A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): The much-awaited fancy dinner with Leon's prospective girlfriend is almost here! Leon apparently knows nothing about being a civilian-I mean, did you see what he wore as "plain clothes" in Season 2? The what-to-wear scene is borrowed loosely from a UK "Being Human" season 1 episode.
WARNINGS: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.
Previous Stories:
The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)
…
FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE
Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date.
…
As a consequence of the runaway table, Leon lost track of time, what with all the apologizing to irate merchants, getting the pigs back into their pens, and picking up the debris from more than one cart. When he managed to check the time it was almost sundown, and he all but ran through the marketplace to grab some new clothes he thought were suitable, wash up (no time to wash his hair, but it wasn't horribly manky yet) and get ready.
Well, he did have a few minutes to spare….
He found Gaius's apothecary easily enough this time, and thanked God that getting rid of the table had done the trick. It was now sitting placidly by the town gates. But when he stepped inside he did not find Gaius. Merlin was sitting at the table eating soup.
"Oh. Sorry. Do you know where Gaius is?"
"He's taking a bath." Merlin cocked his head. "What are you holding?"
"Er—" Leon coughed, wrapping the bundle of new clothes up in his arms. He wasn't really sure if this was the sort of thing you could ask…but Merlin was his friend, after all, and he trusted his judgment…. "Do you know, um, what—what kids are wearing these days?"
Merlin laughed at that, until he realized Leon was actually completely serious, at which point he tried to cover the laugh with a cough. Merlin probably knew what people wore—he was out and about enough to have noticed things here and there that seemed to be popular. And he'd certainly washed enough clothes to know what Some People thought were fashionable. Also, the slightly pleading look Leon was sure he was giving without meaning to probably made Merlin take pity on him.
"Um... I might? I can try to help." He pointed to a screen in the corner that Leon was eyeing. "Is this for that dinner Gwaine got you to agree to?" he asked.
"—Yeah," Leon said, relieved to find that Merlin didn't laugh too hard at him. He dove behind the screen and changed quickly. "I was going to ask Gaius—I don't wear plain clothes very often, so maybe you can just let me know what you think...ladies like to see that you try, don't they?" He came out wearing one of the first outfits he picked out—it stood out to him because it was a very bright yellow. It was a lot of yellow. But yellow was a good, color, wasn't it? "Now, tell me honestly—is this too flash?"
Merlin blinked, and then blinked again, because the effect of the yellow and maroon together was making his eyes do funny things. He tactfully did not ask Leon if he was planning on joining one of the traveling minstrel shows. "It's very yellow. Maybe something less bright?" he said instead.
Leon looked down, trying not to get blinded himself. "You're right. Something darker!" He tried this next, feeling quite suave and sexy in the next outfit. He pulled the hood up and struck a pose. "How about this? Sort of mysterious, eh?"
Merlin looked at Leon for a moment, wondering where he had acquired the clothing of a woodsman. Or perhaps an outlaw. Maybe both, now that he thought about it. And what was with the hood? "The color isn't bad, but I'm not sure about the hood..." he said.
"Really? I thought it was sort of..." Merlin glared at him. "Alright, fine." He tried this next, thinking the bright red tights really accented his legs.
Merlin actually jumped back. "Whoa!"
"What?"
Merlin recovered, unable to take his eyes off the scarlet fabric. "Did you find anything that doesn't have hose? I haven't seen anyone wearing those. Except maybe George, at feasts," he said, "Sorry."
Leon blinked. "What, no?"
"Definitely not. No hose."
Leon pursed his lips. "Well. At least I can return it." He then snorted like an indignant child and sulked off to change. It was the last outfit. "Now, I know you can't object to this. I've seen Gwaine wear this exact thing."
This time, Merlin snorted- - but not in indignance, in amusement. "But, Leon, Gwaine doesn't care what he wears. That just looks like you couldn't be bothered," he said. "Still, at least there's no hose. Maybe you could cobble something together out of it all?" He picked up the clothes Leon had discarded, which were heaped on the table. Leon looked over his shoulder as he considered them. It didn't look terribly promising.
"Maybe we should ask Galehaut…."
