A/N: That last chapter was pretty random but I was kind of bored so I typed down whatever came to mind. Either way, this chapter should make more sense. Sadly, you guys are so close to the end of my story. This isn't the last chapter but you're very close. Please continue reading, this chapter has caught up to episode 25 which was a really sad episode for me, it gave me this depressed feeling for about a week. So Enjoy!
Chapter 13: Sorrow's Beginning
~One Week Later~
Ryuuzaki fully recovered from his wounds and got back to the Kira Case. He interrogated Rem the Shinigami a few times but it didn't really look like she minded. Misa and Light were cleared from suspicions and were allowed to go home. Misa quickly left but Light lingered about HQ like he still had to stay. Kagome had noticed that his actions towards the others have been different ever since Higuchi died. Kagome didn't ask though, she didn't want to cause a new problem for everyone.
What she couldn't help but wonder, though, was if Ryuuzaki was really alright. Ever since he got back from the hospital and he'd been looking at the Death Note, he's been acting differently. Kagome simply watched as Ryuuzaki moped about. He'd look at the Death Note privately, then he'd go talk to Watari individually. After that he'd stare at the monitors until he got hungry.
He was eating a lot less, and even when he ate, he didn't eat a lot. Kagome was growing worried. She didn't want to ask what was wrong, she knew he wouldn't tell her. Kagome just tried to make him feel better as much as she could, even though she didn't know why he was so down suddenly.
Kagome, though, had a distant feeling that he knew something, or he was waiting for something to happen, but what? she would ask.
One day, Kagome found a way to get Ryuuzaki alone. Yagami Soichiro had went to the kitchen with Mogi while Matsuda and Light went somewhere to hang out. Kagome sat in the seat next to Ryuuzaki as he stared at the monitor. "I'm waiting for your thoughts," she said, setting her hand on his shoulder. "I have nothing to talk about," he told her. "Well I do: Why have you been so down lately? It's been depressing just looking at you like this."
Ryuuzaki stared down at his lap. "I'm fine, Higurashi-san," he told her. "No your not, you've been slouching around more than usual. Is something wrong? Are you feeling OK?" Kagome placed her hand on his forehead, in an attempt to get a reaction, maybe a blush.
She thought maybe if he reacted then that meant he was just bored or something. But, she got nothing. With his usual blank expression, he removed her hand from his forehead and just held it in place. "Ryuuzaki, why are you so sad all of a sudden?" she asked him, clutching onto his hand. Ryuuzaki shut his eyes and let his head fall. "Do you think that we'll catch Kira, my deductions are that we're a step closer to Kira, now that we've found out his source of power but-"
Ryuuzaki looked back at the monitor. "Do you think we'll survive long enough to solve it?"
Kagome sighed. "Is that why you're so down? Do you think you're going to die?" she asked. "I know how foolish it sounds, but I can't help but wonder if Kira has something planned out in case something like this happens." Kagome rubbed his back. "I believe in you Ryuuzaki, I don't think you'll die! I believe you'll catch Kira and you will solve the case! So cheer up!"
There was a long awkward silence between them. She knows he wasn't any different than he was a few seconds ago. "I don't like seeing you sad. It looks wrong on you, you're never sad." Ryuuzaki just glared at the monitor. "It'll be lonely, won't it?" he asked. Kagome looked at him confused. "You'll be here alone again, and I wouldn't have been able to prevent it." Kagome just smiled so she could hide her worry for him. "Don't say things like that, Ryuuzaki."
"Gomenasai," he told her. Kagome stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Ryuuzaki alone as he clutched onto the fabrics of his jeans. He'd told Watari about everything he's felt, but he for once had advice that didn't help him. And the earlier the day got, and the more the week spread, the more he heard a distant bell. It sounded like the giant bell at his orphanage.
It suddenly began to rain outside. The sky was a greenish gray, the rain pounded loudly against the glass and surface. It made a loud smacking sound, but each smack sounded like a bell to Ryuuzaki. The rain made him feel at ease though, made him feel like he was full of solitude. He thought to himself about his childhood. About being an outcast to the others, not knowing his mother or father. Being incredibly smart for his age, never having a place in the world.
No matter how much he tried to block every single memory of that, it'd always appear back in his dreams, one of the main reasons he was happy about having insomnia. Every time he'd sleep, he'd have a nightmare, and it'd wake him up. He was never lucky, but each dream made him want to commit suicide. They showed how worthless he was to the world.
Ryuuzaki was still smart though, he'd never kill himself over a silly dream, but he still felt awful when he awoke. That's why he'd never share his feelings to any one other than Watari, because he was always a father to him.
Suddenly, Ryuuzaki felt an urge to go and stand in the rain. Ryuuzaki walked to the roof where the rain was it's loudest. He stood still by the satellite as he stared at the clouds, not making notice of the rain smashing into his face, his eyes. The bells were really loud that day. His clothes and his hair were soaked.
Kagome walked back into the room to see it was empty. "Ryuuzaki," she called. "Where are you? Are you hiding?" Kagome searched around the room, flipping things over one by one. Watari walked in and looked at her strangely. "Oh, Watari," Kagome said, walking up to him. "Have you seen Ryuuzaki, I can't find him anywhere!" Watari thought to himself. "Is it raining?" he asked. Kagome looked at him oddly as she nodded.
"Ryuuzaki might be on the roof, he's been thinking about something lately."
