Chapter 13
Theodore
16 Years Ago…
"Grandma and Grandpa have been dying to see you too, Teddy."
At the sound of my name, my eyes drift to the front of the car and lock onto my mothers, looking back at me with an amused expression. One elbow sits on the center console between the driver and passenger seat, and the leather makes a squeaking sound when she leans onto it.
"I'm dying to see them too." I assure as I match her wide smile.
"Not more than I am!" Phoebe pouts from my right as she squeezes her huge brown teddy bear between her arms. I chuckle at the small, snow white stuffed toy as she holds on for dear life even in this confined space where there's no chance of losing it. I won it for her at the carnival a few months ago, and since then she refuses to part with it. I'm pretty sure she even takes it into the bathtub with her.
"It's not a contest, Feebs." Dad admonishes from the driver's seat without taking his gaze off the zipping road. Out of my window, I see trees mend into buildings, then back into trees again as he get closer to the Everpoint bridge. I anticipate the sight of clear, blue water as the suspended contraption whisks us across the long, seemingly endless path, packed with hundreds of other cars going about their normal, Friday evening day.
"Your father is right." Mom concurs.
"Everything is a contest with her." I sigh.
"Daddy! Teddy bear is making fun of me!"
"I am not…"
Dad's eyes meet mine in the rearview for the briefest of seconds. "Be nice to your sister Theodore."
I roll my eyes. "She's such a drama queen."
"She gets that from your father." Mom chuckles, then quickly bites her lip when she turns her gaze to dad.
I look at my baby sister and she ever so discreetly sticks her tiny little tongue out at me. "Very mature." I whisper. Even at the age of eight she was a walking, talking firecracker. She clings to me like a leech most of the time, and if she doesn't see me or hear from me more than a few hours, she'll throw a fit. I never imagined that having a younger sibling would be this much effort, but honestly—I wouldn't trade her for anything in the whole world.
I reach over and ruffle her nicely done hair until it's all frizzy. Instead of getting angry she smiles a really big, nearly toothless smile and her laugh warms my heart. She buries her little nose into the top of her teddy bears head to quiet her little giggles.
Not even ten minutes later and we're pulling up to my grandparent's home in Bellevue. Dad is the first to hop out of the car and he jogs around the car to the trunk.
"Phoebe, who is that?" Mom asks as she directs Phoebe's attention out the rolled down window. Grandma is already heading down the driveway towards the car.
"Granny!" Phoebe squeals before unbuckling her seatbelt and practically combat diving out of the car. She sprints over to grandma and wraps her arms around her midsection.
From inside the car, I can't hear what they're talking about, but from the look on Grandma's loving face, she's happy to see my little sister.
"Go say hello to your Grandmother, Teddy." Mother admonishes.
I hop out of the car, slumping my backpack over my shoulders before sauntering up the driveway.
Grandma's arms are already spread open for me as I approach her. "How's my big boy doing?"
"Misunderstood." I grumble.
Grandma cocks an eyebrow down at me. "That so?"
"Someone's a little testy because we pulled him away from his PlayStation in the middle of a session." My father pipes in. He comes up beside us and places my and Phoebe's suitcase on the gravelly walkway before pulling Grandma into a hug. "Hi Mom." He smiles.
Mother comes up behind me, pulling my back to her front and squeezing me into her. "Don't be condescending with your Grandma, Teddy."
I sigh deeply, wondering why I was being lectured so much today. "Sorry…"
"Where's Grandpa?" Phoebe whines as she glances around the empty front lawn, as if he's hiding in one of the bushes that line the sidewalk.
"He's still at work pumpkin, but should be home shortly." Grandma explained.
"Grace, I finally got around to reading that book you recommended to me…" Mother began, and I somehow managed to wiggle out of her grasp, grabbed my suitcase and began towards the house.
"Not even a goodbye?" Father calls out. I turn around swiftly and raise my arm, waving at him.
"Bye." I said unenthusiastically.
I was rewarded with a brief smile and a head shake before he returned his attention to Grandma. It wasn't like my father to look for a farewell after dropping us off at grandma and grandpa's house. He usually always came in for a brief hug, and then our mother, a more strenuous, drawn out hug—then they'd go. Didn't bother me much, though…my mother and father were smothering, yes, but they were the good kind of smothering. There was never too much or too little of it.
Weekends at our Grandparents house was becoming the norm for me, or at least one less thing I had to complain about regarding my boring life. However this week, it's Spring break, so Phoebe and I will be here until next Sunday. That means a full week of staring out the window during the foggy nights, listening to my grandparent's endless stories in the den while they stuff me full of snacks, and an impending attempt at weening my obsessive little sister off of cookies and gummy bears when we finally return home.
Mostly, while I'm here I play video games all day and watch all the Lord of the Rings movies out of order. Then, Star Wars—out of order, of course—after that was a written word marathon…comic books until my eyes grew sore and begged me to stop. Right now, I'm halfway through Spiderman episode #115. Gwen Stacy is in a pickle, and she may even be on the verge of obtaining super powers…I'm pegging on it.
I was so close to the end of the chapter this morning before Mrs. Valentine, my English teacher caught me reading under my desk during one of her classes about how important feelings are. I felt like I was listening to a guidance counselor attempting to imbed self-worth into a delinquent. 3rd grade was a maze for me, a maze I could never hope to navigate. I miss the days where all that was expected of me was being able to write my name in cursive and count to 100.
