Author's Note: Sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy this installment. Thanks as always to all my wonderful readers and reviewers. Don't forget to leave a review with your thoughts; all constructive criticism is appreciated! WARNING: Spoilers for episode 6 of season 5.

Mordred rushed out of the citadel towards the courtyard, stopping halfway down the steps to frantically observe the homecoming party. A few other knights jogged past him, to help the riders down from their horses, but Mordred stayed put. He had been anxiously awaiting their return, and his eyes quickly skimmed the group.

Merlin was fine. Arthur was fine. Gwen was fine. At this point Mordred noticed a deathly solemnity permeating the air, and he continued on to see Percival, Gwaine, Leon, all fine, and then-

This scan took less than a second, before his eyes fixed on the body. Elyan's corpse. Dead. Deceased. Departed.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

"No, it-" Mordred stuttered.

As his horse was being taken care of, Percival lifted Elyan's body into his arms and walked up the stone stairs, carrying the weight of the world in each step he took. Arthur and Gwen followed immediately behind, tightly clasping hands. The queen had been crying recently. Merlin followed the monarchs, and then Gwaine and Leon brought up the tail of the procession. Each face was set with composed grief, and no one spared a glance for Mordred as they passed him, save Leon.

Leon turned to Mordred, his expression a mixture of exhaustion, suffering, and sympathy. Wordlessly, he placed a hand on Mordred's shoulder, squeezing gently. Mordred said nothing, still stuck in a frozen state of disbelief. The pressure on his shoulder disappeared as Leon turned and followed the rest into the castle, Mordred's eyes trailing their path without seeing anything.

"Merlin, what hap-"

"Elyan's dead," was the blunt answer, the tone flat. Merlin raced past Gaius, who was now struck silent, and shut himself in his room. He sat down heavily on the bed as the guilt and pain at losing a friend battered against him like powerful waves against a rock. There was nothing Merlin could do but let himself be worn away.

"I'm gonna miss him," said Gwaine softly, eyes slightly vacant.

"We all will," Leon agreed. "He was a good man."

"And a great friend," contributed Percival.

"And one hell of a knight," Gwaine added, the mere ghost of a smile on his lips. "We'll never forget you, old friend."

Mordred had lost his best friend, his first friend in Camelot. Once he'd moved past his disbelief, Mordred was drowned in sadness. It seemed so unfair. Was it some part of Mordred's fate that anyone he loved was doomed? His father, Aglain, and Elyan had all died, and Morgana had… changed.

If the pattern continued on this way, what lay in store for Merlin and Arthur?

Mordred felt so empty, so full of despair, that he did not realize his destination before he reached it. Once he noticed where he had wandered, however, he understood.

Pushing open the door, Mordred entered the court physician's chambers.

"Elyan was… one of my best," said Arthur softly, holding his wife in an embrace. "Loyal, and brave, and true."

Gwen pulled back from him, her eyes no longer watering, as they had been earlier. "And he was a good brother," she said firmly, "the best anyone could have. Our father would have been so proud of him. For all that he had become."

Arthur brushed the hair back from Guinevere's face, his touch tender.

"I know. And now your father can tell him so in person," he said gently. Gwen's eyes squeezed shut as she fought against more tears. Arthur hugged her close again, and she clung to him. Drawing away, he said, "But you have also been through much. You should go to Gaius, let him make sure that you are alright."

"Arthur, I'm perfectly fine, I don't need to-"

"Please, Guinevere," he interrupted. "I need to know for certain. I'll have a bath waiting for you upon your return."

Another objection on the tip of her tongue, Gwen looked up into Arthur's firm, but pleading, expression and gave a small sigh. She acquiesced. They shared a brief kiss, and then the queen left to visit the court physician.

When he heard the creak of the door and the sound of gentle footsteps, Gaius glanced up from his work. Surprised at the figure entering the room, Gaius' eyebrows rose and he looked questioningly at the young person.

"Mordred," he said, his tone confused, "what can I do for you?"

"Actually, I-" Mordred stopped. "That is… I seek Merlin. Is he… in his room?" Gaius was even more confused and amazed than before.

"Ah… yes. Yes, he's in there now."

