A/N: Thankyou for reading this so far :) I'm really enjoying the feedback and typing it. Back to Bella's POV now for the next little bit.

Chapter 13:

Bella's POV

When I got into the house, it was empty. After spending so much time with Jake and laughing in the car , I tensed up hearing complete silence. This was one of the times I wished Charlie was home earlier. I knew he'd be back about seven to start getting things ready for the party. It was only about two in the afternoon. I actually sighed looking at the clock. I'd have to wait a little more than another six hours before I saw Jacob again.

I carried my duffel bag up into my room and emptied all of the contents. I put the travel bag I used for my travel toiletries in the bathroom cupboard. I put the hanging zipper bag that held my amazing outfit onto the back of the door. I'd have to drop it off at the dry cleaners when I had a chance tomorrow or on Tuesday on my way to work. I put my socks and dirty underwear along with the shirt I wore the other day into a small pile of dirty clothes. I went to my hamper and emptied out more of the dark contents and went downstairs and threw them in the wash for a quick wash cycle. I had 15 minutes to relax til I had to move again.

I went back upstairs and emptied the last contents of my bag onto the edge of my bed. All that remained was my sleep shirt and my sleep pants from last night. I sat on my bed and picked them up, running the cotton fabric through my hands. I leaned in and sniffed them. They smelled like Jake, it was the closest thing to having him here right now. I laid against my pillow with my sleep shirt in my hand just under my nose. I couldn't help but close my eyes and think of Jacob and him holding me. I felt so safe and so warm in his arms.

I kept replaying a lot of the events from last night and from the past while in my mind. Everything flashed quickly behind my eyelids. The times Jacob and I spent without any interruption. When he taught me to ride a motorcycle and took care of me after I had crashed the bike ,and hit my head on a rock. It was when I realized he was changing, his body was adjusting to what he was becoming. When he visited my room, the night after he told me that we couldn't be friends anymore. I was so tired but when I figured it out, it wasn't what had me scared. I was more scared thinking that he was killing people.

When I found out the only thing the wolves ever did was hunt vampires, I realized that I was more worried about his well being. I wanted him safe, out of harms way. The thought of him kissing me on top of that mountain, before the newborn battle. It was the only time since that I'd shown my true feelings for Jacob. He was the reason I remained the way I was, he was the reason I remained human. The thought of his lips on mine all I could do was sigh his name at the thought of it.

I heard the loud and annoying buzzing sound meaning the wash was done to be thrown into the dryer. I was annoyed. I didn't want to be snapped back to reality just yet. I wanted to hold onto the thought of his lips on mine just for a little while longer. The annoying buzzing sound was drowning out all the good thoughts. I finally groaned and got up, running downstairs and almost tripping down the third to the last step down. I might not be that clumsy anymore but I still am clumsy. I emptied the washed clothes into the dryer.

I had to find the dryer sheets, they were on a shelf above the washing machine. I wished I was taller as I climbed halfway on top of the washing machine to move the box of dryer sheets to drop. They dropped onto the washing machine creating a loud banging sound that rang out in the house. I began humming a tune while I threw a dryer sheet in the dryer and turned it on. I had 45 minutes for that cycle. I was so thankful for that.

I ran back upstairs almost climbing with my four limbs so I wouldn't risk me falling down the stairs. I went back into my room and went straight to my computer. I was still humming that tune and it reminded me I had to look up that one song from Alicia Keys. I turned it on and I crawled back onto my bed with my Jacob scented sleep shirt against my nose.

It would take a while for the computer to boot up. That was fine by me, I could play thoughts in my head til then. I closed my eyes again playing a few other things through my mind. When Jacob and I were on La Push beach, after I found out that he was a werewolf. "I'm sorry I'm not the right kind of monster for you..." His voice echoed in my head. Then, the thought of the night before that. I told him we could run away if it was too hard to get away from Sam. "I would, run away with you...if I could.."

The thought ran through my mind for a minute of the what ifs.

What if Jacob and I had ran away that night? I couldn't help but think of the position I was in now. Neither of us knew much about imprinting or anything at that point, or at least that's what I think. It would've been easier for me to fall for Jacob. It would've been like breathing like he always said. We wouldn't have to worry so much we would just BE. I couldn't help but regret that decision. We should've ran away, things would've been or at least would've seemed so much easier. We would've just been together, not a care in the world.

I finally heard the chiming tune for the operating system kicking on. All the programs opened up and I got up and closed each one and opened firefox. Quil was really good at computers and told me to start using it since it saved me from most pop ups now. The screen loaded and I typed in Alicia Keys. The first results were of her current song, which was the one I had seen on TV last night. I clicked the link and waited for the video to fully stream before I played it. When the bar was full I hit play and watched the old truck, almost a bit older than mine go down the street and stopping at her door. I listened to the song more intently this time, only paying little attention to the video. I only heard the beginning of the second verse and nothing else after that. I still listened to the entire song, letting it ripple through my body like a wave on an ocean. The second verse starting to make the ripples turn into waves. The waves seemed to thrash harder into my soul as I listened to the parts that I had missed out on last night.

I know you once said to me

"This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be"

Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually?

If we gon' do something 'bout it

We should do it right now

You give me a feeling that I never felt before

And I deserve it, I know I deserve it

It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore

It's what we make it

I was wondering maybe

Could I make you my baby

If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy

Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm sayin'

If you ask me I'm ready

If you ask me I'm ready

It rippled through my very core, almost giving me enough strength to give into my emotions with Jake. I felt the chains hold me back, stopping me from giving it away so easily. Then I heard the next part and I felt a chain break within me.

Why give up before we try

Feel the lows before the highs

Spread our wings before we fly away

I can't say I came prepared

I'm suspended in the air

Won't you come be in the sky with me.

It was just a music video but that very part was the part that sent a tidal wave against my chest. It made my breathing ragged as I felt my eyes start to sting. I saw the man in the video was bloody and beaten, he had fought to be with her. He even yelled out if he had not been good enough for her. She walked away with her other friends. You could tell not only was the man's pride broken, but so was his heart. After all that, he still came back, waiting on her. It was her decision to go to him. As the video ended, it never showed her decision, only her reaching for the door.

I wiped a tear that had given up trying to stay in my eye and hit the replay button. I tried to sing along with it. Finally after about the fifth time of the video running I played the song and sang my heart out. Turning up my speakers for the computer as high as I could. For that one moment, I was giving into my feelings. With no one there it was easier, but it still felt good to get some of it off of my chest.

I looked at the clock and noticed I had 10 minutes to myself before I had to get the clothes out of the dryer. I put the song on one more time and layed my head on the pillow and inhaled his smell. The thought of Jacob ran through my mind replaced in that video. Bruised and broken asking why he wasn't good enough.

"Jake you are good enough.." I said to myself almost wanting to cry again. I had to control my emotions. I couldn't let my emotions get the best of me. It's best if we are just friends ran through my mind. I wasn't going to deny to myself that I loved him. It was hard trying to ever be more to Jake, with worrying about him imprinting and leaving me behind, it just felt like love wasn't enough anymore. I wanted to talk to Jacob about it, I had told Jessica and Angela that I would. I just didn't know when the right time would be. I was scared about bad timing and ending up messing things up more. I could lose him even then. I shuddered at the thought of being without him.

I then heard the sound that the dryer was done. I went downstairs and emptied my dry clothes in the basket and carried them upstairs. I folded them neatly, wasting some time and tucking them perfectly in the drawers, to waste more time. My phone rang, I looked at my phone and realized that I had gotten 5 text messages from everyone from the party saying that they had gotten home safe. Mike had even sent me a message saying that he was feeling better and he wouldn't drink on my next birthday. My phone stopped ringing as I tried to exit out of the text messages, then it began to ring again. I finally was able to pick up.

"Hello?"
"Hey Bella!"

"Oh Alice, Hi!" It felt good to hear her voice again. I needed another pick me up.

"So, how did it go last night?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Is that good or bad news?" I could picture Alice putting her hands on her hips.

"It's great news actually. I danced with Jacob and I was actually... good at it." I could sense her shock on the other line.

"I never thought that would happen Bella! That's great! Did you get out there and dance with a lot of sexy guys?"

"No, just one sexy guy..." I trailed off. Why in the hell did I say sexy guy as in Jacob of all people to Alice?

"Who all went yesturday?"

"Well, there was Angela and Jessica of course. Tyler, Ben, Eric, Mike.."

"You mean, THE Mike Newton?"

"The one and only."

"Wow, how did that go?"

"Um, it's Mike Newton..." I heard her giggle.

"I called because I didn't want to be rude and just end up on your doorstep on the next day you're off so I was wondering..." She trailed off, obviously waiting for me to ask what it was.

"What is it Alice?"

"I wanted to know if I could come see you possibly this coming Friday?"

"Of course I don't mind Alice, you know I love having you here and Charlie would probably like to see you too." It was funny thinking that Alice could have Charlie eating out of her hand so easily.

"It's obvious you aren't around.. well.. someone right now otherwise I'd have to ask when you were free." I chuckled.

"You really don't like not being able to make plans in advance do you?"

"That's not true! I love being spontaneous at times!"

"Yea, only when you can see what's gonna happen later."

"Ha ha Bella." I giggled.

"Well, least it's good to sound that you are happier."

"It's just this weekend. I have a party here later with my dad and some people."

"Uh huh.. and who are these people, seeing as I can't see the party, I'm guessing it's wolves?"

Eventhough Alice wasn't here with me I still felt sheepish telling any of them that I was going to see Jacob or any of the werewolves in La Push.

"Yea you could say that, it's mostly the whole pack..."

"You've got to be kidding Bella..." I could hear her give herself a facepalm.

"Don't worry I'll be fine."

