Towards the end, I heard a piece of wood squeak in protest. I looked back, and I thought I saw Bella's retreating figure.
No, you're imagining things. Bella's dead, and lying in the closed casket. Suddenly, a stabbing pain hit my side. I crumpled at the pain.
"Edward, are you okay?" Carlisle's concerned voice asked.
"It's…just…the wound," I panted. "I want some fresh air." The pain subsided, and I walked outside. I opened the door, and I thought I saw Bella flee around the corner of the church. I tried to follow, but by the time I got to where I saw her, she was gone.
"Goodbye Edward," I heard a faint voice say. It sounded like Bella. I shivered, but not because I was cold.
-Bella's POV-
When Aaron received information about my funeral things between us became a little heated. "Aaron, I have to see if my family is alright. I must see them one more time."
"Are you insane? One mistake and everything we live for will be ruined. If one person sees you, it's going to be trouble for both of us!" He shouted. I put a hand on his shoulder.
"Nobody will see me, I promise."
"No, Bella. I forbid you to go." I bit my lip so I wouldn't say anything stupid. Instead, I stormed out of the house.
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The whole room was black in white. I stood in the shadow of the balcony. I saw my parents talking to a pastor. I choked back a cry of sadness. The expressions on their faces were unbearable. Edward came into the church and walked up to my parents. He looked so much better through my new pair of eyes.
"Edward, I'm so happy you came. I know Bella's death is just as hard on you as it is on us," Renée said.
"I wouldn't miss something that would mean so much to Bella."
"She loved you so much."
"I know. I'll miss her as much as you will. I really loved your daughter," he managed to choke out. I didn't pay attention to what was said next. I didn't care. Edward doesn't love me anymore. The purpose of my life doesn't love me… I shook my head. No, that was my old life. I'm a vampire now, and Edward is human. When I died, it changed my life. I no longer belong to Edward. Somehow, I didn't believe my words.
Once the pastor starting talking, I couldn't keep my eyes off Edward. He grimaced whenever the pastor said 'Bella' or any past tense sentence with my name in it. Eventually Edward didn't seem to pay attention at all. Somehow, I was smug. Edward still loved me, even though I was dead. Death didn't change how we felt about each other.
Eventually I got enough of seeing my upset family. I turned to leave, but I nudged a squeaky floor board. I froze, which was a big mistake. I was immediately aware of Edward looking up. I quickly left, hoping he didn't see me. Once I got to the front entrance of the church, I heard him moan in pain. It took all my self control not to go barging in those front doors. Remember what you promised Aaron, 'I will not be seen'. I repeated to myself.
"Edward, are you okay?" Carlisle's concerned voice asked.
"It's…just…the wound," Edward panted. "I want some fresh air." I heard him amble his way up the isle and towards the front door, right where I was standing. I couldn't make myself move fast enough. Somehow, I wanted Edward to see me, and follow. I heard the door open, close, and Edward's footsteps as he pursued me. I ran into the woods, but just enough to be concealed by the shadows. I peaked at his face, just one last time. "Goodbye Edward," I whispered.
-Five Years later-
-Edward's POV-
I slowly walked to the top of our hill. Was it really five years that had passed?
It felt like centuries. Leaves crumbled under my weight. The surrounding trees were bare, just like my life without Bella. I sat down, and wrapped my arms around my knees.
I clamped my hands around the five red roses I brought.
I stared at the granite. My eyes unfocused, the writing was incomprehensible, but I somehow already knew it. My throat closed, tears stinging my eyes. I thought about the first time I decided to come here.
"Hi Bella," I had greeted quietly. "Wow, I don't know what to say. I mean, I'm talking to a rock. But what am I supposed to say? That I'm happy? Well, I'm not. Am I supposed to lie? Or maybe I should just say it's going to be okay, but I know that's not what's going to happen. Maybe I can just pretend the pain I'm constantly in doesn't exist, but you know better. Oh, Bella," I sobbed freely now. "I wish you were here with me. You would tell me what to say, or not to say. Bella, I want you to come back. Give me a sign, give me a sign that you're listening to me!" Of course nothing happened then and now.
A leaf crunched behind me. "Daddy, why are you sitting here alone?" I didn't turn as I spoke to my daughter. I didn't want to frighten her with my tears.
"It's just a ceremony I like to have. A great friend died this day five years ago. I like to take some time out of my day to remember her."
"Is she the girl I was named after?"
"Yes, Bella, you're named after my friend." I walked up to my side and sat down.
"Daddy, you're hurt." I looked at my hand.
"No, sweetie, I'm not hurt. It's just the thorns." I opened my hand to reveal the blood stained thorns.
"…but you're crying."
"The memory of my friend makes me sad. That's why I don't talk about her much."
"Will you tell me about Bella?"
-Bella's POV-
The wind whipped around me as I stood in the middle of the clearing. I stared at what would have torn me apart when I was human, but it still hurt me just as deeply. I didn't understand it.
Aaron warned me against such action. "Seeing him again will just hurt you more. I don't approve of this, Bella. It's just going to get harder and harder." He was worked at the hospital so frequently, that I had little company during the day. After the funeral, I made a habit of following Edward around. I knew it was dangerous, but I just wanted to see him one last time. Unfortunately, there was no last time.
Seeing him so often was harder for me now. I knew it would eventually come, but he was still so young. Why were humans so fragile and why were they mortal? What was the meaning of my existence? Before I 'died', I would have easily said I belonged to Edward. What happened when your purpose died?
The granite stone mocked me. Did Edward find peace when he was dead? Would I ever find peace? Or did I trade peace for immortality?
My eyes stung, wishing for tears that would not come. Why did life have to be so dang unfair?
A/N I know, you're probably all confused. I feel really cruel right now. Bella found Edward's grave in a clearing. Yes, Edward is really dead in this story. I might create a sequel where he pretends his death, but for now he's really dead. I'm sorry life is cruel. I hope you like my story.