Hunnigan lay on the couch and exhaled deeply through her nose. It was quiet in the apartment, the clock's usually unnoticeable ticking amplified by the lack of sounds from elsewhere; even the hum of the traffic had faded out. She'd gotten started on dinner, namely, ordered a pizza, and decided to lay down and maybe watch something while waiting for it to arrive, but then the silence had overwhelmed her, and she'd stopped to just listen to it.

With the silence had come the odd feeling of... something she couldn't define. It wasn't actual depression nor was it sadness, not really apathy either, just... a weird concoction of all of those things, rendering her bored. It wasn't like she couldn't think of anything to do, on the contrary; she could've read a book, played video games, caught up on the shows she'd been meaning to watch but hadn't had the time. Hell, she could've gotten drunk and just sat at her computer listening to music, she wouldn't need to worry about breastfeeding Seeley the day after. But she didn't feel like doing any of those things.

Why am I so sad? she asked herself internally, sighing deeply again.

The argument with her mother was weighing her down, that was an obvious one, but it wasn't all of it. She wished it had been that simple.

Everything's the same. That's the problem, nothing's changed, I want something to be different, but making a difference is kind of scary and feels overwhelming. And now I'm pre-emptively stressing out over change I haven't even initiated yet. I wonder if anyone else gets like this, she scoffed to herself, got up and went to answer the door when there was a knock. She paid for the pizza (giving a generous tip for the speedy delivery) and headed back to the living room to eat.

She'd managed to find something to watch while eating and gotten one slice down when her phone rang. She humphed, wiped her hands and answered the call.

"Hey!" she greeted Helena.
"Hi. Leon mentioned you called earlier, so I figured I'd call you back."

"I didn't have anything important, I just wanted to check in on you and chat," Hunnigan said, folded up another slice and bit into it.
"Well, I just woke up and I've gone from happily drunk to kind of hungover... and I think I might be getting sick," Helena grumbled.

"Oh, no, do you have any cold medicine?"
"Nah. I'll live. I think," Helena laughed and yawned. "So, how's things over there?"

"Uhm, well, over here. I drove back today after I got into a fight with my mom," Hunnigan chuckled awkwardly. Saying she'd ran from home after fighting with her mom felt like such a dumb thing to say at her age.
"Wanna talk about it?" Helena asked. Hunnigan finished chewing and took a sip of cola before leaning to lay back down on the couch, not caring that her pizza would undoubtedly get cold.

"She called me a tall disappointment, which isn't really anything new," she laughed ruefully.
"Well, your mom sounds like a delight," Helena said sarcastically, "I don't get why anyone would ever say that to their kid. I mean, unless the kid's turned out to be a murderer or something worse, then I'd get it, but you certainly haven't done anything to deserve remarks like that."

"Doesn't matter. Sure, I'd prefer if it weren't like this, but it's nothing new. Last time I left like that was a teenager. Nolan and I had rented an apartment here after we got accepted in the same university."
"You guys went to the same school and lived together? I don't think I could've done that with Deborah. I mean, I love her dearly, but she would've driven me insane if I'd had to share an apartment with her," Helena laughed and Hunnigan smiled.

"I studied computers, he studied music, so it's not like we had to share a lot of classes. And, well, I do like hanging out with him."
"Wait, I thought you said he's your little brother, how did you attend school at the same time?" Helena then asked.

"Well, technically, he is my little brother, I'm about half an hour older, he was very reluctant to come out into the world."
"Oh, you're twins! You could've just said that," Helena said and Hunnigan could practically hear her smirk.

"I prefer saying he's my baby brother, I feel like that gives me more of an excuse to be so protective over him."
"So, why did you get into a fight with your mother when you two moved out to go to school?" Helena inquired. Hunnigan switched to the earpiece and put the phone on the coffee table before turning to lay on her side on the couch, hugging one of the decorative pillows against her chest.

"I kept some stuff in my parents' storage unit and I'd told mom I'd clear it out before moving, and I was doing it, but she kept bitching at me how lazy I am for not doing it, all while I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do," Hunnigan began explaining the ridiculous argument. "I'd driven back and forth between D.C. and New York for a couple of days, and I go back for one more trip, and mom's there, again telling me it wasn't done like she thinks I should've done it, so I just lost it and started screaming at her. Like, it was ugly. Literally, I was ugly-crying and screaming. You ever get so angry you just... scream and cry?"

"Yeah, I have some idea what it's like to get ridiculously angry," Helena laughed softly.
"Right," Hunnigan scoffed amusedly. "Well, seeing how much she'd managed to upset me did nothing to deter her from going at me, so I ended up looking like the crazy one who was overreacting."

"Yeah, I had you pegged for one of those people who avoid confrontation until you just explode and everyone thinks you lost your mind because they're not used to you showing such emotions."
"Exactly. I'm guessing you don't have that problem."

"Not at all, I'm very quick with my fury," Helena chuckled.
"I like that about you."

"What!" Helena exclaimed before bursting out laughing.
"I do. It's very honest. Plus, I know immediately if I've upset you. With me, you'd have to keep upsetting me for days before you'd know," Hunnigan said with a smile.

"Maybe, but at least you stop and think things through before doing stupid shit because you're angry," Helena commented and took a deep breath to cough for a moment. When she could breathe normally again, she cleared her throat agitatedly.
"Augh, I hate this crap, my throat is killing me."

"Maybe you shouldn't talk."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Helena asked.

"No! I just don't want you to lose your voice."
"I don't mind losing it talking to you. I like our talks."

"I like them too," Hunnigan said softly. That said, she couldn't think of anything more to talk about. She didn't want to dwell on what had happened with Isabela and she definitely didn't want to keep whining about it to Helena. She felt her stomach grumble and glanced at the pizza still waiting for her on the table.

"Do you have anything to eat?" she asked Helena.
"Um... I don't know, maybe. Probably not."

"Wanna share the rest of my pizza with me? I was really hungry and I ordered an extra large one, but I already know I won't be able to finish it."
"I would love to, but I'm in no condition to drive."

"I could come over?"
"My place is a mess."

"Okay," Hunnigan said, deciding to drop it; it was beginning to sound like Helena was running out of excuses to not see her.
"And I don't want you to have to drive back and forth," Helena then added awkwardly and Hunnigan frowned. Was that her way of saying she wanted her to pick Helena up?

"I've been driving a lot recently, so another trip back and forth wouldn't be a problem, especially since it's not like a four hour drive," she chuckled. "So, if you want me to pick you up, just say the word, because I'd be happy to do it."
"...I would love that."

"Great! I'll be right over," Hunnigan smiled and got up, the apathy-like feeling subsiding as she rather felt excited to spend time with Helena.

Helena could barely taste the pizza now that her nose was beginning to get blocked by the nasty flu which had already torn her throat raw, that was how it felt like at least. She kept coughing and clearing her throat, but the tickle remained and nothing came out, the dry cough becoming more painful than annoying which was what it had been up until she'd fallen asleep. Despite not being able to properly taste the pizza, she did devour four slices of it, growing hungrier with every bite she'd taken of the first slice.

"Oh, man. I shouldn't have eaten so much but... I regret nothing," Helena groaned and Hunnigan laughed.
"Good!"

"Thanks for having me over. And for the pizza."
"Don't worry about it, I'm glad to have the company."

"I really don't wanna wear out my welcome. Or get you sick too with all this coughing," Helena then trailed off awkwardly.
"Don't worry about that either, you're welcome to stay over if you want."

"I don't want to be a bother, you've already looked after me more than you should've needed to."
"I like looking after you. Speaking of, here, drink this," Hunnigan said and took a seat next to Helena on the couch and handed her a mug, steam rising from it.

"What is it?" Helena frowned and peered into the mug.
"Ginger tea with some honey and lemon in it. It'll make you feel better."

"Why are you so nice to me?" Helena narrowed her eyes and took a sip of the tea. Hunnigan laughed heartily and moved to sit cross-legged, tucking her feet underneath her calves to keep them warm.
"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked back, leaning against the arm rest. Helena swallowed the tea and shrugged one shoulder.

"I don't know, I'm not used to people giving two shits about me, so I don't know how to be when someone takes care of me."
"Well, how about you just try to relax and enjoy it?" Hunnigan suggested.

"That's just it," Helena shook her head, "I can't do that. I don't know how, and I feel like I'm bothering you."
"You're not. Frankly, you're doing me a favor because I don't know how to be without having someone to look after, and now that Seeley's with his father, I don't know what to do with all my free time. It gets really quiet and lonely," Hunnigan explained.

"So, what did you do before Seeley was born?" Helena quirked an eyebrow.
"Well, there was Major. And Leon, babysitting him counts as a full-time job at times. Then there was my brother who'd get in trouble and needed looking after."