"I'm more worried about you having enough food to go around, those mutts eat like..well... animals"

She seemed a bit annoyed of the company I was having over Icouldn't help but laugh.

"Yea I know that Alice, don't worry we have enough cake."

"I feel bad for you always cleaning and having to deal with that wet dog smell.."

"Alice..." I was scolding her over the phone.

"Sorry..." I heard her give out a long sigh.

"It just sucks not seeing you because of you spending so much time in La Push. I don't get to see how you are or what you are doing." I couldn't help but sigh myself.

"I know Alice, but they are my friends."

"I know Bella, and I'm glad you have friends that watch out for you." At least she was trying to be somewhat supportive.

I heard a beep on the other line and looked at my phone and it said the police station's number.

"Hey Alice? My dad's on the other line. Can I call you back?"

"I was about to run anyways Bella, I'll call you later on in the week! Tell Charlie I said hi!"

"Alright Bye alice." I then clicked over

"What's up dad?" I asked I hadn't talked to him the last few days since I left to go with Jacob to Seattle. He wasn't at home mostly for the day before either. Between work for both of us, we seemed to see less and less of each other.

"Hey Bells, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure dad."

"Can you go to the grocery store and pick up some things for tonight?"

"Sure dad." I picked up a memo pad that I had next to my computer desk and pulled a pencil out of my drawer.

"Ok, shoot."

"Alright, we need a stack of those party plastic knives and forks. We need plastic cups, paper plates, some sodas, and some bags of chips. You'll have to pick up the stuff I ordered from the Deli too."

I wrote it all down, put the memo pad in my pocket and put the pencil on my desk.

"Okay, I'll go get that stuff now, it'll kill some time that way."

"Alright Bells, I'm sorry I have you going out getting stuff for your own party."

"It's no big deal dad i'm not worried."

"Well I'll see you about seven to set things up."

"Okay." We both hung up.

I got back downstairs and into my truck. I was used to being in Jake's car for a while that the cab felt crowded since it didn't have a backseat. I went to the grocery store and grabbed some cups and paper plates. I grabbed the fifty pack of utensils and when I grabbed three bags of chips, I thought of how the Quileute boys ate and added three more to my shopping cart. I stopped by the deli and picked up the three catering trays that my dad had ordered just for sandwhiches. It was fine by me, we didn't need anything really big for the party tonight. I grabbed six two-litre bottles of soda and a 16 pack of canned sodas. By the time I was done, my eyes almost popped out of my head looking at my cart. I couldn't believe how much stuff I had bought. For only feeding a part of about fifteen or so, you would've guessed it was about thirty or more. I figure each werewolf ate as much as two regular people so I figured in my head that was technically almost twenty already. It was still up in the air about if Leah was going to go. She still didn't really like me much but I told Seth that she was more then welcome to be there. I loaded my truck, luckily there was enough space on the bottom of the passenger seat and on the passenger seat to accommodate all the food. When I pulled up I noticed my dad's cruiser in the driveway. I looked at the clock.

"Holy crow." I said to myself. It was already seven thirty. I jumped out of the truck and opened the passenger side door. Just then I saw my dad come out of the front door.

"Let me help you with those." He said as he neared the passenger seat door.

"Jeez Bells, you planning to feed a small army?" That was the second time I had heard that today.

"No, just some real hungry boys, trust me dad, don't underestimate their appetite."

We walked into the house with some bags and had to make three trips til everything was out of the truck. I then locked the doors up and went inside and helped dad unload everything on to the table.

"I got your cake." He mentioned as he emptied a bag of chips into a big bowl. I glanced over to the big box on the table.

"I hope that cake isn't all for me.." I said, looking at the size of the box.

"You did tell me not to underestimate, so I figured I'd be better off just overestimating." I laughed and even dad gave out a chuckle.

I heard the familiar sound of the rabbit pull up and rushed to the door and saw jacob, Quil and Billy getting out of the car. Billy got into his wheelchair and greeted me.

"Hey there Bella. Happy birthday!" he said giving me a hug. He then slipped me a card.

"Oh Billy, you didn't.."

"Don't worry about it Bells, what did I tell you? Me and your dad are close and we protect our own." I smiled at him knowing that in his eyes I counted as one of their own on the reservation.

Quil gave me a hug and Jacob did of course too I breathed in his scent deeply as his arms were around me.

"Bells..you okay?" I realized I must seem like a wierdo around him right now.

"I'm fine." I said to him.

"Well, let's all get inside and get this party started!" Quil said

"Yea!" Jacob agreed and ran in after Quil.

"Oh, Bella, do me a favor. Can you save Quil's mom a slice of your birthday cake? She had to stay at home because Lyn was coming down with a cold." I nodded at him.

"No problem Billy." He smiled at me as he wheeled past me.

"What's going on chief?" Billy said to Charlie.

"Nothing much." Jacob and Charlie helped Billy into the house although Jacob could've done it all by himself. He wasn't going to try to show off in front of Charlie. We then went inside and waited for the other guests to arrive for the real fun to start.