Disclaimer: All characters belong to SquareEnix, we just brought them out to play.
Big thank you to our beta SephirothxAerith for Betaing and all of her contributions
000
Sephiroth and Cloud sat rather anxiously in the small austere white waiting room. The man they were about to meet was one of the few people still alive who knew Sephiroth before his untimely "death" at Nibelheim. Normally they would try to avoid that type of person – besides Reeve – at all costs; however Sephiroth assured both Tifa and Cloud that he had known Dr. Jarrod Raker for many years and that he was the type of man who would be discreet in this situation. But even still, Sephiroth himself was apprehensive; it had been almost 10 years and a LOT had changed since those days. People tended to change along with the times.
The kids were understandably impatient – they wanted to see the chocobos – and making sure the adults knew it, but Cloud had insisted they wait to make sure Sephiroth even got in through the door… If things went badly Cloud wanted to be there to help smooth things over; if things went well then he wanted to finally thank the doctor for practically saving his life in Mideel. As Cloud tried his best to keep the kids in check (therefore out of trouble), Sephiroth was trying to keep himself distracted by rereading the program requirements.
"Denzel, Marlene! If I hear one more word – JUST ONE – in the next ten minutes and we'll just go straight home after this. No Chocobo farm at all!" The blond swordsman finally threatened, with the immediate result of the children shushing up and sinking lower into their chairs. Cloud shot a glance towards the door, praying Dr. Raker would emerge soon before the kids got antsy again.
There was the sound of a door opening and closing from the office in the back and someone's footsteps coming down the hallway toward the door that separated the waiting from the offices. However, they stopped just as they got to the secretary's desk; the figure was still concealed by a column placed there.
"Janice, is there anymore coffee in the break room?"
Cloud noticed Sephiroth visibly tense at the sound of the voice.
"Yup, just made a fresh pot," the receptionist chirped
"Would you mind getting me one while I see my next visitors?"
"Certainly, I'll have it for you in a jiffy," the young woman said before getting up to fetch it.
As soon as the receptionist was out of sight, Sephiroth cleared his throat rather loudly to get Dr. Raker's attention.
"I'm coming General," Raker said as he finally came through the door. "It really is you."
"Good to see you again doctor," Sephiroth nodded respectfully.
"I think we'd better take this into my office; my secretary will be back any minute." Sephiroth nodded and rose to follow him, his companions following suit.
Catching a glimpse of Cloud, Dr. Raker found himself asking, "Strife?"
Cloud gave his usual semi-vague smile, "Yes Doctor."
Raker returned the smile with a small one of his own. "I thought I recognized that head of hair. Are you looking to enter the program too or...?"
"No, Doctor. But Sephiroth needed to see you and I felt I owed you at least a thank you for when you treated me."
"You're welcome. Glad to see you have been doing well, and keeping quite busy saving the world…" Raker said with a slight smirk.
"It wasn't just me." Cloud pointed out modestly, though he had a small grin.
"Cloud's the best!" Denzel cheered before clamping a hand over his mouth while getting a whack on the shoulder from Marlene. But Cloud's flash of a small smile quickly soothed them.
"Am I right in deducing Sephiroth is staying with you?" Raker asked.
"He and his significant other have been gracious enough to allow it while I go through school," Sephiroth explained.
"He's also working with the office end of our businesses," Cloud added.
Raker nodded, retaking a firm formal expression on his face. "Well, that answers one of my questions. If you'll come with me Sephiroth, we can get to answering the rest and see about getting you into the program."
As they headed towards the door, Cloud called out, "Call me when you're ready Sephiroth. I'll just take the monsters here for some sight-seeing."
"Thank you Cloud," Sephiroth nodded before following Raker back to his office.
"Have a seat," Raker motioned to the chair on the other side of his desk.
Sephiroth sat down, the apprehension growing in him as, no doubt now that they were away from prying ears, Raker would start asking questions regarding his very presence after ShinRa had reported him dead after Nibelheim.
"Well first and foremost I should like to ask how are you alive and where have you been?" Raker went right for the jugular.
Sephiroth mentally winced; it was the very question he dreaded. "That's a complicated and long story."
"Well when I saw you were coming I kept my schedule clear for at least two hours," Raker said stoically.
Sephiroth went over all the possibilities in his mind: all the fake stories and lies he could tell. But looking honestly at the man sitting across from him it was hard to lie to the face of one of the few people who didn't treat him like a freak or an experiment or an objected to be admired on a distant pedestal. After all, this man had saved his life on more than one occasion, and shielded him from Hojo during his recovery after an assassination attempt. He decided to trust Raker's discretion with the whole story, whether the surgeon believed him or not.
Raker's face remained neutral except for his eyes, which widened more and more as Sephiroth went on. Finally, when Sephiroth finished, the doctor let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I knew if there was someone who would come back from the dead, it would be you. The goddess seems to favor you none the less."
"I suppose..." Sephiroth murmured.
"They say that the gods judge you not by how much you love, but how much you are loved by others: whether you believe it or not, you were loved; unfortunately just not by the people who should have loved you by default, but all the young people you inspired; the soldiers who would lay down their lives for you; the towns you saved from monsters, that's a kind of love too. Not to mention... well no, I'll not mention him as it looks like a touchy subject."
Sephiroth smiled wanly. "Thank you. Though this second life is all so... new."
Raker shook his head. "It's a whole new world even for the people who lived through it. I was lucky I got out and moved back here before things really hit the fan with ShinRa. It wasn't the same after you and Zack... 'disappeared' and Winchester was killed by an Avalanche attack."
"Things had changed long before then," Sephiroth said softly.
Raker nodded slowly, knowing things were never quite the same since Genesis and Angeal had "departed". "Yes... It was just more noticeable then."
Seeing Sephiroth's progressively maudlin expression, Raker decided it was time to change the subject.. "I'm sorry..." He cleared his throat. "So you are looking to get into the nursing program?"
Sephiroth straightened himself a little more, focusing on his reason for his visit here, "Yes. Tifa and I were discussing my options for a career, and this appealed to me the most."
"Well, having you assist me before in emergency situations on the battlefield," Raker stated, "I can say that I've already witnessed your precision with sharp objects and attention to detail, not to mention your ability to absorb vast amounts of information in a short period of time – you practically read through all of my medical school books while you recovered from your assassin injury."
"They were intriguing... learning how the various systems and chemicals work to keep the body alive."
"The question is, are you willing to be taught and have someone else telling you what to do?" Raker smirked a little in challenge.
"Even in SOLDIER before I became general, I was able to take orders from a superior officer." Sephiroth explained firmly. "I am a professional and I will act in a professional manner. And...with a little bit of feeling too, as I know I will be dealing with wounded people… Cloud and the children have helped me with that aspect," Sephiroth finished with a small smile.
"Good answer," Raker nodded in approval. "All right; I'll get you in"
"Thank you, doctor." The Jade eyes did indeed reflect the former-general's gratitude.
"Well, everyone deserves a second chance – particularly you," the surgeon stated matter-of-factly. "If the planet deemed you worthy enough to have a second chance, far be it from me to stand in your way. And even if the planet hadn't, I would still help you, for all those who didn't when you needed it."
"Thank you…" It was a barely audible whisper.
"You're welcome." Raker said with a small smile. "So I'll take you back to the main desk and Janice will have you fill out an application, I'll handle it personally. Do you have any identification papers, birth certificate and such?"
"I have my birth certificate here, as well as proof of schooling." The paperwork was then presented to Raker.
Raker took the papers and began to look through them carefully to ensure Sephiroth had everything needed so the application process would go as smoothly as possible. "Well, I will say this: there was one thing good you got out of that mad scientist; you got a good education on anatomy and physiology, that will definitely give you a leg up. Oh, I remember when you took that cadaver lab, poor Alfred called me up to teach the class when he heard you were coming."
"That was an enjoyable experience, to understand the pieces that make up a whole organism, rather than how to best kill someone."
"Still, you did very well at getting the skull open. A neurosurgeon couldn't have done it better. And don't worry about that one student: we always have at least one or two fainters at that part," Raker said with an amused smile tugging at his lips.
"If you cannot handle the sight of blood or organs, why go to a cadaver lab?" Sephiroth wondered aloud with his usual blunt honesty.
Raker shrugged. "Well it's one of those things where don't know how you're going to react until you're there. I mean, seeing a skinned knee is one thing, but seeing even a dead person's skull opened is a little alarming. But that being said, some of my finest colleagues were fainters at that first lab; they fainted once and never again.
"Some of the best SOLDIERs were those most afraid when holding a weapon for the first time," Sephiroth allowed.
"Just goes to show first impressions can be deceiving," Raker said with a soft chuckle.
Thinking of a certain, skinny, wide-eyed, slack-jawed blonde trooper, Sephiroth found that logic infallible, "They can indeed..."
000
The children were practically bouncing out of their seats when they all arrived at the Chocobo farm. Cloud knew the owner quite well and was always welcome. He pulled up near one of the pastures where some of the large birds were grazing. It was the perfect time of the year to come, for the baby Chocobos had hatched and were just allowed to go outside with their mothers. A chorus of friendly wharks greeted them as the children ran up to the fence.
"Ooooh! Look at the little ones!" Marlene cooed, as a gaggle of chicks bustled to the front, chirping and clacking their little beaks, eyes eager to see these 'new things.'
Much to Cloud's chagrin, and annoyance, he received more than a little undue attention from some of the yellow chocobos, a big female in particular was following him, wharking and warbling at him. "Shoo! Go away!"
While trying to shield his hair from the prying beak, Cloud snuck a glance over at Sephiroth who was petting a large blue chocobo. It was quite a relieving site; most chocobos could read the intentions of others and either attack or panic if they sensed danger, so for the big male chocobo to stand so calmly and be petted indicated that Sephiroth indeed had a good heart and Jenova was well suppressed.
Sephiroth looked over and could not suppress a small smile as more chocobos began to crowd Cloud, including the chocobo he had been petting. Instead Sephiroth knelt down, peering through the opening between the wood posts at a small chocobo hiding near a bush. With a few soft clicks of his tongue and a few whistles he beckoned the shy baby chocobo over.
Marlene clapped her hands and skipped over to stand next to Sephiroth and pet the baby too.
Sephiroth smiled at the adorable sight of Marlene petting the baby. Since she and Denzel had sort of adopted him as their big brother, they were the only people since Genesis and Angeal who could block out Jenova's voice completely. Their innocent happiness constantly reminded Sephiroth of all the things he did cherish in life and wanted to protect. Things that Jenova and his own desire for vengeance made him forget and want to destroy the world for the evils done to him.
There was a loud yelp and Sephiroth almost laughed when he saw Cloud trying to free a bit of his hair from the beak of a large female. Denzel meanwhile had no trouble laughing as hard as he could.
"Brings back old memories, doesn't it Cloud?" Sephiroth called over.
Cloud finally pulled his hair free and took a few steps away from the adoring birds, before giving his head a shake to let his spikey hair bounce back in place on its own.
"That one time we were the chocobo stables back in SOLDIER," Sephiroth elaborated going back to petting the baby chocobo. "Zack had brought you there to show you his mount, Zeke."
Cloud frowned in confusion, trying to remember exactly what Sephiroth was referring to, his memories from before the labs was still occasionally fractured and vague. The image of a barn came to his mind... and Zack laughing hysterically... but why...?
An expression of horror came to Cloud's features as in a rush the memories came back to him.
"What happened?" Denzel asked of Sephiroth, knowing well enough that Cloud wasn't going to tell him. Cloud cleared his throat, than twitched when the Chocobo who had held his hair captive let out a rather loud 'whark!'*
Sephiroth continued the story with a slight smirk in Cloud's direction. "Well an egg of one of the mare chocobos was broken and her maternal instincts hadn't quite subsided yet. Apparently the urge to parent was so strong it was looking for something with the slightest resemblance to a chick to nurture, and apparently in that state it could not tell the difference between feathers and hair. And with Cloud's choice of hair style, it thought Cloud was its long lost chick."
"My hair was NOT like a Chocobo's! The stupid bird probably had vision problems!" Cloud snarled over the children's laughter."
Sephiroth frowned. "That was one of my best chocobos..."
Marlene's eyes grew sad and hugged the baby chocobo. "The poor Chocobo! It just wanted its baby!"
Denzel now quite recovered from his giggles nodded at Marlene. "Like Seph said. And Tifa always tells us grief can do weird stuff to you."
"Well it wasn't very fun being sat on." Cloud grumbled indignantly, a little louder than he intended.
The two kids looked at Cloud, then at each other and then back at Cloud before bursting out in laughter at the mental image.
"She SAT on you?" Denzel howled, laughter overtaking him again.
"And then began to preen him." Sephiroth added simply, with a "That's what you get for insulting my Chocobo," smirk.
However, seeing Cloud flush bright red and look away total humiliated, Sephiroth decided to be merciful and finish the story. "We gave the chocobo a tranquilizer and managed to get her off him, but not before Zack snapped a few pictures."
"He would..." But a smile still twitched at his Cloud's lips, because Zack would've also safe guarded the pictures from anyone else.
Well, with maybe ONE exception.
0000
On the car ride home, the kids chatted excited back and forth about the chocobos and the multicolored fallen feathers they had collected. Sephiroth meanwhile stared distantly out the window, a content expression on his face, silently reminiscing about better days and not feeling sad over them.
Then in the distance, not long after they had crossed the border back into the wastelands, Sephiroth saw a glint of something white on a nearby ridge. His sharp vision focused on the object trying discern what it was and if it was dangerous or not. He felt his heart stop when he realized what it was.
A white wing.
"Cloud stop the car!" Sephiroth ordered firmly.
On instinct Cloud did as he was ordered before asking questions. When he stopped, he realized what he was doing. But before he could even ask, Sephiroth was already out the door and running toward the ridge.
As Sephiroth neared the ridge he started to make out a figure along with the wing. They were tall, dark and broad figured, just like …..
In a flash with one sweep of the wing, the figure was gone. Still Sephiroth continued to the top of the ridge. For the second time in a few minutes Sephiroth felt as if his heart might stop. There in the ground, where the figure had been standing a moment before was a Banora White sapling.
When Cloud made his way up to the ridge he found Sephiroth on his knees before a small tree. It was strange to see something so green and pristine amongst the great dry dirt. Even odder than its very existence in this wasteland was the glowing light around the tree. He had seen this light before; it had surrounded Aerith and Zack when they said their final good-bye after the second defeat of Seph-no Jenova.
Looking down at Sephiroth kneeling by the tree, Cloud couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity. He looked like...
Then it hit him like a bolt of lightning. He had been here before, in this place, in this very spot; not one of Zack's memories but his own. He had been staring down at Zack who was kneeling in front of a small dead tree. Just after Angeal...
Zack had been crying then, one of the only times he had ever seen the jovial SOLDIER shed tears.
Cloud blinked coming back to himself in time to see Sephiroth's shoulders begin to shake. Automatically he reached out and put hand on the silver haired man's shoulder. Sephiroth froze at the touch, and Cloud regretted not remembering Sephiroth's penchant for not showing emotions in front of others.
"It's okay," Cloud said quietly, the only thing his racing mind could come up with. "I miss them too."
"Do you think sins are ever truly forgiven?" Sephiroth asked his voice hoarse.
Before the attempted reunion, Cloud had asked himself that many times and for once he found a satisfying answer. "Yeah, but has to come from both sides; forgiveness from them, your forgiveness to others who wronged you... and forgive yourself for mistakes."
"I may be beyond such," Sephiroth whispered, still not looking around.
"If you were, the planet wouldn't have sent you back; Aerith and Zack wouldn't have helped you; and Tifa and I wouldn't have taken you in." Cloud said calmly.
There was a moment of thick silence, before Sephiroth let out a breath and turned his head slightly so half of his face could be seen behind his bangs. A faint "thank you" smile tugged at his lips.
"I think there is only person I need forgiveness from now," Sephiroth looked back at the tree and gently ran his fingers down the trunk. "...before I can forgive myself."
Cloud stood quietly, allowing the wind to blow through his hair.
"May I be alone for a moment? This place once belonged to a friend of mine. I am ready to mourn as I could not before, because I didn't know how." Sephiroth brushed the back of his hand against the soft leaves of the tree.
Cloud nodded, and returned to the car and the kids.
"Cloud! Is Sephiroth okay?" Denzel got out of the truck when the other man approached.
"He misses some of his friends from a long time ago," Cloud said quietly.
"Does he need somebody to hold his hand?" Marlene asked.
"No Marlene," Cloud murmured, smiling to reassure the youngster, "It's a nice thought, but sometimes people need to be alone to work through things."
"Like you?" Marlene asked touching his arm where the geostigma used to be.
Cloud smiled a little and patted her head. "Yes. But in a slightly more healthy way then I did. He's just saying good-bye to a friend."
0000
The trip home was a mostly silent one with both Cloud and Sephiroth not speaking at all, and the children keeping their voices soft as if sensing sadness radiating off Sephiroth. When they pulled up to 7th Heaven, Cloud instructed the kids to go play for a while, knowing some peace and quiet for an hour or so would be good for Sephiroth…not to mention Cloud would have to handle a flustered Tifa at arriving home so late.
Tifa had the door open before they could even turn the knob. "What the hell took you so long? And no phonecall? If you answer 'Zolom', I'm kicking both your asses!"
"No... not a Zolom." Cloud said solemnly, which almost instantly quieted Tifa down; she'd seen that expression before, and it was no time to riding their butts.
Sephiroth brushed past both of them without a word, using his bangs as a curtain to conceal his expression.
"What happened out there?" Tifa asked, all anger lost and genuine concern in her voice, "Did Sephiroth not get into the program? Did one of the Chocobos die in front of the kids? What?"
"We found the tree," Cloud murmured.
"Tree? What tr-" A small gasp, "You mean..."
"It's alive."
Tifa quickly braced herself against the wall. "How...?"
Cloud shook his head wearily. "I don't know..." Slowly, a faint smile tugged at his lips as he remembered that ethereal moment when he saw Aerith and Zack in the church just after his last fight with Yazoo and Loz. "Magic I guess... Sephiroth said he saw white wings near it, but only for a moment."
"Well... I've always believed in magic... and angels." Tifa said somewhat wistfully, than turned to look to where Sephiroth had disappeared, "Should I...?"
Cloud halted her from following Sephiroth. "Maybe not right now, he's dealing with some bad memories. I think he had an attack earlier."
"You think? You didn't see it?"
"I left him alone to grieve for a while. First time he's had to. He came back shaking," Cloud said stoically.
"Still!" Tifa insisted quietly.
"Well obviously he dealt with it; he's got to learn how to deal with it by himself," Cloud said firmly.
"And if he hadn't?"
"First Tsuguri would have blood on it, and then the kids would be crying." Cloud said sadly.
Tifa pressed her lips together, more chastisement on her mind, but it seemed rather pointless... and there was a familiar sadness in Cloud's blue eyes, so she knew it wasn't just Sephiroth who'd had memories stirred up. "Just... be more careful next time, okay?"
Cloud nodded, his head still bowed slightly in that sad way Tifa had seen before, as if Cloud was trying to shut out the world. There was only one cure for that, so she went over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him into a loose hug, and, seeing as the kids were elsewhere, snatched a kiss from his lips.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
Cloud looked back at Tifa and thought about Sephiroth's apparent love for Genesis that stretched even beyond death. And yet they had been fated to part from one another with only cruel words as parting speeches. It made him ache wondering if such a thing could happen to him and Tifa. Life and happiness were strong and yet so fragile that it could be taken away at any second. If, Gaia forbid, that should ever happen to them, Cloud wanted to be sure that Tifa always knew that she was his world.
"When was the last time I told you I loved you?" Cloud asked softly.
"Mmmm, too long ago." Tifa told him, impish little smile curving her lips beautifully.
"I love you..."
"I'll always love you, Chocobo-head."
0000
Chica's Chatter: And we end with sweet fluff. ^^
Vega: Always a good way to end!