He walks out of his room, and towards the living room, where he sees her sitting on a chair facing the easel. Her hand is effortlessly moving a paint brush against the once plain white canvas. She stops; setting the brush down, and sweeping her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head. He notices then the white cords coming out of her ears, and as he gets closer he hears her humming along to whatever song is playing. The sun is starting to rise, casting a warm, natural glow throughout the house. He stops a few feet behind her, and just watches the natural movements of her wrist. He's so memorized, that he doesn't see her other hand move up to remove one of her ear buds.
"Couldn't sleep?" She asks as she dips the brush in a spot of light blue paint.
"Not really." He answers
"Me either." She says sadly; putting the brush down again, and turning to face him. He doesn't mean for it to be out loud, but a light chuckle escapes his lips as he takes in the light blue smudge on her cheek.
"What?" She asks confused.
"You have some paint on your face." He says; pointing to the same area on his face. First she wipes at her left cheek, and he shakes his head.
"Other side." He says, and she swipes but somehow completely misses the smudge. He steps forward some, until there's not much space between them. He cautiously cups her face, and rubs the paint off of her cheek. Their eyes lock on each other's as his thumb moves slowly over her skin.
"Thanks." She says when he steps away, and he nods.
"So we're really doing this?" She asks after a few moments
"What?"
"Going back to how it was before we got together. I get that you're upset that I'm not staying, but what did you think Jay? Did you really think we were going to stay in this bubble forever? We have our lives to go back to."
"I just thought that maybe we'd be a part of each other's lives. I thought that we could give this an actual shot one day. But I guess I'm the only that saw this as more than a few convenient hook ups to pass the time."
"Is that what you think this is to me? Just a convenient hook up?"
"Am I wrong?"
"Yes." She yells, then the room goes silent.
"I want to give us a shot too, and be a part of your life Jay." She says after a few minutes.
"Then why are you pushing me away?" He asks; stepping towards her again. She looks down, and wipes some of the drying paint off her hands, and onto the old rag he gave her for when she was painting. He tilts her chin up, and she looks at him; tears pooling in her eyes.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" He asks and she shakes her head as a tear makes it way down her cheek, and he wipes it away quickly.
"Then what is it?"
"I thought it would be easier to push you away now rather than wait until I actually have to go home." She says; looking back down as more tears fall from her eyes.
"Easier for who?" Jay asks calmly.
"Both of us."
"Well it's not easier for me."
"Me either." She says honestly.
"But what about when they find Charlie? Whether it's a week, a month or a year, I have friends, and family in Chicago too Jay. Staying together, and getting closer is just going to make it harder when we have to say goodbye."
"Who says we have to say goodbye?"
She shrugs, and looks up at him with tears still streaming down her face.
"What do you say we try to get some sleep now? We'll things out as we go." He suggests, and she nods.
"Jay." She says as he takes her hand, and turns to go to his room. He stops and looks back at her. She cups his jaw gently and silently asks permission before she leans in and kisses him slowly.
"I'm sorry, for everything." She whispers against his lips, and then he leans in and kisses her back, and they walk to his room.
He pulls the curtains closed, before joining her on the bed. She cuddles into his side, and he wraps his arm around her back, and places a kiss to her temple, her eyes close as his lips linger on her skin. They fall asleep quickly, and stay sleeping until Jay's phone rings. He rubs his eyes with one hand, while reaching to silence the phone with the other. Erin remains sound asleep against him, and he gently pries himself from the bed to take the call in the hall.
"Hello." He whispers as he quietly closes the door behind him.
"Jay they got him." Antonio says in the phone.
"Who?" Jay asks groggily.
"Charlie."
"That's uh great. When?" He says and asks groggily; still half asleep.
"I guess he got desperate, and went to Erin's apartment himself last night. Sergeant Voight had camera's set up inside, and was able to get his team to apprehend him." Antonio says. Jay doesn't reply, of course he's relieved that the man threatening Erin is back behind bars, but his heart clenches as he goes back to the conversation they had just hours ago. Once he tells her that Charlie's been caught, she'll go back to Chicago. He knows how scared she is, and knows that he needs to tell her, but part of him wants to keep her here as long as possible.
After hanging up with Antonio, he goes back into his room. He lays back down beside her, and she wastes no time snuggling into his side once again.
XXXXXX
A couple days later Jay asks Kim to come over again while he goes back to practice. To his surprise she says yes right away, no questions asked, and he goes to get out of bed. But Erin's hands snake around his midsection, and she presses her bare chest into his back.
"Are you sure you're ok with me going to practice? Cause I can go back next week."
"Yes, I just wanted to give you a kiss before you left."
"I'm not leaving for a little bit, but I was going to take a shower and get ready." He says, as she leans to give him a quick peck.
"Mind if I join you?"
"I will never say no to that question, and if I do, you know where the guns are." He says, and she smacks his chest lightly. They make their way to the bathroom, and get in the shower.
