Hale No, Hale Yes

Chapter 13

Published: September 1st, 2010

Disclaimer: Twilight not mine. This story is. For longer disclaimer, see Chapter One.

AN: My special thanks to: kBlackNightingale, my fab beta. Thank you for being patient and for seeing it through even when it means you stay up late and fall asleep on my doc and then I change it after you finish. ILYSFM.

vampireisthenewblack and rhenea5018 - You guys are fantastic for running scenes and dialogue by. All your advice is valuable, your comments a treat and your sanity-savers a lifesaver. Huggles to you.

And once again readers: Thank you for letting me know just how much you love this fic! I really did not think many people would like this. I am glad I am not the only one in this world that loves references to all things pop culture. At least I know that should I ever meet any of you, you might actually understand the drivel that I spout. Thank you.

Chapter 13

It took only four days of invasive people to get me chafing at the bit and desperate to get out of the house. Personally, I thought I took the whole confinement thing rather well. Well, except for the completely non-showering thing. Apparently, I was too sick to get out of bed and have one:

-w-

"I need a shower."

The doctor in Edward tried to reason with me. "You have to stay in bed. How about a nice sponge bath?"

"How about a fat lip?"

Reason hadn't worked so he tried coercion, "How about I get Rose in to do it for you?"

"How about I castrate you with this butter knife?"

-w-

Apparently, to everyone else, I was not exactly a model patient. I take exception to that. I didn't throw a tantrum once (twice, maybe, but it was only at Edward, and then Jasper.)

During that time, Bella and Charlie had paid me a visit so I wasn't entirely insane with being cooped up. Of course the visit with Charlie was its customary 'alcohol is not safe' message and a bit of a rant about how I should have let him know; how he felt responsible for me; and how terrible it would be if anything happened to me thing. I knew he cared for me, the gruffness does often belay that, but I knew. After his usual 'be safe' commentary, he patted my leg awkwardly, said he was off to find Doctor and Missus Cullen, then Bella and I were alone; free to talk and catch up.

There was an unusual silence once Charlie had left the room and I sat there worried, while Bella gave me an intense look. It was an unnerving sort of a look, like someone was seeing you for the first time.

"What?" I finally asked crossly. "Have I grown a wart on my nose or something?"

She eyed me over again and it was rather unsettling, like a minute pickover. "No," she finally replied. "You look different. Better. Glowy. If I didn't know better, I'd almost say you were pregnant."

Clasping my hand to my chest, I gasped aloud, horrified. "Take that back, Isabella Swan. That's a horrible thing to say."

Her head cocked to the side. "You don't want kids?" she questioned me, as if surprised.

"I don't want them right now when I have no other parent and haven't exactly settled down!" I declared. "It's not exactly the best time, after all. All this 'up in the air' stuff with relationships, gender preference, that kind of thing. Not conducive to bringing up a baby."

Bella sat back, leaning upon one hand. She had this satisfied, gloating look about her. Really. It didn't suit her and I told her as such.

She laughed. "You've had a talk with Rosalie Hale then. Obviously, it's all worked out. You wouldn't be all glow-y if not. And talking about relationships and gender preferences. Alice Brandon's got herself a gal. A gorgeous one at that."

"Hey! Hands off, Swan."

"Oh don't worry your pretty little head about it. I'm still very straight," she reassured me. "Now give me the details about you and Rosalie. Early stages? Are we talking base-jumping or is it still the whole talking phase?"

Yes. She knows all the stages, the looks, the differences at the beginning of a relationship. She also knows all about the breakups, the heartache because she picks me back up. I sighed. "Look Bella," I began, "it's.. she...well... it went fine. I mean we've talked a little, okay a lot, but it's still very early days yet."

"What about the whole 'take it slow and not fall in love at the first instant'? You have a tendency to do that. But this? It's a whole new ball park."

"I know, but I like her, Bella. I really like her. She's beautiful, witty, smart and she has this caring nature about her that most people don't get to see. She'll make a great wife someday."

Her eyes widened. "You're thinking marriage already?"

Aghast, I quickly stated, "Oh not for me! Good Lord, not for me! Well, not yet anyway. Who knows? I mean I don't even know if this is all going to work and pan out, but if in the future, then yeah... I wouldn't mind having Rosalie for a wife. But we have to get through this first bit and start to have a proper relationship. Like go on a date. Let alone talk about being a wife."

"If she'll have you as a husband. Ever consider that might not happen?"

What on earth was Bella getting at? Is she saying that she thinks Rosalie doesn't like me?