Mordred nodded his head respectfully and said, "Thank you, Gaius." He crossed the room quietly, past Gaius, and slowly walked up the steps. Gaius watched in stunned silence. Mordred paused just outside the door, then, without bothering to knock, pushed it open and stepped inside.

"Mordred!" Gaius heard Merlin's surprised voice. "What-"

Merlin cut off and all was quiet. Gaius was tempted to peek up the stairs to see what was going on, but his conscience wouldn't allow it. He felt uncomfortable remaining where he was, as if he were eavesdropping on something immensely private, so he decided it would be a nice time for a short walk. Quickly he left the chambers.

Merlin was sitting on his bed, head in his hands, when he heard the door opening. Expecting Gaius, he lifted his head and turned to look at his guest.

Merlin jumped up, confused. Mordred stood silently just inside the door, eyes locked on Merlin's but revealing nothing. His countenance was perfectly composed, as usual.

"Mordred!" was the first word out of Merlin's mouth. "What-"

Suddenly, before Merlin even understood what was happening, a pair of strong arms squeezed him as Mordred hugged Merlin tighter than he'd ever been held before. The warlock wondered for a moment if Mordred was trying to comfort him, but then he noticed a few things. Mordred's head was absolutely buried in the nook of Merlin's shoulder and neck, and his body had never felt so tense.

Of course, Merlin thought, wrapping his own arms around Mordred just as tightly, ignoring the electric shock he received at the perfect, and familiar, feel of his ex-lover in his arms. Elyan was Mordred's best friend. How could I have forgotten?

They stood still, in silence, for several long minutes, holding onto each other with all the strength they had. Neither man even bothered to wonder if it was unwise to do so, after all the hard work they'd put in to avoid each other, because it just wasn't wrong. It was right. It was exactly what they both needed more than anything. It was necessary. And what is necessary is never unwise.

Finally, they drew away, but, unable to bear completely separating, Merlin placed his hands on Mordred's waist and Mordred held onto Merlin's arms. Their faces remained only a few inches apart. Two sets of blue eyes locked together.

"I…" whispered Mordred, looking as young and innocent as Merlin had ever seen. Choking up, he swallowed, and paused before continuing. "I'm… sorry. I know I should not have come-"

"Don't. Don't apologize," said Merlin, just as quietly.

"Merlin… I need you. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere." Merlin pulled Mordred into another embrace, a gentler one. "It's fine. Stay."

"But I thought-"

"It doesn't matter. Not tonight. I need you too."

Mordred pulled back, looking at Merlin with surprise. Merlin smiled softly, reaching out a hand to delicately brush against Mordred's cheek. The younger man trembled at the intimate touch, his heart careening into a gallop.

"I'm glad you came," Merlin whispered fervently.

Unable to hold back, Mordred swiftly closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against Merlin's. There was a split second of hesitation, before Merlin fiercely kissed back.

When she made her way to Gaius' chambers, Gwen found an empty room. The physician was out. Sighing, knowing that Arthur wouldn't relax until she'd been examined (as if Morgana would ever actually hurt her), Gwen made towards Merlin's room, intent on asking her friend (or at least, Merlin ignorantly thought they were friends) when Gaius would be back. She stopped before the bottom of the steps, the sight beyond the open doorway forcing her to halt with shock. Gwen clapped a hand over her mouth to keep herself from making a sound.

Merlin was not alone. With him was Mordred, and they were kissing passionately, seemingly lost in their own world. They hadn't even noticed the queen's presence.

After a few seconds of observation, Gwen turned away and made her way swiftly, but quietly, out of the room, her mind reeling.

So Mordred is the man that Merlin spoke of, she pieced together, stunned beyond belief. Never in a million years would she have guessed that. I wonder what Morgana will think about this.

Merlin knew it was wrong, what he was doing with Mordred, but he just didn't care anymore. They'd lost Elyan, and they'd been without each other for far too long. For just one night, they deserved to give in to their needs, to seek comfort in each other's arms, and so that's what they did.

The two men kissing feverishly, Mordred closed the chamber door, backing Merlin up against the wall when he did so, carefully avoiding the door's hooks. Merlin's jacket had already been discarded on the floor, as had his neckerchief. Mordred probed at Merlin's lips, nipping and licking gently. Merlin allowed him in.

