything else to say..."

"Actually," Hank raised his hand, "I got something."

"Oh…um…alright." Horace looked at Michaela for help, surprised that Hank would want to add anything to what had been a standard meeting that in all honesty had not been needed to be held at all, and had only been held to update the minutes.

"Yeah, see, thing is that the Phoenix is gonna be shut on tomorrow all day. I got something to do." Hank stared at the table refusing to make eye contact with anyone. "Be back open Sunday around 2," he glanced at Horace. "That's it."

"Well meeting adjourned," Horace struck the gavel again. "See you Sunday Dr Mike," Horace nodded to Michaela as she rose slowly from her chair. "You have a good day off."

"Thank you Horace," Michaela nodded to him before slowly walking towards the end of the table. "Hank?"

"Oh sorry Michaela," Hank jumped to his feet to let her through. "Guess ya can't squeeze through things anymore," he smiled warmly at her.

"I can just about manage a door," Michaela returned his warm expression. "May I ask a question?"

"If I say no ya just gonna grumble, so go for it," Hank flicked his hair over his shoulders.

"The something to do. Would that be the triplets?" Michaela raised her eyebrow quizzically.

"Yeah," Hank gave a soft contented sigh. "Klara's idea she's got a plan for getting me and Sadie back together."

"Well your daughter's plans are usually effective." Michaela rolled her eyes slightly as she thought of the way she had been forced to adjust her working week, though it was becoming clear to her that two days in a row was about all she could manage as her weight continued to climb, her waistline expanded and her stamina waned.

"Ain't really sure what I'm gonna do with them," Hank mumbled. "Spose I could take em to the Meadow to play for a bit."

"Well," Michaela glanced at Sully who was approaching with the girls. "You are welcome to bring them over for a play date with the girls." She looked hopefully at her husband. "That would be alright wouldn't it?"

"With the triples?" Katie asked trotting up with Esmee a step behind her. "That would be fun."

"Sure," Sully nodded bouncing Violet up and down to make the two year old giggle. "You don't mind sharing ya toys, do ya Na'he?"

Esmee turned to look at her father her face creased as she considered his question, slowly she tipped her head and then rolled her neck so that she was looking up at Hank. "No Tchew," she stated seriously. "And da Boy can only play wiv some."

"The boy," Hank chuckled. "I'll tell em not to chew them. And I am fine with the boy not playing with ya dollies."

"Okies," Esmee shrugged and sauntered over to her mother and wrapped her arms around Michaela's legs. "Mama need ta go home."

"You do," Michaela peered down at her daughter who had positioned herself so she was only just visible around her middle.

"No, You Mama." Esmee rolled her eyes. "Da baby home," she giggled and then reached her little hand and patted Michaela's belly. "She need ta go home."

"She is right Mama 'he' needs ta go home." Katie joined her sister patting her mother's middle. "Come on Mama home time."

"Ya sure ya want three more of an afternoon?" Hank smirked at Michaela as the girls tried to pull her out of the building.

"Oh it will be fine, it shall be good for them to interact with other children some more, especially Violet," she reached and stroked her youngest daughter's cheek. "We shall have some fun tomorrow with the triplets."

"Tripples Mama," Katie corrected her. "That's more fun ta say, the little girl span and looked up at Hank with a cheeky grin. "See ya tomorrow Misser Lawson, don't be late, we'll be waiting."

Sadie pulled the wriggling toddler further up her lap as she attempted to stick Linda's foot into the shoe. The children were excited because she was putting their shoes on, as that meant they were going out. She stifled a yawn as she ran through what she had put in the children's overnight bag. It was a long time since she had had the night to herself , not since her operation over a year ago, and she knew it would be strange. When Hank had approached her and asked to take the children for the night the first thing other then confusion as to what he was up to was all the chores she would be able to get done without three little people running around under her feet. That was until Klara had cobbled her and insisted that she would take Sadie somewhere to relax even if it was just for a few hours, the chores could wait for Sunday morning.

"Leave it Rhys," she called to her son, as the little boy's curiosity got the better of him and he approached the bag. "No."

"No," Rhys repeated and dropped to his bottom, he gave her a sad guilty look out of the top of his big blue eyes and gave a little shudder, just like he did before he was about to cry.

Sadie opened her mouth to call out and soothe him in an attempt to stop his inevitable tears but a knock on the door got their first. "It's open," she called out still battling to put the shoe on her squirming daughter.

The door crept opened slowly and Hank's face appeared through crack. "It's me."

"DAIDY!" Jordana let out an ecstatic squeal and the toddler ran for him. "Daidy."

"Hey Jordy," Hank scooped her up and held her tightly, cuddling his precious little girl tightly. "Hey Rhys," he smiled at his son who was picking himself off the floor to toddle over to greet him. "Hey Lindy," he waved at his other daughter on Sadie's lap. "Sayd."

"Hank, I'm not finished with them yet," Sadie told him curtly as she continued her battle with the toddler on her lap.

"Oh there's no rush," Hank lowered Jordana to the floor so he could lift Rhys into his arms and cuddle his little boy. "You looking after ya Ma and ya sisters?"

"No," Rhys shook his head before burying his head in Hank's shoulder. "Da."

"The girls are ganging up on him a bit," Sadie muttered finally getting Linda's shoe on and setting the little girl on the floor.

"That right huh?" Hank looked down at his daughters who in that instant could not look more angelic and cherubic, their little chubby cheeks shining with happiness at the sight of him, their eyes glowing with love and adoration, just ecstatic to see him. "Well ya gonna be good this afternoon, we're gonna play with the Sully's."

"Why?" Sadie asked curiously.

"I didn't know what to do with them, figured the bar ain't the best place for them," Hank looked sheepishly at her. "I ain't as good as you at occupying them, sides Michaela offered and I need the back up."

"Well you are out of practice," Sadie whispered coldly. "Their bag is there."

"Great," Hank lowered Rhys to the floor so he could collect it. "I'll bring them back at 1 tomorrow if that is alright with you?"

"Sure," Sadie shrugged not able to make eye contact with him. "Come here my sweet chicks," she dropped to her knees and held her arms out to hug the children, all three flocking to her at the offer of the hug. "You be good for your Dada. Mama will see you tomorrow," she kissed the children in order. "Mama loves you lots. Have fun," she kissed them each again before finally looking up at Hank thought their eyes did not meet. "I guess they are all yours."

"Misser Lawson," Katie yelled excitedly as Hank pulled his wagon to a halt in front of the Sully's homestead.

"Hey Short Stop," Hank greeted the little girl. "You been waiting for me?"

"Um, acterly, I been waiting for the Tripples," she waved at the children in the back of the wagon. "I'll go get Papa."

Hank chuckled as the little girl ran into the house at full speed. Climbing down he quickly made his way to the back of the wagon to get his children. He shook his head as he took in Rhys, the little boy sat with his arms over his blond hair while his sisters sat innocently looking at their father. "eh, you two you bein mean ta ya brother?" Hank undid the back of the wagon and climbed up to free them from their binding.

"Alright Hank," Sully greeted him as he bounced down the steps. "Hey kids."

"Sully," Hank nodded and undid the girl's straps. "Would ya mind taking the girls?"

"Not at all," Sully reached the side of the wagon. "Hi girls, you ready to play?"

"Ya," Jordy exclaimed happily clapping her hands.

Sully expertly lifted the girls and set them on his hips to carry them in leaving Hank to undo Rhys' straps. As they loosened the little boy flew out of his chair and rammed himself against Hank's chest. "It's alright Rhys," Hank hugged his little boy tightly.

"No," Rhys shook his head. "Ow."

"They pull ya hair huh?" Hank slid out of the wagon with his son in his arms. "That wasn't very nice," he looked upwards towards the house as the sound level seemed to rocket as the excited Katie greeted the twins. "Sorry buddy, it's a girl fest today." He forced himself to smile as Esmee appeared in the doorway her arms folded in annoyance. "You alright curly mop?"

Esmee looked behind herself to see if Hank was talking to someone else before realising he was talking to her. "No, it loud."

"You don't like it loud huh?" Hank joined her on the porch.

"No," Esmee shook her head emphatically.

"Esmee?" Michaela waddled out in search of her daughter. "What are you doing Sweetheart?"

"Loud Mama," Esmee explained. "That da boy?"

"That is Rhys," Michaela bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. "Why don't you take him in to show him your farm?"

"No Mama," Esmee shook her head. "Dat in Iee room."

"Oh I see," Michaela tried to usher her daughter in. "Perhaps you could read with him. Would you like that?"

"Okies," Esmee shrugged, she looked round at Hank. "Put him down peas, Iee read wiv da boy Rhys."

"Sure," Hank lowered his little boy to the floor who instantly went shy and buried his face in Hank's legs. "Come on Rhys man up."

"He a boy not man," Esmee stared at Hank, curious as to why he would instruct the obviously boy shaped Rhys to be a man. "Boy Rhys," she stepped closer to the little boy. "Iee read wiv you," she held her hand out to Rhys who peeled his face away from his father's trousers before slamming his face back to hide once more. "Iee read," her eyebrows rose as she realised that the little boy creature in front of her was nervous. Slowly she crept forward and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Iee like you boy Rhys."

The little boy slowly peeled his face completely away from his father's legs and stared curiously at Esmee. Carefully he reached out and took Esmee's hand. He beamed, pleased that this little girl who he had met once or twice was different from his sisters. "Lo," he greeted Esmee.

Esmee giggled and pulled him towards the house. "We in now Mama."

Michaela smiled as the two little figures made their way to where the girl's books were kept.

"Thanks for this Michaela," Hank's voice made her look round. "I appreciate it."

"Oh it's no bother," Michaela absently rubbed her middle as the baby kicked. "Though I must confess to an ulterior motive as well," she moved slowly into the house. "Sully is making Violet's bed up, I was wondering if you might help him so that he does not hurt himself."

Hank shrugged. "Why not."

"Thank you," Michaela made her way to the chair and sank into it with a soft sigh. "He had just gone back upstairs."

"You..um," Hank indicated the children.

"I'll be fine," Michaela nodded as she adjusted her position, "and with two of you it shan't be that long."

"Ow Da…" Hank grabbed his hand and held his injured fingers his top teeth chewing on his bottom lip as he fought the pain that came with banging a hammer on his finger and not the wooden peg.

"Technical term," Sully grinned at the other man "You alright?"

"Yeah peachy," Hank shook his hand as if he was trying to shake the pain away.

Sully rocked back on his heels and stared at the other man while he kept the joint he was finished closed with his hand. "Ya don't have ta help ya know. I've made a bed several times."

"Think Michaela was worried ya might hurt yaself," Hank mumbled picking up the hammer and lightly tapping at the peg to seat it in the hole that Sully had drilled.

"I don't think that was it," Sully looked intently at Hank, forcing the other man to make eye contact.

"What?" Hank scoffed. "Ya gonna be my spirit guide or some other rubbish."

Sully shook his head. "No, but I got enough kids…"

"I don't need no advice from you," Hank shot at Sully. "Like you ever got an idea what it's like to have the person you love hate ya."

"Sadie don't hate ya," Sully returned to the joint. "She's just mad at ya, and I have dealt with angry vocal women."

"I don't want no advice," Hank told him curtly. "I can figure it out…"

"Fine," Sully shrugged and completed the join.

The men worked in silence, Sully completing the joins and moving to get the rope to make the base of the bed. The more skilled of the pair he worked quietly and methodically bringing together the components of his littlest daughter's bed. His focus on the piece of furniture he had made with love and care and pointedly ignoring Hank.

