AN: Thank you to isetthefair, teeyore, LorilieDorran, Lillythemarshmellowqueen, M1nk, Gotsta Have My Hardy, k8ex10, HorsecrazyJr., Zero's grl 4 eva, Twilighter5305, Jesusrocks, raleighlane, star fantasy 29, Pflow, polkadot123 and prettyflour for all of the reviews, alerts and favorites. Onto the next. The title should be a huge spoiler and this chapter is going to be short.
12. Goodbye:
Jacob sat in the terminal with me, holding my hand in his. His grip was tight as a vice. His cell phone sat on his leg, closed and turned off. It had been ringing nonstop about twenty minuets after we had left. We both knew who had been on the other end.
Once we had my flight booked and my ticket in hand, we had wandered slowly to the terminal to wait. My flight was leaving at six-fifteen which gave us little under two hours to wait. An hour of that wait had been spent in silence. While Jacob had sat in a stony silence, I had occupied myself by watching the humans around me. I had little experience in crowds, though I had been in an airport once before, when, last year, my parents had taken me to South America to visit the Amazons. Now, however, the silence was killing me.
"Jacob," I whispered, "Will you please say something?"
He didn't answer me, just continued to stare straight ahead with a dead look in his eyes.
"Jay," I tried again, "Please."
"What do you want me to say, Ness?" he said finally, his voice quiet and not at all like the one I loved.
"Anything," I replied, "Anything would be better than this silence."
"I don't want you to go," he said, "I can't stand the thought of you going to those old bastards by yourself. They could hurt you...They could kill you."
"It doesn't matter," I replied, "As long as you and my family are safe, I'd gladly sacrifice myself."
"Don't say that," he snapped, "Don't you dare say that!"
"It's true," I shrugged.
"And what makes you think that they won't come after us anyway," Jacob continued, "What if they want you but still kill us? How would you feel if you wasted some of your last hours with us to try and save us when we've already been condemned?"
Shock went through me as doubt clouded my mind. What if they did come after my family anyway? What if this was a mistake?
"That didn't occur to you, did it?" Jacob guessed.
"No," I replied, "No, it didn't. But still, I feel..."
"You feel," Jacob huffed, "What are you, Jasper?"
"Don't be mean," I hissed, "I'm trying to do what's best for you."
"And what about you?" Jacob shot back, "Is this what's best for you? God, you can be so much like Bella sometimes! You always think of everyone else before yourself."
"Is that wrong?" I asked, "Or is it better to be selfish and have everyone else around you get hurt because of it? No, that'd be fine as long as you got what you want."
"That's not what I meant," Jacob frowned.
"I'm doing this for the packs, too," I pressed, "I'm trying to save them, too."
"We can take care of ourselves," Jacob protested immediately.
"You might be able to, sure," I nodded, "But what about Emily and Madison? Or how about Sue? What would happen to Claire if Quil died trying to keep her safe?"
"Alright, you made your point," Jacob sighed, "I just...I don't want to lose you."
"Exactly," I nodded, "I don't want to lose you either. Any of you. You're all my family and you've already kept me safe once, now it's my turn to return the favor."
I leaned my head against his bicep and squeezed his hand.
"Your dad is going to be so pissed when I get back," Jacob mumbled, "Used to be, I'd be waiting for a chance at him but now...now I think I'd just let him kill me."
"Shut up," I sighed, "Don't say that. Just think about what I told you. Keep repeating it in your head over and over."
"I'm coming with you," Jacob said suddenly, standing up so abruptly that people stared.
I tugged on his hand until he sat back down and waited for the humans to lose interest in us.
"You can't," I said with finality, "You have to stay here. If you come with me, there'd be no point."
"I don't think I can be away from you," Jacob replied, his face turned up in a grimace.
"You have to try," I replied, "I'm not going to like it either."
He looked down at me and all of the sadness and pain in his eyes brought tears to mine.
"Don't," I breathed, "Don't look at me like that."
"How else do you expect me to look?" He murmured, "I'm never going to see you again."
"No," I whispered, "No, I'll find a way..."
"I don't think that the Volturi offer day passes to their prisoners, Ness," Jacob said.
Before I could stop myself, I threw my arms around him and crushed myself against him. He was right. We'd never see each other again. Tears fell freely as I thought of all the people that I never got a chance to say goodbye to properly. How could I have left them without saying goodbye?
Jacob enveloped me in his huge, burning arms and buried his face in my hair. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat, memorizing the sound of it because I'd never hear it again.
He pulled away and turned my face up toward his. I choked on a sob when I saw the tears that were blurring in his black eyes. He pressed his forehead to mine and just held me as we both cried.
"My last chance to say goodbye and I can't even do it properly," he whispered so low that even I could barely hear him.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I can't kiss you here," he said with sadness in his voice, "There are too many people and you look young and I don't. This was what I meant about the age thing."
"No one is watching us," I said, "I can tell."
And no one was. I heard every thought in the area and they were all too concerned in their own endeavors. No one noticed us at all. We were just two more people in the crowd.
"Go ahead," I sighed, "Please. No one is will see, I promise."