"—Yeah, maybe you're right…"
Galehaut turned out to be surprisingly helpful. He had an extensive wardrobe he was only too willing to share, and with a combination of his clothes and the ones that Leon had bought, they came up with the outfit that Leon now stood in front of the mirror wearing. It started with his dress boots, which were still a little scuffed from the Friday Knights but still cleaner than his work boots. He rubbed the toe of one feverishly on the back of his calf in a vain attempt to get it clean. He was wearing Galehaut's trousers, which were almost as tight as hose and were a bit short, but that didn't matter because they were tucked into the boots. Then it was the loose white shirt he had bought to go under the yellow jacket, but instead of the jacket he wore a dark green tunic, another addition from Galehaut. It hung to somewhere just below his…
"It's too short," he said, tugging the edge of the tunic down as he continued to try to clean his boots.
"Goodness me, you're shy!" Galehaut said with a laugh.
"I think it looks good," Merlin said, sounding somewhat surprised.
"I look like a pirate!"
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"It's not—ARGH MY BOOTS ARE DIRTY AND I CAN'T GET THEM QUITE ALL THE WAY CLEAN—"
"Leon, Leon, Leon!" Galehaut grabbed him by the shoulders as Merlin hurriedly bent down to clean the smudges off the boots. When Leon looked up Galehaut was grinning. "You're going to do fine."
"He's right," Merlin said. "Just take a deep breath and be yourself."
"I can barely breathe in this tunic," Leon said, shifting petulantly.
"Chin up, Leon," Galehaut said. "No, really—you have terrible posture. Up, up! You'll be able to breathe just fine if you stand up straight…."
…
Gwaine was a Ladies' Man. Everyone knew this. Heck, he was the Ladies' Man!
He was probably being too hard on Leon, if he stopped to think about it. You couldn't expect someone as emotionally stunted as old Leo to suddenly turn into a smooth-talking stud, so Gwaine assumed that there would be some rough patches in his quest to make Elaine and Leon an item. The fact of the matter was that one learned the most about these things from experience, and as a matter of fact he had been thrown into the deep end to be taught how to swim and had turned out all right. So Leon could buck up and do the same.
Or so Gwaine thought.
The sight of Leon gussied up like a peacock, flanked by Merlin and Galehaut would, at any other time, have been hilarious. But this evening it sparked off a memory and a realization that made his heart skip a beat-
That was tonight!
"See, what did I tell you?" Galehaut said, gesturing to Gwaine.
Gwaine panicked further, though was pretty sure he kept it more or less together. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, feigning nonchalance while his mind raced to think up a legitimate excuse as to why he was in the very clothes he had trained in today and was currently lady-less with a half an hour to go before the very important dinner. He would just have to say he lost track of time (which was true) and he couldn't care less that he was running late (which wasn't entirely true) and he could blame his wardrobe on his general roguish contempt for custom. Yes, that would work: that sounded just like something he'd do!
"It just looks like you can't be asked," Galehaut said, with obvious disdain. Gwaine quite liked Galehaut, in spite of his painfully aristocratic demeanor, and had pegged him as one of thosetypes—not that there was anything wrong with that—the moment he clapped eyes on the ginger-headed nobleman. That wasn't a problem, but Gwaine certainly didn't appreciate Galehaut's self-assumed role as fashion watchman. He was probably the reason Leon looked like a turkey.
"Well, maybe I can't," Gwaine snapped, then, as Leon paled, decided to go easy on the lad and change tactics: "Only joking, mate, just on my way to change—what's everyone in a fuss for? Am I late?" he added, sounding carefree and slightly lost.
"Um. Yeah," Merlin piped up.
Gwaine glared at him. "Well if you don't mind, I was just about to collect my guest for the evening, so unless there was anything else? Good. Back in a jiff, Leon, I'm sure you can manage opening conversation without me—haha, again, joking—I'll be back in time!" he shouted down the hall, excusing himself as quickly as he could. It was a good thing he had a reputation for being rude, because he was pretty sure they all had something further to say to him, but as soon as he rounded the corner, Gwaine broke into a sprint.
