Love Sees More 3: Greyback's Pack

Chapter 13 - The End Is Near

Remus had taken to sleeping in the cave, which was reserved for the epsilons. However, Greyback had told him that he was allowed to sleep anywhere he wished, and he was taking full advantage of that. Remus figured that if he was going to try to sway as many of the werewolves over to Dumbledore's side as possible, his best bet was with the lowest ranking ones. He reasoned that they wouldn't be as close or as loyal to Greyback as some of the others, and they'd have the least to lose if they ever did decide to abandon the pack.

Remus thought that by sharing their sleeping arrangements, they'd realize that he didn't think himself any better than the rest of them, and that he'd begin to gain their trust. His attempts were proving to be futile, however; with the exception of Althea, they still all seemed very distrustful of him. Since Remus held such a high place in the pack, most of the others were leery of even talking to him, thinking that he would go running to Greyback with anything they said that was even remotely out of order.

Moreover, many viewed what had happened to Talon as a betrayal of the pack on Remus's part. Talon was a bastard, yes, and everyone had hated him, but the rest of the werewolves very much had a pack mentality. Many of them were there for the very same reason - because they had nowhere else to go. They were all in this together, and there was safety in numbers. They may not always get along or agree with each other, but this was their family (or at least the closest thing to a family they had). They did not approve of causing problems for each other where Greyback was concerned.

They knew Talon was a troublemaker, and that he hadn't been entirely innocent in the whole situation, but as far as they were concerned, Remus was the new one. Before he had come into their pack, they had all been living at least somewhat peacefully among each other. It was only when Remus had joined that the problems with Talon had started at all, which didn't help Remus's position any. Some of the werewolves were even beginning to suspect that Remus had come to them for the sole purpose of destroying the pack. Remus had only let things with Talon turn out like they had because he was trying to get on Greyback's good side; he never imagined that he'd be sabotaging his efforts with the rest of the pack in the process.

On the other hand, at least no one was causing anymore problems for Remus. After what had happened to Talon, none of the other werewolves wanted to suffer a similar fate, so they were keeping quiet about their reservations for the most part. Remus sometimes caught them whispering about him among themselves, but none of them (as far as he knew) were going to Greyback with their concerns. He was pretty sure that Greyback wouldn't have any of it anyway, and that he certainly would have heard about it if they had.

Remus knew that Greyback would want him to take action against them for their blatant disrespect - whispering about their second-in-command was certainly not allowed. Remus was also well aware that Greyback would want to hear about, or else for Remus to discipline the werewolves himself if he saw fit. But he didn't. If Remus had any hope of swaying them over to Dumbledore's side at all, it wouldn't do to become physical with them, or to tattle on them to Greyback. Let them see exactly what kind of person Remus was when he didn't cause them any problems over their insubordination; maybe they'd start to trust him then. Remus only hoped that Greyback wouldn't ever catch them at it, because he was terrified of another Talon situation erupting, of being forced into possibly disciplining any of them. But so far nothing more had happened; they were obviously all being extra cautious, at least when Greyback was around.

Remus even began to suspect that many of the other werewolves were jealous of him. After all, he was the newest one there, and he already outranked all of them except for Greyback himself. The others had all been there for years, many of them still in the second to lowest rank. Remus imagined that a lot of them were pretty frustrated with him, that he just seemed to waltz in and charm Greyback so easily.

Remus would be lying if he said that very fact didn't scare him. He oftentimes wondered if he was fooling Greyback at all. The alpha wolf seemed to pride himself on being able to tell when people were being untruthful with him. Greyback was a bit full of himself, but sometimes it seemed like he knew exactly what Remus was up to. It occurred to Remus that he might very well be the one that was being deceived, and that Greyback was only letting this continue to punish Remus for trying to put one over on him. Then again, Greyback was not a patient werewolf. At all. Many times, he told Remus that he wouldn't waste any time in ripping Remus's throat out if he found out he was being deceitful. Not that the thought of being mauled by Greyback made him feel any better, but he didn't like the feeling that Greyback might be playing a game of cat and mouse with him either.