As Mordred's tongue explored Merlin's mouth, the warlock grasped at the fabric of Mordred's shirt, pulling it up. They broke apart just long enough for Mordred to raise his arms and Merlin to slide the shirt off of him. Their lips reconnected roughly and Merlin ran his hands over Mordred's torso, reveling in the skin laid bare beneath his touch. Mordred's skin was soft and smooth, and his chest was perfectly muscled and firm.

Mordred groaned. He'd remembered how it felt to have Merlin's hands upon him, but the memory paled in comparison to the reality. His body shivered happily as Merlin's delicate fingers trailed down his chest.

Taking advantage of Mordred's distraction, Merlin flipped them around, so that it was he shoving Mordred up against the wall. Mordred's eyes flashed with surprise. Merlin smirked and attached their lips once more. His hands slid down Mordred's shoulders, down his arms, and grasped his wrists. Merlin pinned his arms against the door, then slid them up the wooden surface, until Merlin had Mordred's arms pinned above his head.

Holding the younger man thus, Merlin pulled away from Mordred's lips to trail light kisses down Mordred's neck to his collarbone. Mordred moaned at the soft, tantalizing touches, needing more. Bringing his lips back up to the other man's, Merlin kissed him deeply and released his hold on Mordred's wrists, but kept his own arms raised, silently inviting Mordred to divest him of his own shirt.

Mordred happily obliged, but slowly, brushing the fabric up, and crouching down to trace the shirt's upward progress with his lips, kissing each new inch of exposed skin, and delighting in the way he could hear Merlin's breath catch as he did so. When he stood up fully and tossed the shirt aside, he pulled Merlin as close as possible, savoring the feeling of their bare, warm bodies pressed tightly together.

They continued to share kisses and touches, soon shedding the remainder of their clothes, and the two sorcerers spent the night giving in to the craving that both had been struggling to ignore in recent weeks. It was just as perfect as their first time together, and filled with even more lust and passion than before. For just one night, Merlin and Mordred allowed themselves to feel happy and whole again. To feel loved.

Sunlight crept through the window, and Merlin's eyes flickered open. He was immediately aware of the unusual presence under his arm, and, with a start, memories of the preceding night crashed into him.

Mordred lay in the bed with him, where they had settled in for the night after making love for the second time. Merlin's arm was draped over him, holding him firmly to Merlin's chest, just as they had done the last time, this time because there was no room on the bed to do otherwise.

Merlin could not ignore how perfect it felt to wake up and feel Mordred's body beside his, his naked flesh pressing comfortably against Merlin's. But now that the grief and overwhelming need of the last night had gone, he didn't know what to do or think.

Was this alright? Was it all a horrible mistake? What were they supposed to do now? Should they part and never speak of this again, simply accepting that it was a one-time affair? Should they acknowledge that it happened, and talk about it?

Merlin knew that he loved Mordred. About that, there was no doubt. But Mordred had been distant with him lately, just as he had been distant with Mordred. Destiny and fate were coming between them. They couldn't trust one another, and they would never agree, so it was best to remain separate.

Wasn't it? Or was remaining separate a waste of effort when it was clear that they were both still desperately yearning for the other? Would remaining apart hurt more than it would help?

Merlin blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, he was startled to be staring straight into a dazzling blue pair of eyes. The warlock had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't even felt the man turn over. Because space was limited on the small bed, Merlin and Mordred were forced to press close together, and even doing so, Merlin could tell that Mordred was running the risk of falling off the side.

The two men stared into each other's eyes, neither speaking a word of greeting to accompany the light of dawn. Merlin wondered if Mordred was having the same thoughts, debating the same questions, that Merlin himself was.

Without so much as a whisper, Mordred extricated himself from under Merlin's arm and turned away, sitting on the edge of his side of the bed. His brow wrinkling, Merlin sat up as well, leaning against the wall as he watched his lover put on his breeches.

"Mordred," he said simply. The knight stood, half-dressed, and turned to face Merlin. He said nothing, clearly waiting for the other to speak. Merlin swallowed. He didn't know what to say.