Yeah, I'm into the nerdy stuff, and I don't really talk to anyone about it. My classmates are just that…my classmates. I don't have any friends, though everyone my age seems to be bizarrely interested in making friends with me. My older cousin Ava said it's because I'm 'A Grey', but I don't know what that means. Plus, Ava is a bit of a manipulator…she's loud and scary. I told her this one day, mentioning how 'new' people make me uncomfortable, and was rewarded with a brief but sticky statement.
"Don't let them get too close Teddy, they're all just after your inheritance." Ava grumbles menacingly from atop the treehouse in her backyard. She was always up there. That day had been especially weird, what with all the parental lectures about talking to strangers and Uncle Elliot arguing with my Dad about politics and the like. I looked up at my big cousin with boredom, wondering how she manages to be so incoherent and profound simultaneously.
Sure I'll eat lunch with whoever asks, smile and make conversation—piece of cake, but usually I prefer to keep to myself. And surprisingly enough, it's not because of her warning, I just choose to be aloof.
Grandma and Grandpa have a big house, and it's filled with things to do. Phoebe especially likes jumping around in the backyard on the tennis court. The ground is really spongy, and it has a lot of spring to it, so she tends to spend hours out there running around, playing make-believe.
But it's not the house that keeps me entertained on the long weekends I spend cooped up here with my grandparents and their stories, nope—it's what's a few miles down the valley that dips into the Sound where this old house is located atop. Behind the billowing trees that eclipse the sun every morning before bursting over the horizon, there's a sea of woodland landscape that surrounds the neighborhood.
I lug my suitcase up the stairs to my bedroom, my dad's old bedroom when he lived here. I've revamped it though, and it's mostly filled with all of my stuff with hints of his. I close the door behind me, going over to the radio on my dresser I turn the sound up to a reasonable volume before gathering everything I'll need.
If I sneak out now, Grandma will be least likely to notice. She'll be way too busy with Phoebe to even notice how 'quiet' I am. I load my backpack with all the necessary amenities before opening the door and closing it behind me. I creep down the stairs, careful not to make too much noise, hearing Phoebe and Grandma in the living room laughing about something while the television runs. Guess mom and dad already left—not much reason for them to stay anyway. My grandparents know that I like to be holed up in my room the whole weekend, so they rarely ever come bother me, and I'm never usually out of the house very long, so they don't notice that I'm gone.
I tiptoe to the backdoor before opening and pulling it shut behind me. Balor forest isn't far at all, only a 5 minute walk from the house.
Last weekend, I saw this awesome lizard that I failed to capture. It was bright orange with spots all down its back. My goal this week? Find and catch it this time.
The cedar trees tower over my head as I approach the woods. The dark brown chips beneath my feet crunch with every step I take. No signs, no maps, no fences lining the entrance of the Forest, this is the outskirts of it after all—no one comes this way.
There's a creek just beyond the entrance of the forest, that's where I saw the lizard last time. Maybe I should try checking there first. If not, I can always try the river, though it's deeper in the forest that the creek, a way longer walk.
Balor Forest is mostly a tourist attraction now-a-days, but I just so happen to be on the edge of the forest where there are no tourist buses or hikers, which is both unfortunate and great. Less people, more alone time—kind of dangerous, but I'm not stupid. I can handle myself.
I jump down the canopy of rocks to reach the basin of the creek, basking in the sound of the hissing water beneath my feet and I scan the greenish blue water. I crouch down at the edge and dip my hand into the water, checking for the temperature. It's cold—really cold. Which means that there probably won't be a lot of lizards here today.
Lizards are cold-blooded, so naturally, they like being where it's hot. Looks like I'll have to try the river. But if the creek is cold, the river is most likely freezing. Not a lot of luck there. I wipe my hands on my shorts and groan loudly.
The hike to the river is as expected…long, but I'm there in a little under ten minutes as I keep to the poorly drawn out path.
It's loud…that familiar swishing sound could be heard from over a mile away, but it's calming. I stand at the cliff overlooking the huge river that pours into the lake beneath it, searching every possible direction for my payout. The water is so clear that I can see the rocks undulating across the bed of the river, see fishes plopping and sliding across the rushing water.
Please tell me that I don't have to climb all the way down there.
The rocks under my sneakered feet are mossy and hot, telling me that there's a very good chance that the river might be warm. And where there's warmth…there are reptiles.
I scratch my low cut hair as I look for possible alternatives to going down there.
You could jump.
Yeah right. That's a really big fall, and I mean a really big one, and the water isn't deep enough either. Plus, I've got my cellphone on me.
Scale the wall.
Again, not interested in falling to my death.
Go all the way around the forest and climb down like the tourist do.
That would take hours, and I've got about one hour before my grandma tells me to come downstairs for dinner. In fact, probably less than an hour considering the long walk it will take to get back.
"Are you an angel?"
I turn around so quickly that I nearly stumble backwards. What greets me is something so strange and alien-like that it causes me to almost slip and fall over the cliff and into the river below. The pebbles at my feet clack and tumble down the wall of the trench, echoing through the huge labyrinth of pine trees that form around it.
It was almost like it materialized behind me from nothing. I didn't hear footsteps, breathing, not a sound. Just the quiet of the forest, some birds chirping, the occasional twig breaking from squirrels hurrying up trees, and the cicadas as they cried in the far, far distance.
