Amanda stands at the doorway to the living room with her arms crossed over her chest, watching Olivia converse on the phone with Tucker for another moment, before turning away and retreating to the kitchen, deciding to tend to their ignored dinner. She tucks the ring back into her pocket and then pulls on a pair of oven mitts, opening the microwave door a little more roughly than she intends before grasping onto the bowl of soup and preparing to lift it out onto the counter.

She hears Olivia's tinkling laugh over the sound of the TV, and is momentarily distracted from her task, wondering what she and Tucker could possibly be finding so amusing, and the bowl slips from her hands and crashes to the floor with a loud bang. The soup splatters everywhere, down her body and across the tiles, the burning hot liquid searing through her pajamas and onto the skin of her stomach and thighs, a few droplets splashing across her hand, and she yelps in pain, immediately whirling toward the sink and turning on the water, thrusting her hand beneath the soothing cool spray.

"Amanda! What happened? Are you okay?"

Olivia has rushed into the kitchen and is standing behind her now, an arm wrapped around her back, reaching into the sink to place a hand over her own. Amanda's teeth are digging into her lower lip, biting down hard, trying to keep the tears at bay, the sharp physical pain mixing with the strange emotional turmoil she now finds herself in, and she is aware of the older woman trying to get her to turn around so she can see her face, but she remains where she is, feet planted firmly onto the floor so they don't have to make eye contact.

"Amanda, what happened?" Olivia repeats, a faint note of alarm in her tone, hand rubbing up and down her back. "Did you burn yourself? Are you alright?" There is a brief pause when Amanda still doesn't answer or meet her gaze. "Honey, can you look at me, please?"

She blinks rapidly, trying to get the tears to dissipate, before meeting Olivia's concerned dark gaze, and is aware of the thin line of blood trickling down her chin now, the pain from her lip combining with the white hot burning sensation on her hand, and on her stomach and thighs, her head and throat still aching due to the bad cold and fever, and the physical misery she is in suddenly seems overwhelming and all-encompassing.

"Oh, sweetheart, what did you do?" Olivia is swiping a thumb over the blood staining her skin and then taking her hand into both of her own, lifting it up so she can see the angry red mark seared into the pale flesh.

"It was an accident," Amanda mumbles, as the other woman leads her over to a chair, carefully sidestepping them around the splatter of soup, and gently pushes her down into it, before soaking a paper towel in cold water and placing it against the wound on her hand.

Olivia is kneeling down on the floor in front of her now, hands resting lightly on her knees, a frown fixed on the taller woman's face, as her gaze roams over Amanda's pajamas, the material sticking to her body in various wet patches. She is wincing as she sits there, the small burn marks feeling extremely painful, and she hunches over, closing her eyes and gasping out a short breath.

"Oh, Amanda, you're really hurt," Olivia says softly, fingers gently grazing the soaked patch on one of her thighs.

"I'm fine," she grits out through clenched teeth, trying to breathe through the pain as she pushes Olivia's hand away from her, incredulous that such minuscule injuries can hurt this much. "Don't worry about it."

"Honey, let me help you," the older woman says, sitting back on her heels and gazing up at Amanda with a somewhat perplexed expression on her face now, eyebrows pulling together in a slight frown.

"I don't need any help, Liv," Amanda replies, with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I'll be fine, okay? Sorry I interrupted your conversation."

"It's fine," Olivia answers, frown becoming deeper as she continues to look up at her. "My throat hurts too much to talk for long anyway."

"What were you laughing about?" she asks, before she can stop herself.

Olivia rolls her eyes, a slight smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. "Tucker was telling me a joke to cheer me up because I'm sick. He actually has a sense of humor, if you can believe that." She chuckles. "Or he thinks he does, anyway."

Amanda stares at her in silence for a moment, feeling an ache spreading through her chest, and the silly, fun mood of the day seems to have evaporated entirely now. She finds herself on the verge of tears once again, and her deep, varying emotions are confusing her, not understanding exactly what her problem is and afraid to look too closely. That vague awareness is still there; that this attachment she has to her boss is unhealthy, that this insatiable need to be so close to Olivia at all times is spinning out of control, and that maybe it is finally time to take a giant step back.