Kagome didn't know what he meant but she thanked Watari for telling her where he might be as she took the elevator to the top floor. Kagome walked to the door and peeked out it's window. She was shocked to see him standing there, just staring up at the clouds like something were about to appear. Kagome slid the door open and walked out. She staid under the roof so she wouldn't get wet.
"Ryuuzaki, what are you doing out here?" she shouted. Ryuuzaki glanced over and saw her. He put his hand to his ear, letting her know he couldn't hear her. "What are you doing out here?" she shouted, only louder. Ryuuzaki still couldn't hear her as she stepped into the rain and walked toward him. She was quickly soaked as she looked at him.
"Why are you out here?" she asked him. Ryuuzaki looked up again. "I don't know, I'm just enjoying the weather is all," he told her. Kagome looked down.
"You're going to get sick, Ryuuzaki, come inside," she said, walking up close to him so she could grab his hand. "I'm sorry to have worried you, I didn't mean to," he said staring down. Kagome didn't say it, but she knew he was sad about something. Her school uniform was ruined now, she didn't even know why she was wearing it. "You don't have to be sad, Ryuuzaki," she told him.
"Is that so," he commented. Kagome looked at him angrily. He was acting sad everywhere, it made her annoyed. He was moping around not telling her anything anymore, he was just silent. "Could you snap out of it!" she said in an annoyed tone. "What do you mean?" he asked. "With your baby attitude, it's annoying to look at. You've been being sad all week, can you for once be yourself this week. Please Ryuuzaki," she asked. Kagome stared at him seriously. Ryuuzaki made no eye contact.
"Gomenasai, Higurashi-san," he said in a quiet voice. Kagome clintched onto her teeth. "Stop," she said. Ryuuzaki looked at her confused. "Just stop, OK."
"What do you mean, Higurashi-san...?"
Kagome looked at him bewildered. She raised her hand and smacked him across the face. It made a loud smack noise, and the rain made the hit hurt more than it would of dry. She left the side of his face red. Kagome just watched as his head swung to one side, his eyes wide open, twitching a bit. His head just staid in position to where she'd smacked him. "Cut it out! You've been acting so depressed it's giving me a headache. I mean seriously, I've seen Inuyasha depressed a few times but I don't like seeing you depressed, of all people.
"You've only talked to me with small phrases and you've made no intention into really talking to me. I've seen you sad all week, I'd ask you what's wrong but I know you wouldn't tell me. You wouldn't tell, you won't tell. If anything, you'd just say you're afraid. You wouldn't even tell me what you're afraid of. It's all I'm asking!"
Kagome's body shivered. "You jerk..." she stammered. Ryuuzaki rubbed his cheek and looked down at the rain as it smacked to surface. "What...?" he asked. "What do you want from me then...?" Kagome looked up. "You're not being honest toward me, you're not treating me like you used to. Please, just don't be sad any more." Kagome started crying. "It's hard to not be sad after you just smacked me, Higurashi-san," he told her.
Kagome smiled at him as he said that. "Sorry," she said. Kagome placed her hand on his cheek as he rested his hand on hers. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just don't like seeing you sad." Ryuuzaki just stared down at her blankly. "It doesn't hurt as much-" he cut himself off. "As much as what?" she asked.
"Nothing," he quickly responded. "Ryuuzaki," she sang. "Ryuuzaki, Ryuga, L... Lawliet~" Ryuuzaki looked at her confused. The tears still ran down her cheeks, but she merely wiped them away and smiled. "What's wrong with you, Higurashi-san?" he asked. "Don't you feel this feeling I feel? It's awkward, I feel all dizzy inside. It's like... my heart is beating rapidly. But, I know it's not a usual feeling, because I only feel it when I'm by you. Call it corny if you want, I don't care, but it's just... weird."
Ryuuzaki nodded and clutched tightly on the small girl's hand. "You just started feeling it? I've felt it a long time ago, toward you. I haven't had an explanation for it either, but for some reason, I like feeling like this next to you," he told her.
It sounded all too corny, but it was enough to take Kagome's heart away as she gazed into his eyes. Her words were taken from her, all she could do is chuckle under her breath and look at the rain covered ground. "How cheesy," she laughed. Ryuuzaki blushed a little out of embarrassment. "Cheesy?" he asked. "To express my feelings to you?"
"I didn't know you felt anything toward me," she exclaimed. "I've always felt something, Higurashi-san." Kagome looked at him in shock. "Ryuuzaki, I had no idea..." Ryuuzaki only closed his eyes. "I know it is pretty awkward. Coming from a grown, strange, man such as myself. Higurashi-san, I would understand if you-"
Ryuuzaki's words were cut off as his eyes widened at Kagome's sudden actions. His arms were away from him as he looked down at her in surprise. He didn't know what to do, he didn't even know what was going on as Kagome's mouth collided to his own. Ryuuzaki merely stared down at her as she kissed him. Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss, into a trance.
Finally giving in, he wrapped his arms around her waist and closed his eyes, enjoying the chaste kiss she gave him. She did like me after all, I'm so happy, Ryuuzaki thought. Kagome pulled away from the kiss and embraced him. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hold myself back anymore. Please forgive me, gomenasai," she told him. The rain soaked them so much it was like they were underwater as their clothes clomped onto each other. "Don't apologize," he simply told her. "It's getting cold out, we should go inside."
Important Note: I know Ryuuzaki's actions were a bit odd but on episode 25 he was acting a little different than usual and I know you all could admit that. Also I know some of the lines were corny and the actions were uncalled for, but hey, that's what makes a fanfic a fanfic. Please read the next chapter, or should I say the last chapter. There will be an epilogue! Enjoy!