Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or its characters.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all your reviews. I always look forward to your thoughts and reactions, and it's very rewarding to get feedback. I'm trying to get as much writing in before university starts again.

GaiazHeart: I really liked your suggestion about "my heart." I realized that in writing this chapter I didn't include anything about how she really felt, heart-wise. I didn't put it as an answer to her mother's question but I did include a line about her heart in the chapter. Thank you for your suggestion and help, it really got me thinking. And thank you to everyone else for your comments as well.

Chapter 13

Serenity's mouth fell open. "T-that?" she stuttered, her stomach dropping.

"I want to hear what you have to say about it, Serenity..." her mother said evenly.

Serenity's eyes filled with tears. "A letter from Endymion..." she croaked, lower lip trembling.

Her tears did not soften her mother's displeasure. She didn't even flinch. The Queen looked down at the letter on her desk as she spoke.

"I have no idea why you would do something like this Serenity..." her mother began. She raised her violet eyes to her daughter's. "Especially when you are engaged. This is disloyal and dishonest: in fact, it's downright sneaky, Serenity! Do you know you went behind my back and your fiancée's by doing this?" she yelled, looking at her incredulously.

Artemis cleared his throat uncomfortably and shuffled on his feet.

Luna's piercing gaze was still trained on Serenity.

Her mother put a hand to her head and sighed. "Don't follow the same path I did, Serenity...It only leads to disaster." Her voice was softer this time, more feeling.

Serenity knew her mother was talking about Serenity's father. Her mother and father's relationship had also been a forbidden romance but her mother had not been engaged at the time. Serenity's birth father was a secret; everyone thought Prince Sapphire had been her real father.

Her mother suddenly grabbed the letter and threw it into the fire.

Serenity gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "I didn't even get to read it!" she yelled.

Her mother glared at her. "And thank goodness you didn't. It would only make things worse."

Serenity cried into her hands.

After a moment her mother spoke again, and her voice was pained, as if Serenity had stabbed her. "Why did you encourage this Serenity?"

Serenity lifted her tear-streaked face from her hands. "Encourage this...?" she trailed off.

Her mother was seated at her desk, moving things around. "Yes, encourage it. At any moment you could have ignored him, called it off...Unless he forced you in some way...?" her mother trailed off, alarmed.

Serenity shook her head. "No, no he didn't force me..." she whispered.

"Well then?" her mother pressed. "Why did you let it happen?"

Serenity raised teary eyes to her mother. " I don't know. My heart has a mind of its own. I fell for him, mother." she whispered.

"Yes, well it's very easy to fall for young men. But you must forget this. Put it out of your mind. You have a duty to fill," she insisted. "You are forbidden from writing letters to him, Serenity. You know you can't continue this any longer- you are Diamond's betrothed, not Endymion's."

Serenity's anger and anguish grew inside until it burst free. "I can't marry Diamond! I won't!" she shouted. "He threatened me! His messenger sent me a horrible message!"

Her mother's eyes widened. "What?" she asked, shocked.

"His messenger Rubeus, was his name, said he had a message from Diamond. He said Diamond was spying on me and would hurt me if I did anything against him!" Serenity cried.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" her mother asked urgently.

Serenity pursed her lips and looked down. "I was afraid..." she admitted.

Her mother looked at her. "I don't know whether to believe you or not..." she admitted.

New tears stung her eyes. Now that hurt. "You have to believe me mother! I'm your daughter!"

"You snuck around with Endymion, Serenity! How can I trust you now?" her mother countered. She stared at Serenity as if she were a stranger. "I will speak to Diamond about this and see what he has to say for himself. Then I will decide whether I believe you or not.

"You can go to your room now, Serenity. Luna, please take Serenity up to her room."

"This isn't fair!" Serenity protested, her hands turning into fists at her sides. "You were no better with father- you had an affair with him!"

Her mother's mouth fell open and she paled, knowing that what Serenity said was true. "That will be enough Serenity..." her mother said, her voice wavering. "I am your mother. You have no right to talk to me that way."

