Episode Seven: You Realise of Course That This Means War?
In Bugs' absence, Daffy found the mental strength to get back into shape. He sat down at the master controls.
Daffy Duck gazed at the screens and now, being able to see perfectly well he hit the exact button he needed to hit. "So this is how it ends." He listened to the merrily we roll along tune begin to play in its extended uncut version.
Too many frowns can change the brightest disposition,
As sure as clouds can darken the sol.
Yet every joy in life has been our one ambition,
And that's how we intend to go on!
Merrily we roll along, my honey and me,
Verily there's no one half as happy as we.
"I can't!" With a jolt, Daffy jammed his finger on the scratch record button and jumped up from the chair. "This isn't over yet, you ... undead unbunny!" He glared over at the monitor of Bugs climbing out of his limo car and back into his cartoon palace.
"Because I shall not be defeated; I shall rise triumphant for I ..." Daffy spun around to change clothes ... "Am Daffodil Duck!" Daffy shrugged in a new yellow outfit with a yellow overhanging collar and cape. "Hey, someone's gotta have the sunny disposition around this place." He laughed.
"Now, there's just the little clause of 'Bugs Bunny has to win' to dodge." Daffy sat down on the control chair. "Logic-logic-logic. Think, Daffy, think."
Daffy looked up at the colourful End Credit emblem.
"This is how we got into this mess." He sighed. "My friend Bugs: A cross between a rabbit and a Vulcan." Daffy sniggered quietly. "Oh, it's always so tempting to do something dastardly when I'm sitting in this chair." He tried to rub the wicked idea out of his head. "He knows what this chair does to me!" Daffy exclaimed, "That's why he left me in here; that despicable 'edutainment' rabbit. But I'm not going to crack this time ... edutainment." He shook his head. "One of those: 'it sounded like a good idea at the time but I didn't read the fine print' ideas."
Daffy sank back. "Logic says: Bugs has to win. Logic says duck luck won't let me win unless it's really important." Daffy looked back up at the concentric circles, tapping his fingers on the console.
"Here for each other; how can we go wrong?"
"Yeah, alright, so it's my job to see he doesn't go wrong." Daffy shook his head. "So let's do a checklist. Chasing books? That is so-oo last century! It's not even worthy of my attention." Daffy snorted and mentally crossed it off the list, "but now he wants to update everything. But I don't want to lose my tunes. But all he's talked about is plot. But the plots are screwy anyway. But he's updating all the sets. But they're falling apart anyway."
Daffy stared at the concentric circles. "We're on different pages." A smile crept onto his features. "I don't care what Bugs wants."
"So Bugs wins for all I care!"
"And Bugs isn't on my page; he doesn't realise what I'm arguing about. So I just have to trick him into agreeing with me."
"And then I'll win."
"Therefore we each win our respective pages. Woo-hoo!"
Daffy flexed his fingers, smiling at The End on the screen in front of him. His grin broadened and he started programming what generations of children to come could quite veritably call a masterpiece. They would, so long as he didn't own up to it.
"He wants Edutainment." Daffy sat back, smiling at the big green button that said 'save changes'. He pressed the button and watched the program declare it had saved.
"This is one Edutainment that'll knock that dizzy hare back into last week's headspace!" Daffy cackled and shut down the programmer application. "Daffy Duck: hero triumphant!" He proclaimed to himself, "Has a nice ring to it. Two words, not one, both D's capitalized! Please stand in an orderly line for autographs. Thank you, thank you, yes, I'd like to thank all the little people." He bowed, "I know; I'm fabulous. Next!"
Daffy collapsed into the master control chair after a fit of cackling. "Oh, what height's we'll hit." He sighed to himself.
"On with the show this is it."
Finally, Daffy yawned and stood up with a stretch. Then he spun around back into his non-canary yellow self and stepped to the door. Daffy looked back at the room and smiled at The End emblem still on the centre screen.
"Tomorrow I will win the day." Daffy nodded respectfully at the room before he shut the door behind him.
An exhausted Daffy trudged on home to his cottage. He paused in his passage to admire the giant podium on the green and the silent seventy-two piece orchestral set complete with acoustic aiding rainbow backdrop. Then he yawned again and dragged himself the last few steps back to his home on the pond side.
The moment Daffy Duck hit the pillow everything went peacefully black.