If nothing else, Remus at least felt like he was getting a little bit closer to Althea. They spent most days talking, usually about their lives before they had joined the pack. Remus still hadn't told her what he was really doing there, but he kept planting ideas in her head that there was a better place - a better life - than the one they were currently living in. That she didn't have to settle for this godforsaken place, because there were other options if she wanted them badly enough.

Remus had long since lost track of the days, but it was going on almost two full months since he had been there, because the moon was getting rather large and looming in the sky again. Many times, he felt like using a rock to carve marks into the wall of the cave in order to keep track of the days, but he had quickly decided against it. That was something that people in prisons did, and the last thing he wanted was to do more things to remind himself that that was exactly what this place was. He abhorred the moon even more for doing so.

He almost couldn't believe it, that he had been living a lie for that long. That it had been so long since he had lived like an actual human being and since he had even seen home. The last time he had been to number twelve, Grimmauld Place was right after the last full moon. He'd gone there out of desperation, because he had felt so close to breaking down after the task that Greyback had asked him to perform in order to prove his loyalty. He was dying to go back again, to see his best friend once more, but he didn't want to risk it. Remus had been extremely lucky, and he thought Greyback had been very forgiving of his missteps so far. Remus didn't want to push his luck any more than he already had.

Remus would have to return home before the next full moon in order to get the Wolfsbane potion. Remus sure as hell wasn't going to go through a transformation with the pack without it, not when they made it a point to position themselves near populated areas. Remus would never forgive himself if he ended up biting someone as a result, but the thought of going home again was almost too much to bear. Oh, he wanted nothing more than to return home forever, but just going there for a few hours only made this experience all the more difficult for him. Every time he set foot in his home, it just made it that much harder to return to the compound, to continue on with the farce his life had become. In fact, home almost felt like a carrot hanging in front of a turtle, the one that made the turtle keep going out of hunger, but the one that the animal would never really get, the one that would remain perpetually out of his reach.

Remus would go to get the Wolfsbane the night before the full moon and no sooner. Greyback did tell him that he was allowed to leave the compound if he wanted, just as long as he was back in time for all before-meal meetings, but Remus wanted to put as much time in between his visits as possible. He didn't want to make it too obvious what he was up to, and he feared that by leaving the compound regularly, he might arouse even more suspicion from the other werewolves.

He was also afraid that if he went home again, he'd be tempted to stay there and forget this entire plan. If he went on the night before the full moon in order to get the Wolfsbane, he felt like that would a staunch reminder that his time with the werewolves wasn't over yet. That it wouldn't be over until he did something - swayed someone over to their side or learned some epic secret that would help them in the war.

"It's almost lunchtime," said Althea, approaching him and pulling Remus from his thoughts.

He was in what had become their customary position where they liked to sit and talk - outside of the cave, leaning up against the side wall. Giving her a half-hearted smile, he adjusted his legs and pressed his back into the wall of the cave, wriggling around. Nearly two months of sleeping on shoddy beds and the ground was beginning to catch up with him. He longed even more for his bed at home, for the mattress, his pillows, and the blankets, all worn and soft with age.

"Wonderful," Remus muttered. He had come to hate mealtimes with the pack. Trying to sustain himself on whatever nuts and berries he could find while the others made it a point to hunt live animals only served to alienate Remus from the others even more. Greyback told him that he could eat whatever he pleased, but the others were already suspicious of him, and this didn't help matters any. But Remus would never lower himself to catching and killing anything, not even in the interest of proving his loyalty. He wouldn't.

When Althea reached the cave, she sat down next to Remus, leaning back against the stone wall as well. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"About my home," Remus answered almost before he could even think about it. He turned his face away from her and added quietly, "Before I came here."

"You miss it." Althea's tone was knowing.

Remus shook his head. "There's not really anything to miss," he lied, even though he suspected that he was already fighting a losing battle. He and Althea never came right out and said things a lot of the time; they danced around topics and made insinuations, but it always seemed like the other one knew exactly what it was they meant.

