Chapter 3
It was a beautiful morning and the station area was bustling with activity. All in all, it was a great day to spend time outdoors with classmates and friends, and there were many examples of such groups that could be spotted on occasion, all of them filled with joy of the wonderful weekend that awaited them. The group I currently attended was not one of them.
"Keep an eye out for anything unusual."
Miss Suzumiya had split up with myself and Miss Nagato as part of our search across town. [Kyon] and Miss Asahina, our fellow comrades, were off exploring the opposite direction, as determined by the god of toothpicks. You don't have to be a professional psychiatrist to know that Suzumiya wasn't too glad with the groups we ended up with.
"Search for people acting oddly, mysterious sign posts, crosswalk lines changing, that sort of thing."
Our once proud leader who was bustling with excitement when we first met had calmed down. With only myself and the silent female protagonist of the alien faction as company, Miss Suzumiya had settled for merely searching onward as the two of us followed.
Of course, it was clear that this search for paranormal activity was merely the three of us walking in a straight line. Although the goal of the SOS Brigade was to actually find aliens, time travelers, espers, and maybe a slider or two, my current goal remained to simply make sure Suzumiya remains happy once we inevitably fail to meet her standards of mystery.
"Do you really expect we'll find anything of that sort today?" I asked.
"Of course we will! There's no way we'd be spending our time out here today if there weren't a good chance of us finding something."
I was afraid she'd say something like that.
In her state of melancholy, Miss Suzumiya had seemingly convinced herself that any unusual activity out in the world was unobtainable for someone like her. In a way, she was correct. The Organization has no need for teenagers without psychic powers, the time travelers of the future likely wont accept applications from such an early point in time, and the alien cluster controlling the many TFEIs inhabiting the Earth seems to be doing just fine on its own.
For her entire life, as with most people, Suzumiya Haruhi had no choice but to live life as a normal human. Unfortunately, in her excitement, she seems to have convinced herself that there was still a possibility of beating the odds, and this club seems to have only raised her expectations.
You can hardly blame her though. Suzumiya led herself to believe that she must form a club and stimulate excitement in order to find it. In less than a few weeks she went from a lonely young girl to the leader of an unauthorized organization building a reputation as the complete opposite of normal inside school grounds, one that has drawn in an anti-social bibliophile, a cute, shy young maiden, and a mysterious transfer student of unknown origins. We even have our own down to earth, cynical yet normal guy to serve as our own Watson to the eccentric Holmes we have at the helm.
Compared to what Suzumiya's life used to be, we're the most unusual thing she's ever faced, and no doubt she only expects things to get even more out of hand. Apparently, that's the only way she knows how to have fun.
But there's plenty more ways to enjoy oneself, isn't there? Most people in the same situation would see these events as a fun way to meet new people with unique personalities, but Suzumiya has yet to settle for such a world. Right now, we'd only be a let-down compared to her final destination. We've somehow become disappointing images of ourselves who have now been raised on a pedestal far too high for any of us to continue climbing. Why settle for the milk when the cow is still up for grabs, right?
This cannot go on though, for obvious reasons. I feel the best solution to our dilemma is simple: convince Suzumiya that the search we are currently acting out on is more important than the results. It's the journey, not the destination. I'm sure many fables from cultures around the world end with similar morals, and it was now my job to deliver that same message to our new Chief.
"So what you're saying is that because we are searching for unusual activity, we will inevitably find what we are looking for," I eventually replied.
I hate to wipe away that rare smile off of Suzumiya's face, but if I at the very least need her to see there is a good chance we wont find anything. Then maybe I can persuade her to make secondary objectives. Once the possibility of failure is evident, she will no doubt find ways to turn that failure into something worth fighting for. That's the type of girl Miss Suzumiya is. We'll have a much easier time satisfying her new goals and bring out the silver lining in all this.
"What's interesting about your theory is this," I continued. "If what you say is true, then there is no chance that we would find nothing, meaning that we fill find something no matter what, even if it's not what we set out looking for. By that logic, you could say that it is our search which creates the excitement around us, correct?"
"What's with the philosophy all of a sudden?"
"No reason, I guess you could say it's just a hobby of mine. I'm only trying to start up a nice conversation."
"Well in that case, someone once told me that if you can't find excitement, you have to make it yourself."
I wonder who told her that.