"Come, Serenity." Luna coaxed quietly, putting a gentle hand on her back.

Serenity pulled away from her and scowled at her mother. "You're a hypocrite!" she screamed, before hurrying out of the office with Luna behind her.

The Queen stood there, shaking. After a moment she let out a strangled sob and sank down into the chair. She put her face in her hands and cried.

Artemis stepped forward. "Your Majesty"-

"Leave me be, Artemis..." she croaked, before covering her face with her hands once again.

Artemis quickly left the room, leaving the Queen alone in her office to face the truth.

Serenity had never been angrier in her life. Luna stood by the door as Serenity paced around the room. Her anger and passion were too much too handle. She couldn't sit or think. Anger was a dangerous drug.

Serenity began tearing the sheets off her bed.

"Serenity"- Luna began, shocked.

"Leave me alone, Luna! I don't want to deal with your nagging now!" Serenity snapped, testy.

Luna quickly left the room and shut the door behind her.

Serenity looked at the closed door and stood in the middle of her dim, elegant room. White vanity, white closet, sheer white curtains, yellow lilies, white satin sheets, powder blue walls, stucco ceiling, gold light fixtures. Why did everything have to be spotless and beautiful?

Why were dark and deceptive things hidden behind doors? Why were false puppet shows put on to please everyone else?

Her mother had hidden her own affair, her own pregnancy behind the doors of the Moon Palace, making the people believe that she was the pure and noble queen that everyone thought she was.

She would destroy that show, that illusion. She ripped the sheer curtains of her canopy bed apart, smashed the vase full of yellow lilies, crystal and yellow sunshine spilling everywhere over the floor. Threw a wooden hairbrush, engraved with pretty pink flowers, at the mirror. Serenity stopped and stared at its cracked reflection.

Good, she thought. That looks more like me. Cracked and broken. Imperfect. Flawed.

I am flawed like my mother. I am my mother's daughter. I've become her.

Overcome with her realization, she stumbled over to the bed and sat down on it, bracing herself on one of the posts of her bed. History was repeating itself.

Sadness returned but she was done crying. She rested there for a while, and her anger gradually turned into a deep sullenness.

It was only when she turned her head that she noticed the Earth, sitting there in the sky. She rose from her bed, her gaze trained on the glowing orb, and walked towards it, as if it were a magnet pulling her forward. It was bright and vibrant, blue and green, covered with swirling white trails. It looked like a colourful crystal ball.

Her gaze was glued to it; she was mesmerized by it. She had seen it before as a child but it now held a different attraction.

Serenity opened her double glass doors and walked out onto the balcony. The cool night air caused goose bumps on her skin and lifted the tie on her robe. She moved closer and rested her arms on the balcony, staring up at the Earth, gripping the railing until her knuckles turned white. Would she be able to let him go?

The Queen grounded Serenity for a week, restricting the princess to her room. Whenever she requested to go outside she was only allowed on palace grounds with a chaperone; in other words, one of the Scouts.

"I think the ruined room did it," Amy told her as she and Serenity walked along the garden path. It was the first time Serenity had spoken to one of the Scouts since she had been grounded that first day. "I mean, she was already mad about the letter...and then your room...The girls and I were shocked Serena!"

"Well, I was angry at her...and I still am!" Serenity retorted, defensive.

"I know you care about Endymion, Serena but your mother is only trying to do what's best for you. She's trying to protect you from ruin and shame."

Serenity stopped on the path and turned to face Amy. "Other people don't know what's best for me, Amy! Only I know! And I know marrying Diamond is not the right thing for me."

"If he really did threaten you, then you might not be marrying Diamond, Serena. But you do know what kind of political and economic cost this would have on Nemesis, right?"

Serenity sighed, exasperated. "Then just send representatives over there to help them!"

Amy shook her head sadly. "It's not that easy, Serenity. Marriage would ensure a stronger alliance and loyalty between the two planets."