Bella let out a troubled sigh. "What I mean is: same sex relationships are hard. You are gifted with the bigotry of other people."

"It's no different from bigotry like racism or sexism."

"Don't be naive, Alice. You're not dealing with gay people. You are dealing with everyday straight bitches who don't deal with the whole lesbian thing particularly well. Women are understanding of gay men. They see attractiveness in gay pairings. But face them with two women in a lesbian relationship? They feel threatened. Men will see it as a woohoo moment, 'let's get our rocks off while fantasizing about a sandwich with those two'. Women will see it as a double attack. You're making them face a fear that they might be latent lesbians - I mean let's face it; women are latent lesbians. It's in the genetic makeup from primitive times. You can't tell me they sat around waiting for the guy to come home from a hunt to have a shag. They might be gone for three months. And now here you come along. A woman who they thought was straight, now in a lesbian relationship with a gorgeous leggy blonde who looks like she stepped from a damn catwalk or fashion house. You're giving their men fantasises that they will not be able to compete in the bedroom with. You're a double threat and you might find yourself shunned."

I made a scoffing noise. As if. This town wasn't like that. People weren't like that. "Oh don't be silly, Bella. Forks isn't like that."

Seriousness colored her tone flat. "Forks may not be. But the people in Forks might be."

The visit with Bella had certainly given me food for thought. I found myself wondering about the content of her words at odd times and it made me even more waspish than before.

Finally, Doctors Edward and Carlisle said I could take a shower and make a small excursion and I immediately made the most of that, dragging Rosalie out the door to my car. Luckily - for me, and maybe for the members of the Cullen household - Bella and Charlie had brought my pretty, little baby around a few days ago. (Such a good friend was my Bella. She knew I hated feeling trapped.) So we got into my little car and we had a moment to gather our thoughts free of other people. It was nice to be alone with my thoughts.

Who was it that said, 'Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive'? Freud? Nietzsche? Sartre? Whoever it was, well they may have been right. All this time being sick had given Rosalie and I time to talk. Lots of time. And lots of talks. And forgiveness. I was forgiven. She was forgiven. All was forgiven and it was a clean slate. Ah, forgiveness. Happiness and fluffy ducks. Because Rosalie forgave me. Ergo, I was all floopy and stumble-y and warm fuzzy-ducks, basking in the lo... oops, attraction.

We had had 'the talk'. Obviously. What 'talk'? asks you. That talk, says I. The 'I like you, you like me, we're a happy' ... wait that's the purple dinosaur shit... well... whatever. That talk. Actually, if you want to be precise, then we had several 'talks' over the course of several days:

-w-

There was the 'I'm happy, you're happy, we're happy' talk...

"Rose, you were right. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. You hurt me with your instantaneous rejection, just because I said stop. You hurt me with your quick judgment calls and you hurt me with your cool aloofness. However, I hurt you too. I was afraid of you and of how you made me feel, and I fled from my feelings, my fear, and from you. That was not fair. I'm sorry. You know, it made me realize that people play hard to get just so they know the other person's feelings are real, but just know I wasn't doing that. Just know that I spent these past two weeks wanting you."

"I'm happy to hear that from you, Alice. I think we can make this work." Hesitation marred her voice. "If you are willing, that is."

Touching her hand, I beamed, "Same, Rosalie. I feel the same here."

When she was happy, the sun shone, the birds called and the world was all rosy. Her tone showed that she was extremely happy when she teased, "Rose, call me Rose. It'll be easier when I make you come."

Alice world was rosy indeed.

-w-

Then there was the 'Let me tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees but in a girl's sense' talk.

Gently, I ran my finger down her cheek. "This is freaking me out, okay?" I whispered.

A worried expression graced her face before she clasped my hand tightly. "Don't worry about it, Alice. Do what comes naturally. We don't even have to go southerly until you're ready."

Leaning in, I had kissed her softly upon the lips. "Oh but I do want to," I reassured her before moving to kiss her cheek, "and I am ready."

I peppered a few more kisses along her jaw. Slowly, I sat back, staring into her eyes while trailing a line down her collar, and undoing a button. Sliding my hand into her blouse and holding her gaze, I asked, "I'm just really worried about what you think of me when I do. I mean what happens if I can't make you... you know... the big 'O'?"

Her eyes had taken on that glint I love so much and with the manner in which she had leaned her breasts into the palm of my hand, it wasn't long before her kisses reassured me that it would be all fine in the end.

-w-

Then we finally had the long overdue Jasper talk. Broken down into many sections a) Me and Jasper.