"If we don't bother searching, then how can we expect to find anything? We can't just sit around and wait for nothing. We have to make it happen, and that's why we're here!"
"You've certainly put thought into this," I replied. "Allow me to propose a scenario then. Say we all chose to stay at home today and this search was never played out. In this case, any unusual activity we may have otherwise witnessed would instead go unnoticed and blend into the surroundings, thereby turning something unique and exotic into something completely ordinary. Isn't that right?"
"So you think we'll run into something out there?"
"In a way, my answer would have to be both yes and no. Our search for this activity is what gives it importance, therefore, it is our actions that managed to turn an otherwise normal activity into something that matches what we're looking for. Our very presence allows events to be as mundane or exciting as we wish."
"I see."
I can see the gears turning in Suzumiya's head. I think she rather enjoys having a sophisticated talk like this, so with any luck she'll be having fun just talking about this sort of thing and wont need to find anything to be satisfied. I know I'm certainly having fun.
"Of course, when you think about it, our search is quite unusual as well. You might say that our Brigade's activities would be considered quite strange if you asked a complete stranger."
Suzumiya bowed her head down in thought as we reached our next crosswalk. Behind us, Miss Nagato was as quiet as ever. I'm actually hoping she might join in. Alien philosophy sounds like a pretty fascinating venue, don't you think?
"However," I gave a slight pause to look at our little group before continuing," as stated before, unless someone is searching for this activity, then anything unusual will merely go unnoticed and blend in with its surroundings. Consider our current setting as an example. To an outsider we'd merely resemble ordinary high school students going for a walk. In that case, it would be impossible for any abnormal beings to notice us. One would have to assign value to our search first."
By this point Suzumiya had gone quiet as well. I was actually a bit uncomfortable speaking alone while walking in public like this. I wonder if anyone overhearing our conversation finds any of this interesting. After one more awkward pause I resumed my speech to give Miss Suzumiya more time to think.
"In a way, you could say that because, or perhaps, in spite of the fact that we are searching something that requires us to attract attention, it's possible we might never even find what we are looking for, as we ourselves appear just as ordinary and plain as everyone else from the outside."
Somewhere along the way I think my message was received by the wrong ears. Perhaps I worded everything incorrectly, or maybe Suzumiya isn't ready to accept any chance of failure with her old priorities. I truly wished for Suzumiya to learn that if we are to create our own excitement, we must do so in an inward fashion. She turned a normal group of high school students into something truly unique and fun for all those involved. If she could only see that and stop searching for excitement elsewhere, then everything would be simpler.
Unfortunately, as I continued talking I could see Suzumiya's face, with her thoughts written all over them, was soon replaced by a slight frown. Suzumiya's a smart girl though. I realized too late that perhaps she has already considered everything I just said. Perhaps she knows that she could have fun living a normal life with us all and make her own excitement closer to home. Whatever it is, it became clear that after too much silence on her behalf, she was still determined to find excitement the way she wanted, and not by my own standards as I had hoped.
Suzumiya doesn't want to have fun like everyone else. This SOS Brigade was fun, even for her, but in the end, she still wants fun that she can only call her own. Something exciting that no ordinary human could ever experience. I wish I could understand why Miss Suzumiya refuses to enjoy herself without accomplishing the impossible first, but my attempt at persuading her otherwise was clearly not working.
By now our pace had slown down. Behind us, Miss Nagato remained the same, and my ramblings seem to have only made things worse. My first personal mission was a complete flop. I guess I was foolish to think it would be so easy this early on in the game.
"I was only kidding," I said as I shrugged and tried out my best fake laugh. "I actually have no clue what kind of secrets people could be hiding or not. To be honest, I secretly wish to find something interesting myself."
For the first time I saw the look of disappointment in Suzumiya's eyes that led to three years of worrying over a girl I had never met. Seeing it up close was more than my poor heart could handle. It's possible I may have broken this poor girl's spirits rather than protect her as I had wanted.
"How long have we been walking?" she asked, ignoring my final statement.
"We are approximately 34 meters from our original location," answered Miss Nagato.
At the very least we managed to get our literature enthusiast talking once more. Maybe Nagato will have better luck with this, assuming she has anything planned at all.
"No more distractions then!" said Suzumiya, giving me one last glare before putting on a fake smile of her own. "We can't just go in a straight line, we have to be on the lookout for every nook and cranny we see. Come on, let's go this way."