"Amanda, what's going on?" the older woman asks softly, hands on her knees once again, thumbs stroking back and forth soothingly. "Are you alright?"

She shrugs and looks away, willing the tears to disappear. "Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know; you tell me," Olivia says quietly.

"I can't tell you what I don't know," Amanda mutters, blue eyes fixed firmly on the kitchen table beside her, not meeting the other woman's intense gaze.

"Yes, I seem to recall you mentioning that before," her boss replies, the tone of her voice unreadable now. "Honey, please talk to me. You look like you're about to start crying."

"I'm not crying," Amanda snaps back, but then realizes what a bizarre statement this is to make, as there is now a tear rolling down one of her cheeks. She wipes an impatient arm across her face and her legs twitch with the sudden need to flee the room.

"Is it the pain or something else?" Olivia asks, the grip on her knees becoming somewhat firmer now, as if she knows Amanda is intending to escape the situation, and her boss reaches up toward her face, Amanda quickly turning her head to the side before the other woman can wipe away the next tear that is making a wet trail down her cheek. "Can you talk to me, please? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"You mean besides the burn marks all over my body?" Amanda chokes out, swallowing hard against the torrent of sobs that are now struggling to break free from her throat.

"Okay, let's go into the bathroom, so I can help you out," Olivia replies softly, getting to her feet and reaching out a hand for Amanda to grab ahold of. "I can take a look at them and get them bandaged up for you."

She sits there, making no move at all to take the older woman's hand or get to her feet, gaze fixed on the floor now, feeling a wave guilt overcome her for the immature way she is acting, but it feels as if all of the pent up emotions are going to come bursting out of her if she opens her mouth or makes any kind of move. Amanda is quite disturbed by the intense feelings coursing their way through her system, feelings that have been pushed to the side until several minutes ago. She is upset and uncomprehending of the jealousy and need that stab into her, and is suddenly aware of how bad an idea it was to have Olivia stay at her place full time.

There is an immense amount of shame mixing in with the other feelings now, and she is angry that she has let someone else get so close to her, has let her life become so intrinsically intertwined and connected with another person's, as this is not her usual style at all; Amanda had not been such a needy, clingy mess until her life had spun so rapidly out of control, leaving her grasping desperately at anything to pull her back up out of the black hole she had fallen into. She misses the strong, independent, confident woman she used to be, and wonders if that woman is ever coming back, if she is just in hiding for a little while or if she has disappeared altogether.

She tries to get ahold of all of the emotions crashing down upon her, but everything suddenly seems like too much to handle; Olivia, the assault, the gambling, the anxiety, the nightmares, the fact that they still haven't caught the man who had turned her life upside down and more than likely never will, and she struggles to maintain control of herself, to remember Dr. Lindstrom's advice for what to do when her life seems too overwhelming, but her mind is so full of everything else, that she is drawing a complete blank.

"Amanda," Olivia says softly, and she realizes that the older woman is kneeling back down again and has a hand on her cheek now, gently turning her head so that their gazes are fixed on each other. "Tell me what's going on. Right now." Her boss' voice is still quiet, but there is a hint of steel underneath, that warning to do as she is told and not to argue, and she knows it is because Olivia is extremely worried and trying not to show it.

"I'm just...confused," she whispers, her heart tearing a little at the concerned, empathetic expression on Olivia's face.

"About what, honey?"

"A lot of things."

"Okay..." Olivia trails off, her thumb stroking back and forth along Amanda's cheekbone now, urging her to continue speaking.

"What did Tucker want?" she whispers, her heart striking up a quick rhythm in her chest.

Olivia's brow furrows as they continue to regard each other and her thumb slides to a stop. "He just called to say hello."

"But I thought you broke up," Amanda replies in confusion.

"We did."

"So..."

"So, what?"

"So, I don't get it," Amanda answers.