He reached the stables in record time and pulled himself up onto Pussy's back without bothering to saddle him. Studly snorted at him to be so ignored, but Gwaine didn't have the time. Actually, really, everything was good. If he planned this just right, and—
"Cora, Cora!" Gwaine shouted, dropping down off the steed and holding tight to the skittish horse's mane. "Wait, wait, don't close up shop yet! Please tell me you're open!"
Cora looked at him, bemused. "And what can I do for you, Sir Gwaine?"
Gwaine didn't even fuss about being called "Sir" in this end of town. His eyes darted around the half-packed-up cart of shinies and pretties. He was going to look ridiculous, but—
"That black shirt, there in the back. How much?"
Cora eyed him warily. What is it with people wanting to tell him how to dress? Maybe he wanted to look cheap! "For you? Gwaine, that one's far too small, you'll—"
"I know, look like a harlot, I know."
"I was going to say 'pirate', but—"
"Just give it to me."
"Something the matter, Gwaine?" she chuckled, plucking the silk shirt from its hanger.
"Matter? What, me? Hardly! And that bundle of roses, I'll take those, too. How much?" Sir Gwaine stripped his shirt off right there, taking the new shirt-more of a costume than a practical shirt—and pulling it over his chest. It was just a little too tight, but he figured he could probably pull it off as though he meant to buy his shirt too small for the sake of fashion or irony or something.
Anyway, the girls packing up the shop couldn't stop staring. Gwaine decided to think that was a good thing, and he flashed them a wink that sent them all into giggles.
"Twelve pence," Cora growled, eyeing him eye the younger girls—and did her own gaze rake him up and down, as well? That was a good sign!
He raised his hands in mock-surrender and gave her thirteen pence before leaping back up onto his white steed and galloping towards the Rising Sun like a madman.
He had, thank you very much, not completely forgotten about the dinner, and yesterday evening had asked one of the twins, Mari—no, Cadi—no, definitely Mari—at any rate, the blondeone—to join him for dinner. She had readily agreed, and he had only to collect her.
There was one place where the twins could always be found: the Rising Sun. And sure enough—
"Cadi, my love!" Gwaine spied her immediately upon entering the throng, spun her around, and kissed her hand.
"I'm Mari," she giggled.
"Oh—"
"No, she's not!" the other one appeared-Mari, surely, now that he had them side by side—and tugged her sister's hair.
"Ah, but can you blame me? It's a wonder I don't go blind from your beauty every time I look at the pair of you!" Gwaine said in his defense, grinning widely and, plucking the bouquet of roses into two behind his back and handing each girl a bundle of flowers.
"Oh!" they squealed, in unison, snatching the roses up and smelling them.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"Ready?" Cadi said.
"Ready?" Mari said.
"Em, yes. Dinner?" Gwaine tried, more tentatively. At least he wasn't the only one who had forgotten!
"Oh, yes, that's right!" Mari exclaimed, turning to her sister. "Sir Gwaine is taking us to dinner at the castle!"
"Ooh, but I've nothing to wear!" Cadi complained.
"Actually, I—" Gwaine tried, and the pair looked at him. For the second time tonight Gwaine's heart skipped a beat in horrified realization. He hadn't meant to take the both of them! Then again, he couldn't well tell Cadi "no" now, could he? No, he would have to make this look good. And how could you not make having Camelot's finest matching set on either arm look good, I mean, really? Leon might fuss a bit, but he'd soon get used to it, and the more the merrier, of course! "I…think you look ravishing, as always!"
"As do you," Mari growled, running her fingers along his chest and the silk shirt covering it.
He took her hand, laughing, and ushered them out. "Come now, we don't want to keep the others waiting."
"Ooh! He's come on the white pony!"
"Hello, Pussy Willow!"
Of course, the dumb brute was behaving for them.
"All right, up you go!" Gwaine said, lifting them onto the horse and pulling himself up between them. He might have been concerned with over-burdening the white palfrey if the two girls hadn't been half his size and a third his weight combined.
"Are we ready, ladies?"
"Yes, hurry!" Cadi giggled.
"What? Why?" Gwaine said, urging Pussy onward.
"We didn't pay our tab! Teehee!"