Forenote: I would like to thank fellow author m4x70r for permitting me to use the character of Wilkis Zarin in this story. If you wish to read more about Wilkis Zarin, please read the stories by m4x70r, 'My Name is Wilkis Zarin' and 'To No Avail'.

CHAPTER 13 - SHAME AND DISHONOUR

When we arrived at Mos Eisley, we were assigned to a requisitioned house in the centre of the town which has living room, a couple of bedrooms and a large kitchen. I slept on the floor of the living room beside Timor, Yalasa and Speeler. The other half of the squad and Skeen were distributed around the other rooms.

Early the next morning, Captain Terrik came to our quarters and confirmed that Wilkis Zarin had deserted from his unit. He told us that a patrol had found his abandoned armour in an alley the previous night. They managed to locate it from a signal that is emitted from our helmets. Captain Terrik ordered us that we were not permitted to discuss Zarin's desertion, even within our own squad. Command obviously took the matter very seriously.

Yalasa volunteered on our behalf to go out and search for Zarin to bring him to justice for his treason. We would have gladly followed her. But Captain Terrik denied us permission, reminding us that our priority was to locate the droids. The mission to find the droids came under a 4219A order. It was critical priority, so no resources were to be employed to look for Zarin. However, Captain Terrik told us we should detain or shoot Zarin under order 8866E if we should encounter him in Mos Eisley. An 8866 order is automatically issued by command in the threoretical situation where a stormtroopers is known to desert. It requires us to search for and detain or shoot the deserter. Normally, it would be our main priority to find the deserter. But in this case, the search for the droids was of higher importance.

An 8866 is one of these orders that we never expected to receive. We had never experienced a desertion before. We knew desertions sometimes happened in less dedicated units like the fleet and regular army. But a desertion from the stormtrooper corps was unthinkable. For us, it was seen as an impossibility. So we regarded an 8866 order as a theoritical curiosity, but not something that would ever be put into practice. When we heard of desertions among other arms of the military, we often used to proudly discuss among ourselves how such a thing would never happen in a stormtrooper unit. The idea that the unthinkable had now happened was almost unbearable. It was a severe blow to our pride and honour.

The mood was very depressed and sombre after we heard of Zarin's desertion. Zarin's desertion was something that I personally could not comprehend and I am sure the others felt the same way. How could a trooper desert the most elite arm of the imperial military? How could he betray his fellow troopers who had given him so much companionship and trust? How could he betray the Emperor who had given us such a noble purpose and position in life? How could he betray the honour of his family, and so many others, who would suffer the ignominy of being associated with a liar and a traitor? It was all just incomprehensible. Zarin was not even part of our squad. But I still felt the shame of his betrayal.

In our squad, Yalasa took the desertion far worse than the rest of us. Shortly after Captain Terrik left the house, Yalasa exploded into a hurricane of uncontained rage, smashing furniture, ornaments and cutlery all round the requisitioned house where we were quartered. She did not attack or hurt any of the other troopers. It was clear she did not blame us. She was genuinely outraged that Zarin had dared to betray his vow to the Emperor. She seemed to take it as a personal insult, even though Zarin wasn't from our stormtrooper company and she had never met him before the mission against the moisture farmers. She swore revenge against that "traitorous bastard" who had joined that "duplicitous band of slavers, rapists and murderers" that called themselves rebels. Of course, there was no indication that Zarin had joined a rebel group. But Yalasa seemed to regard any deserter as being a rebel by default.

What surprised me were the terms Yalasa used to describe the rebels. Normally, our media, information services and educators refer to the rebels as criminal, terrorist, corrupt, decadent, fanatic, deluded, insane and morally weak. Imperial officers often love to use the term "rebel scum". But Yalasa's use of the words "slavers, rapists and murderers" are not terms typically used by the Empire to describe the rebels. It occurred to me that her hatred of the rebels was tangible and very real. Yalasa's hatred of the rebels seems to be deeply personal. She seems to despise the rebels with a passion that goes far beyond loyalty to the Empire.

We were all alarmed at Yalasa's violent reaction. All we could do was stand back and watch as she screamed, cursed and smashed everything around her. Fortunately, she was not in her armour at the time, as the damage could have been much worse. I watched her carefully, prepared to intervene should her actions threaten to break regulation. With Skeen acting strangely, I believed that it was imperitive for us that Yalasa continued with the mission. However, I recognise that there is little I could do to stop her as she rampaged around the living room. Since she was my commanding NCO, I was not in a strong position to prevent her from carrying out unwise actions, or say foolish things, she may later regret. It was not like the incident after the Tantive mission where I could treat her as an equal. Things had changed. All I could do was ensure that her blaster was well out of her sight.

Fortunately, we were in a private house, so she did not damage any imperial property. After a couple of hours she calmed down and sat in a corner of one of the rooms. Inside she was still boiling with rage, but at least she had stopped screaming and breaking things. For the next two days, she hardly spoke to anyone, forcing herself to calmly answer any questions directed at her. Most of the time, she just sat in a trance-like state, hatred and determination burning in her eyes.

In reality, Yalasa's reaction reflected how we all felt. The whole squad felt the same shame and dishonour. Although the rest of us seemed to deal with the situation calmly, I admit that I felt just as much anger as Yalasa did. I am sure the others felt the same. We just controlled our anger better. Clearly being a woman had made Yalasa more susceptible to violent emotional reactions and it justified my belief that woman should not be permitted to have command positions.

