Chapter 12:
A Scandalous Party
Part 2
Warning: A disappointing lack of sex in the following chapter, despite numerous opportunities for Lord Dannyl.
Once they reached the garden, Bel Bella Swan led the magician to a bench behind a large bush. She carefully adjusted her new dress designer dress (which was shaped like a swan, to remind her guests of her surname) so that the neckline went alarmingly low. Dannyl couldn't help but wonder how she even fitted into the dress at all; it looked about two sizes too small.
Battering her eyelashes, she said suggestively, "My word Ambassador, you certainly are as tall as everyone says you are! I do hope that's the only rumour about you that's true. Incidentally, we Elynes have a saying about tall magicians…"
Dannyl, who was unused to talking to women, muttered incoherently. He hoped this woman wasn't about to stab him in the leg like Sonea had done. Women could be so evil.
The Bel didn't really care about Dannyl's lack of conversing skills. She just wanted to get him into bed, so she could tell everyone she had slept with a magician, and see if the rumours about tall magicians were true. She decided this could be a quick, easy seduction.
"So, Ambassador… what are you wearing under your robes?" She asked in a low, provocative tone, as she ran her sharp-nailed finger down his chest.
"OH MY GOD! You're not the fashion police, are you?" Dannyl exclaimed worriedly. "I swear I didn't know it was illegal to wear non-matching underclothes!"
Bella rolled her eyes, but tried to keep her voice sexy. She started stroking his leg with one hand, while the other toyed with his hair. "I don't care what colour your pants are… I'm sure it won't matter once they're on my bedroom floor."
Dannyl was completely terrified by now, and swatted her wandering hands away from him. "What in the Allied Lands are you talking about?"
The Bel finally gave up her subtle flirting, and said impatiently, "Just take off your trousers and I'll show you."
The magician was glad Rothen had taught him how to deal with unwanted advances. He squirted the creepy woman with pepper spray, and yelled out as he ran back inside, "That'll teach you for trying to mess with Lord Dannyl! Go steal another man's virginity, you predatory old hag!"
When Dannyl entered the main party room again, he was dismayed to find that almost everyone was drunk. This was impressive because the party had only started half an hour ago. What the hell are these people drinking?
Things were getting scary too; couples were openly doing stuff that should be kept private – like kissing and holding hands. Dannyl shuddered; it was all making him feel very uncomfortable. More than once a hand "accidentally" brushed over him, and it wasn't only ladies who were the culprits.
Eventually the magician found Tayend. He was cheerfully brandishing a long, shiny sword. Velend was huddled in the corner crying. He claimed tearfully that Tayend had stolen his sword, and swore he would never talk to the horrible scholar again. When Tayend caught sight of Dannyl, he grinned drunkenly, threw the sword out the window, and ambled over to him.
"Dannyl, my dear friend! How absolutely splendid it is to see you! You're looking magnificent, may I add," The Elyne winked playfully. "Are you having fun?"
Dannyl shook his head in distress. "No, not really. I nearly got raped by the hostess."
Tayend looked sympathetic. "Don't worry, she does that to almost every man she meets. If you read the party invitations she sent out, she puts in small writing at the end that she cannot be held accountable for her wild sex drive."
The magician couldn't think of anything to say in reply. He glanced over to where Tayend's friends were fooling around in the wine fountain with some shirtless, glittery acrobats. Amused, Dannyl asked, "Have any pleasant young men taken your interest?"
Tayend bit his lip, as if considering how much information to share. "Well… there is this amazing guy, but I don't know if he's interested in me."
"What does he look like?"
The scholar threw all caution to the wind. "He's really tall, wears purple robes, and usually has a look of polite puzzlement on his handsome face."
A look of polite puzzlement crossed Dannyl's handsome face. "I didn't know there were other magicians at this party!"
Tayend sighed wearily, and gave up. "There aren't. Anyway, my friends and I are going to have a wine fight out in the courtyard. You wanna join us?" Tantalizing thoughts of Dannyl soaking wet filled the scholar's mind, and he began to imagine how the evening could play out: After the wine fight, Tayend would politely invite the magician back to his place; where he would slowly undress him, under the pretence of taking off his wet clothes to dry them. Then he would push Dannyl onto his luxurious bed and give him a wild night of passion that the magician would never forget.
But much to the scholar's *and fangirls'* dismay, Dannyl was intent on leaving the party as soon as possible. After making the excuse that it was well past his bedtime and Errand would be getting worried, Dannyl waved goodbye to Tayend and strode hastily through the crowded room. On his way out, he swiped a couple of bottles of wine and hid them under his robes. I'd like to see an Elyne courtier try that! He thought smugly to himself.
But as Lord Dannyl chuckled to himself; his mind full of innocent mischief, he was completely unaware he had just overlooked his handsome friend's advances, and thus missed out on what would have been the best night of his life.
Tayend, meanwhile, apologised to Velend, and made him dress up as Dannyl again for the night.
Sorry if the ending's awful, I kept changing it and I don't think I'll ever be happy with it. I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter overall :D
And I never dreamed I'd reach the 100 reviews mark with this parody, so thank you all so much for your lovely feedback and taking the time to assure me I'm not completely crazy writing all of this ;D