Pranks 13

"I hate Jedi!" Palpatine shouted for the world to hear, his voice echoing from the walls of his dark and gloomy palace. But the Supreme Chancellor was alone and no one heard his cries of hatred and despair. Oh, how he despised those do-gooders Jedi and all their brats! Just the other day he had gone to visit their high and lofty Temple and he had become the laughing stock of not only Coruscant but also the entire civilized galaxy! "I hate them, hate them! They should be exterminated like the pests they are!"

After he had fallen down the stairs, the Jedi brats had floated him down the hallway into their stench-filled lunchroom. There they had unceremoniously dumped him into a trashcan near the door. He had flailed his arms around, crying out for assistance but no one seemed to notice his plight. Everyone in the room seemed to be talking about a waxed floor and Master Mace, which Palpatine didn't understand at all. Had Mace been waxing the floor or did the students mean he used wax on his baldhead? Then a food fight broke out and Palpatine was forced to rescue himself. Since he was trapped in the trashcan in a sitting position, he figured if he rocked it up and back he could tip it over so he landed on his feet. So he started rocking the can and it tipped. Almost instantly his feet slid out from underneath him…

"TACKS! Those Jedi imbeciles had left TACKS on the stairs! That's why I couldn't walk! That's why I ended up on the news with a trashcan stuck on my butt!" Palpatine slammed his cane on the floor over and over with anger. "I should have fried all those brats with my Force Lightning, give them something to really talk about!"

Palpatine picked up the latest copy of The Coruscant Enquirer, just one of the hardcopy news magazines that had him on the front cover. The headline on this particular one read "Palpatine Takes Out the Trash!" while below it there was the embarrassing photo of him in front of the Jedi Temple trying to crawl to his airspeeder, the large trashcan stuck to his rear. Worse, other publications picked up the story instantly. Others included Weird WeeklyUFO Reports, Politics Today, The Hot Sheets, The Central Sun and others. "How dare they make a fool of me? When my plans are complete I'll destroy all the news originations for this! I'll make free speech outlawed!"

He had dreamed of killing the individual news reporters and the photographer than had snapped the troublesome photo, but it would be too obvious. He couldn't allow anyone to suspect he was actually a Master Sith yet. The time wasn't right. But he had to find out what was going on in that meddlesome Jedi Temple! Too many reports of Sith Activity was reaching his ears. Master Mace had almost driven him deaf the other day yakking on about Sith messing with a personal computer and rigging a cushion. What nonsense!

But now it was personal. Someone had messed with a Master Sith and made him look the fool. That person wouldn't live for long once his identity was discovered.

"I will get my revenge on those Jedi!" Palpatine laughed as he threw Force Lightning at the tall stack of tabloids and news magazines. With a red flash and loud whoosh the magazines burst into flame. The fire crackled and hissed, yellow sparks dancing in the air. Palpatine's heart glowed darkly, wishing it were the reporters that were frying before him or better yet, the Jedi. But if the Sith Lord was one thing, it was patient. Yes, he would patiently wait until all was in place and then he would declare himself Emperor!

So Palpatine sat in his black swivel throne and thought of hideous revenges he could perform on the Jedi. Obviously it had to be something small. That meant no huge explosions, no assassins, none of his usual flair. No, this needed subtlety. Since the Jedi had embarrassed him, he would embarrass them! An idea as dark as his evil heart popped into his head and Palpatine cackled. It would be wonderful!

Reaching for him com, Palpatine placed a call to one of his secret contacts, an expert in supplying the Sith with whatever their murky hearts desired. In a few short sentences he explained what he needed and the man promised it would be simple compared to Palpatine's requests in the past. Credits were transferred and that night under cover of darkness the deed was done.

The next morning, Anakin Skywalker woke up and stretched sleepily. He had gotten in serious trouble with Obi-Wan for the tack prank and Anakin wasn't anxious to leave his bedroom at all. If he could, he would lurk in his bedroom all day and avoid his Master but that wasn't an option. He had to attend classes. Then something crawled across his cheek and Anakin brushed it with his hand. The thing fell onto his pale blue bed sheet and he yelped in shock.

It was a bug!

The insect was a rich black with a shiny carapace, had six long legs and even longer feelers on its head. It started to crawl up the sheet towards him and Anakin quickly tossed the sheet over on top of it. Once it was trapped, Anakin pounded his fist on the sheet in an attempt to kill the nasty bug. Being raised on Tatooine, Anakin wasn't scared of bugs like some of the young students were. The desert actually supported lots of insect life. But since living in the clean Temple environment he had gotten used to not seeing them. And this particular type of bug wasn't good to have around, as it would breed like crazy. But where did it come from?

Slowly peeling back the sheet to see if it was dead, Anakin discovered the insect was gone! "Drat! Obi-Wan is going to kill me if he spots that bug in our apartment! He'll blame it on me, especially since he's in a fowl mood about yesterday!"

Hopping out of bed, Anakin was shocked when his feet crunched loudly upon striking the floor. He glanced down and screamed. The floor was just CRAWLING with nasty black bugs!

"AAHHHHHHH!" Anakin shrieked as he ran out of his room, only to discover they were in the hallway of their apartment, too! And was that shrieking out in the central hallway? Dashing to the door, Anakin opened it only to see mass chaos. Young Padawans ran shrieking down the bug-infested hallway, their eyes wide in fright. Adult Jedi either chased after their young charges or were busy trying to kill the mass and sudden infestation. The creatures were literally EVERYWHERE: the floor, the ceiling, and the walls… Hearing crunching footsteps behind him, Anakin turned to see a glaring Obi-Wan. "It wasn't me! Honest!"

Obi-Wan folded his arms over his chest and stared Anakin in the eyes, reaching out with the Force to determine if the boy was being truthful. "It had better not be!"

It was good to be a Sith!