Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in Twilight; I'm just enjoying their company for a while, playing dress-up with Alice, working on their cars with Rosalie, and wrestling with all the guys.

Chapter 13

The next few weeks passed quickly. Edward tried to talk to me every day at work, Alice sent me invitations to lunch every day, and I ignored them both. I admit it was childish, but I was not going to allow anyone to make a fool of me again. My heart ached for Edward to take me in his arms and hold me but I couldn't get passed the idea that he only wanted me for sex anyway, a virginal conquest, and I wasn't a prize to be won.

I became known around the office as the editorial nazi. I was vicious and detailed in my job. I worked from early in the morning, sometimes late into the night. Mr. Banner and I became friends. We were in the office alone together for hours and it was nice to have someone to talk to. When we were alone he had me call him Kevin and he'd tell me stories about his family. He had a wife and two boys who worshipped him and he worshipped them right back. They were a happy family, one of the happiest I had ever seen, and I loved listening to stories about his little boys growing up.

I went out every few days with my roommates and their boyfriends. They tried setting me up on dates but I resisted. I wasn't going to have a relationship again anytime soon. Really I still hadn't ever had one. Edward was a fling. A fling with a blood sucking vampire. I didn't have very good taste in men.

I started attending two different early morning exercise classes, alternating daily between sweaty Yoga and Tae Kwon Do. Although I'd never be able to defend myself against an attacking vampire, I wanted to be able to defend myself again the other scum of the earth that were out there.

I caught Edward watching me from his car a few times as I left the studio. That only made me angrier. Why was he watching me?

And so time passed working for the Seattle Post Intelligencer. I progressed quickly at work, quickly in the gym, but I stayed stagnant in my personal life. Inside I was waiting, waiting for my heart to heal after I was ready to give it so freely to a man I just met.

Fall decended on Seattle and the cold, wet breeze cut through all the clothes I had. It was time to get some more clothing, something warm. I decided that even I had to do some shopping every once in a while. The last shopping trip I had been on was with Alice and I had avoided the mall ever since.

One Friday after work and after Tae Kwon Do class, I decided it was time to venture to the mall. I found a boutique that had everything I would need. I picked up some pretty wool suits with some colorful blouses to wear with them. Tight jeans that showed off my butt, sweaters, turtlenecks, everything a girl could need for her time off. All the extra time at the gym had toned my body even more and the new clothes really showed off my body. I left feeling good about myself for the first time in a long time. Look out world, here I come.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Even if my days were filled with self-assurance and strength, my nights were filled with thoughts and dreams of Edward. I learned to distract myself with housework and reading books while I was awake, but had no choice but to surrender myself to my dreams at night.

I got home from shopping that night and washed and put away all my new clothes. I convinced myself that my t-shirts needed to be refolded. I took them all out of their drawer and dumped them on the bed. I carefully began folding them, putting all my thought and focus into each fold to avoid all thoughts of him.

I chewed on my lip, focusing very hard on a dark blue t-shirt when someone knocked on my door. "Come in."

I heard the door open and then I didn't hear anything else. My roommates were going out with their boyfriends tonight. I assumed Angela was coming to tell me goodbye. "Have fun tonight Angela, I'll see you in the morning."

"Bella, can we please talk?"

My head snapped up and my eyes narrowed on the tall, handsome man standing in my doorway. "What do you want Edward?"

"A chance to explain, please just give me ten minutes."

Against my better judgement I nodded. "You can sit in my desk chair for 10 minutes and say whatever you came to say."

Edward sat across the room from me in my desk chair. "You look beautiful Bella."

"Your time is ticking Edward, do you really want to waist it on small talk?"
I went back to folding my shirt. I wouldn't let him see the emotion in my face. I wanted to run over and throw myself in his arms but that would put him in control and the last time I did that, I got hurt.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I realize now that I came across as a complete asshole at the end of our last date, but I promise it isn't what you think. I wasn't mad at you for not coming home with me."

I looked up at him, the hurt and pain filled my eyes despite my efforts to keep it out. His eyes were echoing the same pain.

"I was mad at myself. I never should have asked you, I never should have put any pressure on you. I was ashamed with myself. I was raised better than that. It's been so long since I felt any kind of physical longing for a woman that I didn't know how to react and I didn't control myself."

Believing him despite every attempt not to, there was still one thing that wasn't explained. "Why weren't you there the next day to pick me up? Why didn't you tell me this the next day?"

"I wanted to Bella. The physical longing I felt for you, it took a toll on my resistance. I got home and my eyes were pitch black again and I could smell all the people in my building, it was overwhelming. My brothers didn't give me a chance, they took me by the arms and forced me into Emmett's jeep and drove me to the forest. I was so out of it that I didn't come out of my daze for two whole days. By then, you wouldn't answer my phone calls and you avoided me at the office. Alice misses you, I miss you, my family is getting so tired of me moping about that my brother has been joking that he is going to commit me. It's been miserable."

"Bella, this is my last attempt at talking to you. If you still don't want me, I'd understand. I'm a monster – not just because I'm what I am but because I can't control the other physical need that I'm just realizing is still there. If you don't want me, I'm leaving Seattle and moving, I need a clean break so I can try to move on. But I was hoping, if I could just get you to listen, you might give me one more chance."

Edward was finished but I didn't know what to say. Of course I wanted him, but how do I tell him that without making it harder on him? My silence only made the pain in his eyes worse and he got up to leave. I had to stop him.

"Edward stop."

Edward stopped still in his tracks and looked at me. If he could cry, he would be crying at this moment. My beautiful angel. All the hate, all the anger fell away and I knew that more than anything I needed to take all that pain away.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I love you so much Edward. I've missed you more than I can ever tell you."

The tears that I had been holding back for months finally fell down my cheeks and Edward wiped them away. His cold fingers wiped each of them off of my face. "Oh Bella, I love you too. I have wanted to tell you that everyday for the longest time. I have waited for you for more than a century, and I will never let you go."

His lips touched mine and I was where I wanted to be again. With Edward. The kiss deepened and I felt my resistance fall away. I was ready for Edward, ready to give myself to him. I broke the kiss.

"Edward, there's something I want to tell you. Something I should have said that night. I wanted to stop you as you were walking away; I wanted to give myself to you so bad that night. I have been aching for you ever since. Edward, I'm ready to make love, if that's what you want. I am ready to give myself to you completely."

Edward stopped breathing. His eyes visibly darkened and I worried I had pushed him too far. "Bella, I don't want you to think I only came to you tonight to get you in bed. Give me three dates, five dates with just us, and we'll make love. It will be perfect, nothing less than perfect when we do make love. Is that acceptable?"

I nodded my head. Three dates. "Can we have our first date tonight?"

Edward laughed and nodded. "Get dressed, I have the perfect place for us to go."