Disclaimer: The Twilight saga, and its respective characters, belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Edward POV
I watched as Bella retreated silently to the room furthest from me, the door closing nearly silently. I really hoped she wasn't leaving for my sake. I wanted her near me for some unfathomable reason.
"I know I can't convince you to come home, but I really wish you would. I would really love for the family to stay together." Esme's voice was like a drug to me at the moment. How I had missed my mother figure.
"You know I can't do that, but you know that I wish I could."
"I know." I could hear the sad smile in her voice.
"Are you hunting? You cannot starve yourself during your travels."
"Yes," I had the decency to laugh slightly at this. "I have already hunted and will do so again tonight."
"That is good, I am happy to hear it. How are you doing, son?"
I knew her question was about more than just these past couple of days. She meant in general; as a whole over the past two years. I hadn't spoken to my family much since I left for Italy but it was, again, a way to protect them. It was atrocious not letting them know the exact reason I had left, but I needed them to think I had wanted to join. Carlisle would have flown to Italy right then and there if he even had an inkling of what Aro had in mind.
He would have easily given himself up – rejoin the Volturi – if it meant keeping his family out of harm. And now I was doing the same.
"Please don't worry about me, mom."
"That's a nearly impossible request," she countered and I sighed, hanging my head.
"I'm doing all right, aside from the obvious." And Bella had a lot to do with my calmed emotions.
"Don't run yourself into hopelessness, Edward. We are always here for you. As soon as you ask for the help, we will be there."
I smiled despite myself.
"Thank you, mom, I love you so much."
"I love you too, Edward. Tell Bella that I said hello. Rosalie would like to speak with you."
I was slightly surprised by this – not because Rosalie and I were uncivil towards one another, but we often went about our lives as though the other simply did not exist in the house. It was a mutual emotion. We were too much alike. We butted heads too often and it was easier to remain amicable through polite greetings and nothing more.
"Hello, Edward. I only wanted to wish you well and to let you know that if you need anything, I am here for you. The whole family is here for you. We miss you and we only want you home safely."
"Thank you, Rosalie. I miss you as well." It was true. Rosalie was great company for certain, limited – very limited – conversations.
"Alice tells me you are stealing another car. Try to get one with a V6 engine. It's what I use for the BMW and the Ferrari – it'll give you the best speed and endurance."
"Thank you," I repeated, slightly choked up with her desire to help. "I will keep that in mind."
"Here's the pixie."
I chuckled at our endearing – well, sometimes endearing – term for Alice.
"Edward, the Volturi are giving me next to nothing. Alec, Jane, and Felix haven't made any more decisions, and neither has Aro." Her tone was decidedly petulant.
"Keep an eye out. If they had anywhere towards where you are – leave."
"Yes, Edward, we know. Don't worry about us, please."
"Okay, let me talk to Carlisle," I pleaded, not wanting to dwell on the idea of the Volturi traveling closer to the family.
Alice was silent over the line and after a horrifying moment, I knew why.
"Alice!" I was practically choking on my fear. "I told you not to let them come here!"
"I tried to stop them, Edward, but you know how Jazz and Em are. They were ecstatic at the thought of confronting the three Volturi. Carlisle wanted to follow your request, but he didn't want to leave Jasper and Emmett to fend for themselves, either."
I stood up quickly, speaking softly so that Bella would not hear from the bedroom. She had already seen – and healed – one anxiety attack today, I didn't need to put her through another of mine.
"You don't know what Alec and Jane are capable of, Alice. If Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper try to fight them, they won't make it home; let's say that." My words were a deadly, harsh whisper and I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath.
"Okay, okay. Their flight doesn't leave for another two hours. I'll get a hold of them and tell them to come back."
I heard Rosalie insisting that she call at that very moment, her terror for harm coming to Emmett ringing through just as clearly as Alice's terror of harm coming to Jasper. They all loved their mates dearly; they were their absolute lifelines. They would not forfeit their lives to save mine, which was exactly what I had hoped for.
"I'm going now. Call if anything changes," I practically growled down the line, the thought of the three of them getting on the plane regardless of Alice's begging making me lose control of my calmed state. I shut the phone quickly, shaking my hands desperately as my eyes zeroed in on the door that Bella was behind.
I needed to see her, to hear her talk, to hear her laugh…. Something, anything that would take my mind off of the growing panic.
Hunting. She wanted to go hunting.
I knocked quickly, hurriedly, barely even waiting for her invitation of my presence as I swung the door open, my eyes seeking her out. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, curled forward, a small pamphlet spread across her lap. Her scarlet eyes widened as she took in my expression and she reached out towards me with her hand, beckoning me to sit with her.