"There is not now and will not ever again be a me and Jasper."

"Okay?" Her brow rose quizzically.

"I'm fine with you guys having talked about it. I mean I'm embarrassed as all hell, but better you know about it."

"Okay."

"I mean we weren't together, but like I told you before, I felt like I was cheating on you."

She let out a sigh. "I know, Alice. Look, here are some letters I wrote this week. I wanted to share them because well, like you, I'm afraid to share too quickly, too soon, but I think our situation might need a bit of trust building and this is the only way I can show you I trust you. With me. To show you I trust you with me. After that make-up kiss, I needed to let you know how I was feeling. Disturbed, emotional, scared, hope-filled... it's all there. Read them and then tell me if we have something to work for."

It was my turn to say, "Okay."

Her brows drew together in a frown. "But no references to the sex you had with my brother, no comparisons and for the love of God, please detail the inside of your car."

-w-

Then it was the conversation about 'me having Jasper's dick inside me' and the 'me not having Jasper's dick inside me'.

"I know I said no more screwing my brother and no talking about it, but how was it? Will you be happy with me and not his...?" Her hand lifted to tuck my hair behind my ear and a gentle shiver went down my spine and titillated my libido, again.

"It was like being split in half."

"Really? I never thought he was all that well endowed. Did you enjoy it?"

"At the time? I guess so." Uncertainty passed across her face. I grabbed her face and forced her to look at me. "But he wasn't you."

"But he has a peen." It was almost a wail and the sound tugged at my heartstrings. Rose was as insecure as I was.

Fervently, I gave my answer, "But he doesn't have sexy boobs, does he? Don't worry about that, Rose. You are all the Hale I can take."

"Are you sure you're okay with me not having that?" A frown crossed her face, her finger tracing the seam on the comforter.

"What? You think I have the wrong Hale?"

A sigh left her lips and she lifted her gaze to look at me. "Well, you have been straight until now."

I sat up in indignation. "Yes, but I like you and everything about you. You're a mystery to me and not in the whole girl-on-girl thing either. You as a person. Jasper - we've worked together for a long time, see each other everyday. He is more 'you have been down that road, you know that road, you know exactly where it ends.' Rose, you're more 'I know that's where I want to be.'" Leaning towards her, I stated, "I protect that which matters most - you."

A smile lit her face and warmed a place in my center. "You know the fact you speak Matrix is just a huge turn on right?"

-w-

And last, but by no means least; we had the Jasper having Edward's cock inside him talk. (That was an interesting talk to say the least.)

"You're kidding right?" I clasped my hand over my mouth in fascinated horror.

"No! He was so all about Edward, even when we were younger. And then I caught him with this whole candle up his butt thing and moaning Edward's name and that was before I even knew that he and Edward had a thing."

I leaned forward, curiosity leading me to ask, "Did he know he was gay?"

"Not then. He had a girlfriend then, but figured things weren't quite right when all he could fantasize about was Edward, and the only way he could really get the whole orgasm thing was to plug up his butt and think of Edward. I think every single one of his fantasies have come true since dating Edward. They have done it almost everywhere. It has been bad for the whole sister/best friend thing. I needed a blindfold in the Boston apartment we shared."

-w-

Yes, we had had many talks. Open frank discussion talks. All of which happened mainly because we could not get any action since the Cullens, as a family plus Jasper, seemed hell-bent on interrupting at all the wrong times. If I didn't know better I would have suspected them to all cock-blocking or whatever the more appropriate term is for this sexual orientation. Lesbianism? Bi-sexuality? Freaky-deaky? (Yes, I am still not labeling what this is, for fear my brain is going to go 'ARGH' and run a freaking mile as if the whole of the tribe of Pelagostas were after it. Best not to chance it, don't you think?) So there we were, days later, finally content to enjoy each other's company, not so angsty, not so emo, and definitely many sexually frustrating moments.

Moreover, lots of self-analysis. (I think perhaps there is an undisclosed revenge thing that is in the act of forgiveness. You forgive someone, and the resulting self-analysis makes that person crazy. I mean who needs revenge when nature and the universe are all about self-analysis.)

'There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.'

What do you mean revenge? you ask. Well, there was always that thing of her having forgiven me because I did something stupid, and the revenge was that I thought my way in circles about the very thing she forgave me about. The guilt or righteousness ate away at me. Part of me was a little... meh, oh well, let's move on and the other part is all, why in the hell should I feel guilty? We were on a break! Well, actually we weren't even together! What's the fucking issue? Look, I know it was bad - what Jasper and I did - but really, was it bad when we weren't together. We weren't cheating. (Well, maybe he was, but I wasn't dating Rosalie.) I don't know how to feel about that.

Then you have the logical, practical side of me that says things like, 'Um, see, the issue little Alice brain is that you screwed her brother and then claim to care about her. You don't screw the crew and then move onto the rest of the crew. It's just not done.'

Then you have the emotional but factual side that says, 'I know, I know, but we weren't going out. See?'

Yes, conflicted is me.

Channeling my inner Yoda, decided had I to put it behind me for the time being and just enjoy this time together. Get to me I let it not. After all, we had finally got to a stage where we were talking, Rosalie had indicated to me what she thought about it all and well, there we have it.

Girl time...

Lover time...

Hammer time...

Oh God, I just had the Angels dancing in my head to MC Hammer. Stop.

Now where was I? Girl time. Oh yes... so, overall, when I wasn't mulling over the forgiveness aspect of thing, I was busy... well... just busy. Or rather, as busy as you can get when the Cullens keep busting your ass as you get it felt up. Seriously, can't a girl get a little action around here? (See, I'm starting to become all petulant and whiny. Not a good state to be in.)

That very reason was why we were in my car, debating to where we should be driving. In the very, very, very small confines of my car. Very tight quarters indeed, especially when there was a long-legged blonde-haired woman in your passenger seat with FMBs on. (I positively love fashion. Did I mention that? Never mind that it took several hours to get ready to get out of the house in the first place. Before you make any comment, one word: Preparation... preparation... preparation.) Is it just me or do you want to say 'H' after Preparation? And then does that lead you to thinking about KY? And then about what Jasper and Edward do with said KY?

"Alice, you are away with the fairies again. Come back to me." Rosalie's voice was amused as I dragged myself away from my thoughts and back to the driving... and to her.

"Sorry, just distracted."

"Well stop being distracted."

"So..." I slid Rosalie a sideways glance, pretending not to notice those cute knees in that positively sinfully short skirt, "where did you want to go?"

My brain was clear on where and what it wanted. 'I know where I want to go,' says my brain. 'Right behind those knees and lick my way up.' (Um, Brain?) 'Yes, Alice?' (Horny much?) Brain went quiet enough for me to think... and recall a conversation I'd had with Jasper:

"E took me to this secluded meadow with all these fucking lilacs. He's a goddamn romantic when it comes right down to it. Man, it was beautiful. You should take Rose there sometime. She'd be tickled pink."

The Meadow. Maybe I should take her there. 'Scuse the innuendo. Well, actually, don't. I fully intend on doing just that. Lying her back amongst the flowers etc... no harm in hoping and praying, right? Licking my lips nervously and turning to face her fully, I stammered, "So I was just thinking..."

"Good thing, that thinking."

Rosalie's smirk was delightfully... well, wicked, and I suspect that it may have matched my exact thoughts - my wicked, not-so-saintly, deviant-ish thoughts.

"Oh shut up." I grinned as I shoved her lightly before turning the ignition. 'Yeah, be quiet and do something more interesting with that mouth.' (Gah, my brain is such a male.) Silly little grins shared across the tiny space that was the car's interior. Silly little minuscule brushing against one's fingers that created even more silly little grins. (Is this the way love is supposed to feel? It feels a little well... silly. But I liked it.)

"So you were thinking...," she prompted as I drove away from the house.

"I was? Oh, that's right. My train of thought deviates so much sometimes. You really have to haul me back before I go all tangenty and find another subject to stray to. Like the other day when I was talking to Edward, he was all about..."

"Alice? Come back." Her voice was gently admonishing as she bade me to return to myself. Her head shook from side to side whilst saying, "I swear you need a leash on your brain sometimes."

I had to agree with her. It took off at the most inopportune moments.

"Edward has a meadow..." I drew to a stop. Was I really going to take her there?

With a questioning look, Rosalie asked archly, "A meadow? Edward owns a meadow?"

"No, he has a meadow," I clarified quickly. "It's some place that he likes to go to on his own. Jasper was telling me about it."

"Oh! That meadow!" Rosalie exclaimed. I chanced a glance at her and took in her disbelieving look. "Yes, well Alice honey, I'd love to see it but I don't know how I feel about the place where he took my brother's flower as a trysting place for us, just quietly." Her matter of fact tone threw me a little and I said as much to her. Her answer, "I have to think about it matter-of-factly otherwise I'd have a barrage of images that I fear will creep up behind me going Grrr. Argghh."

