In the Cards…
Lily wasn't sure how late it was, or where James had come from. She remembered Sirius leaving her up in the boys' dorm. She remembered taking a few more shots. She even remembered going back downstairs to the celebration party. But what she obviously didn't remember was her low tolerance to alcohol, as she had never really gotten drunk before.
Now, though, she was leaning on James on the opposite side of the common room from the main party area. James had gotten done with his shower relatively quickly. When he had arrived back in the common room he was greeted with cheers. In the midst of it all, he saw Sirius waving him over and hurried to his friend's side.
"Lily's drunk." Sirius stated.
"Drunk?" James asked.
"Drunk."
"It's been half an hour or so since her last shot but I mean she had a lot." Sirius pointed over in Lily's direction. She was laughing and dancing with her friends. It wasn't too apparent that she was drunk. But James could see a slight stumble in her step and she was obviously looser than normal. "It's Ice Vodka, mate, it's only a matter of time before it fully hits her." Remus approached the red head and led her to the corner of the room.
"What's he doing?" James wondered aloud.
"Trying to make sure that when it hits her, she's not with people."
James nodded, knowing full well the effects of drinking a lot of Ice Vodka in a short period of time. If you drank it gradually, it was like regular vodka, but if you drank it fast, it hit you all at once like a wave knocking your senses from your body.
It appeared that this was exactly the moment the alcohol caught up with Lily. As James watched she fell backwards into a chair, holding her head and squinting her eyes. Remus glanced over looking for Sirius, but locked eyes with James.
"I'll take care of this," he said to Sirius, who nodded.
"Take her up to our dorm, let her lie down," he advised. "I've got some--"
"Yeah," James nodded, making his way over to Lily.
"Oh, love, you're a right mess," James said, kneeling down next to her.
"No I'm not," Lily insisted.
"You, are pissed."
'Yes, I am," Lily agreed leaning into him.
"How are you feeling, love?" he asked, staring her in the eyes.
"Not too good," she admitted.
James shook his head. "Not too good," he repeated. "Okay, time to go. Come with me."
Lily was led up the stairs once more, to the boys' dorm.
"What are we doing up here?" she asked as James sat her down on his bed and sat himself on Sirius'.
He sighed, "We're waiting to see if you feel better."
"I thought you were mad at me," she said leaning back.
James stood and walked into the bathroom, reappearing with a glass and a jug of water.
"You deserved to be mad at me," Lily continued as James pulled her into a sitting position, handing her a glass of water.
"Is that so?" he replied.
"I should have come to you, not Remus. But I doubt you would have told me if I had come to you."
James laughed, "We can talk about this some other time, love."
"Those names mean something, don't they?" she replied, finishing the water and lying back down.
"What names?" James asked sitting next to her.
"Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, Prongs," she replied.
"You think they mean something?" he asked.
"I know they do. And I'm going to find out," she said.
James refilled her glass with a jug from his nightstand and sat her back up to drink it. She wordlessly agreed to his request and drank the second glass.
"James?" she asked, upon finishing the glass, "Are we moving too fast?"
James was quiet. He refilled her glass again.
"I mean, Remus says we might be going a little fast," she said.
James sighed, "Sirius thinks so too."
Lily giggled, "Snape doesn't like it either."
James laughed, "That's three people voting against us." He handed her the glass a third time.
Lily shook her head, "I'm not thirsty."
"Drink it," he insisted, "It'll get you sober."
"Water isn't going to sober me," Lily argued.
James smiled, "Not regular water."
"This isn't regular water?" Lily asked taking the glass from him.
He shook his head, "I mixed it sobering potion."
"Why not just give me the sobering potion straight?"
"Because that would make you puke," James replied. "It's a brutal potion taken straight, but if you mix the dosage with a lot of water it cleans out your system and isn't concentrated enough to make you throw up everything you've ever eaten in your life."
Lily finished the glass and handed it back to James for him to refill. "How many more glasses are there?"
James smiled, "I'd say you've got three more to down, and then about ten minutes to wait and you'll be well enough to ride a broom, though you probably wouldn't legally be allowed to drive a car."
Lily laughed. "Why are you trying to sober me anyway?"
"Because, if you don't get sober before the Ice Vodka really kicks in, we'll be spending the night in the bathroom. Besides, we need to talk."
"I think the bathroom option sounds more promising," Lily joked, starting on the next glass of water.
"As someone who's experienced the bathroom option, I recommend the talking," James replied, noting Lily coming back from her previously debauched state of being.