Suzumiya Haruhi began to resume her role of leader. In a matter of minutes, she had completely given up on following a more predictable path. I'm guessing she no longer wished to have another uncomfortable talk from myself, which would explain why she began walking so much quicker and taking every path possible. On at least one occasion she took us in a complete circle just to avoid pausing at corners for too long.
The few times I tried speaking my words were only met with a quick change in direction. Any bits of small talk I could muster were only met with "Come on" and "This way" responses. By the end of our search it was clear I may have risked my very membership in the SOS Brigade.
"Kyon, we'll meet at noon," cried the thinning voice of Miss Suzumiya into her cell phone. "By the station from this morning again."
Miss Nagato immediately began heading back before either of us, prompting us both to play catch up instead. By the time we arrived it was still a few minutes until noon, so I expected to finally have some quiet time with the three of us simply standing around.
"I wanna have one last look around here. You two stay in case Kyon and Mikuru show up."
Without wasting a second, Miss Suzumiya left us speechless once more. The longer this day went, the worse my actions and choice of words seemed in retrospect. I never imagined anything I could say would have this much effect on the same energetic girl who recruited me into her club. Who would have thought things would turn so dark in such little time?
"Well, it seems my hopes of making Miss Suzumiya enjoy her weekend haven't gone as planned."
I spoke aloud, but as expected, the alien girl remained still and without sound. I had almost considered shutting up and cutting my losses short, but something in me kept my mouth going.
"Do you suppose this Brigade will be able to continue its care free state?"
"Changes in Suzumiya Haruhi have yet to cease. Currently she is still experiencing the surge of Data emitted from when she first began her activities with [Kyon]."
Despite only saying a mere sentence or two, it was suddenly as if Nagato had just performed a dramatic reading. For one thing, this was hardly your typical human response. Miss Nagato made no effort to hide her true objectives from me, which I suppose means she is aware that I know as much about the situation as she does.
Second, she just confirmed that [Kyon] is indeed the one who began this new behavior in Suzumiya. There was no more question of his importance now, and suddenly I was glad his affect on Miss Suzumiya was still going strong. Maybe I hadn't sabotaged myself yet.
Lastly though, Miss Nagato mentioned Data. As I recall, Data was a form of code which allowed for technology and abilities beyond normal human capabilities such as alien space and time travel. Mastery of this mysterious force is what makes Nagato special, and most likely Suzumiya as well. I certainly wouldn't mind having a better understanding of it.
"You're here to observe Miss Suzumiya, correct? More specifically, Data?"
"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is sufficiently advanced beyond physical beings in Data manipulation, but Suzumiya Haruhi remains an enigma. She is unique. That is why I still have work here."
The Integrated Data Sentient Entity. I believe that's the name of the alien entity which created our Miss Nagato. Prior to attending North High I manged to ask for some information on the many members of the SOS Brigade, and I'm glad I can hear more than a quick summary of what little the Organization knows now if Miss Nagato plans on talking more. More surprisingly, this alien girl has just explained her secret mission to me without batting an eyelash.
"Are you allowed to be telling me this?"
"I received no instruction regarding those already informed about the anomaly created by Suzumiya Haruhi three years ago."
"That would include me?"
"Yes."
"So does that mean you wouldn't object to working together?"
"My only task is to observe. However, I will not object to any cooperative methods which could aid in this task."
I was amazed to find that it was Nagato Yuki of all people who managed to give me a pep talk. All this time I believed that neither she nor Miss Asahina were my enemies. We're all here for the same reasons. For the first time though, it was clear that this was more than that.
The three of us have been appointed with the task of observing Suzumiya, and would benefit greatly from her staying in her formerly excited state. I separated myself from the Organization as a member of Suzumiya's SOS Brigade, but these people were my co-members, meaning I should be able to not only co-exist peacefully in their company, but rely on them as well.
It was indeed foolish of me to think I could solve the matter of Suzumiya's happiness on my own. It would take all of us working together to keep our Brigade Chief satisfied, and to assist each other as needed.
"Thank you, Nagato."
"…"
The silence had returned, but I suddenly felt stronger than ever before. The Organization, The Integrated Data Sentient Entity, and the humans of future Earth. These were all powerful groups on their own, but no faction had more potential than the SOS Brigade itself. There was still hope.
"It's just you two still?" the voice of Miss Suzumiya had returned with its former tone. "Where are Kyon and Mikuru? They're late!"
I saw the same look of disappointment in Suzumiya's face, but she had once again resumed acting as she did this morning. Maybe she just needed some time alone with her thoughts. Her downed state remained, but she was once again ready to try her best for everyone.
"There they are." she said to herself once our final companions had returned.
"So, any results?"
The young man known as Kyon and his partner Asahina were as successful with their searches as our group had been. Before, I wasn't concerned about this, but after my slip up, Miss Suzumiya could only give our group the cold shoulder as she began scolding Kyon. Funny how he's the only one she openly criticizes.
After our reunion, the five of us headed into a nearby burger shop for lunch. Once everyone was present Miss Suzumiya was back to her old mood, this time assuring us all that we had to continue searching. If anything, she was now more determined. I guess I should apologize to the others if I get the chance.
Once everyone was finished eating, which didn't take long as the rest of us remained silent until it was time to depart, Miss Suzumiya brought out the same toothpicks she used before to determine teams.
Last time, Miss Nagato and Suzumiya drew unmarked toothpicks alongside myself. This time, I pulled the first toothpick and found I was once again in the unmarked three person team. As the toothpicks disappeared, Kyon and Miss Nagato were paired up and Suzumiya was left with the same brand of toothpick she and I picked last time. This time we'd be going with Miss Asahina.
I was very glad to be paired off with Asahina-san actually. My new goal as of the past hour or so was to improve relationships among the SOS Brigade so we may all work together. It's a shame I have spent little time with [Kyon] so far, but there's always next time.
Unfortunately, Suzumiya wasn't pleased with the matchups this time either. I'm guessing she's upset at once again being on the team that didn't include her favourite subordinate. Before she scolded Kyon and Miss Asahina to behave, but this time all she could do was scowl at the team which now included Nagato in Asahina's place before walking away from our table.
"We'll meet at the station by four. Find something by then."
That was all she could say before our teams split up. By the time we were outside she was already heading off in one direction. Miss Asahina and myself had no choice but to hurry after her without a proper wish of luck to the other team.
"Mikuru, what did you and Kyon do?"
The shrill voice asked us a question once we had caught up. This was not the same Suzumiya from before we chose teams. Does she really want to be on the other team that badly?
"Waa…um…we, uh, we walked by the river."
Sensing Miss Suzumiya gaining newfound anger at the thought of two of her members casually going for a stroll instead of searching as she had instructed, I stepped in to rescue our young time traveler.
"The river sounds like an excellent spot right about now. It must look lovely, but also have little people there. Any unusual activity would be fairly easy to find there."
The answer seemed to be good enough. Miss Suzumiya finally paused and looked at us both thoroughly.
"We already tried walking around," she spoke. "This time we should think of a plan and stick to one spot as well. Mikuru, if you were an alien, where would you hide?"
"Hide? Um…maybe…somewhere where there's a lot of people?"
Suzumiya could merely glare, but eventually Miss Asahina's line of thinking was used for our next destination, which was that of a shopping district.
For the most part, we merely walked around at a continuously rushed pace. Every time it seemed like we'd be stopping by a single point we were dragged away until Miss Suzumiya found a suitable spot. Most of our search was spent going from one street to another, so I'm not sure if Suzumiya even remembered her own suggestion that we stick to one spot.
"Koizumi, keep Mikuru company, I'm going in alone."
In the end Miss Suzumiya picked a single store at random and decided to investigate inside. For some odd reason, even though we could see from the entrance that she wasn't doing any shopping, Suzumiya insisted on going alone.
Luckily, it worked in my favour. I had a time traveler to befriend.
"She might be gone for a while," I said aloud. "Why don't we find a place to sit? There's actually something I wish to discuss."
The two of us found a nearby bench, which Asahina seemed to greatly appreciate as she eagerly sat herself down to rest her feet. She seemed so casual in this setting, it makes one wonder just how much she knows about what's going on regarding Suzumiya.
I thought long and hard about what to say. I had only just confirmed that Miss Nagato was willing to be my ally, so should I just take the Nagato approach and say what I want? What if time travelers are prohibited from speaking of such matters to protect the future? Come to think of it, I don't even know if I should be allowed to talk about this sort of thing. I'll just have to wing it, I suppose.