I did so happily, contentedly, thankfully; my muscles already relaxing as I inhaled her freesia scent. I took her hand in mine again – such a simple movement, and yet one so intimate, so familiar already as her skin burned mine where she touched, sending jolts of pleasure throughout my body. What was this? Why did I absolutely crave her touch so much suddenly? Why, when I stared back into her endless ruby eyes, did I feel as though I knew my exact place in the world?
The senses attacking me were too much – fear, panic, anxiety, apprehension. And yet when I was with Bella, when I simply sat beside her, I felt them all melt to puddles beneath my feet. They weren't buried, but completely gone. I had the sudden urge to pull her to me, to hold her, to run my fingers through her hair, to touch her soft, delicate face, to run a finger over her full lips… Anything to quell the burning desire within me to simply be close to her.
Her hand tightened in mine momentarily as her large eyes searched my face closely, searching for…what?
"Are you all right?" she asked. I only nodded my answer. If I was staring into her eyes, for some reason, I was always all right.
"Hunting?" I proposed, not wanting to talk about the phone call. Not wanting to talk about the unexpected, expected disappearance of my brothers and father. I only wanted to be with her, in the woods, by ourselves.
She smiled softly after a moment, her beautiful face lighting up as she nodded eagerly.
Okay.
"I was thinking…" she said as I led her out of the bedroom, holding onto her hand as though it were a life preserver and I was drowning in the middle of the ocean, "…that maybe we shouldn't jump? Won't there be cameras around the hotel?"
I shook my head with a smile. "We'll be quick. They won't catch anything. We can jump together." I was only being selfish. I wasn't suggesting we jump together to appease her fear that someone might see us on video; I only didn't want to let go of her hand just yet.
She seemed okay with this, even if she wasn't aware as she looked up at me, her ruby eyes glimmering.
"Okay," she smiled and let me lead her to the windowsill. She was so trusting. She shouldn't trust me – I was going to get us both killed.
We free-fell onto the soft ground below, our feet making no sound to the humans above. No one had noticed; no one had heard.
She didn't need to feed, I realized as I glanced over at her. Her eyes were a deep red, her pale, creamy skin still held the slight flush of a recent feeding, but I realized with a glimmer of humor that she probably wanted to hunt to change her eye color faster. That was fine; I was willing to give her anything if she kept making me feel like this.
We had to run further into the forest this time as there weren't as many trees surrounding the area. The highway seemed to stretch for ages, too loud for mammals to venture very close. But the further we ran, the more sounds of the wild sprang to life. We ended up by a mountainside before Bella stopped running, halting me with her. I stayed close beside her, reveling in the constant electricity buzzing between my body and hers. As long as I could feel it, she was there; and as long as she was there, the panic was subdued.
"It sounds like a waterfall," she remarked, her eyebrows raising delicately. I listened intently. She was right.
"Come," I directed, tugging on her arm and pulling her towards the running water.
"It's beautiful." She gaped at the waterfall beneath the moon's light, her eyes trailing over the pouring water, almost luminescent at the moment. I reached forward, gazing intently at the large boulders surrounding the falls. They had markings on them; pictures and words carved into the rock. I assumed this was a place the local children often visited. But I could also hear, which was slightly disconcerting, the mercurial sounds of a jaguar a few yards away. Bella dropped my hand to investigate the water and I stepped away from her briefly.
She turned to glance at me, wondering where I was off to and I motioned up towards the forested highland. She listened intently and then smiled with a nod, turning back to the water. She was telling me to go ahead. I stared for a single second, again hoping she would still be here when I returned, but knowing that she would and I hurried off in the direction of the quiet rumbling.
The jaguar had spotted us by the waterfall and whether it was looking for an easy meal or simply a drink of water, it had found its match. I stared at the magnificent creature from a few yards away. It hadn't seen me just yet. Its eyes were still on the waterfall. I crouched, readying my limbs and muscles as my mouth readied with a flow of venom. In Italy, I had stuck mainly to bears and small foxes. It had been a good while since I was able to devour a feline. It had been even longer since I was able to capture a mountain lion.
But that fantasy would have to wait.