Serenity sighed and looked away. "I wish I was never born a princess..." she said. Neither of them said anything for a while and the only sounds that filled their silence was that of bees buzzing and birds singing in the garden. It was a beautiful summer day: warm sun with a light breeze, set off by blue skies with a little bit of cloud, and green, green grass.

They walked along the path noiselessly and finally Amy spoke.

"I wish I could help, Serena..." she said, regretful. "I'd hate to see you married to someone that you fear."

Serenity stopped and grabbed Amy's hand. She squeezed it lightly. "If I do marry him, Amy, promise me you'll come and see me. You and the other girls. You are the only ones who understand me, and make me laugh."

Amy smiled. "I promise. We won't abandon you, Serenity."

Serenity smiled back and the two continued along the winding path. "I wish I had more to do while I waited for my mother to get back to me..." she sighed. Her mother had gone away to Nemesis to visit and talk directly to Diamond about the supposed threat. She had thought a visit would be appropriate. When she heard Diamond's side of the story, she would come to a decision and talk to Serenity again.

"I could show you some interesting new experiments I've been working on..." Amy suggested.

Serenity made a face. "No thanks, Amy."

Just as they neared the arched entryway, a sprightly gold puppy bounded out of the entryway, barking energetically and heading towards them. Serenity let out a sound of delight and knelt on the ground, holding out her arms to the puppy. The puppy stopped in front of her and jumped on its hind legs, pawing at her frantically.

Serenity laughed. "Oh it's sooo cute, Amy!"

Amy chuckled. "He is, isn't he?"

Serenity looked up at her. "So it's a he then...Where did he come from?" She gently stroked its head and the dog smiled up at her, his tongue hanging out.

"From here," Amy answered. "He's the kitchen dog that the servants' children usually play with. Sometimes they aren't very nice to it though. A few days ago they left it out in the rain for fun, can you believe that?"

Serenity gasped. "How could they do that!" She looked at the puppy and pulled him into her arms. "You poor thing!"

"It was Rei and I who found him. I took the puppy inside and made sure he was okay. And Rei...well, you know how she is"- Amy remarked with a wry smile. "She certainly gave them a lecture."

Serenity lifted herself off the ground. "Well from now on, I'm keeping you little guy...You'll be safe with me," He barked almost in answer to her words. Serenity made a face suddenly. "Hopefully Mom allows me to keep you."

"She might not," Amy said. "Your mother might think he's a diversion and that giving you him is a reward instead of a punishment."

"Maybe I can hide him..." Serenity mused aloud. She turned to her. "Or maybe you girls can..."

Amy smiled and shrugged. "I'd be happy to. In fact, I think that's better. We can protect him from the kids and your mother won't say no. You can come see him whenever we get together."

Serenity grinned. "Perfect!" The puppy jumped out of her arms and landed nimbly on his little feet. Then he turned around and looked up at the girls. "Does he have a name?"

"Jumper. That's what the children call him." Amy giggled.

Serenity laughed. "That's perfect. Jumper. It suits him."

So Serenity had found an entertaining diversion while she was in confinement. But when her mother returned to the Moon with news, Serenity found herself once again locked away in her room, angry and detached from the world. She caged herself away again, locking herself in and everyone else out.

Her mother's words replayed in her head as she stormed down the corridor:

"I've spoken to Diamond... face-to-face and he told me that his message was twisted by Rubeus. He said Rubeus lied and is a very sick, perverse man. Diamond assured me that Rubeus will be justly punished, Serenity. He apologizes and sends his love."

"Why did he send Rubeus then? What for? What was his original message to me, mother?"

"He didn't say now that I think about it...But that's besides the point now, Serenity. Clearly there was a misunderstanding (as I thought there was) and Diamond clearly cares for you. So the wedding will go as planned. You will marry Diamond."

"But mother- he's lying! I don't trust him- I don't even love him! Please mother!"

"Stop acting like a child, Serenity! Enough of this. You will learn to love him. You have a duty just as I did, and you will fulfill it, for our people and his people."

At that moment Serenity fell to the ground, sobbing and muttering "It isn't fair, it isn't fair."