"That's what you say, but…I know you do." She started playing with a strand of her hair, which she had a habit of doing when she didn't want to look at him. "It's in the way you lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling of the cave so intently, it's like you're reading it. Like there are words written there that only you can see."

Remus turned towards her again and raised an eyebrow. "You watch me sleep?"

Althea shrugged, and Remus thought he could see a pinkish color growing in her face. "You're not sleeping anyway."

"Not much, no," Remus sighed. "But how do you know I'm thinking about home?" His eyes darted around the area, and he lowered his voice before leaning in closer to her and going on. "I could be thinking up ways to try and get Greyback to bathe, for instance."

Althea snorted loudly, pressing a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. "And he does need one. Badly. But that's not what you're thinking about."

"Althea…"

"You told me once that this isn't you," she interrupted. "That this place isn't you, how you're acting isn't you. Sometimes I think that a part of you is still at home."

Remus wanted to deny it; she was coming awfully close to figuring him out and that terrified him, but what could he say? It was the complete and absolute truth - a part of him was still at home. It was where he belonged, the only place on earth where he felt totally accepted. Of course a part of him would always be there. Not to mention, his best friend was there. Remus almost felt like they were two halves of the same whole - Remus the calm and sensible part, Sirius the wild and crazy part. They complimented each other perfectly. People might suspect that they would drive each other to the nuthouse after a while, and sometimes they did; most of the time, however, they seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces - one not making sense without the other.

"You're not here for the same reasons the rest of us are," Althea said on. "I think you do have a place to go, and that you're not here as a last resort."

Remus felt like he was on the verge of spilling his guts. Althea kept prodding, and Remus could only keep everything inside for so long. "Althea," he repeated, "I told you that there are things going on that you can't understand and that I can't explain to you. Not yet." He pressed his head back into the wall of the cave, looking up at the sky, perhaps for answers. "Or maybe I can. I don't know."

Althea was quiet for a long time, but then she said, "I suppose I can understand that. You don't trust me yet, and why would you? I'm just a werewolf in Greyback's pack. None of us are very trustworthy."

At that moment, many of the werewolves started emerging from the woods and heading to the mess hall for the customary before-meal meeting. Suddenly, Remus didn't hate said meetings so much, because he was more than ready for his conversation with Althea to be over.

"We're going to be late," he said, getting quickly to his feet. He didn't wait for her to follow him, not like he usually did, but made his way to the mess hall among the throng of werewolves.

Once again, Greyback was the last one to arrive. He took a moment to look around and make sure everyone was accounted for as usual. When he had taken note of everyone, he frowned deeply, then looked around the room again, slower this time, counting more carefully. When he finished the second time, Greyback stood there, looking very puzzled, but Remus didn't understand why. No one was missing that he could he see. Perhaps Greyback was going senile.

Suddenly, Greyback threw his head back and laughed. "It's funny. Sometimes I keep thinking that Talon should be here, but he's not. Obviously." He licked his lips as if he could still taste the former second-in-command on them.

Remus closed his eyes against the stark reminder of what had happened to Talon. Of what he had allowed to happen to Talon. Of just how much he disrupted this entire pack by thinking that he could be a part of it.

"No matter," Greyback hummed cheerily. He clasped his hands behind his back and started to walk back and forth in the middle of the group. He loved to do that when he spoke to them. Remus suspected it made him feel important. "I have an announcement today," Greyback said. "As I'm sure most of you are aware, I've been quite pleased with my new second-in-command. Remus has been doing a wonderful job since being promoted to his new rank three weeks ago. I've had absolutely no reservations, then or now, with my decision. I suspect that might come as a shock to some of you." He paused in his steps and swept a glare across the group. "I'm well aware that some of you haven't been happy with his appointment, but I see you've all learned to keep your opinions to yourselves. And you'll continue to do so, because that's not for any of you to decide. Just me, but Remus is proving to be quite a promising beta wolf. Better than, I think, any of you could have done. Deal with it."