James watched quietly as Lily drank the rest of the water from the jug. As she finished, she asked, "You boys just keep sobering potions in the bathroom?"
"You never know when you're going to need to get sober fast," James replied. "It belongs to Sirius."
"That explains it."
"That explains everything."
Lily laughed and lay down. Her vision was clearing, but the room was still spinning slightly, she felt like she was riding the staircases. She relaxed into the familiar feeling and felt quiet tired. She yawned and closed her eyes.
A few minutes passed, before James spoke.
"How are you feeling now, love?"
There was no response.
"Love?" James asked moving over to where she lay. Lily was sleeping soundly on his bed. James smiled slightly, and lay down next to her, carefully, so as not to wake her. James closed his eyes and imagined waking up next to Lily. Unfortunately for James, he woke up to the sound of her rushing from the room. James opened his eyes just in time to see a red blur flee from the dormitory.
James ran after her, confused.
"Lily, wait!" he called as he reached the stairs. Lily was standing on the landing peering down into the common room trying to determine if anyone would notice her coming down the boys' stairs.
She spun around when she heard James, "How long were we up here?" she demanded.
James checked his watch, "We were only asleep for like 15 minutes, love."
"I can't believe this," Lily stated putting her head in her hands.
James watched her more confused than ever, "What's wrong?"
"Everything," Lily glared at him.
James was stunned, "Why are you so angry with me?"
"I'm not," Lily sighed, "I'm angry with myself. I should be angry with you. You said we were just a bet!"
James looked down, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
Lily waved off his apology, "That's not the point. I'm not even mad about that, I just- I-"
Lily faltered, searching for the words. James waited for her to continue, though not sure where she was going with it.
"This isn't going to work," she stated finally. Again, James didn't reply. "I just can't."
James looked at her, "Can't what?"
"I can't do this anymore. It's not me."
"It's me?" James asked confused.
Lily shook her head, "No, it's not what I'm about. It's not me."
"Not you?" James began to pace on the landing, trying to process all the things Lily was saying. "How is it not you if you're doing it?"
"Because it isn't me!" Lily asserted. "I don't do this! I don't sneak off to Hogsmeade, I don't break school rules daily, and I don't need sobering potions to ward off the effects of Ice Vodka!"
James stared at her, "That's not you? Are you sure, it seemed to be you pretty well. Maybe it could be you and it just needs some getting used to."
"It's not me," Lily repeated. "And because of that, this can't work."
"It can work, this could be you," James countered.
"I can't just become something I'm not, and haven't been, just because it would make you happy."
James glared at her and replied coldly, "You're such a hypocrite, Lily. Seriously."
Lily looked away, "I shouldn't have said that, but you know what I meant."
James nodded, "You meant that it's okay for you to stay exactly how you are and make no compromises, where as I have to become a whole new person to even get the time of day from little miss perfect."
It was Lily's turn to glare. "Oh good, James, as always you raise the maturity level with petty name calling. Bravo."
"That's just what I do, isn't it? I'm an immature corrupter of all things good and pure like Lily Evans." He tried to catch her gaze and failed.
"James, it's not like that. This isn't about you! It's about me, and I can't do this!" she stated, finally meeting his gaze. "I still want to be your friend."
"My friend?" He turned and leaned his forehead against the nearest wall, so his back was to her.
"Yes, we'll finish up our agreement and –"
He turned around in a flash, "Our agreement?" he asked angrily, "This has nothing to do with our agreement."
"Well, it does now," Lily said softly.
"We're so far past that stupid deal, Lily," James said forcefully.
"Not anymore," she replied. "We're friends now, with an agreement. That's all I can handle right now. I just don't feel like myself, I'm doing things I don't like, and I can't deal with it."
James laughed icily, "So you're scared and you're running away?"
Lily dug her nails in to the palm of her hand, clenching her fists in frustration, anger, and hurt. "If that's the way you want to see it, fine." She turned to go down the stairs, but James stopped her again.
"Love, don't, please," he said quietly looking at her so intensely her breath caught in her throat.
"This is how I feel James."
The anger was back on his face, "Then I feel like you're a coward, I never would have thought it, but you are. And this," he motioned between the two of them with one hand, "was a waste of time."
He brushed passed her down the stairs and as Lily sunk onto the bottom step, weakened by his harsh words. After she heard the common room portrait slam shut, she sat there for a moment, composing herself as she always did when she felt the need to cry. Finally, shakily, Lily made her way across the common room and up the girls' staircase, ignoring the questioning looks she was receiving from Sirius and Remus.
A/N- Too predicatable? Oh well, Happy St. Pat's!