"Are you… leaving?" asked Merlin, not sure what answer he wanted to hear.

"Yes, I thought that would be the best course of action," Mordred answered. Stomach twisting into knots, Merlin suddenly knew quite clearly what answer he'd wanted.

"No, Mordred, wait," he exclaimed quickly, voice desperate, pushing off the blanket and climbing out of bed to join the younger man. Merlin's hands grabbed Mordred's waist. "I don't want you to leave."

Confusion flitted across Mordred's face. "You don't? Why? I thought that-"

"I don't… know why," interrupted Merlin, looking uncomfortable. "I just know that… I don't want you to go. Not just yet."

He met Mordred's eyes. When the other man said nothing, Merlin sighed, and let his eyes wander down to where his hands rested on Mordred's hips. Merlin moved his hands upwards slowly, gently brushing over Mordred's skin, the touch full of reverence, not lust. When he reached Mordred's shoulders, Merlin dropped his right hand. With his left, he lightly traced the Triskelion design on Mordred's chest that marked him as a druid. He loved the marking. It was a part of Mordred, a part of who he was, and it was one of the many parts that made the whole perfect. The black tattoo was beautiful and precious.

Mordred felt his cheeks flush as Merlin traced the dark lines with his fingers. The touch was so intimate, so full of tenderness and love. Mordred hadn't ever thought that such a simple act could feel so sweet. It made his heart speed up and he became very aware of the way his chest expanded and contracted with every deep breath.

Merlin had traced the pattern several times now. Trying to force himself back into his senses, Mordred clenched his teeth, and closed his eyes so he couldn't see the handsome man in front of him. He reached up and grabbed Merlin's hand with his own. Opening his eyes again, he saw that Merlin's eyes had flicked up to his.

"Merlin, I can't stay. You know this. I must go." Mordred started to withdraw his hand, but Merlin only held on tighter. The manservant gazed at him with pleading eyes.

"But… when you go, when you leave here…"

The knight waited, but Merlin seemed lost, unable to finish the thought. After a pause, Mordred encouraged, "Yes?"

"It'll be over," Merlin finished sharply. "Everything that happened will just be a dream. I just feel that if you walk out now… it will all cease to be real. I don't want that. I want this to be real. What we have. What we shared."

Mordred's expression softened with compassion, and he gave Merlin's hand a reassuring squeeze. His other hand he placed tenderly on Merlin's neck, his thumb brushing against Merlin's pale cheek.

"It was real. It was never a dream," he assured his lover. "Do not think that it was. But just because it was real does not mean it must last forever. There are reasons we have not seen each other of late, and those reasons still stand. We shall never forget this moment, what we did together, how we feel, but we must pretend to. We cannot be together."

"What if I told you that I don't care?" asked Merlin forcefully. Mordred's eyebrows rose with surprise. "What if I told you that I just don't care about any of that? I want you, Mordred. More than anything."

Merlin couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth, couldn't believe what he was admitting out loud, the feelings he'd tried to stuff away in the deepest, darkest recesses of his heart. But he couldn't stop himself. After the night they'd spent together, he hadn't the will to push the druid man away. Merlin needed him. He loved him. Everything else be damned!

But Mordred did not, apparently, agree.

"I would say that you need more rest," teased Mordred gently. Merlin's heart sank like a stone into the pit of his stomach. "It is early in the morning, and you are weak. You do not truly want me more than anything. You will soon remember that. But first you must let me leave."

Feeling heartbroken, having been thoroughly rejected (though kindly), Merlin released Mordred's hand and took a step backwards. Mordred watched him, as though waiting for him to speak. When he did not, the knight picked up his shirt and boots, quickly putting them on. Mordred made his way to the door. He paused.

This felt wrong. To let it end like this. It had been so hard to push away Merlin's advances, but he knew that later on Merlin would again decide they couldn't be together, and he didn't have the strength to play hot and cold with the warlock. And of course, he still remembered his own resolve to avoid Merlin, and the reason for it, and, despite his momentary weakness the night before, he was determined to stick to it. Sort of. At least, he was strong enough to force himself to stick to it. For now.