Remus was even more sure than ever that Greyback just liked to hear himself talk. He often made similar speeches to the pack, repeating things that they already knew very well. None of the other werewolves had been that out of line lately, so Remus really didn't think that Greyback needed to go over these things as often as he did, but apparently Greyback enjoyed it. Remus, on the other hand, hated it. It only served to put him on a pedestal, to make him even more separate from the group than he already was.

After pausing for effect, Greyback continued, "However, it has come to my attention that Remus had some help in achieving his current position. Anyone that had a part in giving me such loyal second-in-command certainly deserves to be rewarded." He took a few steps towards one of the corners. "Jameson," he said, raising a finger and motioning for her to come forward.

Althea always stood near one of the corners during meetings, and she looked absolutely put on the spot by being summoned forward. Her eyes went wide, and she reminded Remus of a deer caught in a pair of headlights. She stared at Remus for a moment, and he didn't like her expression. Not one bit. It was somewhere in between anger and accusing, and either way, Remus wondered if he had made a grave mistake in trying to get her a promotion.

Directing her eyes to floor, Althea made her way through the group until she was standing just in front of Greyback. He stared down at her, and it only now occurred to Remus how much smaller she was than him. Greyback simply towered over her, and if he ever had a reason to attack her, she wouldn't stand much of a chance. No wonder she didn't like to make a spectacle of herself.

"Jameson," Greyback drawled, seeming to savor the fact that she looked terrified. "You helped Remus when he first came here, did you not? Explained to him a little about the pack and made it a little easer for him to adjust. Is that not right?"

Althea threw her eyes towards Remus again for a moment, then back down at the floor. "Yes, sir. I suppose I did."

Greyback reached out, placing one finger underneath her chin and forcing her to look up at him. He grinned when their eyes met, that ugly toothy grin that never failed to send a shiver down Remus's spine.

"Look at me when I talk to you," Greyback softly. "It is a sign of respect after all." He released her chin, and she kept her eyes pinned on his, so Greyback seemed quite satisfied with that. "As I said, since you had a hand in giving me a stronger beta than I ever imagined, you certainly deserve to be rewarded for that. I'm moving you up a rank to delta. Congratulations."

Althea's eyes went wide again, almost as if she didn't believe it. Judging by her body language, it had almost looked like she was bracing herself to be punished, certainly not rewarded. Now that Remus thought about it, that was how most of the other werewolves looked at that moment - that they didn't believe this recent turn of events at all. None of them moved a muscle or made a sound, of course; none of them fancied angering Greyback at all.

Althea stumbled over her words before she was finally able to get out, "Thank you, sir. I'm honored." Her tone was one of disbelief, but she still she kept her eyes on Greyback, which seemed to please him even more.

"As you should be," Greyback said. He stepped away from her, turning to face the rest of the werewolves. "I trust you can all adjust to this change, and I won't have any problems from any of you over it, hm?" When a murmur of assent went through the group, Greyback said, "Very good."

He started pacing back and forth again, running one of his long yellowed fingernails over his chin like he was trying to remember something. "Oh, yes."

He turned to Bruno Canin, a wolf with straw-colored hair. He held the position of gamma in the pack, just one rank below Remus. Before Remus had been promoted to beta wolf, everyone had seemed pretty certain that Canin would have been the one to replace Talon. He had often followed Talon around, copying his every move and had seemed pretty favorable with Greyback. Until Remus had arrived, that was. Now, Greyback seemed to have a different view of all the werewolves, and he no longer seemed to like Canin as much as he once had. In fact, Greyback told Remus that Canin was nothing more than a sick little pup who wasn't capable of thinking for himself.

It was rather disconcerting just how much of an effect Remus was having on them all.

"Canin," Greyback said, "I would like you to come to my shack after lunch. I have something to discuss with you."

"Yes, sir," Canin replied, sounding slightly confused.

Remus, on the other hand, was very confused. It wasn't often that Greyback called anyone from the pack into his shack to discuss things. Remus was the one who had been in there the most recently, but only because he was Greyback's second-in-command. Remus didn't think anyone else from the pack had been in there since Talon had held that position.

"That's all for today," Greyback said. He almost looked he was going to say more, but then he thought better of it. He promptly turned on his heel and headed out of the shack.