"There's nothing to get," Olivia says firmly, pulling away and sitting back on her heels now. "We still chat once in awhile, just to see how the other is doing. We're still friends who are trying to get along, as we have to work with each other from time to time, and it's easier if things are good between us." There is a slight pause. "We're mature adults who are trying to make the best of a situation that didn't turn out so well," Olivia continues. The older woman is staring at her very intently now, and Amanda feels a hot blush creeping across her cheeks. "Why do you keep asking about things that are none of your business?"

Amanda feels another intense spike of anger, the blush deepening until it seems like her entire face is on fire, but this time the anger is not directed at herself. She is reminded of the conversation in her bedroom a couple of weeks before, when Olivia had been less than forthcoming about her personal life, even though Amanda's has been on full display since a week after the assault had occurred. "None of my business? My entire life is your business, Olivia, but again, I am not even allowed to ask one question about yours."

"I'm just having trouble understanding why you care so much about this particular aspect of my life," Olivia says, one eyebrow arched as she continues to stare hard at Amanda.

"I care because I'm worried about you," Amanda shoots back. "Why is it so weird for one best friend to be worried about another?"

Olivia's gaze softens a little at this, and her tone is somewhat subdued when she speaks again. "Because I don't think your concern for me is the reason why you're asking."

There is dead silence for a moment as their gazes remain locked on one another. Amanda is in extreme discomfort now, both physically and emotionally; that urge to flee the room stronger than ever, and Olivia puts a firm hand on her knee again, as if the older woman knows exactly what she is thinking and is trying to stop her movements.

"Well, what's the reason then?" Amanda whispers, suddenly fearful of the answer and not sure why.

"You tell me," Olivia replies quietly. "And don't say you can't tell me what you don't know." There is a slight pause, pregnant with waiting. "I think you do know, Amanda."

"I don't," she insists, her eyes bright with unshed tears, and she feels the older woman squeezing her knee gently.

"Then can you tell me why this entire day seems to have gone to hell because of one very short phone call?" she asks softly. "Amanda, what happened? I've never had such a fun sick day in my entire life. I didn't know it was possible to have this much fun while being so ill, but in the space of just a few minutes, everything seems to have changed."

"I'm in a lot of pain," Amanda murmurs, gaze wandering down to the nasty burn mark on her hand. "I spilled hot soup all over myself. That's what changed."

Olivia sighs deeply, taking Amanda's hand into both of her own again, fingers stroking lightly against her inflamed skin. "Then let me help you, honey."

"I'm fine," she insists again, pulling away from the other woman's touch and staggering to her feet. "I'm going to go take a cool shower. Hopefully it'll make the rest of the burns start to feel a bit better. Then I'll put some cream on them and get them bandaged up."

"Amanda, please let me help you-" Olivia starts to repeat, but Amanda holds up a shaky hand as she makes her way slowly out of the kitchen.

"I can help myself, Liv."

She walks into the bathroom and shuts the door quietly behind her, leaning back against it for moment, closing her eyes and releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding. The wounds on her stomach and thighs are throbbing painfully, and she carefully removes Olivia's ring from her pocket, setting it on the counter before shedding the soup-splatted pajamas, discarding them on the floor, and standing naked in front of the mirror to take stock of her injuries. There are small flaming red marks littering her torso and her lower lip is swollen, a light streak of blood still visible on her chin. Her blonde hair looks dull and lank, laying greasily against her head, and the blush has drained from her face, her normally pale complexion now completely leached of all color, ribs and shoulder blades standing out prominently beneath the florescent lighting. Amanda shakes her head at herself, disgusted with the haunted reflection staring back at her, and she remembers a time in the recent past when she had actually been attractive, and had been able to appreciate her own good looks.

She leans over the tub to turn on the shower, and it occurs to her that this is just one more thing she has lost over the past several weeks, since her extreme urges to gamble had started up again and her life had spiraled out of control after the relapse. The tears that have been threatening to fall spill over down her cheeks now, and she covers her mouth to muffle a sob as she steps carefully into the bathtub, making sure the water isn't too hot, so it will feel good on her burns. Amanda shivers violently as she stands there under the cool spray and she has to fight the urge to turn the tap up to the warmest temperature to make the shuddering stop.

She feels that familiar panic start stirring up inside of her, promising a whirlwind of anxious activity, and she squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, leaning her head against the tiles, trying to get a handle on it before it gets out of control again. She practices one of the breathing exercises that Dr. Lindstrom has taught her, but when it doesn't calm down after a few minutes of trying, and those invisible hands are wrapped around her throat again, unseen fingers pressing in and beginning to choke off her air supply, she quickly whips the shower curtain aside and focuses her gaze on the one thing that always helps. Olivia's ring is sitting on the counter, gleaming in the harsh light of the bathroom, and her eyes zero in on it, staring hard, and is very tempted to bring it into the tub with her so she can hold it in her hand while showering, but she refrains.

She keeps her gaze fixed upon the ring for several minutes, and the panic slowly begins to ebb away before it can explode out of control, and Amanda sighs in relief, as this is one less thing to worry about for now. Once the threat of the looming anxiety attack has been dealt with, she feels an overwhelming wave of sadness and loss, her eyes still locked upon the most incredible gift she has ever been given, as she thinks about the ring's owner, Olivia seemingly never far from her thoughts, and just like that, she knows what has to be done.

This bathtub has seen its fair share of drama and tears, and Amanda figures she will just add to it, as she bends over at the waist, hands clenched onto her knees, the thoughts in her head too much to bear now. Even though she has been trying to keep quiet, not wanting to alert Olivia to her distress, a sob rips its way out of her throat and she covers her mouth with her hands, hoping the older woman hasn't heard her. Everything that has happened over the past several weeks is spinning like a whirlwind through her mind now, and she can't seem to get a handle on her thoughts and emotions, crouching down in the bottom of the tub now, another sob spilling from between her lips and echoing loudly in the small space.

A sharp knock sounds at the bathroom door, and Amanda's head snaps up, hands over her mouth again, as if she can take back the sounds that have been pouring from her throat, but it is too late.

"Amanda!" Olivia's voice sounds from the other side of the door, and she realizes that she hadn't thought to lock it.

She doesn't answer, just remains crouched there on the slippery surface of the tub, and she hears the door open slowly, trying to stifle yet another sob, but a whimper makes its way from between her lips before she can stop it.

"Amanda, what's the matter, honey?" Olivia's voice has that faintly alarmed, concerned tone threading through it again, and she winces, gripping onto the sides of her wet hair and giving it a sharp tug, feeling the guilt stab into her again, as she can never seem to stop upsetting her boss who is also very sick and has basically given up her life for her, has done so much more for her in the space of a few weeks than anyone else has done in a lifetime. Despite this, she can't seem to stop herself from speaking her next words, just needing to be left alone.

"Olivia, you're not respecting my privacy," she says, voice so shaky, she doesn't even know if the other woman can hear her properly.

"It's hard to respect your privacy when all I can hear is you crying," Olivia responds gently. "Honey, I have to admit that you're scaring me a little here. You're injured and sick and there's obviously something else going on as well, so I need you to talk to me."

"It's too much," Amanda admits through a strangled sob, and she can hear the older woman take a step closer, can see the outline of her body through the shower curtain now.

"What is, sweetheart?"

"Everything," she chokes out. "I'm so sick of everything. I need a break, Liv. Why can I never have a break?"

"Amanda, I need you to turn off the shower now," Olivia says, tone still very gentle, but slightly more commanding now, as she speaks. "I'm going to pass you a towel and you need to get dried off and come out of there so we can talk."

Amanda is sitting in the bottom of the tub now, thighs pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around her shins, crying into her knees, and she doesn't think she can stop.

"Okay, Amanda, I need you to listen to me," Olivia tells her, voice very firm. "You need to turn the water off and come out of there right now, or I'm going to pull the curtain back. I don't want to violate your privacy but you're really worrying me here, and I need to know that you're okay."

Amanda still can't seem to answer as she tries desperately to get control of herself, and she is aware of the older woman hovering right next to the curtain now.

"Honey, I'm just reaching in to turn the shower off," her boss says quietly, that undercurrent of worry very apparent in her tone. "I'm going to open the curtain and bring you a towel."

Amanda keeps her head buried in her knees, eyes tightly closed, concentrating on breathing through the pain and tamping down her strong emotions, and she is simultaneously freezing cold and boiling hot, the fever still burning brightly within her. She hears the water turn off and feels a towel being wrapped gently around her back, another towel rubbing vigorously through her soaking wet hair, and she turns her head to the side, cracking an eye open. Olivia is sitting on the floor beside the tub now, and there is a sharp pull inside her chest as she takes in the older woman's mused brown locks and the cheeks flushed with fever, and she knows her boss should be getting some rest instead of dealing with her seemingly never ending drama and issues once again, especially since it is a work day tomorrow, and she sighs, eyelids drifting shut once more. She feels as if she has hit a wall, has reached the end of her rope, and the urge to give up burns strongly inside of her; the exhaustion from her rigorous schedule of appointments and meetings, always being on alert for any change in her body and brain indicating the start of a panic attack, the man that haunts her nightmares, and the woman who has come to mean more to her than she had ever thought anyone possibly could. And the sobering realization that she has to let her go.

"I'm sorry, Liv," she murmurs, words soft and heartfelt. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this when you're sick. You should just go lay down and get some rest."

"Amanda, there is no way in hell I'm leaving you alone right now," Olivia replies sternly, and Amanda feels a hand resting atop her drenched head, fingernails scratching gently against her scalp. "And you don't have to apologize. I know how everything can seem really tough and overwhelming all of a sudden, and all of the emotions can be drowning you instantly, dragging you down. And it definitely doesn't help that you're sick and injured." Her eyes are still closed and she feels the other woman's fingertips trailing across her cheek now. "You are burning up, honey. Let's get you out of there and dried off. We can take care of your injuries and get some more medication into you to try to bring your fever down again."

Amanda lets Olivia help her to her feet, the older woman drying her off quickly, and hears the sharp intake of breath when Olivia's eyes travel down her body, taking in the burn marks. Her boss wraps the towel around her, securing it under her arms, before leading her over to sit down on the closed lid of the toilet, Olivia searching through the medicine cabinet above the sink, and pulling a bunch of supplies out to set them down on the counter.

She watches at the older woman kneels down on the floor in front of her and takes both of her hands gently into her own. "Is it okay if I help you?" she asks quietly.

Amanda nods wordlessly, and it is very quiet for the next several minutes as Olivia tends to her wounds, carefully applying the medicated cream and putting the bandages on. The older woman is tender and caring in her gentle ministrations, and Amanda feels no embarrassment whatsoever, just trust and gratitude, when Olivia lifts the towel out of the way to take care of the burns, before smoothing it back into place. She is again overcome with an intense wash of feelings, a longing and need that pierce through her and bring her to tears once more. Amanda doesn't think this is ever going to stop; thinks she has opened the floodgates of emotions and is never going to be able to close them again.

"Sorry, honey, I know it hurts," Olivia says softly, apparently mistaking her tears for physical pain, as she leans away, sitting back on her heels and looking up at her with large dark eyes. "We're all done here. How about we just get tucked into bed and then we can talk for it a bit, okay? You can tell me what's going on in that head of yours." She grasps onto Amanda's uninjured hand and gives it a squeeze. "I'm really worried, sweetheart."

Amanda draws out of her grasp and covers her face with her hands and begins to sob once more. She is aware of Olivia pulling herself up to her knees again and trying to take her hands away from her face, and she slides off the toilet seat, leaning into the other woman, Olivia sitting back down on the floor, her legs tucked up underneath her. Amanda is in her lap now, knees on either side of Olivia's thighs, shins pressing into the cold tiles, and she rests her head against the other woman's shoulder, hot tears spilling onto her sweatshirt.

"It's okay, I've got you," her boss says quietly, and Amanda feels herself being rocked back and forth in the older woman's embrace, one of Olivia's hands smoothing over her back, and the other tangled up in her wet hair.