For a brief moment I thought that quite possibly someone's head was housing a flame, that was until I deduced how incredibly unlikely that was. It was close enough though, that hair—red hair—so red. It really does look like fire. The subtle wind even blew at it so that it seemed to dance in that similar affectation. Short and wild with pine needles and pieces of leaves all throughout it, it looked like a bird had begun building its nest there.
Then the eyes, eyes so green and bright that they made the leaves on the trees look brown even in the middle of Spring by comparison. I blinked when she did, and she tilted her head at me as she stood there, a couple of steps away with a heap of branches tucked in her arms.
"Well are you or aren't you?" She pressed.
I gave her a once-over, unsure about how to respond. "I don't understand the question." I shrugged.
Her tiny little nose crinkled before she spoke again. "You don't look like a human. You look like an angel. Are you?"
My family isn't very religious, so I don't know a whole lot about angels and stuff, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not one.
Still didn't completely understand what she meant, though. "Pretty sure that I'm not an angel."
"Oh." She said simply, her voice was so soft and small that I could barely hear her over the rushing water below. Her clothes were all dirty with mud and wood chips and grass stains from the forest floor. She wore a pair of tattered red shorts; her legs skinny and covered in scabs from where she's probably fallen down or rubbed up against something hard and gravelly. I cringed at the scrapes on her knees. She looked like a feral child, and if I hadn't heard her speak just then I'd assume she was one.
"Are you an alien?" She tried.
To be completely honest, she looked more like the alien here between us. I've never seen anyone with hair as red as hers before, and her skin was so pale that she looked like a ghost.
"Last time I checked, I was a person." I said earnestly, nodding my assurance.
"Well if you were an alien, would you say it?" She asked.
My eyes drifted as I considered. "That would depend on if my alien overlord deems it appropriate."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "So how do I know if you're lying or not?"
I shrugged. "You don't."
"Touché." She said swiftly. Then she turned, and walked away without another word with all of her branches and sticks in hand.
That was weird.
I don't know what's more off putting, the fact that she thought I wasn't a human being, or the fact that she used the word 'touché' as a rebuttal. Most kids my age don't even know what that word is, and she definitely looked to be my age.
I've never seen that girl before. There's no way I'd forget someone that weird. Where did she even come from? I glanced in the direction that she'd just disappeared from, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.
What if she's the alien? Trippy.
Shaking off the strange encounter, I began circling the perimeter of the river. The air was murky and hot, which was more than enough motivation to keep looking, but I hadn't the slightest clue where the heck these lizards could be. Last time, I found it sitting on a rock in the creek near the back of the forest, but today it was completely empty, void of all signs of life.
The creek was small, so when it got cold, it became unbearable for most creatures to live in and survive. I was beginning to think that my effort was in vain after another twenty minutes of blinding searching for something that may or may not even be here.
After another hour filled with emptiness and irritation, I finally decide to head home and come back tomorrow. However, not without grabbing a few cool looking rocks and stuffing them in my bag.
xxx
"Hey!" Someone yelled.
I recognize that voice, turn around, and am met with nothing. I stop in my tracks along the path, looking all around. The forest is desolate, there isn't even a single bird. I see no one, and now I hear nothing again, the echo from that familiar voice has faded beyond the hollow trees like ripples in a pond. I'm halfway to the river again, taking the same path that I did yesterday. The creek was empty, once again—why do I even bother? I've considered going all the way around the forest to get to the lake, that's where I assumed I'd find the lizards.
I clutch the straps of my backpack tightly, my eyes still searching in every direction. Did I imagine it?
"Up here!" It comes again, blowing that theory away.
Immediately, my head flies up and I lock eyes with that bizarre looking ghostly creature, hair still fiery, like autumn…like the wild.
She's dangling from one of these gigantic pine trees like a chimpanzee, pulls herself up and begins to climb down to one of the lower branches, then perches herself onto it with ease. She swings her feet as she stares down at me with curiosity etching those small, delicate features.
"How the heck did you get up there?" I asked.
"I climbed up the trunk."
"You don't say." She makes it sound like something that just anyone can do. "Are you a monkey?"
"Possibly in a past life, yes."
"Well, good luck with being half person, half monkey then…" I rolled my eyes, turning to walk away.
"What are you doing out here?" She asked, halting me with her mellow lull.
I turned around and craned my neck to look up at her again. "Didn't your parents teach you never to talk to strangers?"
"Didn't your parents teach you never to go wandering around in a forest all by yourself?" She deadpanned.
Okay…that made me snicker a little bit. But couldn't that also be applied to her, too? "Touché." I saluted.
"So, are you lost again?"
I felt my eyebrows scrunch together. "I never get lost. And even if I did, what are the odds I would do it two days in a row?"
She shrugged before leaning back against the trunk. "No one comes out here unless they're lost. I can always show you the way back." Is she supposed to be a forest elf? She certainly looks like one. In fact, she could easily pass for Tauriel from Lord of the Rings. That is if Tauriel was extremely tiny and covered with dirt.
I ignored her offer. "Do you live in this forest or something?"
"Pretty much." She nodded.
"How come I've never seen you before yesterday, then?" I've been in and out of this forest like, a lot—and I've never ran into another person before.
"I could ask you the same question…"
Wow, this kid is intense. "I asked you first."