The other werewolves began to follow, some of them whispering in hushed tones about Althea's promotion. A tiny part of Remus wondered if Greyback was still close enough to hear them, in which case, they were skating on thin ice. And so was Remus if he didn't say something.

"Excuse me," Remus barked, causing them all to stop and stare at him. It wasn't often that Remus raised his voice to them, but he thought this time was necessary. "Is there a problem?"

Many of them shook their heads rapidly, and a few of them murmured, "No, sir."

"Then I suggest that you all quietly get to lunch," Remus said firmly. "No one asked for your opinions on the matter."

They all ducked their heads, hastening their exit from the shack, until Remus was left alone with only Althea. Remus shut his eyes again, leaning back into the wall of the mess hall. Oh, how he hated having to discipline any of them. He was not cut out for any of this at all, and it made him even more uncomfortable than he already was. It felt like every time he raised his voice, any time he corrected them, it was just making the target on his back even larger.

"What was that?" Althea hissed when she was sure they were alone. She stalked over to him, her hands on her hips. "I don't need you to do me any favors, thank you very much. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself in case you hadn't noticed, and I was doing just fine before you arrived."

This was definitely not turning out the way that Remus had hoped. He opened and closed his mouth several times, not sure how he should attempt to placate her. "Althea, I didn't…" He took a deep breath, rethinking his strategy. "All I said to Greyback was the truth. That you helped me when I first arrived here. That's all. He made assumptions like he always does, which I find rather funny, considering he always says that assuming makes an arse out of you and me."

Althea didn't looked amused. Not one bit.

"I'm sorry," Remus pleaded. "I didn't know it would make you that uncomfortable. Otherwise, I wouldn't have said anything."

"I like to blend in," Althea said, moving her arms to cross them over her chest now. "Did it ever occur to you that I've held the same position here for two years because I wanted to? Because I don't like to draw any attention to myself? I'm not stupid. I know exactly what sorts of things will please Greyback, but the way things are now, he doesn't take any notice of me and that's the way I like it. I'm just…here. You constantly have to watch your step, you constantly have to be on guard that you may do something that'll anger him. I can tell from your posture - you're always so tense all the time." Remus felt like inquiring about the fact that she watched him again, but she didn't even seem to take any notice of what she had just said. "But me," she went on, "I'm just a lowly epsilon. Or I was until you interfered. Greyback doesn't care what I do. As long as I come to all the meetings and don't cause any problems, I'm free to do as I wish, and I never have to think twice about it."

She turned away from him, taking a few steps across the room. "I don't want this promotion," she sneered. "The higher you move in this pack, the more aware you have to be of your actions, of the fact that Greyback is watching you in case he ever needs any other betas." She scoffed. "Of course, you can't tell Greyback that, because he'll accuse you of being ungrateful."

"You never said-"

"You never asked!" Althea cut him off. "It might have been nice if you had run this past me first before going to Greyback with it."

"I told you, I didn't know that Greyback was going to do this," Remus lied. This was bad. So far, Remus had been telling as few lies to Althea as possible. Actually, he was only hiding certain things from her, not outright lying, and he almost felt like they were at the point of being completely open with each other. Almost. This was not going to help matters at all, especially when he felt like had been so close to being able to tell her the truth. Now he was lying about what he said and what Greyback did, which could all very well come back to bite him in the arse.

"Yeah," Althea said, "I may make comments about how lucky you are to have gotten your position so quickly, but the truth is, I couldn't care less what rank you or anyone else here holds. It's just a silly title, and as I said, I do just enough to blend in here. I have to act like ranks and things impress me. It's an act, Remus. An act. Surely you're quite familiar with that."

"I don't-"

Althea rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't. Don't go over that rubbish about how you have no clue what it is I'm on about, because you do. You know very well what I'm talking about. This isn't you, so obviously this is all an act on your part, isn't it?"

Remus didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to respond, and he felt everything he had done here was falling apart at the seams. All the time he had spent, all the carefully laid plans he had put into place were in danger of being destroyed in a matter of seconds. Everything he had done would be a waste.

