Author's Note 1: I want to start off by saying THANK YOU to the many people that encouraged me to continue with this story. On 02/08/2015, 15 minutes after I had posted Chapter 10, I thought I had pushed the FSoG Fanfiction Community too far and for the first time ever, I thought about removing removing a chapter. I am now glad that I kept it up because I woke with 10+ wonderful reviews!

Chapter 11 - NOT BETA REVIEWED

Christian knew now that it had been a mistake to tell Ana anything about Sara. Everything he had said was true; she was beautiful, smart, caring, but there were things people didn't know. The expectation placed on her were harder than anyone could imagine. Her father was a ruthless business man and her debutante mother had smothered her and her sister from an extremely young age.

For Percy Anderson, having two brilliant daughters had been more of an insult than a blessing. The girls had been born disappointments for their father. It wasn't good enough that they were smarter than every child in their fancy English boarding school, they needed to be smarter than their teachers as well. Sara had once explained that she had class from 730AM to 630 PM with an hour break for lunch and when she would get back to her rooms, a tutor would be waiting for her. Then on top of her academics she was expected to participant in several clubs; chess, competitive public speaking, and softball.

For Mary-Marie Anderson, having two daughters had been one more chance to one-up her friends back home. Not only had she married a Brit, a crowning achievement in her selective group of friends but she had twin girls without a bit of it showing on her hips. Her ultimate goal had been to see her girls married into the aristocratic of London.

Neither one of them had visited Sara in the hospital wing after her second suicide attempt. They simply hired a plastic surgeon to cover the scars. Neither of them care that she couldn't walk into a ballroom without long sleeves because she breaks into hives. Her mother would simple smile as another newspaper article called her regal and her father would tell his business partners "she knows her place."

It was that aura about her that originally drew him to Sara, Christian realized that now. Seating in his VIP section, he had watched as she entertained a court of young Doms. She had sat on the edge off her chair, back straight, her chin gently tilted down, and no matter who approached she did not speak or raise her eyes from her lap. For hours she sat like that, Christian had thought it to be a test but when he asked the Master of Ceremony and found out she was a free agent. He knew he needed to have her.

Through the MC he made contact with her handler and two long months later, she was sitting across from him laying out her requirements. When all was said and done, he took her back to his playroom and for the first time, the lifestyle he was living disgusted him.

He had instructed Sara to go to the playroom, remove her clothes, and wait. Two months of wait had come down to this moment. He removed his shirt and shoes and walked through the playroom door thinking about everything he wanted to do for the last two months and there she was with her back toward the door. The sight stopped him in the doorway.

Scars from a cane and whip races down her back onto her buttocks and thighs. Sara had not moved but she had to know that he would be shocked by the sight before him. How many years had she been abused? Five, ten, feeling sick to his stomach, he had turned right around but not before reaching around the door and grabbing the robe that hung there. He had thrown it at her back and barked an order at her to meet him in the living room.

Sara appeared a moment later slightly confused and trying to get her mind out of the sub-zone. Christian motioned for her to sit at the table and she did so immediately. As part of their agreement the table was a open ground. She was not a sub, he was not a dom. It was where they were able to hash out any differences they had.

"Who did that to you?"

"Would it matter if I told you I agreed to it?" Sara had been serious, she looked him in the eye and was even able to give him a small smile.

"Tell me."

"I was in Japan when I was introduced to a very strict Dom. I applied and was selected for a formal training in the Art of submission. I became over-accustomed to his abilities and when the training ended over a year later, I found it very hard to separate my identity from my submission needs. I was desperate to get back to 'normal' and choose my next partner wrong. He was not disciplined in the way I needed and I pushed him too hard. He ended the contract at the hospital and unfortunately, I was still unfulfilled. Two more Dom, two more hospital trips and I was starting to seriously think I was losing my mind.

"On the last type to the hospital, I met a nurse who was in the lifestyle and when I broke down understood what I needed. She called a Dom friend of hers and a therapist. That was four years ago and I now know what I am looking for and how to select a Dom."

Christian pulled himself away from the memory. The rest of the night had been in the playroom. It had been a light night with nothing too hard but it had reassured him that Sara was able to adhering to the three Cs of BDSM.

Was our daughter conceived that night? Christian asked himself as he pushed himself away from the table and looked out at the Seattle cityscape. The clock on the wall told him that it was just after 2:00PM.

Normally, he would be picking up Teddy to give him a bottle but not tonight. Tonight, Christian was on his own at Escala and unable to sleep. He had come out here to think, to make lists, to get his life back in order while watching the city shut down for the night. Several sheets of paper covered the table as he trying to put what he physically needed in writing.

Dropping his pen, he picked up his cell phone and called Isabella. Three rings in and he was about to hang up with a smoky voice came over the line, "It is after midnight my local time, are you prepared for my bill?"

Christian didn't know if she was serious or not but he needed to know, "What are my options?"

"What options?"

"Concerning the child?"

"Christian, I don't under - you little coward, you're backing out on that little girl. I cannot believe this. You don't have any options. You went before a judge and pleaded your own case."

"I can't lose my family. Ana is not well, I need to be there for her and Teddy."

"And what about -" She seemed to stumble with what to call the toddler.

"What are my options, what happens if I don't take her?"

"Christian, once the test is back saying that you are the father, you will be held to your earlier ON RECORD agreement with Judge Mannersen."

"I dont have a choice -"

"Oh bullshit. You want the answer, fine, the state of New York will set her up with a guardian, with you financial will have no control over how the money you send is spent, what schools she goes to or her security. And alls she'll know about you, is that you didn't want her. Think on that for tonight, God knows I will."

People say that there was no satisfaction in hanging up on someone over a cell phone but Christian was pretty sure that Isabella felt great satisfaction in hanging up on him. Resisting the urge to throw the phone in his hand, he set it down and looked over his lists.

There was no new insight there. Just the same problems hopelessly gridlocked in placed. Was there a way that they could lock his identity up away from her? Could he pay for her living expensive without her knowing who he was...The thought drilled a spike through his heart. Giving up, he pushed back from the table and headed for the stairs. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard his phone going off in the dining room. Taking moment to fetch-it, he looked at it and saw that it was his father.

"Hello."

"Christian, Isabella just called, what's wrong?"

"Legal counsel or father?"

"It is after two in the morning, I am your father."

"Ana, doesn't want the child and if I continue on this track, I think I could lose me family."

"When did all this happen?"

"A few hours ago."

Carrick exhaled loudly into the phone. "Christian, -"

"I can't lose my family, Dad."

"I wish I could help, son, but -"

"Maybe you can, ...could you and Mom take her?"

"Christian,-"

"I would pay for everything-"

"It's not about the money, Christian. You mom and I -"

"Mom, would do it in a second -"

"I know she would, son, but that is not the point. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Your mom and I are slowing down. She is taking less shifts at the hospital and handling more of the fundraising over to the committee and I have been thinking about working pro-bono work."

"That just means you would have more time. Its perfect. She could live with you and I wouldn't have to worry about her schooling or security or anything -"

"What about every Sunday when you go home with your family and leave her there? You know what I'm talking about, Christian? I'm talking about her emotional well being…. and what about Ana? You think being out of sight and out of mind will work here because I don't."

"So what do I do? Should I have you draw up divorce papers now?"

"Will it come to that?"

"I don't know and I can't risk it."

Carrick hung up the phone and looked over at his wife. Her head was resting in her hands against her pillow but her eyes were wide awake watching him. "What's wrong?"

"Christian…. he isn't thinking."

"Carrick, tell me, I am his mother and you were his father on that phone."

"He wants us to take the child. Ana is not willing to give it a try and he is lost." Grace sighed heavily. "What?"

"Ana called yesterday, she had just got done see Teddy's doctor. I told them that Teddy was developing slower than normal a few months ago. They simply brushed it off and now he is really behind."

"What are we going to do, Gracie? Mia and Ethan are on-again off-again IDK-again (Grace laughed), Elliot and Kathie are hitting the rocks before they are even married and Christian is 10 feet deep and swimming for 3." Carrick pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at his wife.

"You were right to tell Christian 'no.' We can't fix this for him."

"I know I just worry. Ana is not well and this postpartum is serious."

"I understand that, Cary, but Ana, in some ways, needs to get over herself. Some of it is hormones but some of it is the failed expectation she set on herself. She is the one that is stopping herself from bonding with Teddy not the hormones. She had the perfect pregnancy. It all started with that damn c-section. They never should have removed Teddy from her sight. Then not to bring him back for over an hour was ridiculous." Carrick nodded, having heard this once when it all happen, twice when she reported it to the hospital and a least a dozen more time since then. "And it was her mistake to leave the hospital without knowing how to breastfeed, pure and stupid pride. She acts all shocked when he won't latch and her milk begins to dry up. She spent the whole pregnancy dreaming of being Mom of the Year and now it is crumbles under her feet."

"We can't fix it but can't we make it easier? What if she stayed with us until Ana got to know her?"

"But what if Ana doesn't try to get to know her?"

"I don't know."

"We are doing the right thing. Now, go back to sleep."

"Yes, dear."

Ending Author's Note: This chapter is about a page shorter than I like but stick with me … Next chapter is super exciting, I promise.