However, I must recognise that despite her barely contained fury, Yalasa continues to carry out her duty as a stormtrooper corporal with the same discipline and determination as usual. When she puts on her armour and her helmet, she immediately becomes the unwavering stormtrooper corporal dedicated to serving the Empire with all her being. If anything, she has become even more determined in finding the droids which seem to be of so much importance to that "rebel bitch Organa" and "her rebel lap-dogs".

All of us in the squad were affected by Zarin's desertion. We now rarely talk to each other off-duty. Instead, we dedicate ourselves to maintaining our equipment, eating our rations and resting. I am taking the opportunity to update my journal to express the pain we all feel at this moment.

I thought Timor may have resisted the sombre mood. I thought he would have tried to lightened the mood with a few of his jokes of poor taste. But, if anything, he took Zarin's desertion more badly than most. Off-duty, he just sits by himself, quiet and sullen. It may be because he believes that he had somehow contributed to Zarin's desertion from the things he said in the shuttle after the sandcrawler mission. Perhaps he thinks he would be blamed for it. Despite the fact that I do not always appreciate Timor's humour, I do not blame him for Zarin's desertion. Looking back, Timor's never really directly taunted Zarin. Zarin's fellow squad members threw the worst insults. Also no true loyal servant of the Empire would ever desert because of a few comments made off-duty. Our duty to the Empire is worth much more to us that our very lives, never mind any insult that could be thrown at us. The truth is that Zarin deserted because he is a vile unscrupulous traitor. There is no other reason.

Then there is Skeen. Skeen has never been the same since his encounter with Organa in the turbo-lift. Since that day, he has never spoken to us off-duty and I have never seen him take his helmet off. In the requisitioned house, he shuts himself in one of the rooms and only comes out when it was time to go on duty.

At one point Timor became so frustrated after Skeen went to his room without speaking to us or taking off his helmet that Timor said: "What the fuck is wrong with him? Does that fucker never take his helmet off? He must sleep in that damn thing."

We all sat or stood still in shocked silence. The only sound was the noise of troopers chewing on their rations or slurping a drink. I actually agreed with Timor and was glad someone else had noticed that there was something strange about Skeen. But I would not have said it out loud like Timor had. It was a clear demonstration of disobedience and a clear breach of regulations. There was no doubt that Timor would receive a severe reprimand for his words.

It was just as well Yalasa is here. Skeen is our commanding NCO. But in reality, it is Yalasa who organises the squad and gives most of the orders. We all depend on Yalasa to receive instructions and give us direction. At the check-points, Skeen asks for identification and decides whether to search travellers or not. But in everything else, it is Yalasa who really leads us and demonstrates true determination to find the droids. The truth is that we obey Skeen, but we follow Yalasa. Despite her emotional breakdown, I believe we can still depend on her.

Fortunately, we do not have a lot of time to brood about Skeen or Zarin when off-duty. Because of the number of settlements our forces have to cover in our mission to find the droids, there is a limited number of troopers available in Mos Eisley. We have to do long shifts checking travellers at check-points and patrolling the town during the day. At night, all we have time to do is eat, sleep and maintain our equipment. The latter is quite important as there was a lot of dust on Tatooine and it gets absolutely everywhere.

Despite Zarin's desertion, the truth is that we have every reason to be optimistic. We have achieved the mission objectives in all our operations since we boarded the Tantive IV. So we all feel proud that we have served the Empire well. The droids are still at large, but the situation is contained. Since our troops are looking for them in the spaceports and our fleets are blockading the planet from orbit, it was only a matter of time until the droids and the plans are back in the hands of the Imperial authorities.

Each day, we eagerly put on our armour and our helmets and go out to fulfil our mission objective. After the desertion of Zarin, we are all more determined than ever to find the droids whatever the cost. We will fulfil the order 4219A and redeem ourselves of the shame that was put upon us by Wilkis Zarin. We will not fail the Emperor.

IMPERIAL PSYCHOLOGICAL SECTION

REVIEW OF JOURNAL – TROOPER LC-9087

As feared, the desertion of trooper Zarin has had a significant negative impact on the psychological well-being of some troopers. Many troopers are experiencing violent urges or periods of depression as the news of trooper Zarin's desertion conflicts with their conditioning as imperial stormtroopers. Other treatments applied to some troopers may be exacerbating these violent and/or depressive reactions. However, despite the negative reactions experienced off-duty, it appears there is no significant impact during on-duty operational performance. The situation should be monitored at all times.

In the unlikely event that a desertion occurs in the future, we recommend that the trooper be declared missing or killed in action to avoid similar difficulties in the future.

The subject indicates that trooper NR-8306 (aka Timor) may have breached regulations by demonstrating disobedience to his commanding NCO in front of his fellow troopers. If such an act of disobedience can be corroborated, NR-8306 should be subject to an official reprimand.

The subject indicates that trooper NR-7054 (aka Skeen) appears to have lost his effectiveness as an NCO. This is corroborated by other sources. We recommended that he is relieved from duty as soon as possible and should be subject to a psychological review.

The subject indicates that trooper RC-5342 (aka Yalasa) may have trouble controlling her emotions in extreme situations despite her conditioning. The subject indicates that Trooper RC-5342 may have mentioned trooper Zarin's desertion in breach of direct orders. If this is corroborated, a reprimand will have to be issued. Apart from that, indications suggest that she is able to continue effectively with her duty. Her status should be monitored on a regular basis. The balance of the medication in her rations should also be reviewed.