Finally the silence became too much and Hank broke it. "You think I did it because of who I was?"

"Maybe," Sully glanced over his shoulder, "but men change, look at me."

"You think I can get her back?" Hank sat with his knees bent, his arms resting on them.

"I think you will do everything ya can to get her back," Sully tightened the loop of rope. "Ya just gotta give it time, but ya need ta make sure ya see the kids as much as possible," he took a deep breath. "I ain't no expert, not like Michaela, but I reckon that's why the twins are taking it out on their brother, and why Rhys has gone all clingy."

"I did it to them," Hank dropped his head in shame. "I don't wanna mess them up, I already did that with Zack and I had no chance with Klara."

"They'll be fine." Sully finished with the rope and stood back to survey his work, "they love you, they love Sadie, both of ya love them."

"Just gotta work on the Sadie loving me," Hank smiled wryly. "Don't know how to. Never had to chase anyone before."

"You're a survivor Hank," Sully shrugged. "You'll figure something out."

Hank stretched, the afternoon at the Sully's had been surprisingly wonderful, after he had helped Sully with the bed they had joined the children and Michaela downstairs. He had been dragged into some bizarre game that he didn't understand but that Katie and the twins seemed ecstatic with and for the first time in probably his whole life he had just let his hair down and just been silly. Though he had probably done things he never would have, Michaela had assured him that what happened in the room would stay there and he had completely immersed himself in playing with the three little girls. And while the twins had had so much fun they had almost passed out with exhaustion Rhys had had a wonderful time too, the little boy had seemingly blossomed, the change brought out by little Violet deciding to sit next to him and cuddle him as Esmee 'read' to them, and then when Esmee had gotten bored with reading she had requested that Sully get her farmyard which was some kind of precious toy to her and she had let Rhys play with it. Hank had never seen his little boy smile so much, the simple acts of kindness from two little girls, who were not his sisters bringing out this really rather wonderful child.

Hank stared down at the babies, they had been so tired by their escapades that they had fallen asleep on the way home and had not woken even when he moved them in. The lay nestled together on his makeshift mattress which now looked almost like a nest, Linda and Jordy curled together their foreheads pressed gently against each other while Rhys lay in a little ball clutching the wooden figure that Esmee had let him have clearly something that would be his most prized possession. They were so beautiful, the most beautiful things in all creation and yet his actions had tarnished them, made the twins gang up on Rhys to act as almost bullies to him and turn Rhys into this shy clingy little boy. He had done what he always did, ruined what was good and wonderful in his life. He jumped as he surprised himself with a noisy sob. Rhys stirred, the noise waking the child slightly. Hank pressed his fingers into his eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing, to push them back into his tear ducts. But they wouldn't stop the noise getting louder and louder. Hank took a gulp of air and slid out of the room, not wanting to ruin his precious children's sleep as he had ruined their lives.

Sadie stared at the ceiling, for the first time in over a year she had the house to herself and she had peace, but the quiet was too much. She was used to her house being busy and chaotic and noisy, to having little coughs and snuffles even when it was night time, she was just used to her children being there near her, and now they weren't. The only other time she had been away from her children had been her operation and the night her world had fallen apart and both times she had been in so much pain that she had been unable to distinguish the pain of their absence from the other. Yet now she could feel it, this creaking pain, this need to just hold them, smell them do anything with them. She screwed her eyes shut and tried to force herself to go to sleep but there was no way it was going to work and all she was doing was working herself into a frenzy, the good work done in the warm waters of the hot springs undone. Taking a deep breath Sadie pushed the covers back and clambered out of the big bed that was so much bigger now she slept in it on her own. Grabbing her robe she pulled it on and padded out of the bedroom through to the living area. She fought her instinct, the call that was telling her to open the door and check on the babies, the thought of seeing an empty room too hard to bear. Sadie slowly made her way into the kitchen area, her mind whirring and the only thing other than her children she could think of that might calm it was some warm milk. She crossed to the pantry and the tiny cold store where she kept the milk. Something moved in the darkness beyond the window and she peered out into the matching gloom of inside. The night was clear and the moon was the type where it gave enough light to see things more than just a faint outline. Sadie frowned as she saw him, sat hunched on the back step of the saloon seemingly crying.

