Once Upon A Time
Chapter Thirteen: It Didn't Get Worse
"Hey, idiot!" Natsume calls out to Mikan.
Mikan turns around. "Didn't I tell you not to call me that?"
"You don't own me. You don't feed me. I'm not the one living in another person's home."
"NATSUME." Ruka scolds his twin.
"GO BALD, NATSUME!" She fights away her tears and runs off.
"You idiot!" Ruka is frustrated with Natsume. He always is. Every time he scolds Mikan, if he ruins a moment, if he won't obey Ojiisan, and if he makes Mikan cry. This time, Natsume has hurt Mikan's feelings.
"Dude. What gives?" Tsubasa says to Natsume and runs after her.
"What?" Natsume looks at his twin.
"Natsume, I respect you. Okay? I still do. But can you at least respect Mikan? She's happy, the happiest I have ever seen from her! And you just ruined it. What is up with you? If you're jealous of Tsubasa then say it. You're good at that, right? Telling people things that would hurt them. Can you at least, for one day, or better yet forever, do not hurt Mikan anymore. Her parents abandoned her and that's a tough price already. She doesn't need it from us. Haven't you realized that?"
"I just can't."
"What bullshit is that? Of course you can!"
"I CAN'T. I need to be rude to her! I need to keep her away! She's stupid enough to go near me."
"What is your problem?"
"I LOVE HER, OKAY! I do. Damn it! Why? What? I said it. Now, shut up. I'm not suppose to feel this way! Especially now that we're... 'siblings' living under the same roof. THE THINGS I COULD DO. You know I'd dedicate my whole being to her! I... I... I just can't bear the thought that we can't be together. I have to hate her!"
"Stop forcing yourself to! It'll only get worse. You know that. The more you hate her, the more you'll learn to love her."
"Crap!"
"Just go after her. I'll head back home." And just like that, he's gone.
Natsume's POV
It's getting worse every time I see her and it turns to hell every time I see a guy friend of hers appear. Now that's definitely triggered my jealousy meter. I have to stop this yearning of mine. She can never be mine. And I can never be hers. It is forbidden love. Call it cheesy or corny or weird, but it really is forbidden. When I look at her in the eyes, I do not see a sibling, a sister, or someone that shares the same blood as I do. I see her as... the opposite of those things I said earlier. Even though I think about it, I feel so embarrassed. Like piss. Like hell. Right. I feel so damn embarrassed.
I see two people up ahead. Mikan still has her head down. Crying. My fault. And Tsubasa has his arm wrapped around her. He moves her to the bench. I back away and let them have their peace.
And, I hear her scream again.
Normal POV
"I HATE HIM, TSUBASA. I really do! Look what he just told me. Did you hear that? That foul, loathsome, evil cockroach!"
" Yeah, I heard him alright. Mean guy too. But you like him, don't you?"
"WHAT? What kind of question is that?"
"For one thing, you didn't slap him. Meaning, that."
"What does slapping have to do with liking someone?"
"Mikan, people wouldn't dare hit someone if they like that person. No matter how much the person pains another they wouldn't dare hurt the other physically. They'd rather be martyrs- keeping the pain to themselves."
"But I'm not keeping the pain to myself. It's just not in my nature to hurt someone."
"Mikan, you may not understand it now but sooner or later you will realize what he means to you. And I'd have to leave now too. I still got unpacking to do. See you around."
"Won't you take me with you?"
"I'm pretty sure he's just around the corner. Looking stupid. Take care now." Tsubasa plants a kiss on Mikan's cheek before he stands up. "Probably jealous too!" And he's off running.
Natsume's POV
JEALOUS? That bloody blue-haired bastard! This is where I make my heroic entrance. I remember the first time I met her. I was nine and she was eight. And I was madly in love with Luna too. But when I met her by the gate, my whole perspective of the world changed. She was another kind of girl. A girl who took the view of the world as a kind one, not the world filled with insects, crimes, hatred, and madness. She made me think differently of the world.
She made me think differently about her. And we're going through a lot of trials. My ego is already a huge one on her part.
By Satan's ass, I'm adding up to this stupid problem.
Mikan's POV
And there he is, the son of Satan. I feel so mean. I'm not usually this mean towards somebody I hate but I guess I've grown tired of being bossed around, humiliated, teased upon, and treated unfairly. He's walking like I'm not affected, like he didn't do anything wrong. Ruka's not with him too. What kind of conscience does he have? Does he even have one? Oh God. Why am I here? Why did you let these people adopt me? I'm better of in the orphanage. Happy. With real friends, not that Hotaru-chan isn't one. But... living with these people? Especially that Natsume Hyuuga. What have I done wrong? Am I too plain that I must be punished? have i done something wrong? What? Tell me.. Give me a sign.
"Hey", the Devil speaks. I find myself staring at the ground. I'm always like this whenever I am nervous, angry, sad, or embarrassed. I don't know what I am feeling now. I don't want to look at him but my instincts get the better of me. I look at him.
"Here to gloat? Scold me? What? Haven't you done enough?"
"Look, Mikan. I'm sorry."
"Right. It could get worse."
"I'm trying here, okay?"
"Trying? Trying to what? Hurt me? Hurt me less? Because if it's the latter, it's not working at all."
"You... you don't understand."
That's it. He's done it again. Acting like I am stupid. I stand up and face him. I fight back the tears but they just roll out. "Right. I always don't understand. I'm stupid, right? Little, stupid orphan girl. What does she know about understanding things? Little, servant girl. What right does she have to butt in to their masters' businesses? What right does she have to... to.. UNDERSTAND that being hurt is part of the application of being an orphan? I never wanted to be an orphan, Natsume! Do you think I'd rather live with you if.. if I had choices?"
I am filled with rage towards Natsume. I hate him. I really do. I want to run away. Live with Tsubasa or Kazuki... or run back to the orphanage.. tell them... Tell them what? That one of Ojiisan's sons are bullying me? That I am weak to face them?
Then he hugs me. I didn't notice him draw near me. I was too focused on my anger towards him that I completely forgot he was there. His hug is warm. I feel.. safe. His arms are strong. Right.. because he's been doing work out. He smells like the sun. WAIT. WHAT? I thought I was mad... I thought.. Then suddenly. It's all gone... WAIT. I'm supposed to be mad at him but why am I not pulling away?
"I'm sorry, Mikan..." His voice.. it's soothing and gentle. It's like a barrier. Like a lullaby. It's making me think that I would rather hear his voice than any other. His voice.. like he meant it... WAIT. NO. I push him away.
"Wha-what are you doing?" I wonder how long I've been in his arms. It's all wrong. He's my brother. And. No. I can't. And he can't as well. But-
"I love you."
Natsume.. we can't.
End of Chapter