"I was hoping you would confide in me on your own," Althea whispered. "After all, you said you would someday. Obviously, you don't trust me enough for that yet, but you do trust me enough to get me a promotion. Weird."

"All right!" Remus snapped. For some reason, he could feel his anger rising out of control, something that it hardly ever did. That seemed to be happening more and more the longer he was here. "I'm not loyal to Greyback! Is that what you want to hear?"

"And you think I am?" Althea yelled back, pressing a hand to her chest. "Remus, I told you, I'm only here because I have nowhere else to go. I hate Greyback! The sight of him makes me sick, he disgusts me more than anyone else I've ever met in my life-"

"Well, that makes two of us," Remus commented dryly.

Althea was quiet for a moment, her chest heaving with anger. "I hate it here," she said, getting her temper back in check. Shouting at the top of their lungs about how they hated Greyback wasn't exactly the smartest idea. When she spoke again, her voice was much lower than before. "I don't want to be here, but I don't have a choice. No one will hire a werewolf to do anything. I can't support myself, and I don't have anyone to help me out even a little bit. Everyone I used to know - they're all disgusted by what I am. At least I get a place to sleep and a steady supply of food here. And it's safe." Remus opened his mouth to protest, but Althea corrected, "Safe from those who hate werewolves, of course."

They were both silent for a while. Remus had simply run out of things to say. He knew his entire plan was in shambles, and nothing he could do or say now was going to save any face with Althea.

"So let's hear your story," she said. "You do have a better place to go, don't you? That much is clear from the way you talk about home," she said in a mocking tone, but it gave Remus a tiny bit of hope. "But yet, you chose to come here instead. Why is that?"

She knew. She didn't need Remus to tell her. She was well aware that he was a spy. She had figured him out.

"That's what I thought," Althea said. "I suspected for a while now, but…you could have just told me."

"It wasn't that easy!" Remus exclaimed. "You of all people should know that most of the werewolves here will sell their soul to the devil to move up a rank. If any of them even have any souls." He shook his head in an effort to keep his mind on the topic at hand. "Just like Talon, you could have gone running off to Greyback-"

"But I never did!" Althea interrupted. "As I've said, I suspected for a long time now, but I never said one word to Greyback. Ever. I could have easily backed up the things Talon was saying, you know. Told Greyback that you're really not all that trustworthy. Maybe the both of us would have held some weight with Greyback. If you never even realized how easily I could have ruined things for you…" She took a deep shuddering breath, trying to compose herself. "But I kept your secret, and if you thought, even for a second, that I would go to Greyback with it…you never knew me as well as you thought you did." With that, she swept from the shack, leaving Remus alone.

"Althea!" he called after her, but she was already gone, and Remus knew she wasn't coming back. That she might never talk to him ever again. He banged his head back against wall in annoyance, letting out a growl of frustration. He had only tried to get Althea a promotion, because he thought it might gain even more of her trust. Remus never imagined that it would destroy whatever relationship they'd already had.

This was definitely not working out the way he had intended.

For the first time in quite a while, Remus ate his meal alone. He almost always spent mealtimes with Althea, but she was nowhere to be seen, and Remus doubted they'd ever eat together again. He was completely alienated from the pack now, Greyback being the only one that even remotely seemed to like him, and Remus wondered how long that would last.

Remus spent the rest of the afternoon in the forest, leaning up against a tree and watching the sun move across the sky. He didn't have any idea how this would impact his time here, whether Althea would say anything to anybody or not. She wouldn't go to Greyback, Remus was certain of that, especially not now, and he wouldn't believe her if she did anyway. Remus knew he was in well enough with Greyback to discredit anything she claimed, but Merlin only knew what she could say to the other werewolves. She didn't like any of them, but perhaps she would let something slip out of anger, and that would just make things that much worse for him. But Remus wasn't really keen on finding out how much worse. Not at all, so he decided to avoid everyone for as long as possible. At least until the next meeting, when he would be forced to rejoin the others.

Unbeknownst to Remus, he would never have another meeting with the rest of the pack again.

To be continued…