The Mutant Enemy, Inc. logo flashed before my eyes and I well, giggled. Nodding, I mentioned in a somewhat deadpan manner, "Oh, I had those images when Jasper told me about it. I ran. I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me."

"Well, I think we can safely say they are not chasing you now so why don't we go somewhere where we can do things that I can never tell my father about since he thinks I'm still a... good girl."

(Did her comment lead you to think what else she was going to say instead? It did mine. A bad girl? A straight girl? A Cordelia? A virgin?) Never mind what it was. I should stop thinking so much. (Note to self: stop thinking so much.)

"Shall I drive out to La Push?"

"And those completely hormone driven boys and girls out there? I think not. I am not prepared to share you. Just get out of town and we'll find some place. There's always Lake Pleasant or something."

So I drove, content to take direction, for once. Still, it was all good. Humming under my breath, I let my mind wander as I drove through town.

I ended up pulling out of Forks, towards Lake Pleasant and Beaver. (Ha-ha, Beaver. I'm going to Beaver to get some beaver. Oh, how crass, Miss Alice. Oh, wait, isn't there an Inn this way?)

Quickly, I asked Rosalie, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I don't know, Brain. Burlap chafes me so."

"Be serious, for a minute."

She seemed sincere when she replied, "I was. Burlap is so very, very chafing."

"You..." I stopped. Huh. Quirking a brow at her, I had to ask, "And you know this how?"

"My mother used to make us do the sack races. Burlap sacks. Not what you're thinking, honey."

Indignantly, I denied, "I wasn't thinking anything!"

"That'll be a first." She snorted a little.

I had to concede. True that. I'm always thinking. A little rumination and cogitation never hurt anyone to be sure. I might have said that aloud since Rosalie laughed that throaty laugh of hers.

"I'll encourage thinking outside the box when there is any evidence of thinking inside it."

Loftily, I sniffed, "Well, Ms Pratchett, contrary to your belief, I do actually think before I speak. It's just... well, it always just ends with let's say it anyway."

"Uh-huh. And how is that going for you?"

"It's gone pretty well for a few decades now."

"You're lucky someone hasn't run you over with a bus or stamped you under their feet."

"Well, doesn't matter. You love me anyway."

There was silence after my words and I couldn't help but shit myself. Damn, what prompted me to say that? It was supposed to be a semi-serious joke, but it came out far differently than how it sounded in my head. My palms got all sweaty and I think I cussed under my breath a couple of times. On the other hand, perhaps it might have come out stream-like. Fuckity-fuck-fuck-shit-damn-fuck!

After a few heart-stopping moments, Rosalie said carefully, "Yes, I think I just might do. Love you, that is. However, we might need to reaffirm that. A lot."

She loved me. Wow. Too soon? Not soon enough? Too trusting? Too on the rebound? I don't care. She loved me. Me! For some reason, the sun shone even brighter than before and I grinned broadly at her. She smiled back, a little hesitant at first, then out came the megawatt beam. God, it was glorious. I'm sure mine was just as bright. I found myself humming under my breath: Oh, the sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home...

"Alice!"

Turning my head, I realized that I had moved dangerously close to the edge of the road. I swerved, swore and everything swung around dizzyingly as I attempted to right my little car's path, but when we came to a stop...

"My eyes! My eyes!"

"Rose!" Hurriedly, I tried to ascertain what was wrong with her, but her hands were firmly held over her face. "What is it? Are you hurt? What's wrong!"

"It's them!" She pointed with one shaking finger while her other hand covered her eyes. "Look! Don't look! I can see... oh God, I am traumatized... again!"

I cast my eyes around and saw it... them. Every single little detail was imprinted on my brain in indelible ink. It was like slow motion, but at the same time, everything happened so quickly. Men. Two of them. Jasper. Edward. Getting busy. What the everlasting fuck!

-a-

Quotes:
I like you. You like me. We're a happy family. ~ Barney, the purple dinosaur.
'Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive' ~ John Sheffield
"Because you have been down there Neo, you know that road, you know exactly where it ends. And I know that's not where you want to be." ~Trinity, The Matrix
"I protect that which matters most." ~Seraph, Matrix Reloaded
Oh, the sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home... ~ song

Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so. ~ Pinky and the Brain. Cartoon. Famous.

Refs:
FMBs - fuck me boots, usually knee high to thigh high. Calf length does not count, no matter what one says.
Angels and MC Hammer - a scene from Charlie's Angels where the Angels are dancing to that song.

AN: Thank you to all my readers. I have a question... inquiring minds want to know: what particular show, book, movie or other reference makes you LOL or squee like a fangirl most?