Still, this abrupt ending wasn't right. Spinning around, Mordred marched over to Merlin, grabbed him, and kissed him firmly. Merlin responded just as passionately, but the kiss was over in a second. Reaching up, Mordred planted a loving kiss on Merlin's forehead, before racing out the door.

"How can he just leave me with that, and not expect me to want more?" Merlin cried out in frustration. He was quite alone in his chambers, only a few days later. A few more days of being avoided by Mordred, even despite the fact that they'd stood only a few feet apart at Elyan's funeral.

"I'm the one who established the boundaries in the first place, so why is he so eager to keep them? I thought he wanted to be together! ...Well, then, after that, I did try to let him die, I suppose… But honestly! I know that he wants it too, why couldn't he have just… said yes?

"And that's even ignoring the fact that he was the one to come to me that night, not the other way around! Was he just trying to wind me up?"

"Actually, I was just coming to tell you that supper is ready."

Embarrassed, Merlin spun around. His mentor stood in the doorway, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Gaius!" the young man exclaimed. He fidgeted sheepishly. "Sorry, I… I didn't mean you, I was just… I was just…"

"Quite," said Gaius simply. He gave his adoptive son one last thoughtful glance before turning away. "Come on, Merlin, before the soup gets cold!" Merlin grimaced, but followed the physician down the stairs.

Percival had been keeping an eye on the youngest Knight of the Round Table ever since Elyan's death. Obviously they were all taking the loss of one of Camelot's finest rather badly, but he knew that Mordred especially would feel alone and abandoned. Knowing that Elyan would have wanted Mordred looked after in his absence, Percival took up the responsibility easily. It was in his nature to care for and protect others.

As expected, Mordred had seemed particularly subdued in the days following the group's return from the Dark Tower. He rarely spoke, and none of the wit that had surfaced recently made any appearances. At the end of the week, when the other knights were all beginning to surface from their grief (knights were, after all, unfortunately used to such occasions and were always aware that such a thing could happen at any time), but Mordred showed no signs of doing the same, Percival approached Mordred on the grounds, before Arthur commenced the day's training.

"How are you, Mordred?" he asked quietly. Mordred looked up at the bigger man, a small smile flashing across his face before disappearing.

"I miss him," answered Mordred truthfully. He meant, of course, both Elyan and Merlin, but Percival didn't need to know that.

"I understand. It's always hard to lose a friend. But… the rest of us have been through this before, unlike you. Not that it gets any easier, but over time, you… learn how to handle it."

Mordred nodded, feeling it best not to divulge that he had in fact lost many others in his time, even if they weren't knights.

"So I just want you to know, if you need anything, if I can do anything for you, you can come to me. All right?" Mordred hesitated. "I mean it," Percival insisted. "If something ails you-"

"Did I hear someone say ale?" interrupted a loud, familiar voice. Percival and Mordred turned round to face the approaching Gwaine. "And, more importantly, where can I get some of it?"

"Well, by now I think you've drained Camelot dry, Gwaine," replied Percival. "You may have to travel to Nemeth to quench your thirst."

Gwaine laughed good-naturedly and gave Percival a friendly slap on the back. Sending a wink Mordred's way, Gwaine pushed between them, jogging off to join some of the others. Percival gave a fond sigh.

"Some people never change." Mordred chuckled. Serious again, Percival said, "So are we clear?" This time Mordred just smiled and nodded.

"Yes. Thank you, Percival. I shall remember it."

Percival nodded his satisfaction.

"Good. Now come on, I feel like knocking Gwaine on his backside. What do you think?" Mordred laughed, surprised at the ease with which he was doing so, and the two friends continued talking as they walked together across the grounds.

Gazing out the window, Merlin watched Mordred and Percival speaking from high above. During the discussion, Mordred smiled several times, and then, just once, he laughed.

Mordred was beautiful when he laughed. Merlin ached, wishing that he could not only witness Mordred laughing from afar, but hear it also. It was a tone that he sorely missed.

He'd had enough. He couldn't do it any longer.

The banquet had just ended, and Mordred made his way back to his chambers. Shortly after he closed the door and stepped inside, the door opened again. Before Mordred could turn around, he heard,

"Let me help you with that."