I pounced, not making a single sound as I leapt towards the great animal, tackling him to the ground quickly. He barely had time to put up a fight before I snapped his neck, my teeth gouging into the side of his jugular at almost the same moment. The liquid spilled into me hot and fast; tempting, delicious and I could feel something else building up within me. Something equally as tempting and delicious. It was an emotion I had often heard in my siblings' thoughts and even, unfortunately, my parents. They would hunt with their partner and the aftermath would be fervent, passionate, obsessive almost. The feelings built to a peak within me and I growled, the feeling rumbling deep through my chest and settling deeper still into a more-or-less forgotten anatomy of my body.
I took off, my only desire to find Bella, but she was not at the waterfall. I stood, leaning against the large boulder and raking in the calming night air. I needed to stop. I needed to relax and not find Bella and jump her the moment I saw her. All of these senses confused me greatly and I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the trickling water wash out the earlier feelings of desire and need that had soared so deeply, so passionately within me. I wasn't sure what this was, but I didn't think it was strictly the aftermath of living within the walls of Volterra for two years. No. This was strictly the aftermath of being around Bella for a few days.
I waited, patiently…impatiently, for Bella to return and was happy when she showed up – her eyes wild, her clothing slightly tattered and bloodied – that I had worked so hard to control the burning desire within me. It was quelled now, but the fiery look to her features was enough to bring it back. I swallowed roughly, skimming my hand through the water. It was cold to a human, but barely uncomfortable to a vampire.
"How many this time?" I asked with a smile.
"It was a little fox and then some sort of puma." She was practically beaming with her happiness, recounting her hunt. "The carnivores are more fun."
I chuckled. She was right. They were.
I held my hand out to her and she looked at it with a small smile before curling her fingers around and through mine. We walked back slowly, not even bothering to run. She glanced up at me every once in a while from beneath her lashes and the silence of her mind was weighing on me. She was studying the ground, now, as we walked and I turned to gaze at her.
"What are you thinking?" I asked after an unbelievably long and painful minute of trying not to break through her shield. I don't think she liked when I did.
"Oh…" she trailed off, glancing up towards the trees. "Just that animal blood is a lot more delightful than I thought it would be." I knew that wasn't all she had been thinking. She would not have been thinking about the taste of animal blood for the past twenty minutes as we walked through the dark woods, but I couldn't press her for more, no matter how dreadfully I wished to.
Maddening.
She fingered her long locks distractedly, glancing around. Blood had engorged itself through her hair and there were more splatters of it on her bare skin than the last time we had hunted. Carnivores were more fun, but definitely messier.
"I don't think I've ever been to South America," she pondered, looking up at me. How would she know? She could barely remember her human life. My eyes trailed to the bite marks marring the beautiful skin of her arms, wondering whether the amount of venom that had obviously flowed through her body had anything to do with that.
"And why do you think that?"
"I was looking over a pamphlet of places to visit in South America that I had found in one of the drawers in the bedroom, and nothing seemed familiar at all."
"I thought you couldn't remember any places you had been?" I asked, staring down at her, curiosity warping my tone.
"I don't, really…" she trailed off, her lips pursing. "I remember one thing… It's very strange and specific, yet…not."
I waited patiently for her to continue. I was eager to learn anything about her that I could.
"It's only this obscure image of a cactus alongside a road with a wooden sign beneath it that has an arrow pointing up towards the sky." She glanced up towards the stars as though the image alone could give her the answers she was searching for. "It doesn't make sense, but I think it's the only clue to where I had lived as a human."
My mind ran through all of the possible places that held cacti-like growth. Assuming she was from the North American continent, I flipped through the deserts I had seen and some I had only read about, everywhere from Washington, to Wyoming, to Oregon, to Nevada, to California, all the way to Texas… The list was endless and she was right, unfortunately. Her muddied image gave us almost nothing to go on.
"That and your last name," I pointed out, not wanting her to become too upset with the notion of never finding her birth place.
"Right," she scoffed. "Like there aren't a million Swans living in the world."
I shrugged. "You'd be surprised."
There was much to be done with a name. Birth records, death records, military records, occupational records, health records…
"We have your full name. I'm sure your mother and father can be traced from that."
She stopped walking suddenly, her large eyes turning up to find mine in the dark. We were nearly at the hotel by now and I was loath to let her go. My hand memorized the feel of her fingers intertwined in mine.
"Really?" she asked, stunned.
I nodded. "Carlisle and Jasper have a way of tracing back history. They've done it for almost all of us."
Save Alice, of course.
She pondered this for a moment and I could only hope that we would survive this long enough to trace back her history.
Hopefully it won't be another ten days before I update again, but hey! You got two chapters out of it! Thank you so much for your patience and for your continued interest in my story! It means a lot to me, and I truly appreciate all of you!