PLEASE READ MY STORY NIGHT SUN I WILL NOT BE UPDATING UNTIL I HAVE TEN REVIEWS JUST WARNING YOU.

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I'm floating in a sea of white.....clouds, the bright blue of the sky hits my face and instinctively I fling my hand over my face.

But it does not burn. And I look down at my hands, I am not sparkling.

I hear a chuckle from above my bowed head. When I settle my gaze on the face I am mute in shock.

My mother is standing in front of me with a radiant smile on her lips and an aura of sunlight gracing the out line of her small form.

In my silence she opens her mouth and speaks in a voice as clear and pure as the innocence in a new born baby's eyes.

"Bells."

At the first time I had heard her voice in almost 100 years, I threw myself up and into her arms.

I tinkle of bells accompanies her laugh and tears, the first tears I have cried in a century roll down my face.

For a few seconds she just holds on to me and then she pulls me away slowly so she can look me in the eyes.

"Bella, do you know why you are here?"

I bite my lip, "Am I dead?"

My mom smiles and strokes my face, "No, not yet."

I start in shock and fall back a few steps in shock.

"What do you mean not yet?"

"Come Bella let's sit down." She waves her arm around in indicate a bench that I could've sworn had not been there a minute ago.

I followed her over and sat down gingerly, when I found that it was indeed solid I slumped against the back of the bench, "So....?"

My mom seemed to collect herself, "When vampires like you purge like that a frenzy begins about three days later. Instincts kick in that force you to lose control and feed, the result it terrible and grisly. You held it off for longer then that threefold. Even with your seemingly endless self restraint you couldn't hold it off for ever."

She stopped suddenly and shook her head sadly. "When your control broke something ancient tripped inside of you. From the minute you snapped and till you passed out there was no love inside of you. Every good emotion that keeps even evolved vampires like you seemingly human disappeared. You were, for the first time since your death, truly evil. You really were the nightmare version of immortals that humans write about and warn the children about."

I swallowed and a coldness that seemed to sink through me to my bones make termers wrack my body. "I killed someone didn't I. Someone innocent."

She looked solemnly back into my eyes, "Yes."

I curled in on myself. I had sworn that from the day Justin and our coven had been burned into ashes I would never kill anyone that didn't have to coming and even I hesitated to give myself that.

But regardless of my promise I had taken countless innocent lives and who knows what else I did.

I tipped my head up from my lap and glanced at my mother, "What else?" I said in a slow monotone.

A look of ancient pain crossed her face and regret slashed the corners of her mouth grimly down.

"Mother." I growled.

She gripped her hands in her lap, "You almost killed Tanya, tortured Jasper, tried to kill Edward."

"Edward!" His name burst from my lips in a shrill cry.

I grabbed my mothers arm. "Is Edward okay?"

She looked at my fiercely, "For the moment."

"What do you mean?" I choked out.

She shook her head, "Think Bella, what's the one thing that can kill vampires?"

My face went still and my undead heart almost started beating, "No… it can't be."

I was in a rage. That bastard how could be have let that murderer get away. He never loved me. He lied.

"You idiot! You stupid idiot! What the hell were you doing? Trying to be Tanya's hero?" I screamed.

He put his hands up to fend me off. "No Bella! You were acting like a monster! You would have regretted killing her later after you calmed down!"

"Fool! I am a monster! I have been ever since you abandoned me, when I need you most! You hypocrite! You think you now me or what I will do. You know nothing!" I pulled her knife out once more, "Because you were never there to find out.

"I'm a monster. It's in my blood. I would have rejoiced in ripping Tanya to shreds. Watching her bleed on the pavement, watching her eyes go blank." I laughed, "It's who I am Edward. And it's all your fault."

A ting of red was taking over my vision and I lunged for him with the knife. In a millisecond his family was on me.

But as I fought them off I failed to notice the line of red that grace his throat like a necklace.

"NO!" I screamed and jumped up. "He can't die."

"I agree." My mother said calmly.

I pulled my fingers through my hair and paced anxiously. "Yes but how can I get back when I don't even know where I am?"

My mother stood up and hugged me fiercely, "You have to want to."

The she turned and in the blink of an eye it was like she was never there.

