AN: Quick update I know, but I wrote the last chapter and this one in one sitting, so I figured I wouldn't keep you all waiting. The plans for the next two chapters are all laid out and I think they are going to be great. Enjoy!
"See Blaine? I told you he would would say yes. Now you can let him know how you really feel."
I was still a little surprised that Kurt agreed to meet with me. The last time I had seen him, he couldn't look me in the eye. But this was going to be the last time for who knows how long until we would get to see each other again. Sam was right, it was either now or potentially never. No matter how nervous I was, I knew that I just had to go and get it over with. Maybe I'll finally be able put get the closure that I needed. "Sam, will you come with? I don't want to go by myself."
Sam smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "Of course Blaine. I'll be in the parking lot. If you need me, just text and I'll do whatever I can." Sam's grip around me tightened and somehow I just knew that everything was going to be okay. As long as I had Sam on my side, I knew that I would be fine. I felt safe. I felt happy. I felt loved.
It was about a 7 minutes drive to The Lima Bean, so Sam and I hurried out the door and we got into our cars. I could feel my heart beating faster. Was I really going to do this? All of this craziness just happened two days ago, was I really ready to try and face Kurt again? What if I just went right back to rock bottom? I had to calm myself down otherwise I would never be able to say what I wanted to to Kurt. I started taking deep breaths and looked in my rear-view mirror. Seeing Sam behind me, knowing that he had my back made me feel stronger.
Soon enough, I was pulling into the parking lot at The Lima Bean with Sam right behind me. My phone chimed and I looked at the screen. A message from Sam. I smiled and opened the message.
Sam: I believe in you Blaine.
That was all that I needed. Before I could second guess myself, I got out of my car and walked into The Lima Bean. Kurt was already there, sitting at a table. He was holding his coffee, but there was another one there. I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned around and smiled. "Hey Blaine. Its good to see you again." I smiled back and took the seat across from him. "Medium drip, just like always." I was taken aback that Kurt had remembered my coffee order. But then again, we spent almost every day after school here, so how couldn't he?
It was a little awkward at first. Both of us kept sneaking glances at each other. Eventually, I couldn't stand the silence anymore and just started talking. "Kurt, I'm so sorry for what I did. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know it was stupid and I'm an idiot and I don't deserve you, but plea-"
"Blaine. Stop. I know you are sorry, you've said that enough. I understand why you did what you did. I was busy all the time, and you needed someone to talk to. If anyone should be apologizing, its me because I didn't make time for and when we did have time to talk, I only talked about myself. I've already forgiven you for what you did, but I'll never be able to forget it. Its going to take a while until I'll be able to trust you again and I don't know if we will ever be able to get back what we had. I still love you Blaine, I always will. I just don't know if I will be able to love you the way that I did."
Kurt's words, while comforting and kind, still put a dagger in my heart. Knowing that there was no way that we were going to be able to go back to being in a relationship any time soon was devastating. "Kurt, all I want is to be your friend again." I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I wiped them away and told myself to stay strong. Of course, I wanted more than that, but it was obvious Kurt didn't want the same thing that I did. I had to start small. "You're such a huge part of my life and I can't imagine life without you in it at all."
"I know Blaine, I feel the same way. You changed me as a person and you inspired me to reach for my dreams. I want nothing more than to be your friend, but we have to start back from square one if it is ever going to work."
A smile crept across my lips. "That sounds great Kurt." I reached across the table and took Kurt's hand. "I promise that I will never do anything to hurt you again. I want to hear about everything that happens while you are in New York and if anything happens here, I promise that you will be the first person that I tell."
"That's a great place to start." Kurt's phone started to go off. He looked at the caller ID and smiled. "Hey! How are you? Really? That's great! I'm so proud of you. Yea, I'm leaving in a few hours so I'll be back in New York tonight. Really? You're amazing. I'll let Rachel know. Okay. I'll see you later." He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. "Sorry, that was Adam. He goes to NYADA with Rachel and he's really nice. He's gonna pick Rachel and I up at the airport when we get back to New York."
"Well," I was looking down at the table. "I'm glad you're holding up in New York." Part of me was really happy for Kurt. It was nice knowing that he was making friends in New York, but at the same time I knew that he was moving on from high school. He was doing new things and soon enough he was going to forget about his small little hometown in Ohio. He was going to forget about McKinley, about Dalton, about me.
"It definitely is not easy. I know its weird, but somehow Rachel keeps me sane. She's that little touch of home that keeps me from striving for things that just won't happen." As Kurt was talking, I slid my phone out and sent a message to Sam.
Blaine: I'll be out in a minute. He's moved on Sam.
I faked a chuckle, "Well that's great Kurt. Listen, my mom is going to be home soon and there are still some things I have to do around the house. It was great seeing you again and I'm glad we cleared everything up. I will talk to you soon?"
We both stood up and embraced. "Of course you will Blaine. Make sure you say hello to everyone in Glee Club for Rachel and I."
"I can do that. Tell Rachel that I'll talk to her soon. I would have called her this weekend, but everything's just been a whirlwind lately and I haven't had the time."
Kurt smiled again and looked in my eyes. "I'm glad you made time for me. And I'm glad we're going to be friends again. I've missed you."
"I missed you too." I gave Kurt one last hug and walked out of the coffee shop.
I spotted Sam's truck instantly and ran over. I knocked on the passenger window and Sam opened the lock. I climbed inside and shut the door and instantly started to cry. Sam pulled me close to him and I buried my head in his shoulder. I tried to form words, but I just couldn't.
"Its okay Blaine. Let it out," Sam whispered as he rubbed my back.
Kurt was leaving for New York in a matter of hours and by the time he gets back to New York, he will have forgotten the conversation we just had and we'll go back to not speaking to each other. Kurt was going to move on in his life. He was going to do amazing things. He was going to meet amazing people. Kurt was going to find somebody else and I was going to be here in Ohio for the next year. Alone.
Except I wasn't alone. I had Sam.