She seemed to consider that, like it was so hard to ponder over. "My mommy likes to spend time in the tourist cabin at the west entrance, but she only just started to last week." She pointed to what I'm assuming was the west, then she redirected that finger at me. "Your turn."
"My grandparent's live a few miles that way." Now, it was my turn to point, and I did so in the direction that I came from. "I only visit them on the weekends, though."
She nodded her head with understanding. "Where are you from?"
"Washington Park."
"Is that before or after Queen Anne?" She asked.
I'm guessing she's from Queen Anne. "After."
"I see. So what are you doing out here, angel boy from Washington Park?"
I sighed. "Why do you keep calling me an angel?"
She pointed at me again. "You're clothes are really clean, your eyes look like the color of the sky, your face is really pretty—like an angel."
That is probably the strangest compliment I've even gotten before. "Thanks…I guess?" I scratched my head, my eyes finding the ground where my white, spotless sneakers sat on my feet. I guess my clothes are kind of clean most of the time. It's actually amazing considering how much time I spend out here. I should probably be as dirty as she is that this point. "I'm just…looking for reptiles."
Her eyes seemed to glitter at that statement. "What kinds of reptiles? Frogs? Snakes?"
I rubbed the back of my neck tiredly. "Lizards. Well—a specific lizard…It's orange, with dark spots down its back."
"Notophthalmus viridescens."
"Noto…what—who?" I stammered incredulously. What did she just say? She repeated herself for me, but it didn't make any more sense than it did the first time. "What the heck is a notofalamus?" I grumbled.
She giggled with that tiny voice her hers. "Eastern newt. It's a part of the Urodela order, and it's a salamander…not a lizard. Salamanders are amphibians, lizards are reptiles. Not the same thing." She held both hands out to illustrate their differences, emphasize how they're in two completely different categories.
I blinked once, completely speechless. I have…no idea what she's talking about. "I see."
"Yep."
I scratched my head for what felt like the hundredth time today. "How old are you?"
"I'm nine." She said with a big, toothless smile. Seriously, both of her front two veneers were missing, and she was also missing two from her bottom row as well. "If you want, I can take you to where all the amphibians are." She pointed somewhere behind her. "Most of them hang out by the river the empties into the lake."
I shook my head. "It takes forever to get down there, though."
"Forever if you go all the way around, but I know a shortcut." She said with pride in her voice.
"Okay…" I said flatly, watching with unwarranted concern as she hastily scaled down the tree like she's done it a million times before.
She landed smoothly on her feet in front of me, and nudged her head to the side. "This way."
Against my better judgement, I followed loosely behind her, silently wondering how she manages to navigate around this place after only being here for less than a week. But after mounting terrain like a professional, climbing over enormous trenches and hopping across small ponds, I hear the sound of rushing water once again, and as she pulls aside a huge pocket of mossy tree branches for me, the river comes into view. I can see the waterfall that pours into the lake below it, it was so close.
"Whoa…You weren't kidding about a shortcut were you?" It only took about ten minutes to get down here, I know because I was checking my phone the entire time. I stand at the edge of the river and look down into the whisking tides.
"You probably won't see the species you're looking for by the way." She came up beside me and fixed her gaze where mine was, then glanced at me. "They're in their breeding season—all of them have gone to the bottom of the lake to find mates." She pointed at the lake to our right and I followed her eyes to it.
I looked at her again. "Are you a super genius like those kids on TV or something?" I asked.
Her eyes widened. "I don't think I'm a genius." Then, she looked down, seemingly chastened. "Not even close."
The bright haired girl turned away and began to jump across the stones that led to the other side of the river. I followed close behind, and when she pointed at a spot in the water, I crouched down beside her. "Those are Notophthalmus perstriatus, very closely related to the viridescens."
I watched the swarm of salamanders glide through the water and occasionally jump to the surface like trout. They looked really similar to the kind I was looking for, orange, only with stripes instead of spots. One in particular was perched on rock very close to us and I reached out to catch it.
The girl surprised me when she wrapped her tiny hands around my arm and pulled it back to my side. "What?"
She crinkled her nose again. "It's skin is kind of…very poisonous. Not best to grab it with your bare hands."
"Why do you know so much about these things?" I asked, throwing a disturbed look her way.
"I read a lot." She muttered, then peeked over at me through her eyelashes. "I want to be a doctor, or a zoologist…not sure which yet."
"Zoologists can be doctors. It depends on how long you go to school." I explained.
She shot an amused expression my way. "True, true. What do you want to be?"
I rolled my eyes…hard. "My dad wants me to work for him when I'm older. So I'll probably do—"
"I didn't ask what your dad wants you to do…" She said nastily, as if she fully and completely understands how I feel. "My question was what do you want to do."
I stared into her steady green eyes, which I suddenly noticed from this close of a distance, have a lot more blue in them than I thought…a really weird color. Her face was also flooded with freckles, and they reached all the way down to her neck and disappeared into the hem of her Elmo T-shirt.
"I want to be a director."
Her expression changed to one of pure fascination. "Like for movies?"
I nodded once, then waited for the criticism. It never came, though.
"Wow, that's so cool…like Steven Spielberg."
I cleared my throat. "George Lucas actually—"
She made a funny face. "Who's that?"
Why I felt entirely comfortable with speaking to this strange person, I will never understand, but for some reason she made me feel…calm. Maybe it was the river, actually…don't know. However I was sharing something with her that I've never told anyone before—not even my little sister who I was closest with.
"George Lucas created Star Wars…" I explained. "He's kind of my idol. I want to make the next big sci-fi adventure series, like he did."
"Star Wars…" She pondered, and I could practically see the tiny little gears grinding in her head as she did. "I don't know what that is…"
Oh boy…!
I could hardly contain my excitement, "It's awesome is what it is!"
She jump when my voice raised. "Never heard of it…"
"You have to watch all them, well the first three—everything after that is just playful banter. Kind of fell off at The Clone Wars, and was destroyed at The Phantom Menace. Honestly, I thought that Empire Strikes Back was the best, hands down, but my little cousin Benny is crazy about A New Hope, he says that it's the best but then again he's an idiot. After all, Empire is where we finally get a better look at Vader and his real power, where he goes in and force chokes all the—"
"Whoa! Slow down, dude! You're killing my earholes! That is what my daddy calls information overload." She whined.
I shook my head. "You just have to see them. I can bring my laptop tomorrow and show you—if you want." I added on at the end, looking at her…suddenly nervous for some reason.
"Okay, sure." She smiled huge, those gaps in her teeth showing again.
I don't know why, but before I could even process it, I was already smiling back her. She was kind of…really adorable. Something about her was almost cartoonish.
"I'm Theodore…my name I mean…is Theodore."
She stood and extended her hand to me like a grown up. "Captain Ziggy—nice to meet you."
I blinked once, still crouched, looking up at her without a clue in the world. "What?"
Her sudden burst of laughter made me laugh as well. It was infectious. "My name is Ziggy."
I stood and took her hand, shaking it. "That's a weird name, is it your real one?"
"Nickname," She assured. "My real name is Jillian…after my great grandmother. Everyone calls me Ziggy. My big sister gave it to me from a comic strip that she really likes."
"I'll just call you Jillian. Ziggy sounds weird."
She shrugged, seemingly unaffected by my words. "Suit yourself…want to go find snakes? I know which ones aren't venomous. They're really fun to hold, they squirm around a lot."
This kid is also a daredevil. "Wow, you're weird." I grumbled. "Sure, let's go."
xxx
The next day, I was back in the forest again, wandering around aimlessly.
Looking for her.
I really had no other reason to be out today, but I'm so excited to introduce someone to Star Wars that I can barely contain it. It took me an hour of satisfying my grandparent's ego's before they finally left me alone. And after spending all day with them at Seattle Center, bored and wanting to just go home, I had to tame the storm that is their food stuffing. Phoebe had a blast, though, and with her happy little jitters as we ran all over town doing whatever she wanted, I concluded that it was well worth it. My baby sister is a true angel. There's nothing more pure in this whole world.
Now, after finally getting the opportunity to squeeze out of the house, just barely under my grandfather's nose who was in the backyard playing tennis with Phoebe, I made it to the forest.
And Jillian is nowhere to be found.
It only just now occurred to me how big this forest is, but I've already ran into her twice so far which is beyond a coincidence. I didn't think it would be this difficult to find her though. However after a good thirty minutes of going in circles, back tracking to all of the places I've run into her before, I resigned to the fact that she may not be out today.
That resignation didn't last too long though, because after another few minutes of blindly searching along the trail deep, deep in the woods, I saw her.
She was standing outside of a poorly built log structure that looked like it's seen way better days. It was old and looked haunted, but she seemed to be unfazed by the ominousness that lingered around the small, creepy cabin.
"This your house?" I asked as I came up beside her.
"Funny." Was all she offered without even looking at me. She bent over and picked up the bundle of sticks at her feet and brought them up to the side of the log wall, stuffing them into one of the broken off, exposed crevices. "This is one of the old campsites from years ago. No one uses it anymore, so they stopped maintaining it." She explained as she grabbed more sticks and used them to patch up open areas near the ground, pushing them forcefully so that they'd stay in place.
"You ever seen that movie Cabin in the Woods?" I deadpanned.
She finally turned around and looked at me, brushing her palms together to rid them of the dirt. "You really watch a lot of movies, don't you?"
I feigned a deep thinking expression. "I've seen over…four hundred so far? I want to see at least five thousand before I die."
She grinned and rolled her eyes. "I've never seen that movie, but I'm guessing that it doesn't have a happy ending from the name."
"Yeah, they all die. So this is what you were doing with all of those sticks the other day? Patching up an old tree house?"
"It's not just any old treehouse. It's my ship, and I'm the Captain!"
Ah, so that's what she meant by calling herself that yesterday. "Well captain, your first mate is reporting for duty—"
"My first order!" She squeaked, pointing at me with the conviction of a grave robber on her face. "We shall watch your star movies, and then we shall man the fort from intruders! We shall sail out onto the unforgiving treacherous seas and slay the beasts that lie within the murky deep. Aye?"
I straightened a bit. "Aye aye, captain!"
xxx
I feel like a different person since meeting Jillian. Why can't all people be like her? She's really funny and way smarter than me, sometimes I don't understand what she's talking about because she uses big words. But for some reason I can't help but hang onto everything that exits her mouth like it's gospel or something. She may be weird, but it's a good kind of weird. I think that's what drew me to her instead of ignoring her altogether, which is what I'd usually do with pretty much anyone else. I was so interested in understanding something so out of the ordinary, and once I peeked down the rabbit hole, I slipped and fell in—now there's no way out. And…I think I'm kind of okay with that.
She's so freaking cool.
"Something on your mind, Teddy?"
I looked up quickly and found grandpa staring at me, a concerned look on his face. "I'm fine." I shrugged, then went back to my comic book. I wasn't actually reading it though. It was freezing cold outside today, so I opted to stay inside. In reality though, I wanted to hang out with Jillian in our treehouse. We finally managed to patch the whole thing up, but it had no heat inside and in this weather would basically be like an ice box.
I was just thinking about what she was doing right now, wishing I could text her but she doesn't have a cell phone.
Grandpa pushed the door open further and stepped inside. "You've been spending an awful lot of time alone in your room this week. Everything alright?"
"Everything's fine."
"You know your father was the same when he was your age. Really liked to be left alone for the most part."
I shot him a curious look. "Really?"
"Of course. He was really shy, and he would only open up to your aunt Mia. It reminds me so much of you and Phoebe now. No matter what mood you're in, she always manages to make you smile."
I felt warmness creep across my face at his observation. "I never noticed I did that."
He laughed loudly and it made me jump, then came over and sat at the foot on my bed. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, son. You love your little sister, not out of the ordinary. Who doesn't love Phoebe?"
I shrugged. "Crazy people."
"You make sure to protect her from all the idiots out there because when she gets older, she'll be a force to be reckoned with, alright?"
I felt my entire body turn to ice. "If anyone ever hurts Phoebe, I'll eviscerate them."
Grandpa's eyes widened into saucers. "Eviscerate, huh? Where'd you learn that word?"
I only faintly remember hearing Jillian say it the other day when we were watching Star Wars episode 4. She practically screamed at my laptop and shook the screen when one of the AT-AT walkers went down during the battle of Hoth.
I paused the movie and turned to her. We were inside the small, empty cabin, huddled up in the corner furthest from the door with the laptop sitting on the wooden paneled floor in front of us. "What the heck is eviscerated?"
"Destroyed! Massacred! KABOOM!" She screeched, her eyes alight with so much joy that I fell onto my back laughing. "This is so awesome! Play! Hit play!"
I returned my attention back to Grandpa and made a nonchalant face. There's no way I can tell him that I learned the word from some random girl that I met in the forest a few days ago. "I read it in one of my books." I held up the comic in my hand, X-Men #338.
"You're probably the smartest kid I've ever seen, you know that? You're going to do great things when you're older."
I bit down on my tongue. Seriously, he's got to meet Jillian one day—she'll knock his socks off. "Thanks Grandpa." I muttered.
"Start getting ready to head out, will you? We don't want to miss the curtain call." He said after he patted my shoulder. I groaned in my head, I didn't want to go see a play…I wanted to hang with Jillian again. I crammed in all back into my mouth though, complying peacefully.
xxx
Jillian was absent from the treehouse today. It was Sunday and I had school tomorrow, so my parents were going to be picking me up, meaning I wouldn't get to see her again until next weekend.
For some reason that made me feel sick to my stomach. I'd be alone again, in the quiet confines of my mind until I saw her next Friday and she could finally fill that silence with her endless chatter.
The kid loved to talk, and she had so much to say, too. Some of it was interesting, some not so much, but I liked hearing it all.
I searched around the forest for her, in the spots we usually venture to. The river was clear, so was the lake, and the creek by the west entrance, as well as the canopy that sits beneath the Sound, where most of the wildlife nest. Jillian really likes that spot.
She's not out today. Even if I'm not good at navigating this forest, she definitely is—and she would have found me by now if she were out here. She always does.
Bummer.
My mother helps to unpack my things when were back at home, sorting out all the clothes that she'll wash for me. "Did you have fun?" She whispers, a huge smile on her face as she looks down at me on the floor in my bedroom, rummaging through my suitcase.
I gaze up at her, then back down to my knees, and a small smile pulls at the corner of my mouth.
"Yeah…I did."
xxx
"I've been thinking," Jillian says matter-of-factly.
I gave her a shocked expression. "You? Thinking? This is such news."
She snapped her fingers at me and I smiled huge. "Hey! Leave the sarcasm to me, okay?"
I held up my arms in a defeated way, my enormous smile refusing to fade. Jillian turned around and began climbing the huge tree. When she reached the lowest branch, she settled on it then reached out a hand to me. "Come on, already! Just hook your fingers into the bark—you can do it, it's easy."
I stay firmly planted on the ground, looking up at her. "Unlike you, I was probably a whale in a past life. As opposed to a monkey…or a koala. Climbing isn't really one of my greatest strengths."
"Big baby!" She squeaked.
"I'm older than you." I deadpan.
"Just do it! Grab onto the sides—I won't let you fall." She added on at the end, like maybe she was considering letting me fall before that statement.
I let out a tired gust of air, but finally swallowed my pride, latching onto the tree and scraping my way up, one branch at a time. Finally, within arm's reach, I grabbed her little hand and she pulled me onto the branch beside her.
"Yay!" She cheered, clapping excitedly. "Good job."
I looked down with wide eyes. Why is the ground so far away? "This is…this is high."
Jillian grabbed my face in her hands and forced me to meet those greenish blue eyes. "It helps if you don't look down." She promised.
I nodded, "So you were…uh, thinking?"
"Oh yeah! Your name is Theodore, right? Don't you have a nickname?"
I blinked at her, confused. "Of course."
She blinked back, and then there was a long pause. "Well what is it?!" She asked finally.
I turned away. "I don't want to say. I don't like it."
"You don't like what? Your nickname? What's wrong with it?"
"It's stupid, okay?"
"Just tell me." She demanded.
I could feel my face contort with discomfort. "Teddybear." I whispered quickly.
She moved closer to me, pressed her shoulder to mine and brought her face so close to mine our cheeks were almost touching, "What?"
I turned quickly to face her and she jumped back. "Teddy bear! My nickname is Teddy bear, okay? It's what everyone in my family calls me." I said, annoyed.
She made a face. "That's not so bad. I thought it would be like…schnookums, or booboo. I mean…my big brother calls me munchkin. He says it's because I'm so small and cute like a little munchkin." She rolls her eyes, but is smiling all the while. "Why don't you like Teddy bear?"
I shrug. "It's childish."
"You're a child, aren't you? Don't you think it fits? Or are you secretly thirty years old and never age? You certainly have the personality of an adult, all grumpy and quiet all the time."
"It's just…" I thought about it for a moment. "How would you feel if someone mixed up your real name and made it into something childish and weird? Like…Jeddy, or Jummy, or Jelly, or something? It's stupid. It sounds nothing like my real name."
"I love Jelly. It's sticky and sweet. I love it best with peanut butter on bread."
She could not be serious. "Are you even hearing me?"
"I like Teddy, though, it suits you...minus the bear."
I grimaced. "Fine then. If you call me Teddy, I'm gonna call you Jelly."
She thought about that for a moment. "That's alright with me…Teddy."
xxx
Two Months Later…
Jelly came bursting through the treehouse and stormed up to me with a fury brewing on her bespeckled face. "The hell is wrong with you?" I yelled, eyes wide.
"My daddy hates me." She squeaked, annoyed.
I closed my comic book and placed it on the floor before standing. With a deep breath, I calmly asked, "What are you talking about?"
"He hates me Teddy. He wishes I was never born." She crossed her arms and pouted.
"He's told you this?"
"He doesn't have to."
Is she just being dramatic? No…that's not like her at all. She's disturbingly literal. "Assumptions are dangerous things, Jelly."
She threw her arms up exasperatedly. "I'm not assuming, I know it! He's always so mean to me, he likes my older siblings way more, especially Blane."
I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. "Does he hit you a lot?" I asked, and felt relief wash over me when she shook her head. "What did he say that makes you think he hates you?"
"It's not what he says…it's how he looks at me. Like I was a mistake."
I couldn't help but think that she was maybe overreacting. I mean, aren't all fathers a little cold and distant with their children? My father isn't overly emotional either, that's my mother's job. "I'm sure that he doesn't hate you. He's probably just…having a hard time at work? Whenever my dad has a lot of work to do, he kind of zones out on me and my sister."
She shook her head again. "No, it's not the same. Daddy is always working, and it doesn't make him happy either, he's always tired when he gets home. It's not work that makes him not like me, he just doesn't like me."
Jelly finally sat down at my feet, snatching up the bag of Doritos and stuffing a few in her mouth. I couldn't miss the little sniffles that escaped after a second or two, subtly wracking her shoulders. I sat down again, unsure of what to say or do.
She was looking down, but I could still see tears stream down her little face and it confused me so much. I've never seen Jelly cry before…it wasn't a fun sight.
"Don't cry, please." I begged, my voice unrecognizable. I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly.
"I'm not crying!" She hiccupped, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
I thought about how I could make her feel better, but honestly I had no clue. The only person I've ever had to comfort while crying is my little sister, and she usually only started crying over stupid things and would stop less than a minute later.
"My parent took me to the doctor a year ago, because I had an incident at Phoebe's friend's birthday party. I don't know why, but I got really, really mad at this kid because he bumped into me and spilled juice on my shirt. I just…blew up. It didn't make a whole lot of sense, because I was fine before. I didn't even feel angry, my head just went boom! I got so mad…and it just kept happening again and again for the next few weeks. I would get angry…at nothing!"
"Intermittent explosive disorder." I sighed, hating the fact that I have to say it out loud. "I have actual, literal, anger management issues. That's why I spend so much time alone, because when I'm around other people I never know what they'll say or do to trigger me since it's so unexpected and random."
Jelly gives me a wide eyes look, her mouth hanging open. "Do you like, scream and yell?"
I shake my head. "No, never, it's always contained anger, but it makes my brain feel like it's on fire. It's gotten a lot better lately, but if I'm not careful, or if I lose focus for even one minute…boom."
"Have I ever made you angry?" She asks sadly.
Unbelievably so, she hasn't. It's incredible, actually. No matter how long she drones on, no matter what she does or says, it doesn't annoy me. "No. Not even once. But I have been really angry while you were around before, it wasn't your fault though. I try and keep it suppressed, to push it down. I take medicine for it too…keeps me calm, but it's not always effective." I admitted embarrassingly.
"So you…you can't make friends not because you like to be alone, but because you have to?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
Her tears were completely gone now. "Never again." She whispered.
I felt my brows scrunch together? "Huh?"
"I'll never let you be alone again. No one should have to suffer like that. And if you're ever angry you can talk to me and I'll listen to it all no matter what. That's what a friend is supposed to do! No matter what, I'll be here for you."
I chuckled a bit. "You promise? You can't take it back."
She held out her hand, extending her pinky finger to me. "I promise." She said, her eyes focused as she looked into mine. I used my pinky and locked it with hers tightly before we pressed our thumbs together.
"Cross your heart?"
"And hope to die."
xxx
Two Weeks Later…
"Here," Jelly extended a book to me and I took it without hesitation.
I looked at the cover. There was a man with glasses on it. "A Brief History of Time? Who is Stephen Hawking?"
"It's my favorite book, and he's my hero. He's my George Lucas." She referenced humorously.
"What does he do?" I asked her as she rocked form side to side, crisscross on the ground. We were sitting just outside the treehouse because she wanted to 'get some sun while it was out'. I guess that spending nearly an hour splashing around in the river wasn't enough 'sun time' for her.
"He's a physicist."
I gave her a confused look. "I thought you wanted to be a zoologist? Don't physicists study the universe?"
"I do, I do…but he's just so awesome that I can't help but admire him, even though he's doing something different than I want to do. He has a disease…it's called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, you see…he can't walk or even talk and he's supposed to be dead because of it, but he's almost ninety years old! It's so cool." She explained.
I had already begun the first page and was blown away by the amount of vocabulary in here that I didn't know. "I…I don't know about sixty percent of the words on this one page."
She waved me away. "Just skip over them, or you can look them up—it doesn't matter, what matters is the message and you don't need to know every word to get it."
"Fine, I'll try and read it. For you." Her huge smile warmed me up way better than the sun could ever hope to. "So what did you do this week?"
"Just school and stuff. You?"
"Same." I reached in my backpack and pulled out a container with some cinnamon rolls that Grandma made for us this morning for breakfast. I was getting kind of hungry. "Want one?"
She looked into the container. "What are they?"
"Cinnamon rolls."
She shook her head frivolously. "I can't eat cinnamon." Then, she opened her mouth the show me her tongue. "When I eat it my tongue swells up and I can't breathe."
I closed the container immediately, my eyes wide, panicking. "Oops."
"Yeah, I almost died when I was four from a churro at Disney World."
"Whoa—that sucks."
Her eyes were kind of sad, and now I felt horrible. "You're not missing out, it's not that good anyway." I promised. "Tell you what…if you can't eat cinnamon, I won't eat it either—ever."
"You'd do that for me?"
I cocked an eyebrow. "That's what friends are for, right?"
She laughed at that. "You're awesome, Teddy."
"Oh yeah, I got you something—almost forgot." I pulled out the thin silver chain from my pocket and extended it to her. She opened her hand and I placed it there.
"A ring?" She asked curiously, looking at me with excitement.
I nodded once. "I saw it at the mall and thought…of you…" For some reason, I kind of stuttered when I realized that I thought of her when I saw it. It was a little embarrassing to admit out loud.
She squinted at the small silver band and I could tell how enticed she was by it. "Battle of Hoth?" She whispered with a huge smile on her face. Jelly actually loved the battle of Hoth. Here, I thought she's be a sucker for episode 5, like me—which she is—but she's way more obsessed with episode 4.
"Battle of Hoth." I affirmed. The ring was way too big to fit around her finger, so I looped a chain through it, so that she could wear it as a necklace if she wanted to.
"This…is so cool. I have to get you something, too."
"Please, not another book with complicated words."
"I know! How about another book with complicated words?!" She lilted, clapping her hands together excitedly. I rolled my eyes.
"No, I think I know the perfect gift for you. Might take me a while to get it, but I promise that it will be incredible."
I shrugged, "It's just a little ring, no biggie."
"It's not the gift, it's the thought that counts. That's what mommy always tells me."
"My mom says that too. I think our parents would get along really well, actually."
Jelly rolled her eyes. "My daddy would just bore yours to death. All he does is work." Then, she looked at the ground, pulling blades of grass out as she was thinking. "He works so much that mommy cries sometimes. She comes out here so no one sees, and she only brings me and makes me promise not to tell. Sometimes she'll sit at her desk and just cry. She stopped writing a few days ago. I think she might be sick."
"Is she coughing a lot?" I asked.
Jelly shook her head. "No…she's just really tired all the time. I try and bring her flowers all the time, because she said she loves them, but they only make her happy for a little while. Then, she's crying again."
I worried the inside of my cheek, gnawing on the skin while I pondered my response. "You know that valley beneath the canopy? There's a spot where orchids grow down there—we can pick some for her if you'd like."
"Orchids? I've never seen orchids down there before."
"I saw them a few weeks ago when I was wandering around by myself. They were big and pink—I'm sure your mom would like them."
Her excitement faded after a moment. "It takes a really long time to get to the valley from here, at least two hours, and mommy says I have to be home before it gets dark…"
"That's right—and I have to go home tonight…"
"Yeah."
"We'll just do it next weekend. I'll go with you and we'll get a whole lot together, okay?"
She perked up a bit, but there was still sadness on her small face. "Kay…"
I had no idea that this was basically the last time I'd ever see her again. I'd been so caught up in my own world that I'd forgotten how mangled my emotions were, how much they dominated every inch of sanity that I possessed. Too selfish to admit the brutal truth:
I had no idea that this was the last time she'd ever see me again.