"What is it?" Asahina asked?
"Asahina-san, how much do you know about Miss Suzumiya?"
I can tell I definitely caught her off guard. The poor girl looked like a small rabbit who just realized she had taken up residence in a wolves den.
"D-do you mean…what she's like as a person?"
The poor girl gave the weakest fake smile I've seen today so far. She was obviously nervous. Maybe I shouldn't have been so abrupt.
"That's not quite what I had in mind."
The conversation seemed to take a while to get off the ground. I already learned today that getting my message across to teenage girls was not my strong suit. I should be clear, but still keep in mind this is Asahina-san after all.
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what we can discuss presently. The thing is, I've always wished to discuss certain things, but not with my usual acquaintances. I guess that's why I'm glad Miss Suzumiya has brought us all together. Does that make sense?"
My lack of social skills was becoming more apparent as the confused look grew on Miss Asahina's face, which was beginning to show a slight red hue.
"Don't worry," I assured her. "Suzumiya could return at any moment, so I'll keep this brief. I was just wondering what you had to say about Suzumiya and her more unique qualities."
"Suzumiya…Suzumiya-san is Suzumiya-san."
What a surprisingly accurate summarization of everything. Suzumiya-san is unique and impossible to explain properly.
"I'm not sure what is you've learned, Miss Asahina, but I truly believe that Suzumiya's well being and state of mind have a powerful influence on those around her. For this reason, I believe it's best we make her happy and satisfied with her life. Don't you agree?"
"Well being…? So…when Suzumiya is upset or angry…"
"It causes trouble for the rest of us."
From this brief questioning I think it's reasonable to assume Miss Asahina is well aware of how important Miss Suzumiya is and what kind of problems that girl has unwillingly created in the past. Maybe she would indeed make a good ally.
"Right now," I continued, "it may not seem like it, but Suzumiya has been enjoying herself. At least, not in a way she has before. She's begun a club and organized activities such as this. Unfortunately, this has a side effect of raising her expectations beyond that which we can deliver upon. I'm afraid even now she's showing signs of regret and disappointment."
Having to summarize the past several weeks certain put things into perspective. My old vigor was returning, but along with it the reminder of how much of the regret and disappointed I experienced was fueled by my own actions. Meanwhile, Asahina began to appear more curious about the subject matter. I can now imagine her reading future literature by a fireplace with that more serious expression of hers.
"But why is she disappointed? She doesn't really expect us to find anything does she?"
"Make no mistake, she's a bright young lady. Miss Suzumiya is well aware of how foolish it is to expect drastic results. That's probably why things are still somewhat peaceful."
Suddenly I began counting the number of days it's been since I last saw a Closed Space. In the long run, things are still peaceful, but it's easy to see the storm brewing inside Suzumiya's head. We have to prepare for this.
"However, Miss Suzumiya is still human, and humans have many subconscious desires. Although she knows her desires aren't reasonable, the lack of progress is taking its toll on her."
"So why are we discussing this then?"
Taking a good look at the young woman before me I could see her uncomfortable stance from before hadn't vanished yet. She seemed so delicate, and I doubt she was accustomed to discussions such as this one, no matter how well she could respond to my questions. One has to wonder how she became a time traveler in the first place.
"I guess I'll cut to the chase. As I explained, I believe it's best we make Suzumiya happy, but as long as she raises her expectations, it presents a serious problem. The way things are now, she might even give up on us."
"What do you mean give up?"
"To be honest, even we don't know what she'd do in such a situation. Perhaps she'll just dissolve the Brigade and go about her way. It could also be much worse though. Enough to affect the whole world."
"You believe Suzumiya-san can do something like that?"
"Indeed, we know very little of what she can do when pushed beyond her limits. What I'm trying to say with all this is that my previous exploits in trying to improve Miss Suzumiya's disposition have proven to be more difficult to pull off than I expected. Alone I am not enough it seems."
"What do you think would be enough?"
"I think it's no secret we come from different backgrounds. I truly value everyone's safety over my own personal ties though, which is why I propose that we work together from now on, not as factions brought together by Suzumiya, but as individuals who wish to bring about peace. After all, we're all part of the SOS Brigade."
"I-I don't think…I can make any promises…"
"I thought so. Well I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore. I know that you are a time traveler, just as you know about my connections with my esper Organization, correct?"
