AN: Wow! If I'd known hurting Jack would get me that kind of response, I'd have done it earlier :D Anyway, here's Part Eleven, because I'd hate to be called an evil author who loves to torture her readers ;) I thought about giving you guys two chapters this time, but then I realised that if I did, I'd be leaving you all hanging off the edge of a cliff over the weekend. I thought that was too heartless even for me...

o0o

Part Eleven

"The General was hit."

The words stopped her breath.

'No!'

Panic and worry ran through her. Not the General! Not Jack! Please no! Not because of her…

"What! How? I mean…is he okay?"

Daniel's anguished question broke through her paralysis and she listened intently to Reynolds's reply.

"He took down the Super Soldier, but it returned fire before he could neutralise it."

Colonel Reynolds nearly choked on the words, his face revealing a mix of anger and worry. He'd seen the General go down and had stepped in as Second in Command of the SGC. He had done his duty. He'd experienced the weight of command and watched his fellow soldiers die in his place, just as the General had apparently done only moments before he was shot. Just as she had done when Perry died in her place.

The images rushed into her head without her consent.

"Colonel, look out!"

The jolt as she was pushed aside.

The feel of heat passing by in slow motion as the bolt flew past.

The thump as it hit and the smell…

Bile rose up in her throat and she spun away, breathing harshly through her nose.

God, she had to get out of here!

Stumbling blindly over the carnage that lay before her, Sam quickly followed the two men who were now carrying her father to the infirmary.

"Sam?"

She heard Daniel call after her in confusion, but she didn't stop. She didn't need to be told what had happened to the General, she already knew. She had felt it back on the planet.

Gut-wrenching pain.

Carter!

Blackness.

The vision of the General being thrown back against the wall and falling motionless to the floor…

If she asked for details regarding the General's injury from those who had witnessed it, she knew beyond a doubt that it would show the same scene she had seen inside her head. And at this point, she was too tired to continue to delay the inevitable conclusion, despite her reluctance to admit it.

Too drained to deny the one remaining plausible explanation. That the emotions she'd felt had come from him. They had to have, because they certainly weren't originating from her.

Unless she truly was going insane, in which case it wouldn't matter anyway.

She didn't know how or why this was happening and couldn't even begin to fathom an answer, but she had seen it happen. She knew that it was all horrifyingly real. And couldn't bear to hear the words confirming it.

She didn't want to know. To hear that he was –

Then she felt it. A tickle at the back of her mind. The tiniest brush against her consciousness. A sense of dulled pain and confusion. Her step faltered momentarily as it registered and the sense of dread that had clenched itself around her heart since her arrival at the SGC, loosened its grip. It was him.

He was alive. He hadn't died because of her.

Relief swelled up inside, roaring through her with a strength she hadn't expected. She barely had chance to take it all in, before an answering wave of relief overran her senses. He knew she was there and was glad to feel it.

She choked back a sob. He was relieved that she was alive? God! She didn't deserve his relief! The whole reason he was lying injured in the infirmary was because she had screwed up!

She reeled from the emotion of it all before forcibly slamming the brakes on the emotional overload, the sudden lack of feeling leaving her numb. She couldn't do this. Not right now. She forced herself to think dispassionately.

He was alive.

They were alive and she permitted herself the smallest feeling of comfort at the thought. Her father would recover and the General…

Suddenly she wasn't so sure. Her rigid self-control lasted little more than a minute before it broke as she panicked, realising that she didn't know…not for sure. She couldn't place the sensation now filtering through her weary body. She had felt him just a second ago. In pain. Confused. Relieved. But his presence had been there.

Now though…the tingle that had been so prevalent was muted. It was her own fault, she deduced through her fear. It had faded into more of a gentle hum as she struggled desperately to block him out. She was having trouble dealing with her own emotions right now, she couldn't handle his as well.

Paranoia struck hard and she was forced to admit to herself that blocking him out wasn't going to work. She couldn't cut herself off from him. Not after everything which had just happened. She wanted, no, needed to feel his presence. It wasn't enough to know that he was alive, she had to know that he was going to be okay.

Hastily, she lowered the mental walls she had thrown up mere seconds ago. The image of a penlight immediately popped into her head, a wave of irritation and complaint following swiftly on it's heels. She fought the urge to chuckle and relaxed.

If he was well enough to be complaining, then he was going to be fine.

o0o

The sound of running feet scuffing against concrete dragged her thoughts back to the present.