His heart pounding in his chest, Mordred's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he made no verbal protest as Merlin walked up behind him. A part of him screamed that he should run away, force Merlin to leave, to get out, but the battle was lost before it had begun. Mordred had been completely taken by surprise; he'd had no time to mentally prepare himself to block out Merlin's advances and remained cool and clear-headed. So he found that he couldn't. The moment Merlin had opened his mouth to speak, Mordred was finished. All resistance was over with. Perhaps the battle had truly been lost even earlier, at the moment that Mordred had entered Merlin's room after learning of Elyan's death.

Yes. That felt true. Acknowledging that fact, Mordred wasn't even sure if he was upset or relieved that his resolve to completely avoid Merlin had disintegrated.

As Merlin reached around Mordred to unclasp his cape, Mordred perceived a very noticeable change in his own pulse. Lord, how nice it had been to once again feel Merlin's touch those nights ago, the touch he'd been craving, especially since their first night together.

He wished to feel it again. Mordred struggled to ignore those needs. Just because he'd relinquished the fight to avoid Merlin entirely didn't mean he was ready to just jump in Merlin's arms suddenly.

"Thank you, Merlin," he said simply, turning to face the manservant. Merlin met his eyes briefly before setting to work on removing Mordred's gloves.

"Well I can't just leave you to undress by yourself," replied Merlin. "Who knows what would happen?"

"Yes, I do think that your assistance has caused me to forget how to do so on my own," he agreed. Internally, he was bubbling with joy and relief that he and Merlin had slid so easily into their normal banter. This was not at all awkward, like he'd feared. Perhaps they could just keep things this way, at this level. Then everything would be okay.

"I knew it. You're turning into another Arthur. I've created a monster."

Mordred laughed quietly. Merlin smiled.

"I think we're still safe from that," disagreed Mordred. "I could never truly be another Arthur unless you were devoted to my wellbeing."

Was Mordred imagining things or did Merlin stiffen at that comment? No, he mustn't have been imagining it because the next thing Merlin said was, "I have to leave." And leave he did.

What just occurred? wondered Mordred dumbly, still a bit numb from shock at the casual visit. Did I bother him by speaking of Arthur? No, he mentioned the King before I did. What then? It's not a secret that he is entirely devoted to Arthur, nor is it a secret between us that Merlin is perfectly willing to sacrifice my life for Arthur's. That's the reason we split apart in the first place. So why did my statement make him so uncomfortable?

And what in the name of the Triple Goddess is our relationship supposed to be now?

Lost in his thoughts, Mordred glanced out the window vaguely. He did a double take when a certain figure caught his eye.

There was a very familiar young man walking through the courtyard, obviously with a purpose, heading towards the lower town.

I shouldn't… thought Mordred. But his mind was made up the minute he saw the warlock.

Mordred hurried down a set of stairs, flashing a small smile at Gwaine, but dashing past the older man before he could ask any questions, which he was clearly about to do. The druid man walked across the courtyard, following Merlin into the marketplace. His eyes scanned his surroundings as he walked, searching for Merlin.

There he was, speaking with one of the vendors. Mordred halted beside a nearby cart piled high with woven baskets, but watched the manservant out of the corner of his eye.

Shopping for a pretty necklace? Mordred called out. Mordred smirked when Merlin jumped. Laughing, he watched Merlin stutter an excuse to the confused man from whom he was purchasing wares. It was clear from the tension in Merlin's body that he wanted to turn about and look for Mordred, but was forcing himself not to.

Picking up a few things for Gaius, answered Merlin, his tone dispassionate. This irritated Mordred, it made him feel unimportant to Merlin, but he reminded himself that it was good, that he shouldn't want or expect anything more, and neither should he give anything more.

Then what were they both doing flirting with each other again?

What are you doing in town? Merlin asked.

Just taking a look at what Camelot has to offer, he replied truthfully, eyeing the warlock, already outlining a new sketch in his mind.

That's nice.

Merlin exchanged some coins for a few vials of liquid. Turning about, his eyes quickly found Mordred. The young knight kept his attention focused on the baskets in front of him as Merlin approached him.