"That's classified."
"I know Miss Nagato might be willing to be our ally as well. Right now we can do little more than observe, but together, we're three individuals who wish to keep everyone safe. I'm hoping that when the time comes, I can count on you, just as I hope to be as valuable an ally to you and the rest of the Brigade. "
I'm unsure what was going on in Miss Asahina's head, but she was definitely more difficult to read than Miss Suzumiya. Unfortunately, that very same girl soon came to interrupt our discussion before I could figure out for sure what I could expect from Miss Asahina in the future.
"Lousy store managers! What the hell is wrong with those people?"
Our walk back to the station area was met with Suzumiya directing her anger outwardly once more as she recounted the tale of how she was kicked out of the clothing shop she had chosen earlier. The managers didn't take kindly to her harassing their customers. I'm honestly not sure if this is an improvement to her silent treatment. At least she's no longer upset with just us anymore.
Once we arrived at our meet-up spot though, it was once again free of that confused look on Kyon's face we've all come to expect. Our resident Earthling and Data-based life form duo was nowhere to be found. Unlike last time, Miss Suzumiya made no effort to take one last look around or buy us some more time.
I want to say I feel bad for what happened next. No one deserves to go through Suzumiya's wrath, especially not herself. I really don't think it's healthy for her to get so upset at a time like this, which is why I've tried and failed to prevent this from happening. Unfortunately, no matter how much I tried to find an excuse for my fellow SOS Brigade members, there was no hiding the fact that the remaining two were far beyond late by this point.
"You dumbass! Get your asses over here right now!"
I can't say it was pleasant standing next to the girl yelling at her phone. Needless to say, our little company of three was attracting the more-than-occasional glance from passerbies. I really wanted to prevent any incidents, but even if I had convinced Suzumiya to be more accepting of what she has and give up this imaginary search of hers it wouldn't have made up for the fact that two of her new colleagues have blown her off.
It was quite a while before the two culprits arrived. I'm not sure where they went, but Miss Nagato was sporting a new thick book for her collection and couldn't appear any happier while . Well at least this all proved that it is indeed possible to get on the alien girl's good side.
Kyon on the other hand was frantically dragging his bespectacled companion along and resembled someone who just walked on a field of heated shards of glass in order to get here on time. The entire time waiting here, Miss Suzumiya had given up on listening to anyone else and merely spent several minutes leaving messages on Kyon's cell phone. He's definitely in for quite a night when he has to listen to them all at once.
Of course, knowing Kyon how little I know him I can still tell he'll probably just delete every single one of those messages. Now would've been a good time to confess any secrets to him, Suzumiya.
The end of day meeting went about as well as you would expect. When Suzumiya wasn't berating Kyon, who was forced to buy us all drinks once again as penalty (poor Miss Nagato was just being ignored by this point), the entire Brigade was left with uncomfortable silence and shuffling.
Miss Nagato was eager to read her new book and was the first to leave. Miss Asahina on the other hand was still lingering, unsure of what to do next. After my talk with her I don't think witnessing the legendary Suzumiya Haruhi at her worst was very helpful. As for myself, I was left to witness the result of my inaction. My mission today to make sure Suzumiya was happy was a complete loss. A victory for the worshippers of misfortune is what you might classify today's resolution under.
In the end all I could do was shrug and give everyone my goodbyes. I wasn't very comfortable leaving the unpredictable Kyon with the currently unstable Suzumiya, but there was little I could do by this point other than hope things don't progress in a downward direction once more.
As I headed home I could only hang my head in shame as I sensed the great disturbance which made the latter half of today quite difficult to go through with a smile on my face.
Off in the distance, not far from where the SOS Brigade met and departed from, there was a Closed Space forming.
Do you ever wonder where our harsher emotions stem from? Obviously, when one encounters a sad situation, they feel sorrow and a little bit of anger at their situation, but mankind has always been able to go beyond mere sadness.
Evolution does not favour unnecessary actions. Even today, few humans would do anything without getting something in return. Even the most selfless of acts provide some form of intangible satisfaction to those that enjoy doing good. Could you say then, that the opposite were true? People driven to a life of serial crimes and doing harm upon others or their property must be getting something out of their efforts, otherwise they wouldn't risk such inconvenient punishments such as jail time.
Thus, we can say without doubt, that there exists some intangible force in our minds that people indulge in when they act out on their anger. And that is how you can prove the existence of hatred and sorrow, even to an emotionless non-humanoid.
But not everyone acts out in such an extreme matter, otherwise the whole world would be overrun with heartless murderers and sadists. What is it that sustains the darkest of our personal wraths? I suppose that question has no real answer. Everyone has their own unique outlet, a way to find relief inside our heads.
So what happens when your head begins to control things in the real world? How would you go about relieving any stress you experience after a bad day? This is the question one might ask when you think about someone like Suzumiya Haruhi.
I believe I've teased enough on this matter. Currently, you would find me inside one of the infamous Closed Spaces that cause such panic and worry. It is inside these sealed realities that Suzumiya unleashes every built up form of negative human emotion she has inside of her.
If you're curious how she does this, allow me to paint a picture for you. Imagine a giant monster, not too different from the rubber suited monsters we see in films. This creature would defy gravity and raise its immense figure up high into the sky, towering over buildings as it bathes them in an ominous blue glow.
Just what are these giant beings? What do they look like? It's hard to say really. Their overall shape resembles that of a large man, but there is certainly no confusing them for anything resembling a human. Their featureless bodies consist of a mere static-like substance, appearing as neither solid nor any other form of known matter.
These are what we call, Celestials.
When Suzumiya Haruhi is at her worst, her subconscious mind creates a parallel dimension known as a Closed Space. It is here where these Celestials exist to cause destruction, effortlessly plowing through large buildings and skyscrapers with their giant limbs while they float through the ground with ease.
If left unchecked, the Celestials would only cause more destruction, expanding the Closed Space to encompass a greater portion of our world to make room for such a need. If left to continue this way even further, the Closed Space would inevitably expand to reach the entire planet, and the world will cease to exist.
How do I know all this? Well as many now know, I am an esper, given powers and knowledge by Suzumiya Haruhi three years ago. I don't know the full details of these Closed Spaces, all I know is that on the day I was reborn as an esper, I found I knew everything that needs to be known about these giant monsters and the dangers they pose.
As for why this event occurs, well, that's still up for debate. Some might say Suzumiya subconsciously wishes to destroy the world, and whenever she's upset, her inhibitions begin to wane and she ceases to hold back her more extreme thoughts.
I don't think Suzumiya is that kind of person though. In a way, we're all the same. When someone experiences a bad situation, their mind begins to wander and succumb to the pressures of our worse feelings and mistakes.
Everyone has their own unique outlet, a way to find relief inside our heads. For Suzumiya Haruhi, these subconscious spaces, created without her knowing, are very likely the only thing keeping her from being crushed by the collected inner turmoils of everyday life.
Here lies our unfortunate dilemma. Suzumiya's Closed Spaces are a mere sign of her humanity. Without them, she'd have no outlet, and would likely succumb to less favorable actions as a substitute. However, the very same Closed Spaces that allow her to function like a normal person are what threaten to destroy the entire world.
It is this paradox that necessitates the need for us espers. We cannot prevent Closed Spaces from appearing, but we also cannot allow them to exist for too long. It is our job to sit back and allow them to form, and then step in before the damage spreads.
Under normal circumstances, I am just an ordinary human. You'll find no magical or artificial components to my body, and I behave and think like any other logical high school student would. Inside Closed Space though, that is no longer the case.
Around me is a lifeless world, one with no air or motion. In the distance, you can see giant blue beings walking the city. It is theoretically impossible for something of that size to carry its own weight, and yet it somehow stands. Despite this, the ground does not move from the colossal monsters walking about. This world is unreal.
As expected from such supernatural surroundings, my fellow espers and I also behave differently. Our bodies and minds remain unchanged, but it is here that we hold instinctual abilities we wouldn't expect to have otherwise.
In the distance, I can see red dots forming around the blue being. That is my cue. In this world, I am unable to explain how, but I can feel myself become engulfed by a powerful aura. The still ground below me disappears as my vision heightens. I am now floating and emitting powerful energy, like a fiery inferno.
I admit, this certainly sounds cool. You'd think this would be the highlight of my day whenever I go into a Closed Space, and on occasion it is. I guess you just get used to it though. To an outsider, I must not appear human. No normal human can form into a glowing sphere of destruction after all. From my perspective though, this transformation serves only as a reminder of the true issues at hand here.