"What did he do?" Helena asked and sipped the tea. Hunnigan shifted somewhat uncomfortably on the couch as she considered what to say about it.
"He's... the sensitive type who used to think he can't make it through life without some crutches. Long story short, I've put him through rehab three times."

"Oh. Poor boy," Helena said and Hunnigan's eyebrows rose at that. "What? I'm a sympathetic person, no need to look so surprised!"
"Sorry, but you did surprise me," Hunnigan laughed softly.

"Well, I get it tho."
"Anyway... my point is, taking care of others is what I do best, so I don't mind."

"Who takes care of you?"
"I do. You know the saying, there are flowers and there are gardeners. I'm a gardener," Hunnigan shrugged.

"Yay, I get to be a flower," Helena batted her eyelashes and Hunnigan snorted.

The conversation wound down as they both turned their attention to the Futurama -marathon on TV, and after a while, Hunnigan noticed Helena had drifted off to sleep. She switched the TV off, retrieved an extra blanket from the closet and draped it over Helena.

"Sleep well," she smiled, turned the lights out and went to the bedroom. It was barely nine thirty in the evening, a little too early for Hunnigan to get to sleep, but she figured she might as well go to bed too.

What to do, she mused internally before deciding to continue reading the book she'd left open on the nightstand. Or I could just masturbate, that was the original plan, she then thought, her movement to reach for the book interrupted before she picked it up, and instead settled to lay back down on the bed.

She rarely had a chance to masturbate because when Seeley was at home, he had the tendency to enter rooms without announcing himself and if she locked the door, he very loudly made it clear he didn't approve of such action. Doing it before going to sleep was something she'd attempted often, but considering her work days could easily stretch out to be twelve hours long and exhausting, she almost always fell asleep after barely getting started. Rushing through it while Seeley was in his room taking a nap wasn't ideal either because she knew herself and she knew she'd need at least and hour of peace and quiet, and she wouldn't have that, she'd be too paranoid listening for signs of Seeley waking up to be able to clear her mind and truly enjoy herself. Not to mention the risk of him walking in on her was too much.

It was bad enough he'd gone digging in her drawers and he'd discovered her Ben Wa balls and she'd had to come up with something to tell him when he'd asked what they were (she'd felt rather proud of having quickly come up with a little white lie as she'd told him they were Christmas tree decorations, but she'd grown to regret it when he'd insisted hanging them on the tree this year), she certainly wouldn't want to deal with the questions he'd have if he walked in on her masturbating.

Besides, I don't even have anything to think about during, she then sighed internally. She knew it was utterly ridiculous, but she didn't feel comfortable thinking about Major while touching herself, not when she knew he was seeing someone else. She doubted he'd care if he knew, on the contrary, he'd probably be smug about it. Then again, she admitted, he had earned the right to be smug, he knew how to manipulate her body until she was shaking at the heights of ecstasy.

No, not going there, she scoffed internally at herself, but her right hand happily ignored it, already resting on her abdomen, stroking her skin. Not to mention Helena's here, I don't want her to walk in on me either. That said... I do wonder what she... okay, no, stop it, she blew out a breath.

But she did wonder what it would feel like. What her chest pressed to Helena's would feel like; she hadn't felt another woman's breasts against her own before. She wondered what Helena's breath would taste like, how would her hands feel on Hunnigan's skin, what it would be like to kiss her. She looked like a good kisser, which was something Hunnigan couldn't say about her ex-husband. For all the praise she was willing to give, this was something he'd been terrible at. His idea of kissing was to pucker his lips and just sort of peck at hers, it was very awkward most of the time.

Hunnigan turned to lay on her stomach, her right arm tucked between her hips and the mattress, she moved her hand between her legs, placing her fingers on her pussy and gently massaging the flesh. She already had some idea of what Helena's skin against her own would feel like, she'd gotten a decent preview during that night they'd spent in the sleeping bag together. And if she was honest about it, she did have to admit she'd been on the verge of kissing Helena the morning after when they'd been in the middle of that silly staring competition she'd challenged Helena to.

Hunnigan didn't think she would've gone through with it and acted on the thought had Shepard not interrupted them when he had, but she'd seriously considered just pressing her lips onto Helena's. She hadn't thought back on it, not really, but now... it was an exciting thought.

Oh, what the hell, she mentally shrugged and gave into the fantasy.