"No!" I looked around in a frenzy. "No don't leave me!"

"Ahh." I sat down on the ground and huddled into a ball.

All I wanted was to get back. Another chance. Not for me but for Edward my heart my soul. He was my humanity and with out him and eternal existence would be an immortal death sentence. Agony that would never end.

I needed Edward and I saw that now if I got another shot I would never leave him again.

All off a sudden I had the sensation of falling and I could feel a soft cushioning underneath me.

My eyes snapped open. A dingy apartment building livingroom graced my vision.

I jolt up off the couch and on to my feet. But as soon as I was on my feet I collapsed against the coffee table and with a loud crash a lap shattered on the floor.

I the dark haze started to cover my vision but when I felt the presence of other vampires I shook it off.

Alice and Emmett were lifting me off the floor.

When I was unable to stand and the gently sat me on the couch again.

"Bella we're so glad your back to normal." Alice said but there was no really happiness in her voice that was coming towards me.

"Were is Edward." I stated bluntly and felt a sweat break out on my forehead with the effort it took to stay up right.

They looked at each other. Alice had tears in her eyes.

I jumped up and swayed, "Take me to him!"

Alice started to lead the way but when I failed to be able to take a step. Emmett scooped me up and carried me down the hallway to my love.

I am tense the whole time I am carted to the back of the house, and then Alice stops in front of a door at the end of the hall on the right. I can see a light shining from under the door and I have to close my eyes for a moment when I smell the faint scent of blood on the air.

"Are you all right."

I heard Emmett's gravely voice ask me from above my head.

Taking a deep breath I nodded and when I raised my head from his shoulder Alice slowly let the door creaked open and we stepped into the room.

The sight that greeted me when I was able to gaze around the quant soft room, was unbearable.

Carlisle was holding Esme to him as she dry sobbed and Rose stood up against the wall staring blankly out the window.

When she saw that I was inside the room. Her lips curled back over her lips and Alice jumped in front of her just before she flung her self at me and Emmett.

Alice grabbed Rose's arms when she tried to shove her out of the way to get to me. The hate radiating through her eyes was unbearable.

"Calm yourself Rose." Alice said softly.

Her eyes seemed to blaze, "Not until you dump that little bitch out on her butt in the street. I can't even look at her. She loved Edward." Rosalie sneered, "She can't love, a monster like that is incapable of a feeling like that."

She ripped herself out of Alice's grasp and stalked across the room to the window again. "And to think Edward almost had me convinced you were like all the rest of all thoughs high breeds. But you are as self less and soulless as Tanya."

I let out a growl just as Jasper stepped out of the shadows by a dresser across from the door. "Rose." He said sharply. "Stop this or you'll have to leave, think about Edward."

Rose glared at Jasper but my attention was off them others in the room.

I had finally found my love in all the chaos.

Laying on top of a light blue bed spread was Edward.

He had a gray ting to his normally pale white complexion. And although vampires are natural still the motionlessness of his body had an ominous feeling about it. This wasn't natural this was the end.

I wiggled out of Emmett's arms and slowly, unsteadily made my way to the bed side.

I collapsed to my knees when my hands touched the soft bed coverings.

With a shaking hand I reached out and touched his face the lack of temperature was so startling I jerked my hand away and gasped.

The quietness of the room made my intake of breath echo threw the walls. With out my notice everyone had stop talking and had fallen silent. Their eyes were fixed on me as the waited to see what I would do.

I mentally steeled my self and turning my head back to Edward I once again reached out. This time, glancing his neck with my finger tips.

I started again when he hissed and his head rolled back to bear his flesh to my eyes.

And for the first time, when I caught sight of blood I felt no cravings, no endorphins racing threw my body. All I felt was a despair and agonizing pain that drilled right threw my gut and right into my dead heart.

I felt tears start to run down my face in waves. I grabbed the blanket in one fist and reached for Edwards limp hand.

I held on to him as I lowered my head to his chest and sobbed.

I couldn't believe this was all my fault. Rose was right how could I do this to someone I loved. All I ever was going to be was a monster.

Threw my tears I could hear his family murmuring nervously.

But I pretended not to hear them I just tried to close my eyes a pretend none of this was real.