"Mordred," greeted Merlin cordially. Mordred looked up and smiled, as if surprised to see the other man.

"Merlin," he returned, "It is good to see you. Running errands?"

"Yep. For Gaius. However did you know?" asked Merlin dryly. Mordred smirked.

"I have a talent for guessing."

"Clearly. Well, I should be getting back, Gaius is expecting me-"

"I'll accompany you," said Mordred quickly. Merlin raised an eyebrow and Mordred gave him an innocent smile. "If that would be agreeable."

"Uh… that's… Sure."

The two men walked side by side through the market, back towards the citadel.

"I presume you weren't honestly interested in purchasing one of those baskets," Merlin stated bluntly. "So what were you really doing there?"

"Following you." Mordred's blatant honesty took Merlin aback briefly, but then he chuckled, giving a bright grin. Mordred smiled at the other man's reaction.

"Should have known. Don't you have better things to do with your time? Or am I the only one who works around here?"

"You would be the only one, yes. I'm sure His Majesty appreciates your efforts."

"Oh, of course he does. He even tells me so. About once every decade."

"Well that's probably about as often as he feels you've done a decent job."

"Now that was just uncalled for."

Once they'd started, they simply couldn't stop. The occasional talks continued, the flirting and the furtive glances.

Merlin, for his part, had realized that he truly did wish to be with Mordred once more. There was no use fighting against it. His affections were too great. Mordred meant everything to him, and Elyan's death seemed to have reminded Merlin of mortality, so he could no longer stand to be apart from Mordred, not when death could be just around the corner. But, since Mordred had refused him, this was the best he could get. It was certainly a large improvement on total avoidance.

Mordred, for his part, had initially had every intention of ending… whatever it was that was going on between them. But he found that he couldn't. With each passing day, he missed Elyan even more, and he couldn't keep himself from thinking… What if he were parted from Merlin? What if Merlin was the next to die and be gone forever? Mordred couldn't bear the thought of losing the man he loved, and therefore, he couldn't bring himself to waste the precious time they had. So he let things continue, acknowledging how much happier he was with Merlin now in his life, and allowing himself to be consumed again by his love for the warlock.

Sometimes, it takes just one stone to start an avalanche, or one night to break down the walls.

"Let me help you with that."

"I saw you take quite a tumble down the stairs this morning. Are you alright?" asked Mordred, voice laced with concern.

"I'm fine," answered Merlin, smiling reassuringly. "I was able to land on, uh, something soft."

"Yes, the maid, I saw. I'm sure she appreciated that."

Merlin reddened. "Well, she wasn't hurt. And I did apologize."

"Rather profusely. I think she was more bothered by your incoherent ramblings of apology than the fact that you landed on top of her," Mordred remarked, smirking at the manservant. Merlin halted and pursed his lips.

"You weren't actually worried about me, were you?" he stated. "You just wanted to tease me about it."

"Perhaps."

"Prat."

A bright smile spread across Mordred's face, and Merlin could not help the happy flush that came to his cheeks when he saw it.

"Well, I saw you practically fly through the air at training today," retaliated Merlin. Mordred felt a slight rush of embarrassment. He hadn't been aware that Merlin was watching. Merlin hadn't been out on the grounds, so he must have been observing from a window.

"Did you?" the knight said lightly.

"Oh yeah. I would have been worried about you if I hadn't been laughing so hard. The face you made when you landed on your back? It was funny, I promise you that."

"I'm glad you derive amusement from my pain."

"Well, looks like we have something in common then!" Merlin retorted teasingly. Mordred tried to resist, but he smiled anyways, and Merlin smiled back at him.

"We have much in common, Merlin," he replied sincerely. The druid man expected Merlin to bolt, to avoid the serious turn the conversation had taken, but he didn't. Instead, Merlin said, just as sincerely,

"I know. Trust me… I know."

When Merlin left that day, Mordred was left to puzzle over the enigmatic young man. So full of wit and humor, but just as full of compassion and kindness. Merlin was a mystery to Mordred, one that he still hadn't unraveled and suspected he might never. The warlock never seemed to behave quite like Mordred expected.

Mordred smiled. That was one of the things that he loved about Merlin.