Curious and mildly concerned about what had occurred Sadie lowered the milk back into the cold store and moved to the door. She opened it slowly and crept out into the cold crisp night. "Hank."

He jumped, like a startled animal and wiped his face trying to brush away the tears. "What happened? Are the children alright?" she folded her arms as Hank nodded. "So why are you crying?"

Hank looked up at her, his face tearstained, the tears still on his face glinting in the moonlight. "Because I ruined everything," Hank stared up at her. "I acted like an idiot because I saw you."

"What?" Sadie stared at him incredulously. "What is that supposed to mean? You did what you did because of me?"

"No," Hank shook his head. "The girl whatever her name is," he swallowed and looked up at his wife, for the first time in a long while their eyes connecting, "she had this spark like you did."

"And I don't have it anymore. Well I hate to burst your bubble Hank, but we have three children," she scowled at him. "I don't have time to be sparky."

"I know, I know," Hank pushed his hair out of his face. "It's not an excuse. I just want you back, I want you to let me back."

"Even though I'm not sparky," Sadie hissed sarcastically at him.

"I..." Hank dropped his head into his hands as he struggled to find a valid response.

"I'm not the only one who's changed Hank," Sadie pointed out. "The great Hank Lawson, begging his wife to him take him back."

"But that's just it," Hank waved his hands. "You make me want to not be him, the bully and the thug. You make me better. Our children make me better and I ruin things that are good. I want you to show you that..."
"You're not who I fell in love with either," Sadie interrupted him, her tone softer. "You're not the man I married either, and you're not the man who came and sat at the end of my bed every day when I was pregnant. They changed all that," she kicked his leg with her foot indicating for him to move along the step so she could join him. "Our children don't make you better they make you worse, they make me worse," she looked sideways at him for a moment. "Before all this, it wasn't a marriage, we were just going through the motions. You're working all the time, I hate the fact that it's just me, and it's turned me into this bitter twisted crone."

"You ain't," Hank reached to touch her wrist but she pulled away from him. "Sayd please."

"I am still really angry at you," Sadie told him, her voice wavering, "but I want to be married to you, like we were before we had them."

"So what do we do?" Hank asked her desperately. "What can I do to make you let me come back?"

"I don't know," Sadie inhaled and exhaled deeply, her whole torso moving with the action. "But I want to feel pretty again, feel like I can get any man I want."

"You wanna be a whore?" Hank stared at her confused.

"No," Sadie shook her head. "I don't know what I want."

"I want to be a family," Hank told her softly. "I want to get woken up by them, help get them dressed and look after them while you do the other stuff and I want to be able to hold you."
"Then I guess that is what we do," Sadie spoke softly staring at the house through the gloom.

"What?" Hank whispered surprised.

"I'm not taking you back, it' won't just click back into place but I'm letting you come back," she shrugged. "You can sleep on the floor in the living room," she got up from the step, moving so quickly it was as if something had struck her. "I can't live with you and I can't live without you. I guess if I'm going to go insane then it's better if you are there. Team parent and all that," she swallowed. "Go get them."

"Who?" Hank stared up at his wife his heart soaring as her words sank through him, the joy growing of being allowed back in.

Sadie rolled her eyes. "The babies. If you want your family they are kind of big part."

"Right," Hank stood up. "So..."

"So nothing, like I said I'm not taking you back, not yet I don't know if I ever will. But until I figure out what I want, I'll do what you want." Sadie made eye contact again, her eyes welling up as she struggled not to cry. "I need to find why I love you again and unlike everything else in our relationship I am not rushing that."