He didn't need telling twice. He closed the distance between our lips and crushed his to mine in a furious and desperate kiss. I returned it with equal intensity. After all, this was the last time I could feel his lips against mine and I was going to take advantage of it. Jacob pulled away from me and I frowned.
"Are we still in the clear?" He asked.
"What?" I blinked up at him, dazed.
He chuckled softly and did a quick scan of the terminal. Still, no one was watching us. Jacob smiled before weaving his hands in my hair and pulling me back for another kiss. New tears fell from my eyes as the finality of my decision hit me. This was it. Jacob pulled away and looked at me with the same knowledge in his eyes.
"I love you," he said with firm conviction, "I'll always love you."
"More than my own life," I nodded.
And it was then that I reach us and unclasped the necklace that my mother had given to me my first Christmas. I held it out to him and he gave me a startled look.
"Ness, I can't take that," Jacob said softly.
"I want you to have it," I replied, "To remind you every day how much I love you."
He took my outstretched hand and curled my fingers around the locket that was gathered in my palm.
"I don't need a reminder," he smiled softly, "Besides, I don't think your mom would be too happy if you gave that up."
"It's mine to give," I said, opening my hand again.
Jacob looked at the locket, then back at me and sighed, taking it from my hand gently, as if he were afraid to break it. I watched as he put it on and smiled when it turned out to be more of a choker on him than a necklace.
"I think you need a longer chain," I smiled.
He grunted and then sighed again, "I'm never taking this off."
That made me smile wider, "Good....But maybe you should, you know, when you phase."
He chuckled at my delayed second reaction but dipped his head in a nod, "Right, with that one exception, of course."
Just then, the mechanical voice announced that my plane was ready to board. An irrational surge of panic constricted my chest and I groped for Jacob's hand. He found mine and gave it a firm squeeze. I turned wide eyes to his face and saw the most heartbreaking look I have ever seen. It was a mixture of so many things, love, pain, defeat, acceptance and even a little bit of pride.
The people around use got to their feet, surging through the terminal gates to board the plane but I just sat in my seat, staring into Jacob's defeated eyes. Tears were pooling down my cheeks silently as I gazed at him. He leaned forward and pressed his warm lips to my forehead and ran his thumb over my wet cheekbones gently. I reached up and pressed my hand to his cheek and showed him all of my happiest memories of us together. A soft, sad smile graced his lips as his eyes fluttered open to stare at me again. I let my hand trail down his cheek to touch the place where my locket lay against the indentation between his collar bones.
"More than my own life," I murmured again.
He nodded and stood up, drawing me to my feet with him, "You have a plane to catch."
More tears streamed from my eyes to hear him say that with such a dead voice and those haunted eyes. My heart squeezed painfully as I threw my arms around him once more. He squeezed me harder than he ever had before but I took it. My last touch of him. I gazed up at him and threw caution to the wind. I stood on my toes and snaked my hand into the warm hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his face down toward mine.
I kissed him with reckless abandon, pressing my lips to his with a force that made him gasp. He responded eagerly, wrapping his arms more firmly around my waist and picking me up off the ground, bringing us closer together. I melted into him, losing myself to the feeling of his so warm lips moving with mine. Suddenly and without any kind of warning at all, his tongue ran lightly along my lower lip making me shudder and open my mouth to him instinctively. And then his tongue slipped between my parted lips to caress mine with a feeling that sent an almost painful, but still wonderfully electric current through my entire body bringing a soft moan from my throat.
And that seemed to be the switch. Jacob pulled away from me with a breathless chuckle, some measure of light brightening his eyes. I frowned up at him, having not been ready to end that kiss so quickly. He smiled again and smoothed my hair away from my face. The last call for boarding sounded around us and my heart squeezed in on itself again.
"I'll always be waiting for you," he whispered, "So if you ever can, try and come back to me."
"I will," I nodded, "Take care of yourself for me, okay?"
He nodded as I touched the locket at his throat again, "And take care of my parents, too."
"No problem," he agreed, "And you be careful, too."
"Of course," I replied, "I love you, my Jacob."
"I love you too, Renesmee," he smiled, pulling away from me reluctantly, "You better get going."
I nodded, more tears just leaking from my eyes. I let go of the hand I was still holding and fought to keep breathing when I wasn't physically connected to him anymore. I turned toward the empty terminal gate and trudged toward it, ignoring the stewardess who was openly gaping at me as I walked through the gate. As I walked down the long hallway toward the plane, I glanced over my shoulder at the tall, dark man standing alone in the terminal, watching me go with such a look of love that I started crying again.
I kept my eyes on him as much as I could before I rounded the corner, wishing that the hallway had windows so that I could keep my eyes on him for as long as possible. They say never to look back, but when you're not sure what lies ahead, what else is there but looking back?
AN: Told you it would be short. Sorry it took so long, my personal life is pretty much in the dump right now. It still is so I don't know how fast I can write this....sorry for any inconvenience there, but I'm trying not to abandon this....it just might take a while between updates so keep with me. Hope you guys enjoyed that light bit of almost smut at the end...I figured that they were allowed one good slightly unchaste kiss. They were leaving each other, after all.