Jay gets out before her, and he gives her a kiss as he leaves. After he gets dressed, he goes out to the living room just as there's a light knock at the door. He walks over to the front door, and opens it. It's Kim, and she's giving a questioning look.
"Hey thanks for this Kim."
"You're welcome." She says, walking past him.
"I just have one question." She adds; turning back around to face him as he closes the door.
"I figured you'd have more than one, but what is it."
"I was trying to figure it out on my own, as to why you asked me to come, and hang out with her, and the only thing I could think of was that you haven't told her. So my question is why?" She says.
Erin has gotten out of the shower, and thrown on a t shirt, and a pair of Jay's boxers. She then exits his room, and walks to where she hears Jay and Kim talking. The smile on her face falls as she hears what they're talking about, and she steps into the guest room so they don't see her. Jay looks down the hall, and doesn't see or hear her so he answers.
"I don't know how to tell her Kim. I've tried several times over the last couple of days, but this selfish part of me keeps me from getting the words out."
"Why? She'll be so relieved when hears that Charlie's been caught." Kim says, and Erin gasps quietly, and covers her mouth with her hand.
"She'll leave Kim."
"She deserves to know Jay."
"I know." He says looking down, and rubbing the back of his neck.
"So either you tell her or I will, because keeping this from her is wrong." Kim says as she sits down.
"Ok." Jay says, but he doesn't know that Erin is already calling Antonio. She walks into the bathroom, so Kim and Jay don't hear her.
"Hey Antonio."
"Hi Erin."
"I'm sorry to bother you, but I just found out about Charlie, and I was wondering if you were going to Chicago this weekend?"
"You're not bothering me. I was actually supposed to go next week, but I can give you a ride if you need."
"I can pay you when we get there."
"That won't be necessary Erin, when would you like to leave?"
"As soon as possible please?"
"I'll just drop my kids off at home, and then I'll be there."
"Thank you Antonio." She says before hanging up. She blinks back the tears forming in her eyes, and leaves the bathroom. She goes back to Jay's room, and switches the boxers for sweatpants then going back out. As she gets out to the living room she sees that Jay has left.
"Hey." Kim says cheerfully with a smile on her face, but when she sees the sad look on Erin face, her expression becomes more serious.
"Are you ok?" Kim asks, and Erin shakes her head.
"How long have you guys known?"
"Erin he-"
"How long Kim?" Erin asks a little more sternly, her voice cracking as she tries control all the emotions coursing through her.
"Three days." Kim answers looking down
"I wish he would have just told me."
"He wanted to."
"But he didn't Kim." She says quietly
"I called Antonio, and he's going to give me a ride home." She adds
"You're not going to say bye to him."
"I'll call him when I get to Chicago, but I can't see him."
"Ok." Kim says sadly knowing how heartbroken Jay will be. Erin attaches Chances leash just as there's a knock at the door.
"That'll be Antonio." Erin says with a sad smile, as Kim stands from the chair, and goes to give her a hug.
"You've been a great friend to me Erin, and I hope we can still be friends after this." She says as she back away.
"You too, thank you for everything and I'll text you when I get home, maybe you come visit Chicago after your wedding."
"Yeah, and you're still coming to the wedding right?"
"If you'll have me still."
"Of course." Kim says
"Then I'll see you then."
"Ok see you then." Kim says as Erin opens the door, and leaves.
XXXXXX
When Jay gets home, he expects to see Kim and Erin sitting in the living room watching a movie or Friends, but they're not. He proceeds to the kitchen, and finds Kim sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee.
"Hey, where's Erin?" He asks with a weak smile still on his face.
"I'm sorry Jay."
"What?"
"She heard us talking before you left. She called and asked Antonio to take her home."
"She left?" He asks sadly, and Kim nods.
"About a hour and a half ago."
"Thanks for staying, and letting me know." Jay says leaning against the counter.
"I'm sorry Jay." She says, as she gets up and walks to stand by him, and he nods.
Kim leaves not longer after, and Jay stays frozen in place for a bit. He gets broken from his thoughts, when he hears Carly whine at the back door. He goes to let her out, and looks over at the easel with Erin's most recent painting still sitting on it. He lets Carly back in, and she goes to lay on the her bed in front of the fireplace, and whines as she puts her head down. He bends down and pets her head before he goes to the kitchen to get himself a drink, but ends up grabbing the six pack of beer from the fridge, and taking it back to the living room. He chugs one bottle before he plops down on the couch, and turns the TV on. He keeps the sports channel on briefly before he starts flipping through the channels. Then he gets to TBS, and Friends is on. He almost goes past it, but then he's putting the remote down, and grabbing another bottle. He pops the cap off with ease, as he looks at the chair. Just as Ross says
'This can't be it.'
"This can't be it." Jay repeats.
'Then how come it is?' Rachel says, as Jay takes a swig.
XXXXXX
A/N: Hope everyone is having a lovely week so far, please review! Much Love.