They sit there on the floor for several minutes, intertwined with each other, Amanda crying softly and Olivia murmuring words of comfort. The staggering amount of loss she feels before even speaking what needs to be said is incredible, and she almost doesn't have the courage to voice what is on her mind, but she knows she needs to go through with it, that she needs to put a stop to what has been happening, her own emotions and behavior frightening her, and she feels her heart rate begin to quicken.

Her head is still resting against the other woman's shoulder, and she turns her face so that her lips are right next to Olivia's ear. "Liv, I think you need to leave," she whispers.

Amanda feels the older woman stiffen momentarily in her embrace, and when Olivia speaks, she sounds slightly taken aback. "You want me to leave?" There is confusion and what sounds like hurt threading through her boss' tone, and her heart aches, fingers clenching slightly against Olivia's arm.

"Not right away," she says softly. "But when you start feeling better, I think it would be for the best."

The sudden silence is deafening now, and she can feel Olivia's heart rate picking up, matching the speed of her own. "I don't understand," the older woman finally says, tone low, a slight tremble detectable beneath her words. "When we were out in the living room, you said that you were having a moment, appreciating that I was still here." There is a brief pause and the shaking of Olivia's voice is more noticeable now. "What changed?"

"Liv..." Amanda trails off for a moment, her throat so tight, it is making it hard to speak, and she swallows around the lump that has formed. "When I told you yesterday that you were holding me together, I meant it. I feel like I can't function without you now, and it's wrong, it's unhealthy. It's something that's been really hard for me to admit, but this isn't right. I'm using you as a crutch, and I can't get better like this. I need to be able to do it on my own." She has to pause now as the tears feel like they're choking her. "And you need to be able to have your own life again. I've taken enough away from you. I think that much is obvious now."

"Honey, if you're talking about Tucker, you didn't ruin anything, you didn't take anything away from me. That is an entirely separate issue, okay?" Olivia says gently, and Amanda thinks she can hear the hint of tears in the other woman's tone now too. "And I do have my own life, sweetheart. I've just been sharing it with you for the past few weeks." There is silence again, and Amanda feels physical pain in her chest when her boss continues speaking. "I like sharing my life with you."

"I like sharing my life with you too," she replies in a hushed tone. "I like it a little too much, Olivia. I think I've gotten too used to having you around." Amanda leans slightly away from the other woman now, her arms looped around the back of Olivia's neck, so they are face to face and eye to eye. "I think the longer you wait to leave, the harder it's going to be." She swallows thickly, the tears still slipping one after the other down her cheeks, and she sees a tear clinging to the bottom of the older woman's eyelashes. "Because I don't want you to leave at all," Amanda admits, words choked now, as they gaze intently at one another. "I want you to stay here permanently, so I think it's best that you go before things get more out of hand, before my attachment to you becomes even stronger."

Olivia is staring at her in silence, the other woman's expression completely unreadable, and Amanda doesn't know how to interpret this sudden quiet; is unsure if her boss agrees with her or not, if Olivia is alarmed with her disclosure, if she is upset about it, or if she feels the same way Amanda does, perhaps also wanting to turn this into a permanent thing. She can't allow herself to travel down that road, though; is resolute in keeping away from that train of thought, and instead reaches up to the counter to grasp onto Olivia's ring with shaking fingers.

The older woman's brow puckers slightly as she holds it out to her in the palm of her hand. "Do you want this back?" Amanda asks, voice trembling, afraid to hear the answer, that she will not be able to hold onto a little piece of Olivia once she is gone.

"Do you still need it?" the other woman asks softly.

Amanda nods, unable to speak now, as Olivia grasps onto her hand and curls her fingers tightly into her palm, the small, cold safety object enveloped in her grasp. "It's yours for as long as you need it," the other woman replies quietly, fingers locked firmly around Amanda's. There is a slight pause as they sit there, hand in hand, still staring at each other intensely. "Is this really what you want, Amanda?" The question is spoken very softly, and she finds herself nodding again, despite her strong desire to do otherwise.

"Okay," Olivia whispers, and Amanda feels her heart shatter at the older woman's next words, even though she knows this is for the best. "If this is what you really want, I'll leave."