Her mother had waved it off as a crying fit, used to her immature outbursts.

"And I'll need those letters from Endymion, Serenity."

This made Serenity stop and look up. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I want them all. It's not good to keep them and have them lying around, especially with Diamond around. Give them to me."

"NOO! You can't- I won't let you!"

Her mother addressed Artemis and Luna. "Search her room."

"No-no!" Serenity protested.

"Artemis- go. Don't just stand there. Hurry Luna."

Artemis was hesitant and Luna was moving slowly, a shocked expression on her face.

Serenity shook herself when the reverie ended. She remembered the look on Luna's face. Serenity had realized afterward that Luna had felt guilty. She held some compassion for Serenity's situation after all.

When they had searched her room they had found the letters in her drawer, a stack of them bound by a red ribbon. Her mother had thrown them in the fire in front of her, so she knew that they were destroyed. A lump formed in her throat at the memory of it. All of Endymion's letters burned. Her letters.

She gritted her teeth and fury filled her blue eyes. Today she would choose anger over sadness. How could she! What a witch. Stupid, heartless woman, she thought.

Serenity stopped in front of her mother's room and slowly neared the doors. She was no longer confined to her room and so today she chose to come out of her room. She lifted a hand hesitantly and knocked, listening carefully for any sign of her mother inside. No answer. No sound. Serenity turned the knob and was surprised to find it unlocked. Her mother had forgotton to lock it. She quickly slipped inside, glancing over her shoulder for guards. There were usually guards patrolling this floor but there were none in sight.

She shut the door quietly behind her and then faced the large room. She did a quick survey of her mother's room: clean and regal with a queen size mattress, gold curved headboard with intricate detailing, large balcony doors at the side, beige closets with gold trim, dark wood desk to the side, and then a private room, off to the side.

Serenity headed for the dresser by the bed. On top of the dresser sat a dark wood jewellery box. Serenity opened the lid to find her mother's extensive jewellery collection: pearl bracelets, diamond earrings, gemstone necklaces, jewel rings. She reached inside and pocketed a few pearl bracelets and pairs of earrings inside her riding coat, a long jacket with pockets and a high collar.

She felt a surge of satisfaction when she pocketed her mother's jewellery. She felt powerful and justified. But she also felt a twinge of guilt. She nonchalantly brushed it off. She was just about to leave when she turned back to the jewellery box. She couldn't explain why but she felt it pull at her once again. She opened it up and glanced inside.

From the corner of the box she spotted what looked like a sheet of paper. Intrigued, she moved the base of the jewellery box and lifted it out to reveal a stack of papers. Serenity frowned and tilted her head, curious. The letters were yellowed and flattened. Carefully, she pulled out the stack of letters and freed one from the confines of the string.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Serenity opened the letter and began to read:

Dear Serenity,

We have finally stopped and made camp, and I am finally able to take the opportunity to write to you, my love. We are close to the Nemesian capital, just outside the city walls. War is a terrible and unfortunate thing but I love traveling when I go to war. The forest is alive at night, Serenity. The trees, the smell of them, of firewood burning, it's all intoxicating. And the moon Serenity, it is so beautiful. And the stars, can you see the stars where you are?

Serenity's hands started to shake as the identity of the letter writer became clear. She continued reading:

When we set up camp, it is one of the only times when we men can laugh and talk. I feel a sense of brotherhood. I love the night, it makes me think of you.

I think it's because we always met in the night. I especially remember that night. Do not be afraid, Serenity. Our child was conceived out of love and it will be loved. I don't regret a minute of our time together. I know this will all work out- we just have to figure something out, that's all.

I'll fight this war and then come back to you. It won't be long. I love you Serenity and think about you everyday. Waiting eagerly for your letter.

Love,

A

Serenity sat there, shaken by the significance of her discovery. This was her father's letter to her mother. She was sure of it.

So that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed, and I hope all of you are having a good, sunny summer. What do you think of a romance between Mina and Malachite in this story? Not to distract from our main couple though... :)