I don't quite know how a Celestial works or how it is destroyed. When I and the many other espers of The Organization surround the almighty Celestials, the giant creatures begin to dissolve like cream mixed into a dark cup of coffee. Whatever this power we have is called, it is the only thing we know of that can stop a Celestial.
Truth be told, I think my esper powers can be explained as glourified flight, and there are times when I simply fly around the giants in my protective sphere without any strategy. The Celestial falls either way, so it's not like any serious effort is required. I think my companions might agree. I sometimes wonder if any of them use this temporary ability to fly high off the ground as their own outlet for stress relief.
The feeling wears thin rather quickly though. I'm no longer in junior high school, and being able to transform and fly around giant monsters like this loses its charm once you realize this could very well be my job for the rest of my life. Sooner or later, a young girl, one that I now know personally, will experience an inner struggle, and her subconscious will find no other outlet than to destroy a city on her behalf.
Any pleasure I could get from the gift of flight and firepower is lost whenever I think of Suzumiya. A human mind is an eerie thing, and us espers get to experience hers on a regular basis. I'd say it's almost impossible not to feel sympathy for her.
Before long, the Celestials will disappear and their destruction will cease. When this happens, my favourite part happens. By now I'm sure other espers feel their job is finished and they merely fly back to where they entered from, prepared for their cue to leave Closed Space. Sure enough, I saw plenty of red spheres fly off and away the second our big blue adversary was dealt with.
I take more joy in what would soon follow though. I flew back to the spot I departed from, and the giant aura of red energy began to dissolve as well as I neared the ground. Eventually, the lifeless Earth was beneath me once more, and I once again resembled an ordinary teenage boy.
Of course, the power to take off still existed in me, I just wont get to engage in air combat again until next time. Truth be told, the fight against Celestials are all a blur to me now. If I were to write a book about my adventures in Closed Space land I would no doubt be criticized for writing such boring combat scenes.
Instead, the part I look forward to was the giant crack in the sky. A powerful glow could be seen up high in the once grey and clear skies as cracks begin to form, almost as if the Closed Space were a dome made of glass and the Celestial's disappearance resulted in its shattering.
To other espers, this phenomena is likely nothing more than a sign that we would soon find ourselves in the real world and our real lives could commence once more. To me, I see it as a beautiful sight. Those cracks will quickly spread, and the Closed Space, the result of Suzumiya's depression and anger, will dissolve into nothing.
I found myself in the middle of an empty street. The sound of cars and streets nearby could be heard once more. The spectacle of light from before ended as a giant explosion of shattered space filled the sky, only to be replaced by the familiar red skies of the sun setting. The Closed Space was no more.
Typically, these Closed Spaces appear at night, when Suzumiya is dreaming. Only when she is truly upset will a Closed Space appear while she's conscious. Earlier today, the SOS Brigade went on a search, as commanded by our Brigade Chief. Now it is early evening time, and as I just witnessed, our Chief was not pleased with how her day went.
On occasion I'll run into other members of the Organization after leaving a Closed Space, both esper and non-esper. Today though, it was nothing but near silence as I walked toward the home I left this morning. The existence of today's Closed Space is more than enough summary of how things went with Miss Suzumiya and the SOS Brigade.
I had spent most of the day out and away from home, which isn't too uncommon for a young person of my age. A majority of it was spent with the people I now consider my friends. When I arrive home, I could say with complete honesty that I spent today having fun with my club activities.
I might not even be the only one to feel this way. Miss Asahina and Miss Nagato have more or less confirmed that, while they have no direct plans to work with me or The Organization in the near future, neither object to working toward a shared goal. I regret not having been able to talk to Kyon today, but there will be more chances.
I believe I should get to speak to him about esper matters very soon too. He's obviously important to Suzumiya, and that makes him important to us as well. He is a normal high school boy, but he is also a member of the SOS Brigade, and I don't plan on neglecting the club which led to Miss Suzumiya's higher spirits earlier.
Though today ended in despair for our young reality warper, I felt more relief than ever, because now I was certain that my mission was not one I'd have to undergo alone. The SOS Brigade exists so that all our members can enjoy an exciting life, and I don't think we'd make a very good club if we let our founder and leader be the only one not included.
I went home, having failed today's mission. But the Brigade is still standing, and the story is far from over.