"Sam! You okay?" Daniel asked, as he caught up to her and began walking beside her down the corridor.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Glancing at her friend briefly, she turned her gaze resolutely to the front.

Her mood of relief was dashed once again by what she had seen from the corner of her eye. If she looked back, she knew she would see the devastation that had been done by one person.

Her.

She had ordered SG-5 away from the gate. She had allowed the Super Soldier to penetrate the SGC's defences, without warning. She had let so many die and for what?

Her father? She had sacrificed all these men and women for her own selfishness.

She had sacrificed her future. She had let the General become a victim of her pride.

Again.

Self-loathing filled her. She'd thought about nobody but herself in all of this. Yet it was everyone but her, who had paid the price. Just what kind of person was she to manipulate people to serve her own ends? She was no better than a Goa'uld!

Even now she was fretting over her own worries, instead of the people who had suffered because of her selfish need to do what she believed to be right.

The thought made her sick. And for a moment, she thought she was going to lose it and fall apart right there in the corridor. Pride was the only thing which prevented it. Her stubborn refusal to show weakness in public, where those whose respect she craved could see.

'Pride goeth before a fall,' she thought wryly, even her own inner voice sounding remarkably Jack-like.

Belatedly, it occurred to her that she was probably broadcasting her feelings loud and clear to the one person whom she truly didn't want knowing how she was currently feeling.

Her thought was confirmed as vehement denial mixed with pity ran through her. It was followed immediately by a strong sense of acceptance, understanding and comfort

Her Dad was alive. She hadn't left him behind. She had accomplished her mission and come home alive. That was the most important thing and as such, the only thing which mattered.

She only wished she could believe it.

"Hey." Daniel grabbed her shoulder gently, jolting her out of her thoughts and snapping their tenuous connection.

"He's going to be fine. Selmak will have him back in shape in no time."

Sam nodded, but didn't answer.

"As for Jack, Reynolds said it was a glancing blow, not much damage. The fall knocked him unconscious. He'll probably be chomping at the bit to leave the infirmary by the end of the day."

Daniel waited for her to respond, but when she didn't, he tugged her to a stop.

"What are you doing!" Sam asked angrily, jerking her arm from his grasp.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Daniel retorted. "Sam, come on! They're alive and yet you're acting like they're dead!"

"They are dead, Daniel!" She spat at him, waving her hand down the corridor behind them.

"Look at them! So many and for what?"

Unsure how to proceed, he calmly answered, "Sam, they died to save others. It's what we do."

He saw that she was about to object, and hurriedly added, "You taught me that."

Crossing her arms in front of her like a shield, she baited him.

"When?"

Inhaling deeply, Daniel smirked grimly. "When you guys brought me back to the SGC and SG-1."

"Oh." Was the only response Sam could muster.

She remembered the awkwardness that had followed his return to humanity and in a sudden burst of clarity realised that was when her view about 'getting a life' had really changed. She wanted to live again, like Daniel. Experience the awe and wonder that she'd somehow lost over the past seven years. Before she became jaded.

But at what cost? She had 'left behind' the one man she had sworn to protect with her life so many times. Perhaps not verbally, but in her heart. She had locked him in that room with her so-called 'past life' and begun a new one without him.

And now he was in the infirmary. Alive, but not living. And it was her fault.

Determination filled her. It was past time for her to do something about it. She met Daniel's eyes with new resolve.

"I need to fix this, Daniel."

He smiled sadly. "You can't fix everything, Sam."

She sighed. "I know."

And she did. But at the very least, she had to try.

Knowing that Daniel would understand, she reached down and squeezed his hand, before turning away and walking the rest of the way to the infirmary alone.

o0o

TBC…

Review Responses:

eb2504 - Um...nothing? Yeah, I wouldn't believe me either! Thank you and I hope that wasn't too long a wait for you.

Floopygirl - Thank you, that scene was difficult to write but worth it to see the response! Pete doesn't bother me, so you don't need to worry on that account. As for what to read next...I think you should read both ;)

PhDelicious - I know. Hope that wasn't too long.

froggy0319 - Oh yes! Yes again, and yes, I am...

stargate-fan - Thank you.

debcole - You're correct. For now :P

Sci Fi Fan Gillian - Thank you!

Quinndolynn - YES! Thank you. Seriously though, why does he have to be alive? ;)

Nehebkau - Thank you. And so do I...

justme - Thanks. Was that quick enough?

SGAngeL - Yeah, don't you just hate them, lol! Thank you, though. And I guess that answers my question of why Jack has to be okay... :runs and hide from irate readers: