AUTHOR'S NOTE: Slight 'R' rating for this chapter, just to be on the safe side. (original 2005 posting)

Chapter 12
The Monster Unleashed

My copper eyes twitched; one after the other. I glanced, disgruntled, at the pile of papers already an inch thick in the folder across the table. I had only been there for three weeks now, and already my name was known throughout the building and I had eight charges of assault on my record. Really, there were only three fights, but they were against more than one person and they all placed charges even though they were the ones who started the fights. I hardly noticed the dull throbbing ache in my knuckles or the fresh bruise on my cheek below the black eye I got five days ago. The headmaster of the boarding school turned in his chair to face me with three more charges against me in his hands.

He looked over the rim of his wire framed glasses and glared at me with coal black eyes. He was a little man with a big head (both physically and metaphorically speaking) and a sharp little nose with a mole on the side. He was balding and by the time he would be fifty (in a couple of years) he would have a shiny ping-pong ball for a head with a black ring of hair around his skull. He cleared his throat and croaked, "This is the second time this week, Sohma-san."

He regarded me closely to see how I would react. My eyes merely twitched again. He only still referred to me as "Sohma-san" because I told him that I hated being addressed so formally. When I told him it made my blood boil, he stopped. However, when I first started causing problems, he took up the formalities again just to piss me off. Last time I almost gave him a black eye, but I didn't want to go back to the "quiet room" again, so I held myself down.

Not only was this an all-boys' boarding school, but it also had a small "correctional" facility in the west-wing where the white rooms turn red in the setting sun's bloody glow. I'd been there three times already during my short stay here, all because of the three fights I had. The rooms alone were enough to turn anyone crazy.

Or suicidal.

The headmaster's beady black eyes broke their piercing hold on mine as he carefully tucked the three new assault charges into my file folder.

"This has got to stop, Sohma-san," he said unnervingly.

"I didn't start them," I muttered stubbornly. "I never start them; I merely-"

"Finish them; yes I know. And you do a fine job at that, Sohma-san," he responded with sarcasm, "but I don't think you need to knock each and every tooth out of their mouths in the process."

"They asked for it," I replied coldly.

He stared at me hardly. "I know, Sohma-san, but it's still quite unnecessary in the act of self-defence. I'm afraid that we will have to take some more serious, drastic measures in order to stop this. You've become a danger to others and yourself."

I snorted, fingering the beads around my wrist.

'You have no idea.'

...…...

The following morning I awoke from another dream of her.

Tohru.

I was holding her in my arms under the blindingly bright sunlight. There was a tree with a bench sitting under it; the tree had lost nearly all of its bright red and orange leaves. For some reason, we were crying.

I had woken up feeling warm and almost happy.

Almost.

I instinctively licked the scab below my wrist where my beads rested. I only had myself to blame for that. Sure, I had reason to be where I was, but the cut on my wrist was purely my own fault.

Soon the door to my pitch-black cell opened and a man threw a towel in my face. "Get up and clean up," he grunted.

Curled up in a ball on the damp stone floor, like a cat trapped at the bottom of a well, I yawned and rubbed my eyes sleepily. I would have stretched, taken the time to unwind every single kink in my strained body, but the man that tossed the towel in my face pulled me to my feet and pushed me toward the public bath.

The school's bath was one big steaming swimming pool. Located in the basement of the school (as was the location of the cell I spent the night in), everyone was supposed to bathe there. There was always one teacher supervising the bath, but only in such emergency cases for drowning. In the bath, anything goes. Anything. The teachers turn a blind eye on everything. They really don't care if you're being towel-whipped or have shampoo squirted in your eye. They don't give a damn unless you're drowning; drowning is the one and only time they will intervene.

The guys always asked me why I wore my bracelet. Like I would tell them the truth! They first noticed it when I went into the bath, wondering why I didn't take it off. When I first arrived here, when no one knew who I was, I told them that a girl I made a promise to long ago gave it to me. I told them that she was always being bullied, so I told her I'd protect her. In exchange for protection, she made me this beaded bracelet that would "ward off demons and bad luck". The guys bought this sap story, and laughed off my "if you ever talk shit about her, I'll beat the living crap out of you!" threat. A week later, a guy was trying to give me a hard time, so he spoke ill of Tohru (the girl I'd sworn to protect), calling her "easy" and "loose". It was the first time anyone tried to personally piss me off. I tried to shake it off, but when he lunged for the beads, I knew I could not just stand back in the shadows and let them expose my other form. That happened here, in the bath, and thus began the series of fights and assault charges.

My attendant, who was really a teacher taking the next supervising shift, pushed me into the deserted change room and ordered me to "change and dip". I heard him and shed my clothes quickly, looking forward to the warm, soothing water. I pushed open the change room door and entered the steaming bathing area. The tropical-like air hit me like a tidal wave, but I welcomed it as an awakening change from the damp, cold air of the cell I had spent the night in. Along with the heat wave blew dozens of voices: laughing, shouting, yelling and gurgling mixed with splashing water.

'I'm not going to be here long,' I told myself silently, walking toward the big hot pool. 'It's just in and out-no problems should come of it.'

I walked down the steps that led into the water, sighing contently by it's soothing warmth. A few guys saw me coming and hurried to the other side of the pool, whispering sharply to each other and shooting nervous glances at me. Didn't bother me. I never liked the guys here anyway. All I wanted was to be left alone. I never even wanted to be here.

I dipped my head into the therapeutic water. The heat relaxed my strained muscles and calmed my mind and soul. When I opened my eyes, I saw this punk named Suguru and four of his equally delinquent lackeys. The sneer on Suguru's face proved that trouble was coming.

I groaned inwardly. 'Can't a guy have a moment's peace without first resorting to kicking some punk's ass?'

"Hey Sohma," Suguru chanted, "want some shampoo?"

"Shampoo?" All of my stuff was still up in my room. I had no shampoo, conditioner or soap with me as I just came from the cell with only the towel the teacher threw at me. I knew that if I wasn't careful, I could end up in a whole lot more trouble with these guys.

"Yeah, here," Suguru smirked, tossing the bottle into my hands, "have some."

'This is a prank. They're just trying to piss you off so you can get into more trouble.'

Sure enough, each pair of their eyes glanced at the bottle in my hands and grinned. I cautiously opened it-while appearing casual to their eyes-and took a whiff of the contents without bringing the bottle closer to my face. In one swift motion, I snapped the lid and tossed it back at them.

"Sorry, I'm not into baking soda and vinegar in my shampoo," I told them coldly. I turned and pulled myself out of the pool. I'd wash myself some other time, when no one else was in the pool: during class. For now, I had to leave before Suguru cause me more trouble.

"Hey Sohma!"

'Not happening,' I thought at the idea of avoiding conflict. I stopped, dripping naked by the pool side. Turning around to face the dork and his buddies, I flexed my muscles as I crossed my arms in front of my chest stubbornly. If it was a fight they wanted, they might as well get a good look at what they were dealing with.

"I don't have time for this Suguru," I grumbled, "just tell me what you want and be done with it. Or would you rather I publicly castrated you with my bare hands?"

'Not that I even want to go there with my hands!'

I cracked my knuckles, flexing my muscles that rippled beneath my skin once again to intimidate them, while inwardly shuddering again about going down there.

If he had been by himself, he would have taken off with his hands covering his groin. However, he received encouraging nods and glances from his buddies, not to mention he had an image and reputation to maintain as well.

"You talk pretty big, Sohma, but deep down you're just a coward; a big old scaredy-cat," he jeered.

'Is it that obvious that I'm the cat? Jeez, it's always my luck…'

"Whatever. When you got some balls and wanna start something, you can come and pick a fight with me later when you're wearing pants. You got nothing I wanna see," I grumbled.

Suguru started making nasty cat-calls when I turned my back and left the bath. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my waist, leaving the pool area and change room. It was white and soft, but it reminded me of the thin dusty sheet I tied around my waist in the abandoned house with Tohru. Her heat, her smell, her touch-I remembered all of it… even if it was a dream. And a dream it was because it was too good to have ever be real. It could have never been real.

'Ah shit!' I kicked a trash can over angrily, spilling its contents onto the floor. 'Why can't I get her out of my head?'

The day we went to see Akito-four weeks ago, if I remembered correctly-was the last time I saw her. I mean, I saw her in dreams after that, but they were only that-dreams. In my fevered state when I was ill, I dreamed we ran away from the Honke during the most horrible storm of the year and hid in an abandoned house where we…

'Dammit!' I slammed my fist into a wall, cursing my blushing cheeks.

I heard voices ahead around a corner and quickly dashed into the closest room, which happened to be a bathroom.

'I can't let people see my weakness!'

I looked around at my surroundings and walked in front of one of the sinks. I stared back at my bare-chested reflection in the mirror. The dark purple bruises on my cheek and my eye stood out hauntingly against my red face.

'I can't blush! They'll know I'm weak!'

My hands hastily turned on the cold water from the tap and splashed some on my flushed face to cool it down. I looked back at my glistening face in the mirror-the face of a monster.

'It's my fault we're not still together. I sent her away. If we didn't go to see Akito, she wouldn't have sacrificed herself,' I thought darkly. I glared at my reflection with loathing. 'It's your own fault that she's gone. It's your fault you're here. You ruined everything!'

The eight o'clock bell rang, warning the students that classes started in half an hour. It was a bell that meant, "it you haven't risen, you should," and "if you haven't eaten breakfast, now's the time". The thought of food reminded me of Tohru's home-cooked meals, which were way better than the slop they fed us here. I'd give anything just to eat her food again….

I splashed some more cool water on my face before exiting and walked down the hallways in my towel to my room to put some clothes on.

...…...

School was out at three o'clock. As soon as the bell rang, I was out those front doors and wandering around the courtyard for a quiet place to sit and think. I never could stand being cooped up in a house all day. Besides, it was never quiet in there and the kids were always watching me in fear of me bursting into a monster for no reason. The funny part is, they're closer than they think-especially when they're trying to get my bracelet off.

There was a ten foot tall concrete wall surrounding the boarding school. I walked toward the front entry gates-prison bars in comparison-and pressed my cheeks against their cool surface.

'How much longer will I be imprisoned here?'

I knew it would be the remainder of my life because as soon as I graduated from high school through this boarding school, I'd be locked away in the cat's cage forever.

'I'll never be free again…'

"Hey Sohma!"

I heard the soft crunching of shoes on gravel approaching me; I turned and saw Suguru and his gang walking toward me from twenty feet away. The sneers on all five of their faces made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. Suguru's eyes and mine locked coldly.

'And so it comes to this… and it hasn't even been 24 hours since my last fight.'

"You think you're real tough, don't you Sohma?" Suguru jeered, cracking his knuckles. The two pairs of lackeys on both of this sides cracked their knuckles as well. "Once we're done smashing your face in, we'll see just how tough you really are."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" I cracked my neck from side to side. "Just what I need," I growled, "more punks trying to beat me." I cracked my knuckles. "And not only are they pathetic, but their threats are down-right degrading."

"You say that now," Suguru sneered, "but you don't know who you're dealing with. This is my school and we don't want you here."

"HA! That's funny because I don't even want to be here!"

"Hey, check out his girly bracelet!" the guy on Suguru's left laughed, jabbing Suguru sharply on the side with his elbow.

"Yeah, I heard about that bracelet," the other guy on Suguru's left said. "Apparently lover-boy here had a girlfriend."

"And he still wears it, even in the bath," declared one guy on Suguru's right. "What a pansy!"

They laughed. "Maybe we aught to take it off for him?" Suguru suggested, his voice dripping with venom.

"Yeah," said the first guy to point out my bracelet, "and I've been dying to rip it off for him."

"Over my dead body," I hissed.

He reached for my wrist, and calmly, I slapped his reaching arm away. He glared at me and I glared back. He dove in faster now, and faster yet, I slapped him away.

"NANI YO?" he yelled in frustration.

I grabbed his wrist and whirled around his back, twisting his wrist as I pulled it behind him, and pressed his arm flat against his back with his elbow pointed to the sky. I pushed up as he screamed in pain. I curled my lips and hissed into his ear, "You really suck, you know that?"

"T-Teme!" he choked out when he found that he couldn't move without ripping his arm from his socket. His eyes were clamped shut, his face contorted in pain.

"Kuso!" swore the last guy on Suguru's left. He ran forward and threw himself on top of my back. Swift as a striking cobra, I released the first guy-who fell forward, groaning in pain-and flipped the second guy on my back over my shoulder, smashing him onto the first guy. They both crashed to the ground with a thud.

"You both suck balls," I declared maliciously.

The last two of Suguru's lackeys flew forward, throwing random punches at my face in hopes that one of them would hit me. Quickly blocking them and throwing perfect punches that met their targets, I battled the four while Suguru stood back and watched, no doubt studying my tactics. A hot, sticky liquid splattered on my left cheek; the blood spurted from the nose of Guy 2, which I had presently broken. He ran away, cupping his nose in his hands; blood seeped from between his fingers and left a slight trail of dots behind him in the dust.

'One down, three more to go plus Suguru,' I thought, deflecting a kick to my head while taking a blow to my lower back.

'Dammit! I'm getting distracted!'

I drew in a controlled, calming breath after I kicked Guy 1 to the ground in a bloody, bruised heap. He didn't get up. Guy 3 and 4 had taken a break too to catch their breaths. Guy 3 rubbed his knuckles, which were sore from all the punching that was leading him nowhere, and Guy 4 wiped some blood leaking out from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Guy 4's dark brown eyes glanced quickly at Guy 3's ice blue ones.

"Dammit! This guy's good!" the third guy grumbled to his equally failing partner.

"No shit Sherlock," Guy 4 growled back.

"I'll let you know," I said, wiping the sweat from my brow, "that my father's a martial arts master and I have a black belt in karate."

"Teme…" Guy 3 muttered under his breath.

"Run away if you wish, I don't give a damn," I remarked coldly, "or you'll end up looking like that guy there," I said pointing to Guy 1 on the ground. "Consider this your final warning."

"Kuso…" Guy 4 mumbled.

I proceeded to crack my knuckles when they refused to budge. "Very well. Don't say I didn't warn you."

I lunged at them, throwing accurate punches that left them winded and gasping for air, and kicks that knocked my opponents off their feet. The two were already exhausted when round two started; they didn't last much longer. Soon I had sent them both flying through the air before they smacked limply on the ground. Blood, sweat and dirt covered my face, and the only blood that was mine came from a small cut above my eyebrow. The fight between me and the four guys lasted a solid five minutes, but it wore me out. I had fallen out of shape since I arrived here because it was almost impossible to practise anywhere without being disturbed.

And now it was down to me and Suguru.

"I under-estimated you, Sohma. You took on four guys and still beat them with only a scratch and a couple of bruises," Suguru sneered. "But unlike them," he declared, positioning himself before getting ready to attack, "I too have a black belt in martial arts."

With that, Suguru lunged forward and began throwing punches. I blocked them as best as I could, but half of them still met their target. I staggered back, tasting a familiar metallic taste in my mouth. I spat out the blood on the ground. He was faster than I expected. He motioned for me to make the next move; I lunged forward. Our movements were swift, almost a blur. Within moments, I could feel myself wearing out. My punches were slower, and my movements to avoid his attacks were more sluggish. I could hardly catch my breath. I wasn't the only one; Suguru was panting as well.

"As… soon as… you fall… Sohma," he declared in a staggered breath, "you're bracelet… is my prize…. I'll take it… from you… and all… of your dreams too…"

"You… say that now…" I gasped, "but wait… until you get it first… which you never will!"

Violently, I punched him in the stomach before whirling around and kicking him in the face as he bent forward from the blow to the stomach. He flew over and crashed to the gravel. He stirred once before going limp. "Y-You're… an… animal… Sohma…" he groaned before collapsing.

Massaging my bloody and bruised knuckles and shaking out my hands, I panted, "I warned you… not to mess… with me."

"Sohma!"

I heard the teachers of the school calling me and running toward me across the yard. But what frightened me more was when I heard her gasp;

"K-Kyo…?"

My heart stopped.

I whirled around to the front gate and saw Tohru standing there on the other side of the bars with tears of fear and utter horror running down her cheeks.

"T-Tohru…?"

I couldn't believe it! She was here! But how…?

Why was she crying so painfully?

"K-Kyo-kun…" she sobbed. She stepped back. "How… how could you?" she wailed.

'Shit!'

I looked around me, at the bruised bodies that littered the ground, their blood seeping into the gravel… she saw it all!

'No!'

The proof was around me; the horrible truth of how ruthless I was could not be denied.

"Tohru!"

I never wanted her to see this side of me….

"Y-You're a horrible person K-Kyo-kun!"

"Tohru! I-"

'I'm such an idiot!'

"You're a monster!" she sobbed. Before she ran away, she shouted the words I never wanted to hear her call me;

"BAKA MONO!"

I crumpled to my knees.

'She… didn't forget me…. That means, everything that I thought was just a delirious dream… was all real. She remembers me! And I…'

My eyes widened in horror.

'And I've become everything I've feared!'

Something struck the back of my head.

Hard.

The last thought I had before my world went black was:

'I'm a monster!'

...…...

When I came around, I was entangled in a straight jacket in a padded white room. The sun was setting. I could tell because the red light came pouring through the single, solitary, small barred window just below the ceiling, splashing the walls in a blood red hue.

This was it.

I knew I was going to go insane. If I wasn't insane already, this room, the "quiet room", would do the trick for me.

I couldn't stand it.

The throbbing in my head was making the walls bleed before my eyes. I rolled around on the ground. There was this noise filling the room. This shrill, terrifying noise was in my ears, in my head. I hadn't realized that the sound I heard was my own screaming.

I had to get out.

I had to get out of there. This constricting jacket around me, I had to get it off me before I lost my mind.

Like a silk worm weaving a beautiful cocoon of silver thread, I wriggled around. Where was the being that took the silk away to weave cloths? Where was the person who would free me of this self-containing cocoon? I tried to free myself, wriggling, struggling, battling with myself to try and get the jacket off… but I was unsuccessful.

The room was darkening as the sun was setting.

'I'm a monster!'

She had seen everything. There was no hope anymore. She had found me, meaning she had remembered me; her memories weren't erased; she came looking for me, meaning she still had feelings for me; she still loved me!

But she had seen it all and ran away from me! Who knows how long she had been standing there, watching me beat those guys one by one to a bloody pulp….

'I'm a monster!'

Groaning in agony, I pulled my left arm from its socket, which made it possible for me to escape the jacket. Finally, I was free! I collapsed to the ground with the jacket by my side; panting, my world was spinning around me. The room was almost completely black except for the silver moonlight cascading in.

I shivered, feeling the cold, late September air chilling the marrows of my bones.

'Tohru…' I thought painfully, curling up in a ball on my side, cradling my limp arm close to my chest. I began to cry softly.

'Tohru… I'm sorry!'

I sat up, feeling hot tears roll down my bruised cheeks. I looked down at my wrist, the beads of my bracelet reflected the little light that poured in from the window. The beads that held back the monster…

I ripped them off and whipped them across the room.

'I'm so sorry!'

My body mutated; my arm, which I had pulled out of its socket, hung limply by my side in my hideous form. I looked at the large claws on my one good, deformed hand.

'Tohru, I…'

I jammed my eyes shut and slashed my limp arm with my claws. The black blood seeped out, covering my arm and dripped on the padded white floor.

I didn't even feel the pain.

I opened my eyes and dug one of my single sharp claws deep into the soft under part of my limp arm. Blood oozed down as I sliced deeper and deeper.

'I'm sorry Tohru…'

Soon, my conscious being was drifting away into sleep, ultimately surrounded in thick blackness.

I couldn't stand it anymore… being who I was and all I had done…

'I'm a monster…'

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Don't hurt me!

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING!